>It still puts her on the spot and can make her feel uncomfortable.. especially if she's not interested. Right?
Only if you put her on the spot. ...this is becoming cyclical. It sounds like you really need to relax and think about how you can let go of expectations, yet still move forward with relationships. Have you ever read anything Taoist? I might suggest starting with The Tao of Pooh. Seriously.
>I started out w/ calling her and always got her voice mail. She would return my voice mails with text messages.
I'm guessing you're younger? College age? Kids these days! ;) (I'm only 29, but I'm still surprised how differently people communicate between generations)
You can't ever truly buy back your health, so start the THRIVE diet as soon as you can and keep yourself in shape.
Skip relationships and any drugs that won't help regulate your behaviour. Jerking off is cheaper for now and not nearly as much time or effort.
Avoid spirituality and soul searching for now. The world's a fucked up place, sure, but everything will proceed with or without your special view on things. To truly know what's wrong with humanity, study humanity and it's approach. Future me note: You will fucking LOVE anthropology.
Focus on your craft, whether it's writing or drawing or acting or filmmaking or whatever. For instance writing: if you just brave through and write as much as you can every single day, by age 30 you'll have a good FORTY or more novels completed. Trust me, with forty products on Amazon you won't have to work a day. Nike, man, Nike. JUST FUCKING DO IT.
Save every penny now - you can buy all those shiny new video games and comic books when they're in the bargin bin.
Invest all that money into a giant pile, but for lord's sake in a Credit Union or a non bend-you-over bank.
Practice your craft to a degree that you can make money without a shitty dayjob.
If you study a new language every day, you will eventually know a shitton of languages.
After you've invested all the saved money and the well earned money into a pile, you no longer need to work as the money's compounded interest makes more money in a day than you can.
By age 30 you'll be independently wealth, healthy and fit, extremely happy, know a lot of languages, have perfected a craft, and have a lot of free time on hand: use this to acquire relationships with anyone you want and chase your own hobbies in the luxury of time.
...if I knew this list of things back then, if I KNEW the things I KNOW now: I would not be in the shithole condition I am now. "If gets better" only works if you make things better with your hard work.