The book The Transgender Teen
Was very helpful for my husband. It was recommended to us by our oldest's gender therapist. I found almost every question we had was in there. Hope it helps!
Not sure if this will help, but I remember my parents getting and reading "Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens" after I first came out to them. They became much more supportive after reading it, so I assume the book may have helped them along. Can't say I've read it though, so idk for sure.
You can’t make a mom not worry, unfortunately. Plz tell her to look up local PFLAG groups, she could get support from parents with loads of experience having trans kids. This book is good - Transgender Teens by Stephanie Brill - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1627781749/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_ZJX2DHRMG52C0ZCXSPSZ
That’s a beautiful letter, I don’t think it needs editing! I do think you could also give them the names of a couple of books for parents of trans people, and/or info about your local PFLAG group if there is one. This book is good - https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749
Actually to me he sounds like he doesn't even know that much. Which is actually a positive thing; if he's ignorant, rather than somebody that knows things that ain't so, them maybe he can be educated. If there's really no other options, I suggest getting him a copy of https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749 and telling him this book confused you so and you really need a professional to explain it to you. If you can get him to actually read it...
I haven't read it, but this book is a counterpart to one I did read for younger children (by the same authors), and which is widely recommended for them. I imagine this one is similar, just focused around your age group instead.
From what you've said here, you are really obviously Trans. You're completely textbook. I honestly have no idea why you think you might be cis.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a girl. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a girl, but I'd rather be a guy" is dysphoria. "I wish I had dysphoria because then I could transition" is dysphoria. Cis girls would not rather be guys. They actively like being girls. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it. The point isn't that we're all miserable tortured souls who hate our bodies and want to die every time we're misgendered. If something different sounds like an improvement to you, that is a manifestation of dysphoria.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a guy or anything else. If you want to be seen as a guy, put yourself into social situations as a guy, whether online or offline. If you want to try binding, try binding (safely!). If you want to try packing, try packing. If you want to try wearing jeans from the men's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take T, take T. If you want to stop taking T later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on T later still, do that. Etc.
Therapy would do you a world of good. To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
Come chat in Yay for Queers too if you want. I think you'd like it there. It's mostly Transmasculine folks and questioning people. It's not a bustling hive of constant chatter, but if you talk, people will respond and be happy to chat with you. :)
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. (Never give or recommend anything you haven't read yourself!) There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Check out Camp Aranu'tiq. You'd love it.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (If you're 18+ by the time they're ready, have them join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), the Gender Odyssey conference, and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Gender Management Service clinic at Phoenix Children's Hospital, the Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you aren't near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
I'm a Trans adult who transitioned as a teen, and now works with Trans youth. This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
Tell your son flat-out that it's completely fine with you that he's Trans, binary or non-binary, and that you will support him no matter what. We have to actually explicitly say the words, or the message isn't clearly received. I'll never forget the wonderful PFLAG mom (connect with PFLAG, by the way, even though you're not in the US) who talked about her gay son coming out in his early 20s; he was terrified to tell his parents, which confused and upset them because they'd very consciously never said anything about being gay not being okay. His response was "But Mom, you never said that it was okay either."
Remember, too, that you have to walk your talk when you say you'll support them no matter what. Support for Trans youth matters. Support doesn't mean saying "I support you" and then discouraging him from wearing the clothes he wants to an upcoming family event, or not using his name and/or pronouns, or telling him he should wait to pursue medical transition. That isn't support. If he doesn't feel supported, he's in the stat group of unsupported youth.
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look. Share both of those books with your son.
Check out Camp Aranu'tiq. You'd love their family camp.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Run, don't walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning who are 18 or under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for you there, even though you're already supportive. On Facebook, should check out these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), the Gender Odyssey conference, and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Gender Management Service clinic at Phoenix Children's Hospital, the Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can tell his family connect with more providers and support networks in their area for Trans youth and their families, even if he doesn't go to uni near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world. (Children's hospitals routinely serve young adults, sometimes up to age 21 or 25 or so.)
Hi! As a Trans person, I would suggest having a discussion about this. It might sound harsh, but quite frankly, if he wants to have a child at all, he will have to accept him. It is not possible for your stepson to hide who he is, and if he is forced to it will be detrimental to his relationship with his father, and the impact on his mental health will be irreversible. present him with the facts.
