I don't really have an easy answer for you. While my instinct on the cheating agrees with yours, I haven't dealt with it myself. We don't have a lot of rules, and the rules we do have are negotiated and agreed upon rather than imposed.
I have the advantage of a really really really challenging child who broke all my parenting strategies as a toddler. Figuring out how to manage him has been more or less a full time job for the last 10 years. But what this means is that I glutted myself on parenting books until I found what worked for me. I had begun reading about adolescence before his older brother got there. So it wasn't such a big shift for me when my first one hit that stage.
My favorite authors for understanding and interpreting this stage are Madeline Levine, Mike Riera, and Rosalind Wiseman. I think of these three Riera may have what you are looking for. He's very pragmatic. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1607743469?keywords=mike%20riera&qid=1450734667&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1