Agree! My family had the classic children's book <em>Where Did I Come From?</em> around the house when I was a kid, which I think was good.
But my parents were very late in talking to me about puberty stuff. When I was 12 or 13 in the 1990s, I clearly remember them sheepishly handing me some cringeworthy book with literal 70s teenagers in flares rollerskating on the cover. I already knew so much by then so the book was never opened.
What is your take on the common approach in Lithuania (and I assume most post soviet countries)?
When I was a kid, among my many educational books was this gem, translated. I don't remember getting it, that's how young I was. And I don't know any kid who didn't see it before they came to school (age 7). While I did learn the sexy side of sex in school and thanks to the internet, and sex ed that came when we were like 11-12 (condoms and that stuff), most of us came to school knowing where babies come from and how genitals work in the same tone as we knew what a nose is for.
All the sex talk and puberty stuff was always giggly and a bit red-faceing to talk about with parents, but it was never about how it works, more how it relates to my life. Could never relate to all the US media having comedy about the "when a man and a woman" joke line. Kids knew what sex was before they knew who Santa was, and that didn't seem weird to anyone.
You mean like Where Did I Come From?, which is a hugely popular book in America for explaining sex to young children? Spoiler: It contains penises!
I guess my parents -and millions of others- were sex criminals in your view.
I'm so sorry that happened to you and your friends. My daughters were raised in an open information household. Their favorite book before they could read themselves was, "Where Did I Come From?" (https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539).
My parents got us a book about where babies come from. We also had a computer program called A.D.A.M. that taught basic anatomy and some physiology via a scrapbook. The pregnancy expansion was called Nine Month Miracle and went through the development from gametes to baby. It still took me an embarrassingly long time to make the connection between babies and sex. As we got older my parents would answer any questions we had, regardless of how awkward it was.
I also found my mom’s romance novels around age 12 and got into fanfiction about that time as well, so there’s that, lol
Did your parents ever get the cartoon book "Where did I come from" to teach you about the birds and the bees? I remember the book didn't shy away from uncomfortable topics and it made sex and anatomy easy for little kids to swallow. I remember there was a part in the book about breasts, who gets them, and what they're for (feeding babies).
The other tips here are great! This book might help with any extra curiosities that your little one might have.
ETA: here is a link to the book I'm talking about. You can find it anywhere, not just amazon.
This will explain to you what they were thinking
Well, it will explain what at least one of them was thinking, anyways.
When me and my brothers were little, my parents read me the book "Where did I come from?" by Peter Mayle. My dad would read it to us like any other story, and show us the illustrations. He never made a big deal out of it, made it just like any other story only about our bodies.
This answered a LOT of questions about human reproduction that I didn't quite know that I had. A lot of kids my age were completely clueless, comparatively speaking. It had such an effect on me, even 30 years later I remember the name of the book and recommend it to everyone who needs it.
That book is Where Did I Come From? My mother (a single mom) gave me that book on a two-hour car trip, and made me read it out loud. That was my "talk," and nearly the grand total of sexual discussion with my mother in the 30ish years since.
"Where Did I Come From" by Peter Mayle. An illustrated children's book about human sexuality. Published January 1, 1973.
https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539/
Where Did I Come From?: An Illustrated Childrens Book on Human Sexuality https://www.amazon.com/dp/0818402539/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MHH1ANH2GDX1JR5CAK39
I buy them this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539
There's a book for that.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539
Of all the pictures, I only might consider the 1st as more explicit than the others, especially considering other movies/songs/social media shared even between children today (on top of remembering finding my parent's issues of Playboy or Hustler that they spent a lot of time trying to hide). Even reviews for thids book say it is inappropriate for children, though I will fully admit that it had an impact on me, but definitely not as being pornographic and helped me understand some things in some ways. https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=54eac45d-7222-411d-b9a1-94f6d9322095
Though all of this to say it reminds me of my own mom in the early 80's being very worried about sexual assault that I was not even in kindergarten looking at this book and discussing what was "good touching" and not.
Was my mom the pedophile/groomer teaching me about sex in an age appropriate way (in some ways) that the school didn't that was still lacking in so many ways until learning a more comprehensive sexual education curriculum in high school that went way beyond "assume God is sitting on your bed while you are having sex watching, so only do what you would feel comfortable with Him seeing..."
Hearing my mom's feelings about God watching you having sex made a big impact and the book even more as far as "grooming" and knowing what is "good vs. bad" touching where school setting was pretty basic/no emotional influence to feel sex and puberty was shameful (consensual or not) even though kids will always see such things a "doodie/duty" as grown adults to chuckle at...
