So first she guilts you for your DH not paying for her birthday dinner and then tries to guilt your DH into buying her an overpriced mirror? Yikes.
You said she makes six figures but squanders it? Buy her a budgeting book for Christmas! I’ve heard Dave Ramsey is good! Lmao
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Y2tfCb3313DFT
Tell her all about how you love his budgeting system and you incorporate it into your lives completely! You thinks it’s so great you just have to share. But then again I like being helpfully passive aggressive lmao
Wow. Well, if anything is going to turn this thread on its ear, it’s going to be this. But since you asked (not an affiliate link):
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VSCMH970KZMXHWPVCG26
I prefer the audio book. Listened to it twice, which I highly recommend since you tend to grab on ideas as you go and the second listen makes sure you get things in the correct order.
We also have the print edition to bookmark, highlight and take notes in.
As long as it isn’t about someone’s salary other than that making money and helping people be smart with it is a very open topic for example this is a best seller “Dave Ramsay’s Total Money Makeover” at least here in the states
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_ND4VFbHTQ9V5H
If you haven't already, check out Dave Ramsey. He has audiobooks, book books, one of the most popular radio shows/podcasts in the country, and a youtube channel.
He will teach you how to get out of debt and live less than you make. He teaches you how to "pull yourself up" by the bootstraps, how to stop making excuses, stop spending money you don't have, and later on how to invest to gain financial freedom.
If you want, add his book book or audiobook to your wishlist and I will buy it for you. It's an eye opener and a life saver. I recently paid back about 100k (I am including interest I paid) only making 35k and then up to 48k. Took me about six years.
PM your amazon wishlist address if you'd like the book.
I can recommend a couple resources to get you started. One is the subreddit /r/personalfinance. There is all kinds of useful information on there that can help you. The other is the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. It is quick read. If you do the audiobook it is less than 4 hours. You can almost certainly get it from your local library for free, maybe even as an ebook or digital audiobook.
A very very brief simplistic explanation is that it uses a snowball approach to your finances when in debt. List out all of your monthly expenses from lowest to highest, establish a small emergency fund, then pay off the debts from lowest to highest. When you pay off the lowest one, start applying that now freed up expense to the next lowest. I know that saying to establish an emergency fund is /r/restofthefuckingowl material for this question, but I'm just giving a summary of the ideas.
An example is if you have two debts. One for $200 that you have a minimum paying of $10/month on. Second is for $1000 that you have a minimum paying of $50 on. Each month you pay the $50 minimum on the 2nd and as much as you can on the first one, we will say $25 for this. In 8 months you pay off the first loan, so in the 9th month you roll that $25 into the second loan, and start paying $75/month on it
That's the gist of Total Money Makeover, but I can give you another tip that has helped from my personal experience. It sounds like a discipline problem of spending money when you know you shouldn't. Open a savings account and use direct deposit to automatically put $10, 20, or whatever is appropriate for your paycheck into that savings account. Since it will never hit your checking account you just pretend it doesn't exist.
I was in much of the same position you are. My dad made plenty of money and paid my way through college, etc.
The best thing the man did for me was force me to take Dave Ramsey’s class on money management. It changed my life and view on money. I learned how to tell my money where to go instead of just wondering where it went. Because the whole class is kind of expensive, I suggest you just read his book “Total Money Makeover.” Here’s a link if you so desire.
They may be good candidates for Dave Ramsey's approach. Maybe buy them a copy of his book.
His plan is basically like Alcoholics Anonymous for people who can't responsibly use credit. If bankruptcy is off the table, then the only way out is to spend less, make more and pay off the debt with the difference.
I was in about that much debt, though am single with no kids, but also earned a bit less. I discovered Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and it really helped me bust through my own bullshit attitude of “I should have these things I can not afford.” It was normal to have a $200/month cable bundle. It was normal to eat out daily. Well as Dave says, “being in debt is normal!”
