I can't speak for other forms of meditation, but mindfulness meditation can trigger people with a history of trauma. If you think that could be you, please stop and speak to a trauma-informed professional about it.
> Unbeknownst to many, mindfulness meditation can exacerbate symptoms of traumatic stress. Instructed to pay close, sustained attention to their inner-world, people struggling with trauma can experience flashbacks, dysregulation, or dissociation.
Meditation is a tool, it is also many types of meditations under one term. I have trauma from childhood and meditation actually used to create issues for me. Now it is effective but you gotta know what you are getting into. Mantra meditation like Transcendental can be helpful to get somewhere but it may not solve underlying causes of anxiety. On the other hand insight meditation like Vipassana/Shamata can bring up distress if you have trauma in your past. Cultivating equanimity will eventually free you from anxiety but it requires patience.
I heard very good things about this book for instance if you have to deal with issues from your past which is often a cause of anxiety
Just to add onto this -- if you're looking for more resources on how trauma, dissociation, and friends can play out in meditation practice, I'd recommend reading Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness.
Could you say a little bit more about what types of therapy you've been doing? How does your therapist recommend dealing with the disgust when it arises?
I've been doing working through some trauma in my practice and in therapy (Somatic experiencing, EMDR, and DBT). The DBT approach to stuff like this is interesting because it includes systematic efforts to antidote emotions by taking actions that are contrary to our immediate urges. You can check out the worksheet handout for this , which has opposite actions for disgust on page 5. So if you're experiencing disgust in situations where you know that it doesn't fit the facts of the situation and where acting on your disgust won't help you, they'd recommend doing the following:
> Opposite Actions for Disgust: Do the OPPOSITE of your disgusted action urges. For example: > > 1. MOVE CLOSE. Eat, drink, stand near, or embrace what you found disgusting > > 2. Be KIND to those you feel contempt for; step into the other person’s shoes. > > > All the Way Opposite Actions for Disgust: > > 3. IMAGINE UNDERSTANDING and empathy for the person you feel disgust or contempt for. Try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. Imagine really good reasons for how the other person is behaving or looking. > > 4. TAKE IN what feels repulsive. Be sensual (inhaling, looking at, touching, listening, tasting). > > 5. CHANGE YOUR POSTURE. Unclench hands with palms up and fingers relaxed (willing hands). Relax chest and stomach muscles. Unclench teeth. Relax facial muscles. Half-smile. > > 6. CHANGE YOUR BODY CHEMISTRY. For example, do paced breathing by breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly.
I'd recommend starting gradually and on easier stuff so you're not biting off more than you can chew. As you apply it more systematically it will really build your self confidence and self-trust. It can also really help to start verbally disclosing more of what you're feeling to people that you trust.
I've got less experience with disgust than with shame, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's an associated felt sense that there's some group of people who'd judge you for the thing you're disgusted by, and whose opinion you're powerless to change. Sometimes getting over shame seems to involve getting OK with the idea that you're willing to push back 100% against that imagined group, give them the metaphorical finger, and metaphorically leave for a place where you'll be treated well. Disclosing your feelings in a safe place can help with this, although there can be some cognitive dissonance from people accepting things about you that you can't yet accept about yourself.
You could also try to find a therapist who does EMDR to identify historical memories that you're disgusted by and reprocess them to remove some of the emotional charge. The somatic experiencing approach would probably categorize disgust as a shutdown state like shame, and would probably say that when you notice disgust you should intentionally redirect attention to neutral/supportive stimuli like your feet on the floor, your back on a chair, your hands touching each other, etc. So try to relax, notice the scenery around you, reconnect with the people near you, joke around, and take your time getting back to the question of what to do about the disgust. Dip into it just a little and find a way to systematically relax and reorient before dipping back in.
