What is Reddit's opinion of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century?
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By popularity on Reddit, this product is:

#119 in Interpersonal Relations books

9 reviews of this product found across Reddit:

Recently got into the educated eroticism world. I love it. It’s a dance. I play people’s bodies like an instrument and we both get so much healing out of it. Very much a novice but there’s no way I’m ever going back to unskilled play. Check out this book along with the other ones mentioned in other comments https://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Sacred-Twenty-First-Century/dp/1587612909/ref=nodl_

Personally, I've found that good breathing slows down how quickly I finish by a lot. Slow, deep breaths are awesome. I got this technique from Urban Tantra. Added bonus: it intensifies my orgasms. I'm not really sure WHY it works, but it does. I will even focus on bringing the "energy" that is building up pre-orgasm through the rest of my body with my breathing.

Great idea! There's also a great sexual inventory in Barbara Carrellas' book Urban Tantra.

Her website has a lot of good resources, too: www.urbantantra.org

Tantric masturbation for men:

This will help you get started:

Tantric Masturbation

And this is something u/tantragirl wrote a few months ago with a lot more links to other resources, including how men can learn to be multi-orgasmic:

How to Get Orgasmic Energy to Rise During Solo Practice

Meditation techniques to take it to the next level:

How do I make tantra really powerful?

Gay Tantric sex:

I don't know why there is so little written about gay tantra, since tantric sex is quite popular with both gay and lesbian couples.

For some reason gay men in Britain seem more organized about tantric activities, so that might be a place to go for more info. I have two contacts I can share:

Jason's contact information is:

Tantra4GayMen

E-mail:

Skype: jason_tantra4gaymen

Twitter: jason_tantra | Facebook:

Gary O'Brian runs a regular tantra newsletter for gay men in Britain. You can contact him at:

And here's a U.S. resource if you happen to be in LA:

Ashram West, A Gay-Friendly Spiritual Community, 2070 Lyric Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90039. Founded in 1997 - cool!

(Two of these links – Tantra4GayMen and Ashram West – are also in the sidebar for this sub, in case you need to find them later.)

On the lesbian side, these two posts are somewhat relevant:

Also, this is the book that introduced a lot of LGBTQ+ people to tantric sex:

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, by Barbara Carrellas

If anyone has more info or sources to recommend, please add them!

Addendum: If you hear someone claim that tantra is impossible for same-sex couples, or anything like that, you are actually hearing from people who have adopted homophobic Taoist teachings about "energy" (qi, chi) and the weird modern interpretation of it as something like electricity, with positive and negative poles that correspond to sex. That's not tantra, but a lot of people are confused and think it is.

Anyway, as a point of empirical fact, the sexual polarity stuff is just not true. Whatever their reasons for thinking that tantric sex should only work for straight couples, the reality is that it works fine for people of all genders and orientations.

If you're looking for a tantric massage, paid or unpaid, please use our monthly R4R post. If you have a partner and you're looking for ideas on how to get started, these are good places to begin:

> Can you point to any sources that you found helpful in learning what tantra actually is?

Disclaimer: When I talk about tantra, what I actually mean is that part of tantra that I find useful. Tantra actually IS, to a degree, mumbo-jumbo, esotericism, asceticism. After all, there is no central authority to define it "properly", and there is an ancient hindu core to it.

So... Phew. Looking through all my links, I have to say... actually, no. Almost everything I found was mumbo-jumbo. Carellas' "Urban Tantra" was quite okay, and has a lot of nice exercises. It has all the chakra stuff too of course...

Here's what I did: I sifted through the religious and esoteric stuff. I tried to extract what seemed like practical exercises. I practiced that. Somewhere along the way, I attended a weekend course that didn't seem all too eso (it ended up being, well, quite nice, but not a lot more than that).

I can link you to my own blog, which obviously expresses my opinions (over time). But, frankly, I doubt I ever managed to express concisely what tantra really means to me, because the blog is more an account of a journey than a factual report. I did a write up of What tantra IS back in '11, but I don't think I really hit the point.

So let me give it a try now:

If you strip away the "spiritual" side, tantra is a set of methods to gain more harmony between your body and mind, and in order to do that, it primarily focuses on nourishing and channeling your sexual energy.