I was lucky to have an extra job land in my lap, and I earned about an extra $10,000 in 8 months. All of that went to paying down debt. Getting a good chunk paid down helped reduce the monthly payments all round, as well as asking sure everything got paid on time. I didn’t realize how much I was wasting every month on late payments, not to mention the damage to my credit score.
You’ve probably already considered this, but weigh your wife’s future income against what childcare will cost. No sense in working just to pay childcare. And perhaps if she stays home with the children she can find a way to earn money online and contribute that way.
Consider whether it would be beneficial to sell and move to a smaller/cheaper house. Your wife’s car being leased will probably be tricky to get out of, but may be possible. Just seriously examine each monthly expense (including subscription services) and decide “do I need this, or is it a luxury?”
Examine your bank statements for what you spend on other luxuries than sneak in, like coffee or fast food. You’ve listed your bills, but what other things might you be spending money on that you don’t even notice?
I got rid of cable, tightened up on shopping and fast food. It’s taken about 4 years but I’m almost debt free. And I’ll admit, I could have been stricter and gotten it done faster.
Thanks. It was hard but totally worth it. Late 20s. Making around 40-50k. Followed this book's instructions to a T and was able to pay it off within a couple years. My job sucked but I was so motivated to kick ass I got a better job within the same company and used the pay increase to reach the finish line.
I don't have a great answer to that question. I would definitely try a private sale first. If in a couple months you don't get a bite (deal local and in person on craigslist, please), then try to sell it to a dealership or carmax, etc.
You two are great candidate for Dave Ramsey's plan - check out his book Total Money Makeover. It's a step by step plan to get out of debt, and it works well if you commit to it. It's very no-nonsense, and it has an enormous support community around the country and online.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the truck. The loan payment and insurance combined is half your monthly income! That is way out of line. Hopefully, you're not upside down in the truck and you can sell it to buy something much, much cheaper. You'll save hundreds of dollars on the truck payment and probably see a drastic drop in your insurance costs.
$150 for internet is more than double than what I pay. Who is your provider?
Other things you can do would be find a second job to work some evenings or weekends. Even if you sell the truck, you're going to have a rough time getting ahead making only $10/hr. I realize that means you're going to be busy, but most of the time the only thing that will get you out of a jam is hard work.
Lastly, you absolutely must start budgeting. It's a habit to carry through the rest of your life. Money needs a plan and a purpose. If you don't tell it where to go, you'll always wonder where it went!
Here's a book I'd recommend: The Total Money Makeover. This is the only thing that made a difference when I decided to make financial changes in my life.
You've already gotten a lot of good advice. But I wanted to say that filling for bankruptcy is not going to help you if you make less than you spend. It will screw up your credit and you will still be living off credit cards. Once you cut your expenses and gain more income, start working at paying off the highest rate CC first. You might want to consider getting a book like The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness"
Also, since she is staying home with your son, maybe she could take in another child to watch.
What he teaches REALLY helped me. Cut up my credit cards and do cash only things or debit card, and did the debt snowball to pay down the lowest ones first (regardless of interest).
What are you passionate about? Hobbies? I bounced around in 4 different majors before I found Theatre Arts, got a degree and then decided to become a professional pet stylist. (dog groomer). At least I do it with flair!
I'm not particularly religious, but there is a class that is offered in many Christian churches that you have other like minded individuals also trying to get out of debt. (He does reference the bible and some religious teachings, but it's not littered in it)
"If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." - Dave Ramsey
The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/
Here are the most reliable cars under 5k. I would go for a Toyota because most (Camry’s and such) don’t have interference engines. This means if you don’t change the timing belt in time, your engine won’t be destroyed.
Here’s how to maintain your car.
Here’s how to get a hold of your finances.
Edit: clarification
I'd strongly recommend you follow Dave Ramsey's approach. Seven steps to financial security, with the debt-snowball method.