I'd say that in general when you're approaching practice with a trauma history, path and stage descriptions are going to not be the best roadmap to be using. Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness has a roadmap of increasing your "window of tolerance" where you're emotionally well-regulated. There's an interplay with meditation where better emotional regulation seems to make it easier to get to Equanimity, and where progress in insight (seeing sensations as just temporary sensations) itself promotes better emotional regulation. But forcing yourself to move too fast in either meditation or life can bring up an overwhelming amount of stuff, so sometimes you need to back off and give yourself time and space to process it more slowly. Metta's also good to work into your practice.
One final random thing -- can you find any comedy that's funny about either the things you find gross, or about how the process of disgust is itself funny? Sometimes exaggeration or absurdity or surprise can help us let go and find the humor in a situation. I've had some good results with this with social awkwardness, where stuff that I used to find cringe-inducing is now also pretty funny.
Good luck and we'd love to keep hearing how you're doing!
there is a book called trauma sensitive mindfulness that addresses this very issue
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
Thank you for taking the time to read this and it is true that not everything on this list is going to work well for everyone, this post is just a toolbox and people can pick what works for them.
The EMDR apps that I listed are for free, or they were last I checked. I use the phone app for cold baths combined with breathwork sometimes and this combo has helped. The desktop app I listed has a number of settings to adjust the EMDR experience. There isn't guided therapy/meditations that come with these apps but combining them with EMDR self therapy resources could be an option.
I have done a few physical boundary exercises as well, I've not heard of Youper though, I will look into this.
You are right about meditation, it does pose those risks for some people, as does mindfulness ironically. Mindfulness can be a double edge sword, Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness is a book that discusses this:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
I'm not promoting the book, but I've listened to the ebook and it is very enlightening.
I follow r/catsareassholes for my pet therapy needs, and you are right it is therapeutic.
Hi u/shuckerjuckel,
Sorry to hear you're facing a overwhelming emotional pain stress, and anxiety.
I'm a meditation teacher who was ordained and authorised to teach by Upasaka Culadasa, the author of "The Mind Illuminated." r/themindilluminated I also have a considerable history of trauma. Culadasa himself experienced extreme traumas growing up and he and I had many heart-to-heart conversations about it. He spoke about some of this. (Be aware that Culadasa committed sexual misconduct towards the end of his life. I invite you to separate his teachings from his personality and personal failings as there is absolute gold in what he taught.)
Our brains are very good at compartmentalising trauma... but not perfect. When we meditate with a good technique, we are effectively reversing that compartmentalisation process and unifying the mind. The challenge is that will bring up painful emotions, flashbacks, and even bodily sensations that can make meditation itself traumatising. Unfortunately many meditation practitioners and teachers are not trauma-informed. You will potentially get hot takes from ignorant people along the lines of "suck it up and keep sitting" that are completely ignorant of your context.
Please consider investigating Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness. David Treleaven is a pioneer in this field, but there are many others. You certainly don't need to work with David 1:1, but I do strongly recommend his book, Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing. I think reading this book is your next best move because it will help you learn to identify what practices will be of use, and what will be potentially harmful to you (as you are discovering now).
In particular, the Insight-oriented practices, like vipassana, will be pretty risky for you until are able to clear some of this trauma. Please consider avoiding intense meditation retreats like S. N. Goenka's vipassana ones (dhamma.org) or Mahasi-style noting, these are likely not very safe for you yet but will have plenty of space for you when you are ready.
If you can afford it, I suggest working with a trauma-informed meditation teacher. One of my teachers, Tucker Peck u/tuckerpeck and https://meditatewithtucker.com, is a clinical therapist and well-established teacher that I think very highly of. I also think very highly of Doug, Ali, and Darlene Tataryn, who are also authorised teachers in the Mind Illuminated tradition and have a very effective technique for working through trauma called the Bioemotive Framework.
It's true that can go off on your own and practice various techniques that people recommend to you, but if you can afford qualified assistance it will considerably ease and speed your path towards healing.
If you've had significant trauma—particularly during childhood—you may be experiencing something like C-PTSD. Pete Walker's books might be life-changing for you.