I think tantra simply is not that much to talk about.

There's a level of purely physical technicalities - breathing, muscle clenching, delaying orgasm - and there are a few subtleties to those techniques which probably need some time to grasp.

There is a level of "feeling the energy rise and directing it", which is an actual psychophysical experience and just a very, very, VERY nice feeling.

There is a level of becoming ever more aware of your own body, and what happens inside it, without judgment.

There is meditation, in the straight up zen sense of "just sit and focus on your breath".

There is the idea of giving up orgasm as a necessary goal to every sexual act. The idea is to accept what happens now, and "ride the wave", rather than work towards a set goal. This can then be generalized and applied to all areas of life.

There is, ultimately, inner peace, which I believe comes simply from experiencing good feelings without any external sources. If I'm not mistaken, this can then translate into becoming somewhat more relaxed, somewhat more friendly, and in general more effective in the world.

Edit: wording, typos

I can't answer the sex therapist question. But here's somethings you might consider trying.

Tantra - A book about it that I've heard recommended many times is Urban Tantra. And here's the author's web site.

Key Sound Multiple Orgasms (KSMO) This is a method that I'm aware of because a number of men from the Aneros forum who are on their Aneros prostate massage journey end up mixing in this technique to help them along. You might consider contacting them and describing your problem to see if he thinks his approach would be helpful for you. You can also browse but not post their forum as a non-member to see what people talk about there.

If the experience of women discovering the pleasure and orgasmic potential of their G-spot is anything like it is for men discovering the pleasure and orgasmic potential of their prostate, which is considered the male equivalent of the G-spot...

Then for some of you women, it will take a lot of time and practice of stimulating that area while aroused and relaxed to awaken the area to pleasurable sensations that eventually lead into orgasmic sensations.

As a male that has been participating and reading the Aneros forums for many years now, and practicing my own prostate massage journey for even longer, it's been observed that most men take anywhere from a few months to a year to figure out their orgasmic potential from prostate massage. The few outside of that bell curve, either figure it out very quickly, or take much longer. And it is extremely common that new users will feel little to no sensation. So it wouldn't surprise me at all if women had quite similar experiences in trying to discover their G-spot potential. Some few lucky ones are just naturally orgasmic right from the start or shortly thereafter, and others take longer, or much longer to figure it out.

If you feel dedicated and really want to experience the heights of orgasmic bliss your body can produce... Then keep practicing at it. If you look at any online book store, there is tons of books for women about learning to experience G-spot orgasms. I don't have any specific ones to recommend. But I'm sure you can find a good one through reading the user reviews about it. So that could one way to approach educating yourself. And perhaps try adding in some other techniques to help you along. For example:

Kegel exercises for stronger pelvic muscles: See the r/sex WIKI link to the right. Also there are lots of sex toys and devices that can help women achieve stronger pelvic muscles. Aneros EVI, any ben-wa type balls whether traditional or modern variations, resistance devices like Gyneflex, insert-able dildo like devices to practice gripping/squeezing.

Tantra: Check out the book Urban Tantra

Tao: Check out the book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman

Key Sound Multiple Orgasms (KSMO)

Yes there is. But please keep in mind that achieving this is rarely quick or easy for most men.

872 already mentioned the Tao method from The Multi-Orgasmic Man. Other ways I know of...

Prostate massage: You can do this solo via Aneros prostate massager's, have your partner massager it with their finger or with a toy operated by their hand, or get pegged by your partner. http://www.aneros.com http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Aneros_Basics http://www.reddit.com/r/Pegging/ http://peggingparadise.com/blog/2011/06/new-to-pegging/

Tantra: I've heard the book Urban Tantra mentioned as a good read for westerners. A unisex approach.

Key Sound Multiple Orgasms (KSMO) A meditative approach that uses chanting of a very specific sound to achieve multiple orgasms. Also a unisex approach. http://www.multiples.com/

There is also some males here on reddit that have claimed to achieve male multiple orgasms just through exercising their PC muscles. http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/16i64x/the_multiple_orgasm_guide_for_men/