If you have an Amazon wishlist, I'd be happy to buy his book for you.
it all depends on the bank and individual, every bank has both good and bad financial planners, unfortunately the only way to find out is trial and error.....FP's quite often also wont take customers that dont have investment money, their main purpose in the banks is to deal with higher dollar value clients and help them come up with a plan for retirement and other major life events like kids college, starting a business, purchasing a vacation home etc....they are supposed to look at your entire financial situation and help you develop your financial strategy as it were.....typically every financial planner I have ever known in the bank (myself included) didnt work with beating debt for clients....reguar financial advisor (account manager or whatever they are called at your FI) should be able to do this for you, unfortunately the quality of a lot of them is even worse than the FPs.....if you want to try a financial officer go ask the receptionist to book an appointment, try to find who is booking the furthest in advance because they are most likely going to be the most experienced/longest tenured officer there and going to know more (assuming they are willing to help)......
I would highly highly recommend you check you a guy named Dave Ramsey he is one of the best resources I have ever seen and he lives for helping people get out of debt and build wealth the smart way....he is pretty extreme in some of his strategies but they do work! and if you dont want to follow exactly to the letter it just takes a little longer (eg. he says no going out to eat until you are outta debt, but my wife and I did while we were climbing out, we just made sure we budgeted for it elsewhere and it just made it a little longer getting out, but not by much if you stick to the budget)
This is the link for one of his best selling books, the link is amazon but you can get an e-version as well, its cheap and pretty entertaining and a great read cuz it walks you through the "baby steps" of getting out of debt and building wealth....he also does a daily radio show/podcast that is excellent to listen to and its free!
this is the hardcover and its only 20 bucks, i think the softcover is a little less...they carry his books in chapters and any major bookstore
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial/dp/1595555277
I read the book first, then hired a coach. I was like you, sometimes you know what to do and need to do, but it helps having someone in your corner mentoring you along the journey.
If you're breaking down, are having panic attacks with heart and breathing issues, and are shutting down whenever the topic of investing is brought up the issue isn't investing, it's an unchecked anxiety problem. The topic of money, self-worth, and investing may be a trigger, but it almost certainly isn't the underlying issue. It's going to be hard to build financial literacy and confidence without first tackling the emotions around money. Personal finance, it is often said, is 80% personal and only 20% finance.
If you've been going to the same therapist, go to a different one. Ask about anti-anxiety medications/CBT type therapies, etc. If you haven't tried Zoloft/Lexapro/etc you need to. Like now.
There are tons of totally accessible resources on investing (or you could just dump your money into an S&P 500 index fund and never think about it again), but this almost certainly isn't a matter of knowledge, it's a matter of anxiety and self worth. There are tons of really good classes and books on investing. If books aren't your thing, there are great podcasts that are available.
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial/dp/1595555277
It'll change your life. Don't even have to buy the book. Get it from your local library.
For beginners in finance, I like the Dave Ramsey show because he helps show you get out of debt quickly:
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https://www.youtube.com/thedaveramseyshow?sub_confirmation=1
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Check out his book The Total Money Makeover : https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1595555277/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0?fbclid=IwAR3x5-Psjr8-Djy0FVEXkoBgcH4Hzl99Zk6szjCn1hSXnUXmphkcVUslMmI
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No it's not common, though if you have almost no credit it could be. I'd say just pay it yourself with some disipline and a budget, if you don't know where your money is going you can't possibly pay it off anyway. A budget doesn't mean no fun, but every paycheck gets dividied into a few pots to help you. like this One pot for rent, one pot for utilities, one pot for food, one pot for transport, one pot for maintence of your vehicle (even if it's only like $10 a paycheck it's better then nothing, and when it breaks 5 months later you might have $120 sitting there to pay for a new alternator, battery or starter), One pot for fun (but the fun pot should be VERY small until the debts are gone, like maybe $20 to $40 at MOST) and finally every single dollar you possibly can into debts. But since your paycheck is probably pretty static, you'll know how big this pot is.
THe best way to do it from what I've seen, take your smallest normal paycheck you've ever gotten, budget off that. then if you get a bigger paycheck (you should since it's your smallest after all) you'll have more able to dump into the debt pot each month.