There is light at the end of this tunnel, though you may be in recovery for the rest of your life. Be patient with yourself. Trauma was a blessing in disguise for me as it lead me to a path that brought me a fundamental well-being that I don't think a lot of people get to experience in their lives. I am optimistic that you will find the same.
From the bottom of my heart, all the best to you.
Me too. My experience really distanced me away from the community (therapists, youtube videos) that celebrates mindfulness as a wonder tool. Mediation, relaxation exercises, even hot baths triggered panic attacks. I came to understand the body processes trauma in the 'rest and digest' phase, which explained why relaxation often triggered these attacks.
I don't want to take meditation away from anyone who benefits from it, but its too hasty a leap to see it work well for mild cases of depression/anxeity and then recommend it for PTSD. Fortunately, some are beginning to recognize that PTSD might contraindicate mindfulness. Dr David Treleaven, who developed Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness, has written a good book and put out some helpful videos to bring awareness to these issues.
I highly recommend this book for anyone teaching or learning mindfulness.
https://www.amazon.ca/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Safe-Healing/dp/0393709787
> meditation was forced on me during sessions even when I had a terrible reaction to it. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. It felt like torture and it seems to be a cornerstone of DBT.
About this, I might have an answer. Mindfulness meditation practiced without an awareness of trauma can exacerbate symptoms of traumatic stress . There's a book about it.
There's another two contextual behavioral therapy besides DBT. One it's called ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and its results are promising (1, 2, 3). Another is called FAP (Functional Analytic Psychotherapy) but I couldn't find good data about it (1, 2).
Moving on to alternatives therapies. I know one that focus on trauma calledSomatic Experiencing. There's no real data about it, but a lot of people claims it worked for them. So, why not?
You are right about hallucinogens. Plus, I know ayahuasca (DMT) is trending now but it is also dangerous. Kinda like "make it or break it" to your mind. BUT, MDMA looks really promising.
I hope you get better.
If you have trouble being honest in the moment, yes, write out a whole essay.
In addition to the incompetents and the crazies, there are good, capable therapists in the world. I know of one who's licensed in Florida and Colorado, if you happen to be in either of those places. She doesn't specialize in "problem clients" per-se but she is LGBTQ affirming and has a lot of trans clients.
Mindfulness based stuff (e.g. DBT) can be good or bad for people facing trauma - this book https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787 tries to tackle mindfulness from that angle. You might try some of the things in there; I've heard the latter half is very good.
Also second the advice to find a way off of the marijuanas. Creates anxiety long term, psychosis is gonna rather interfere with your ability to heal.
Also also, maybe try finding some kind of service role. If you're unemployed and not doing a lot, that can kind of fuck with your sense of self-worth and well being. Soup kitchens, habitat for humanity, whatever. These things rather help provide meaning in life.
Tips from someone who is both a survivor and a physician:
Thank you for caring enough to ask.
This might be helpful reading:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
Ah, that reminds me, here's another good book/website:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
this book seems good for that sort of thing: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
Haven't read it but heard good things. Good luck.
There are a lot of great ways to go. Someone else here linked to a book called <em>Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness</em> which I have not read yet but heard good things about.
I agree with u/electrons-streaming and to emphasize things that calm the nervous system like yoga. Pro tip: do yoga very slowly for even more calming effect, like do a super slow sun salutation. And coordinate your breathing with the movements.
Slow breathing (5 seconds in, 5 seconds out is a very well-researched rhythm that improves HRV, a measure of resilience to stress. 10 minutes is enough.
Metta is fantastic. It's a complete path, and really works on right attitude. Do whatever you need to get it to work, including silly things like watching cute animal videos. When we see cute animals most of us naturally feel friendliness or loving-kindness. Then learn to access this state and apply it to yourself and others. Seeing everything that arises in your mind as a "part" of you, placing it in front of you in imagination, and having that same friendliness towards this part of you (or even imagining hugging this part of you) can help "disembed" from the experience while also practicing metta.
