I recommend you read this book
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Couples-Fight-Step-Step/dp/0806540443/ref=nodl_
You may claim you don’t want an affair, but in some ways you are having an emotional affair right now. You need to determine what you want and be honest with yourself. Do not cheat on your husband or it will cause great deals of pain for everyone involved. Choose the marriage or don’t, but if you don’t then take the time as an adult to end it correctly.