"More than one in four (27 percent) trans young people have attempted to commit suicide and nine in ten (89 percent) have thought about it. 72 percent have self-harmed at least once. (Youth Chances 2014, sample size = 956)" (https://www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/trans_stats.pdf)
"Research shows that trans youth with supportive families experience: 52 % decrease in recent suicidal thoughts and a 46% decrease in suicide attempts"
I would suggest he look over both of those resources, as well as considering reading this book. (https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749)
It is possible that your husband quite reasonably is trying to stop him from being transgender out of fear. Assure him that the damage done by the family is irreversible. It's true, trans people are discriminated against, but having a supportive family makes it exponentially easier. You are off to a great start and it will be incredibly helpful for your stepson that you continue to refer to him by the correct name and pronouns.
Much love, you're doing great.
-Andrew
Some great resources...
Get the book The Transgender Teen for you and other others who need questions answered.
Get a gender exploring workbook for your child. There are lots on amazon. Your child may or may not use it, but it will be can be helpful for them if they decide to use it or even just look through it and think about it.
>will tell me what he thinks I want to hear.
This is highly likely. My daughter did this, a lot. 6 year-old is probably going to be more flexible than anyone and will probably be fine with this. If you and your spouse are both accepting, ask your daughter if she'd like to be correctly gendered in the home. This will be a big burden on you to remember to codeswitch when you're in front of others, but may go a long way to getting your teen to trust you on this.
AZ DHS has a list of local resources here: https://azdhs.gov/documents/prevention/womens-childrens-health/womens-health/adolescent-health-conference/resources.pdf
Pick up a copy of this book: https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749 It has answers to almost every question you've had with the science and experience to back it up.
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The book your parents currently have encourages conversion therapy for trans kids and pushes conspiracy theories about trans-supportive therapists being "institutionally captured." Depending on how susceptible your parents are to this type of fearmongering, you might want to prepare for the worst case scenario. Make sure you have an exit plan if necessary and watch this video guide on how to identify and resist conversion therapists. If a therapist refuses to use your preferred name/pronouns, avoid telling them about anything you are struggling with. By refusing to respect your identity, they are not acting in good faith and shouldn't be trusted. Part of the goal of conversion therapy is to find any excuse to say that you aren't really trans by blaming other things going on in your life. If you are anxious, depressed, being bullied, tired, or have pretty much anything else that may be inconveniencing you, don't tell a non-affirmative therapist about it. They will use it as an excuse to say you aren't really trans.
Not sure if this will help, but I remember my parents getting and reading "Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens" after I first came out to them. They became much more supportive after reading it, so I assume the book may have helped them along. If your parents are willing to look at other sources, it might be worth it to recommend that book to them.
So let him be a boy. Letting your kid be himself doesn't equal pressuring him. Pressuring him would be telling him he can't be who he is now because he's too young to understand and he should just let everything flow when he doesn't want to let things flow, he wants to be himself and be fully supported in that.
Kids are not too young to understand fluidity. There are tons of out non-binary kids your kid's age and younger. They're fine and they're not confused. Adults are the ones who get confused, not kids.
The way you be supportive is you roll with the kid you have RIGHT NOW and don't go "well it might change so let's just wait and see". Choosing to not do anything or to drag your feet "just in case" is not "not making a decision". It is making a decision, and it sends the message to your kid that you don't trust him to know himself. That is what directly seeds doubt in kids that previously knew themselves very well and leads to an endless parade of teens and adults saying "Maybe I'm just making all this up" and "I've felt this way for 15 years but maybe it's just a phase". And it's part of what drives up our suicide and poor mental health statistics. Don't contribute to that.
What if it does change later? What terrifying permanent choices do you think your kid is going to make at 10 years old?
See if there are groups for LGBTQ youth, and especially Trans and gender-questioning youth, in your area.
Tell your kid flat-out that it's completely fine with you that he's Trans, binary or non-binary, and that you will support him no matter what. We have to actually explicitly say the words, or the message isn't clearly received. I'll never forget the wonderful PFLAG mom (join PFLAG, by the way, especially if your local chapter has a group for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids) who talked about her gay son coming out in his early 20s; he was terrified to tell his parents, which confused and upset them because they'd very consciously never said anything about being gay not being okay. His response was "But Mom, you never said that it was okay either."
Remember, too, that you have to walk your talk when you say you'll support him no matter what. Support for Trans youth matters. Support doesn't mean saying "I support you" and then not letting him wear the clothes he wants to an upcoming family event, or not using his name and/or pronouns, or telling him he should wait to pursue medical transition. That isn't support. If he doesn't feel supported, he's in the stat group of unsupported youth.
The book <em>The Transgender Child</em> by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper is your new bible, seriously. And http://facebook.com/groups/proudparentstrans/ will help you a ton.
Check out http://camparanutiq.org/ ! Your kid would love it. See https://jvoor.wordpress.com/2020/12/06/lgbtq-summer-camp-list-2021/ for more awesome summer camps to look into for next year.