If you like working with parts, a lot of people here also like Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). It's becoming quite popular, and there's at least one book for self-facilitating. I'm partial to a slightly different parts method called Core Transformation from Connirae Andreas. I consider Core Transformation like metta on steroids, and it was very helpful for me, but it's a bit complex. A lot of people here also like somatic psychotherapy.
If relaxation itself isn't triggering (for some people it is initially), doing just straight up progressive muscle relaxation stuff can be very helpful, as it trains the body to inhibit the sympathetic nervous system for a while and enter parasympathetic.
Meditation on the breath without changing it (with a very gentle attitude) can be good for calming the mind, although a lot of beginners have a hard time with the attitude and try to force too much. There are some good teachers who really emphasize gentleness with anapanasati though, it's just amazing how many people miss the gentleness, including me when I was starting.
I like tapping, especially this version. Works for about 85% of people. Start with something less intense, like a mild frustration. Think about the thing until you feel some of the feeling, rate the feeling 0-10 where 0 is calm and 10 is a full-blown panic attack or whatnot, then do the tapping sequence on both sides. Then think about the same thing, again rate 0-10, and usually it will be a point or two less at least. Continue until calm. If the intensity rises, it's usually due to thinking a different thought, which is great because you can also tap on that for a more complete solution.
Totally here is the book:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
And here is one of the studies:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.medicalnewstoday.com/amp/articles/325167
Hey there,
Have you been diagnosed as having experienced trauma? Or are you currently experiencing traumatic stress?
From what I've read so far that may be the case. If that's so then I'd really recommend approaching mindfulness / Buddhism (I assume you learned impermanence there) with resources/teachers that are trauma-informed. Mindfulness can aggravate traumatic stress and in some cases cause retraumatization. You can still benefit from it, but only if you do it through trauma informed resources/teachers. I'd recommend having a look at Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness by David Treleaven: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing
ptsd warning that this book is for professionals! that being said, I listened to it (at 1.5x speed) and skipped the triggering bits to get to the nifty solution steps. it also gave me language to use in the future to quickly identify when a mindfulness/meditation practice is not "working". so the link for the book https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787 and for his webpage https://davidtreleaven.com
and thanks for sending me back to his page because I just found out he is running a course in Australia! Im too far away financially to attend but I will add it to my wish list and cross my fingers.
As you get more skillful in meditation, more and more difficult emotions will start to arise with your sit. This is normal. Let them come, let them be, let them go. Never forget that you are now safe and simply meditating. If you can meet them with equanimity, they will eventually "pop" and you will feel a big load off of your shoulders.
If it becomes overwhelming, dial it back and do some metta practice. Heck, do metta anyway. Here's some free guided meditations I've recorded that you may enjoy on your choice of platform: Direct Download | SoundCloud | Insight Timer.
If its still too overwhelming, please seek professional help.
Check out the book "Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing" by David A. Treleaven. I've heard great things about it and like what I've read so far.
I'm a huge fan of r/TheMindIlluminated and a teacher-in-training in this tradition. I think this is one of the safer paths.
Consider avoiding Goenka or Mahasi-style retreats for a while. They can be brutal for folks who have a lot of trauma in their background and even lead to acute mental health crises.
When you get back home, consider looking for a meditation teacher and a sangha (community). They can provide you support when the going gets tough.
I'd try giving This book a read before proceeding with more meditation. But after, I'd sit and watch thoughts and emotions come and go. I'd do that until I realized that they are not me and could proceed through life more skilfully
With the PTSD you might benefit from reading this book about adapting meditation to working with trauma:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
And this book about how a woman healed herself of a ton of traumas, bipolar disorder and psychosis with meditation and qigong alone:
https://www.amazon.com/Possessing-Me-Healing-Jane-Alexander/dp/0983070903
Shinzen Young also has good stuff on dealing with particularly difficult emotions during meditation.
I think TMI is a great choice for someone with trauma. Largely because of its strong shamatha component. But adapting the meditation and what you do off cushion to work specifically on dealing with trauma might be a good idea. The mentioned resources are good for that.