I know this will come off as kind of shill-y, so I beg your forbearance, but I actually wrote a book specifically demolishing Feser and his Thomistic system. It's targeted towards laymen, and I sincerely believe it's both the most effective takedown of Feser's apologetics in a single (relatively) concise monograph. Check it out on Amazon, and the ebook is quite cheap.
https://www.amazon.com/Unnecessary-Science-Critical-Analysis-Natural-ebook/dp/B08M68LP8F/
I critically examine Thomism's religious, moral, and lastly metaphysical claims, and find significant errors and unneeded assumptions in all of them. I'd be willing to bet it would assuage at least a few of your doubts, friend!
I think you're exactly right, which is why I'm an anti-classical theist :P This is why I don't put much stock in the whole act/potency thing. If you'd forgive me for shilling my own work (I hope the mods don't mind, or will overlook it just this once, since this is just a little comment), I've written a whole book that echoes some of the points you've made regarding how puzzling this "actualization of potential" seems to be. The ebook is pretty cheap on amazon.com, it's "The Unnecessary Science: A Critical Analysis of Natural Law Theory", I think you'd like it. It also criticizes a lot of Feser's other hobbyhorses, ranging from religion to ethics!
Well, I have to give Feser credit--out of the very many...not just Thomist, but Aristotelian philosophers both today and historically, Feser's one of the few that makes their thought even remotely comprehensible to laymen. As perhaps the foremost popularizer of Aristotelian thought writing at the moment, it's not that surprising he's, well, popular.
That said, despite the clarity with which he makes them, I don't think Feser's arguments really work at all. Forgive me for the self-promotion, but I posted this in excatholic before and it was well received, so I think you'd like it:
https://www.amazon.com/Unnecessary-Science-Critical-Analysis-Natural-ebook/dp/B08M68LP8F
I wrote The Unnecessary Science: A Critical Analysis of Natural Law Theory as an extended riposte to Feser's writing, and I think it's the first monograph that directly and explicitly takes a hammer to contemporary natural law stuff, primarily Feser's. It might be very useful to you, the ebook in particular is most accessible.
Hey guys, sorry for the self-promotion, but I've recently put out an ebook that might be of interest to some folks here, and thought I'd show off to y'all:
https://www.amazon.com/Unnecessary-Science-Critical-Analysis-Natural-ebook/dp/B08M68LP8F/
"The Unnecessary Science: A Critical Analysis of Natural Law Theory" is an extremely in-depth, extended takedown of a certain brand of conservative moral, political, and even metaphysical philosophers favored by a lot of right-wingers (Catholic and not) particularly in America (exemplified by Bill Barr and Clarence Thomas). The book concentrates particularly on the work of Edward Feser, who is the most popular contemporary academic proponent of this sort of thinking. Of particular interest to SWS is chapters 3 and 4--I examine how Plato, who Feser holds as one of the significant figures of the "natural law tradition," was actually popular with the Nazis as well, and how his ideas (as interpreted in the writing of "race scientists" like Hans Guenther) were used to justify some ugly Nazi policy that actually ran contrary to Catholic doctrine and supposedly conservative ideals, like the Aktion T4 program. I hope you'll give it a look, though the book is quite hefty (over 100,000 words!) it's written in a lively and entertaining style that's readily understandable to just about any educated reader, even one unfamiliar with philosophy.