Old school books that parents showed to their children 30+ years ago were pretty explicit as well and I, for one, took that into consideration when I had my own children in deciding how to balance age appropriate with more wisdom than I may have known/understood to avoid pitfalls I did growing up related to sexuality (at a minimum).
Sorry for rambling and potentially not making any sense whatsoever...
The panic lately reminds me of my youth, including how my mom hated the band AC/DC for BOTH the Satanic symbolism AND how she reiterated multiple times that at that time, being bisexual was sometimes being called AC/DC (going both ways), as well as the friends she lost due to AIDS in an industry that was very friendly to queer people (customer service/airline). It was (and still is) a point where my upbringing would be both progressive AND regressive. Lol
There are some books that help, for a range of age groups. It can help to let kids absorb info at their own pace and curiosity. I have the first on the shelf for when my soon-to-be five-year-old expresses interest.
where did i come from?: an illustrated childrens book on human sexuality https://www.amazon.com/dp/0818402539/
"What's Happening To Me?": The Classic Illustrated Children's Book on Puberty https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A4ANV4W/
"Will I like it?": Your first sexual experience, what to expect, what to avoid, and how both of you can get the most out of it https://www.amazon.com/dp/0894740059/
I had these as a kid/teen. I remember a mix of reading with a parent (early on) and mostly reading on my own later. The first is geared toward younger kids who have questions about where children come from. The second is for kids before they got puberty and focuses on the changes to thier body and emotions as they become adults. The third is for late teens young adults as they near having sex; the illustrations are abandoned for photographs.
Obviously, read them first to see if they are right for your family. They are not a replacement for frank discussions with your kids, but they're a good way to get an awkward conversation going. And it's nice to have a resource when you're a kid who desperately has questions but desperately doesn't want to talk to your parents about them. A written source also covers the unknown unknowns; the questions you didn't think to ask.
Anything is better than what they'll get from their friends or the internet.
> The problem with your position is that the bill you're referencing doesn't provide a way for teachers to acknowledge the reality children live in.
That's not their place, their job, nor their specialty. Also, we're referring to a fraction of a percent of children.
How do you think children will respond to these types of ideas when they're not sexual at all. Children are programmed to trust adults, the idea that people don't treat communication with them as a very serious thing is horrible. It is the most sacred of relationships. Do no harm first.
>To say that a teacher must pretend that LGBTQ people simply do not exist has nothing to do with sexual education.
Some adult's sexual preferences has no place in children's education. There is no magic, not discussing some strangers life doesn't create magic spell where they don't exist, this stuff is absurd.
> please explain how it was possible for you, as a child, to know that there were boys, men, girls, and women without knowing anything about the mechanics of sex.
My parent's gave me where did I come from when I was 5. That's all I needed.
https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539
Sex isn't rocket science, there is no need for all of these resources to explain it to children and parents can easily get this for their kids.
> It's that preventing teachers from acknowledging the existence of gays, lesbians, and trans is ludicrous
Those strangers and their lives have exactly nothing to do with kids being educated.
I mean Jesus Christ, you don't matter, some gay dude doesn't matter except to the people in his life. This is embarrassing narcissism writ large. People need to grow the F up.
>Teaching children to pretend not to see that which is right in front of them
If adult sexual themes are right in front of children it's an infringement of the NAP. And there nothing that makes me want to respond more with extreme prejudice than abusing kids physically or mentally.
Again, leave the kids alone.
>Can you understand my point at all?
Adults' points/issues are irrelevant to children's development.
I got a cartoon book that is great for starting the topic. "Where did I come from?" https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539 It works for any age and is basic, but gives you all the info to begin the topic.
I guess I was lucky.
I had THIS BOOK as a child.
The more that I stay in this sub the more that I realize I wasn't as Mormon as I thought I was growing up.
A friend gave me some great advice about answering touchy questions from kids: Answer only the question that the child actually asked, and answer it as simply as possible. Apply the same rule to their follow-up questions. Stop when they stop. Parents often make the mistake of answering way more than a young child can comprehend. There's a temptation to think that kids need big explanations, but they don't. Lots of little conversations are better than one big conversation.
I've made a point of having sex information books in the house. Where Did I Come From? is a cartoon book good for pretty much any age. What's Happening To Me? is about puberty is for slightly older kids, maybe 10-ish. The Care & Keeping of You is specifically for girls and is a bit more detailed. And finally, Drawn to Sex is a fairly explicit cartoon style book about sex and relationships. I know my daughter read the first two. I remember overhearing (from another room) her and some cousins reading together, laughing, and saying "gross". As for the last couple, she knows where they are and I haven't pressured her.