Want it to go away quickest, work side jobs, extra hours, over time if allowed and even pick up a small second job until it's over. It's not glorious but it gets you off the treadmill quicker and you can stay off.
I would say however, get yourself $1,000 saved up in an emergency fund (emergency is car explodes, break your hand and have to fix it, etc etc) get that $1,000 saved first, THEN do everything I said, then no matter what you can keep going. If the car explodes and you need a new transmission, you use the money in the emergency fund and pay it back fully to $1,000, then resume paying extra on your smallest debts. All the while, all payments always get the minimum payment, no missed payments. This will keep you from getting extra charges, higher interest rates or collection calls.
It'll take some time, but it'll work and most likely by August you'd have everything 100% paid, $1,000 in the bank and not a debt in the world. And the only reason I'm saying that long, I expect things to be messed up, the budget to be bad the first month or two, things to be bought you don't need as you realize 'wait a minute, I'm paying like 30% interest on this burger because I haven't paid off my debts yet, do I really NEED this hamburger!?!?!?' etc etc. It sinks in quick like that.
Here's where I get most of that stuff: https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial/dp/1595555277/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1517106485&sr=8-1&keywords=the+total+money+makeover+by+dave+ramsey He's not perfect by far, but unless you have an extensive financial education you won't know most of that stuff. It's a $14 book I recommend to dozens of friends and it seems to be getting everyone to a more even spot the last few years. And yes, I'm on it myself atm, only where you started with a few grand I started with just shy of $100,000..... it's a god damn annoying road to walk, but I'm getting there myself. If I can help even a few people to avoid getting to where I got to, I'll consider that a damn good day.
Check out this book and stay away from the stock market until you know what you are doing.
I'd look into Dave Ramsey's book or at least his "baby steps".
PF is mixed on him. Personally, I can attest to the success of his program. If you can get that debt cleaned up you have plenty of income to save for retirement and send your kid to college paid for. Best of luck.
The best ones are of course free, and both this subreddit and bogelheads have a wealth of knowledge. I try and watch a tutorial or read a story a few times a week on both
For how to create and stick to a budget as a young professional, I like Dave Ramsey. He has tons of good rules of thumb and pitfalls to avoid that will be useful for the rest of your life. He's a bit conservative though, and I don't necessarily agree with his cash only, no debt strategies.
Suze Orman is another great author for younger people, especially when tackling big things for the 1st time like home ownership and loans
My top suggestion though is Rich Dad, Poor Dad. It's not as direct as many other personal finance books, as its more general advice on how to steer your financial life, but itss an incredible book
I always recommend the following three personal finance books.
Beginner: Total Money Makeover
Intermediate: Your Money or Your Life
Advanced: Early Retirement Extreme
Total Money Makeover is perhaps the most flawed of the three. But if you're not familiar with how compound interest and debt work, YMoYL can be a bit too advanced for some to start with.
IMO, the key to everything is tracking where it goes. If you're not watching your finances it's hard to make progress.
A lot of people use Mint because it's free, but it's not my favorite. Most people who get really into budgeting seem to prefer You Need a Budget for tracking expenses. I like their system, but don't like that it won't sync with online accounts, so I use Mvelopes which is similar, but more expensive.
Read this. Skip over the Jesus freak parts but I can't recommend this book enough.
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_HyaSub1BN0K8R
Congrats! you are willing to make a change in your life and it looks like you could use Dave Ramsey's ideas, point of view on debt and how to make a change:
/r/DaveRamsey/ - Dave Ramsey
ps: I got the audiobook, and his delivery is just incredible, I needed that to get stuff started.
<em>The Total Money Makeover</em> by Dave Ramsey. It's not a motivational book or anything like that but it's what got me out of debt and really got me started with goal setting and personal improvement. It was more of his radio show than the book for me though.
Or you can actually have an achievable plan...
The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/
This is too long to read.
Read this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_rgGwDb353PPSZ