I love love love these fans. I have 2 black ones and one white one. All for the bedrooms and all are basically silent. I can hear the air moving because it's really powerful but no whirring or ticking. I'm like you. It drives me NUTS.
Westinghouse 7801665 Comet 52-Inch Matte Black Indoor Ceiling Fan, Light Kit with Frosted Glass https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00067YOJ0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_1EXGCbCW7F68R
Edit: spelling
Ah, the trim does look cool in that house. Depends on your style, but based on the link, here are a few that might could be cool:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/567955851/globe-lights-black-brass-chandelier (not sure if this one would fit in the room, but I think it looks very modern/sleek)
https://www.etsy.com/listing/704705444/barn-metal-18-light-rustic-chandelier
https://www.etsy.com/listing/784497790/classic-glass-ball-branch-chandelier (I would do it in black)
Or you could just replace with another more updated ceiling fan. I have this one in my living room:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00067YOJ0?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
late reply, but, I'm concerned that it wouldn't work on something like https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00067YOJ0 because of the cover?
Mostly concerned about there not being enough room, Lifx bulbs are huge.