Not sure how old you are, but maybe The Transgender Teen: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Trans and Nonbinary Teens (https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749/)
To assuage curiosity, there's You're in the Wrong Bathroom: And Twenty Other Myths and Misconceptions About Trans People (https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Wrong-Bathroom-Misconceptions-Gender-Nonconforming/dp/0807033898/)
Big dad hug from me to you, son.
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.
Pick up a copy of : https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-Teen-Professionals-Supporting-Non-Binary/dp/1627781749/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=trans+teen&qid=1561089897&s=gateway&sr=8-1
It really helped our son! He started this life as Justine and now is Justin. He is starting on T and is considering top surgery once he's earned enough money for it. We were confused as hell about what agender meant and using they/them pronouns was kind of foreign to us. We messed up a lot of things at first and misgendered him a bunch because we had spent 17 years under a different impression.
You can only control yourself in this situation. I recommend take your time in coming out after you have established yourself independently (have your own place to live and means to live) so that when you come out you won't have a jarring experience of being kicked out. Find yourself an affirming counselor http://genderinfinity.org or .com over time to help you work through the difficult issues you face. Also, I really recommend realizing that your situation is messed up and that it is okay for things to NOT BE OKAY for a while. Be strong and be brave! There will be people who love you for who you are and you will find those people and can have a wonderful life with an affirming loving family that you chose.
From what you've said here, you are really obviously Trans. You're completely textbook. I honestly have no idea why you think you might be cis.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a girl. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a girl, but I'd rather be a guy" is dysphoria. "I wish I had dysphoria because then I could transition" is dysphoria. Cis girls would not rather be guys. They actively like being girls. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it. The point isn't that we're all miserable tortured souls who hate our bodies and want to die every time we're misgendered. If something different sounds like an improvement to you, that is a manifestation of dysphoria.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a guy or anything else. If you want to be seen as a guy, put yourself into social situations as a guy, whether online or offline. If you want to try binding, try binding (safely!). If you want to try packing, try packing. If you want to try wearing jeans from the men's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take T, take T. If you want to stop taking T later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on T later still, do that. Etc.
Therapy would do you a world of good. To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
Come chat in Yay for Queers too if you want. I think you'd like it there. It's mostly Transmasculine folks and questioning people. It's not a bustling hive of constant chatter, but if you talk, people will respond and be happy to chat with you. :)
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. (Never give or recommend anything you haven't read yourself!) There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Check out Camp Aranu'tiq. You'd love it.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (If you're 18+ by the time they're ready, have them join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), the Gender Odyssey conference, and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Gender Management Service clinic at Phoenix Children's Hospital, the Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you aren't near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a guy. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a guy, but I'd rather be a girl" is dysphoria. "I wish I had dysphoria because then I could transition" is dysphoria. Cis guys would not rather be girls. They actively like being guys. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it. The point isn't that we're all miserable tortured souls who hate our bodies and want to die every time we're misgendered. If something different sounds like an improvement to you, that is a manifestation of dysphoria.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a girl or anything else. If you want to be seen as a girl, put yourself into social situations as a girl, whether online or offline. If you want to try wearing jeans from the women's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take hormones, take hormones. If you want to stop taking hormones later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on hormones later still, do that. Etc.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. (Never give or recommend anything you haven't read yourself!) There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Check out Camp Aranu'tiq. You'd love it.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (If you're 18+ by the time they're ready, have them join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), the Gender Odyssey conference, and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Gender Management Service clinic at Phoenix Children's Hospital, the Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you aren't near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your dad. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your dad should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (Alternatively, have him join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for him there, even if he thinks he's already supportive. On Facebook, he can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, he can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look. Share both of those books with your brother and your parents.
How old is your brother?
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (Alternatively, have him join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they thinks they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
From what you've said here, you are really obviously Trans. I honestly have no idea why you think you might be cis.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a guy. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a guy, but I'd rather be a girl" is dysphoria. Cis guys would not rather be girls. They actively like being guys. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it. The point isn't that we're all miserable tortured souls who hate our bodies and want to die every time we're misgendered. If something different sounds like an improvement to you, that is a manifestation of dysphoria.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a girl or anything else. If you want to be seen as a girl, put yourself into social situations as a girl, whether online or offline. If you want to try wearing jeans from the women's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take hormones, take hormones. If you want to stop taking hormones later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on hormones later still, do that. Etc.