I just remember discovering The Joy of Sex when I was 12 or 14. My family was sleeping over at some friends' house, and they put me in a den with bookshelves. Oh my goodness. I just ordered it.
Finally, here is an absolutely amazing video about talking about sex with your children.
Where Did I Come From?: An Illustrated Childrens Book on Human Sexuality https://www.amazon.com/dp/0818402539/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ZTWWA7MYRAMEVDXGWX3G
I got this when i was little.
Well, in a fair bit of EU, or at least in my side of it this book is a common household name.
I had it I think when I was around 6, read with parents. It explains the whole thing on a just right kind of level to just know about it. After that kids can ask shit, which is a damn lot more natural than the talk.
I also got a sexology encyclopedia (well, I didn't, my parents had it on a shelf, I just grabbed it one day) ~9 I believe and just went through it, right in front of my parents in the room like it was any other book. And the thing is... it was just any other book. Simply because sex was never made a taboo topic, I just learned about that stuff like I learned how flowers pollinate from a school biology book.
Seems like that approach is a bit less awkward on every side :)
> Reddit's minimum user age is 13, so on Reddit "family friendly" de facto refers to over-13s.
I’d like to see that documented somewhere. I disagree with the premise. So you are telling me that if /r/SesameStreet puts “family friendly content” in their rules, you would interpret that to say that their content is for teens?
> If anyone is sharing Reddit content with under-13s then that's a failure of that person, not of the rules of any particular subreddit.
This assumes your defiition of “family friendly,” above. I strongly disagree with that assumption. What you are describing is “parental guidance suggested,” not “family friendly.”
Think of theaters, for example: Very few 8 year olds these days stroll into a theater unaccompanied, but a ticket, and watch a movie. It may have happened in the old comic strip Peanuts, but hardly ever today, not in most cineplexes.
The assumption in most theaters is that the content for small kids will be consumed with an adult present. However, the content label (“G” for family friendly) pretty strongly shows that there will not be discussions of rape in a given movie.
Under your definition, there would be discussions of rape, but you’d say “Well, the parent should’ve known. After all, little kids don’t just go to movies unaccompanied.” (in other words, Reddit isn’t designed for unaccompanied under 13s)
You are presuming that parents don’t look at “family friendly” and rightly think:
“Oh! Reddit is a ‘13+’ site, but it’s nice to see there are some areas where I can trust to see some family content. I’ll just start this video up while I prepare a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich for junior. What could go wrong?” <dips into kitchen to make sammie’s made into the shape of little hearts, and grab a juice box>
A minute later, from the next room:
“Mommy?! What’s ‘rape’?”
Frankly, if this subreddit wanted to convey “Material suitable for ages 13 and up” they could say precisely that. But instead, they said “family friendly” and as I’ve said, unless you think every family begins by adopting a teenager, that isn’t what the term means.
Although families sometimes begin by adopting a teenager ... usually, it start with a mommy and a daddy loving one another very much, and then giving one another a special hug. I’m being a bit cheeky there; but I’m quite serious in that “13+” means 13+, and “family friendly” means families, which decidedly do not limit to age 13 (again, except in the rare case of teen adoptions).
On a separate note: Notice in the rule that such content is supposed to get an NSFW tag (this video didn’t get one). So ... I’m not sure if you’ll next argue that this video shouldn’t get an NSFW tag, because videos discussing rape are routine at ordinary workplaces, so rapey vids are ‘boss approved’? Or maybe ‘workers are assumed to be 13’ so they should’ve known better? I’m totally confused as to how you’ll explain that this vid didn’t deserve such a tag, but I am intrigued and await your response.
We also will answer any questions. I highly recommend getting Where did I come from. It's a really good book that explains everything & is for kids.
Oh god. Gave me a short book called "where did i come from" to read. I proceeded to hide in my room for a half hour dying from embarrassment
EDIT: Found the book
I highly recommend this: http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_2 book. It addresses life and death for kids. My parents read it to me when I was little. Loved it.
This book was read to my kindergarten class (5yrs old) back in 1984.
I'll be reading this book to my daughters as they each turn 5.
Worked for me.
I don't remember having that, but I did have this.
As a wee lad, my grandma gave me some similar books (in English of course) that were very enlightening:
> she doesn't know how she got knocked up.
Oh! I know this one! My mom and dad just told me about this. Gave me a book and everything.
I remembered the title wrong. It was actually Where Did I Come From.