Like you, big pregnancy pillows never seemed to work for me. I found them impossible to get comfortable with, and felt like it was dominating my bed (I'm also the type who only sleeps with one flat pillow under my head in non-pregnant times, so I really just felt swallowed by it).
I did find a knee pillow to be super helpful for hip and lower back pain. I started using it toward the end of my second trimester last time, and I'm 14 weeks and already using it now. It really helps with spinal alignment, and keeps me firmly on my side. It's worth a shot! Knee pillow