I get that. I actually got with my partner shortly after it happened to me (we honestly met about two weeks after) but it wasn't for a few months after we started dating that we tried having sex. By that time he knew a little bit about what had happened to me.
While we have a fairly normal sex life, there's been a lot of days when I'm having it really bad. So the agreement is that when I'm feeling like this, he's free to go ahead and watch porn or otherwise take care of himself (and the vice versa would be true if he wasn't up for it for whatever reason).
But in your case, it's a little different. But it's definitely normal.
And it could be a lot of things. He may not be sure of how to be intimate with you. Or he may worry that he'll do or say the wrong thing while having sex. All this can make sex seem like a difficult proposition.
And for you, obviously it's pretty discerning when you consider what he seems to be interested in. I'd have a pretty difficult time too if my partner was into something that reminded me of what happened.
I'd honestly suggest something like taking him along to see your therapist. I also recommend Wendy Maltz's excellent "The Sexual Healing Journey"- should be helpful for you and for him when it comes to understanding what to do next. (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000F7BP7A/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=OYG97WI0XNR0&coliid=I1YGBLEYX19F3W)
It kind of concerns me that he basically said "get over it" when it came to the porn as opposed to trying to understand the why behind it. It's not going to help him if he can't have an up front discussion. I love porn myself. And partners can be into different things (there's stuff I'm into that my partner isn't game for and vice versa). But it is important to at least understand what the deal is when the other partner is upset or bothered by the content. He may be ashamed of why he likes that kind of stuff. But he shouldn't shut you down when it comes to talking about it.