The Rules, by Fein & Schneider (http://www.amazon.com/The-Rules-TM-Time-Tested-Capturing/dp/0446518131). Opened my eyes to the difference between a man who is actually interested in marriage and is capable of pulling it off, versus some horny college boy looking for an easy skirt to party with, or versus a clingy mama's boy in love with the idea of love. Opened my eyes to the difference between a woman who is actually interested in marriage and is capable of pulling it off, versus an amateur therapist looking for someone to "fix" with her love, or versus a diffident hometown girl who marries because, "Well, we've been together for x number of years, so..."