this book may help.. http://www.amazon.com/Survivors-Guide-Sex-Empowered-Sexual/dp/1573440795/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294706905&sr=8-1
its aimed at survivors of sexual child abuse but almost everything it talks about is applicable to any traumatic sexual experience. I found it really helpful with sort of "resetting" my sexual experiences after i was assaulted. it may be especially helpful since its aimed at helping deal with things that happened a long time ago/that you may not remember.
For women survivors: http://www.amazon.com/The-Survivors-Guide-Sex-Empowered/dp/1573440795
For male and female survivors: http://www.amazon.com/The-Sexual-Healing-Journey-Survivors/dp/0060959649