I can’t answer your questions specifically as I still have quite a bit of learning to do but from what I’ve found in my own experience, gnosis can come from anywhere not just the Bible or Nag Hammadi. My advice(and I’ve seen others on here give the same advice) would be to discover yourself and find out who you are, then go down a few rabbit holes of your own interests by reading books, listening to podcasts, listening to music, watching documentaries, etc. You will eventually find out the answers to most of your questions.
Also, I just picked up and started reading the book “The Undiscovered Self” by Carl Jung. In addition to what others recommended, this might be a good one as well and you can get it for like $7 on Amazon.
The Undiscovered Self: The Dilemma of the Individual in Modern Society https://www.amazon.com/dp/0451217322/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_wg9cFb1K0FXKA
Here are 2 of the best lectures to start with:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqONu6wDYaE
https://jungchicago.org/store/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=239
The second one deals directly with trauma, and the need to "forge a sword" so to speak as part of the individuation process.
The first is more of a framework for contextualizing myth and its use within psychotherapy that is grounded in evolutionary biology - I think it will do you a great deal of good since you've got hang ups around that.
Peterson and Bolen are among the best regarded Jungians alive today. But if you want to go direct to the source (Jung himself), start with this:
https://www.amazon.com/Undiscovered-Self-Dilemma-Individual-Society/dp/0451217322
There's a suggested reading list in the wiki, but just a quick glance at that and you're still in the realm your in which is confusion as to where to start. In my opinion, the best place to begin is with his short (about 100 pages or so) book published later in his career called "The Undiscovered Self" (https://www.amazon.com/Undiscovered-Self-Dilemma-Individual-Society/dp/0451217322/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=undiscovered+self&qid=1600892123&s=books&sr=1-1). It is self-contained in that it doesn't draw too heavily on archetypal terminology that most of his CW does and anything he speaks of in the book is defined in the book. It's also pretty damn cheap (about $8 in that link). In the work, written during some of the darkest days of the Cold War, he lays out the fundamental issues of shadow integration and the individual's relationship to the state, authority, the masses, and God (or the Self). It's not explicitly stated (as far as I remember), but in the work he basically lays out the groundwork for having a religious experience (encounter with the shadow leading to an encounter with the Self). If you want good material to go alongside or after this, I would suggest either the Penguin "Portable Carl Jung" (https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Jung-Library/dp/0140150706/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=portable+carl+jung&qid=1600891745&sr=8-1), the "Essential Carl Jung" published by Princeton University Press (https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Jung-Selected-introduced-Anthony/dp/0691159009/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=essential+carl+jung&qid=1600891734&sr=8-1), or "Modern Man in Search of a Soul" which is an older compilation of essays many of which are found in the Penguin Portable book (https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Search-Soul-Carl-Jung/dp/0156612062/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DHROYWYQ31GN&dchild=1&keywords=modern+man+in+search+of+a+soul&qid=1600891850&s=books&sprefix=modern+man+in+search%2Caps%2C282&sr=1-1). Once you get the hang of him and his ideas, I'd recommend checking out and diving into those aspects which most speak to you personally (the CW always have titles and descriptions to help with this in case you feel lost) and also the works of other Jungian scholars like Erich Neumann, Marie Louis von-Franz, James Hillman, Edward F. Edinger ("Ego and Archetype" is the best distillation of Jungian thought in a single work that I've personally come across). Unless you want to be an analyst, expert psychonaut, or modern-day shaman you really don't need to dive into and explore the entirety of his work or the theories and practices stemming from that work/tradition.