Therapy would do you a world of good. To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (Alternatively, have him join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they thinks they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
From what you've said here, you are clearly Trans. I honestly have no idea why you think you might be cis.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a guy. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a guy, but I'd rather be a girl" is dysphoria. Cis guys would not rather be girls. They actively like being guys. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it. The point isn't that we're all miserable tortured souls who hate our bodies and want to die every time we're misgendered. If something different sounds like an improvement to you, that is a manifestation of dysphoria.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a girl or anything else. If you want to be seen as a girl, put yourself into social situations as a girl, whether online or offline. If you want to try wearing jeans from the women's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take hormones, take hormones. If you want to stop taking hormones later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on hormones later still, do that. Etc.
Therapy would do you a world of good. To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (Alternatively, have him join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they thinks they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
It is extremely common for gender dysphoria and a Trans identity to first manifest in adolescence. 16 is young, not old. There is nothing remotely "later" about 16.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (Alternatively, have him join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they thinks they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Are you in Massachusetts? I can connect you with great local resources if so.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then share it with your son. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . Your son would love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
On Facebook, check out these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Hey man. This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Hi, I'm a Trans adult who transitioned as a teen, and now works with Trans youth.
See if there are groups for LGBTQ youth, and especially Trans and gender-questioning youth, in your area.
Lots of cis kids watch Jazz's show. They don't suddenly think they're Trans. They think she's cool or whatever, and they know full well that she's Trans and they're cis. Being aware that Trans people exist does not turn cis kids delusional and make them think they're Trans too. What's far more likely to "influence" Trans and gender-questioning kids are the messages coming at them at all times, from all directions, that cis genders and experiences are real and Trans genders and experiences - their genders and experiences - are fake, that they are deluded or hyperimpressionable or going through a phase or otherwise unable to know themselves, and that their lives will be happier if they repress their true selves in a desperate attempt to become cis. That is what's responsible for the appallingly high rate of suicidal ideation among Trans people. The suicide rate plummets to almost match the national average when you look at Trans people who feel supported and empowered.
Tell your kid flat-out that it's completely fine with you if they're Trans, binary or non-binary, and that you will support them no matter what. We have to actually explicitly say the words, or the message isn't clearly received. I'll never forget the wonderful PFLAG mom (join PFLAG, by the way, especially if your local chapter has a group for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids) who talked about her gay son coming out in his early 20s; he was terrified to tell his parents, which confused and upset them because they'd very consciously never said anything about being gay not being okay. His response was "But Mom, you never said that it was okay either."
Remember, too, that you have to walk your talk when you say you'll support them no matter what. Support for Trans youth matters. Support doesn't mean saying "I support you" and then not letting them wear the clothes they want to an upcoming family event, or not using their name and/or pronouns, or telling them they have to wait until they're 18 to pursue medical transition. That isn't support. If they don't feel supported, they're in the stat group of unsupported youth.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney is your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . Your kid would love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Run, don't walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for you there, even though you're already supportive. On Facebook, you can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
FYI, you'll get more responses and insight over on /r/ask_transgender and /r/mtf.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable or you hate your body or you can't stand the idea of living as a guy. For a lot of people it's a whole lot more subtle than that. "I wouldn't mind staying a guy, but I'd rather be a girl" is dysphoria. Cis guys would not rather be girls. They actively like being guys. They aren't just settling for it because they're stuck with it.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney is your new bible, seriously. Read it, then give it to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
You're not stalkable by giving out your home state. :P If you're not in the northeast (which means north of the Mason-Dixon line - Virginia isn't the northeast) or in/near a decent-sized city on the west coast, focus on those areas for college. If you're already in one of those areas, still focus on those areas for college, but don't stay close to home. Going to school away from your parents (far enough that weekend visits aren't feasible) will help enormously.
Look into local (or local-ish) resources for Trans and queer youth, too. You can make more connections and get more info and support without parental help/permission/knowledge than you probably think you can.
Have a resource dump, too. I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranuti'q.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (If you're over 18 by the time they're ready, have them join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ instead.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're supportive from the start. And it's as important for them to be talking to other parents of Trans kids as it is for you to be talking to other Trans people. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot. With or without parental support, they have a lot of good information for you.
To find a therapist who actually gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
You sound pretty Trans to me. Why do you think you might be cis?
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney is your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranuti'q.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. And it's as important for them to be talking to other parents of Trans kids as it is for you to be talking to other Trans people. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who actually gets Trans issues, see http://t-vox.org/medical and (in North America) http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North American and around the world.
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney will help.
Is she talking to other parents of Trans youth? If not, is she willing to?
To find a therapist who actually gets Trans issues, see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The book <em>The Transgender Teen</em> by Stephanie Brill and Lisa Kenney is your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called <em>Where's MY Book?</em> by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranuti'q.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. And it's as important for them to be talking to other parents of Trans kids as it is for you to be talking to other Trans people. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.