I’ve posted here before that I think the best discussion on risks/benefits of dating for widowers is in this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Widower-Surviving-Your-Important-Relationship/dp/1732115915
Outside of that analysis you’re the only one who will know when it’s the right time. Your desire for intimate physical touch is very common among us widowers. The question for all of us is will the touch of another woman satisfy the longing for the touch of our lost love. Trying to replace that, comparison, these are all dead ends.
That doesn’t mean we can’t love and be loved. In fact we may be better able to open up to true love than one who hasn’t lived through the kind of loss we have.
In dating you risk being hurt or hurting someone you do not intend to. All things to consider.
I think you have two different trains of thought going on at the same time here and both are perfectly understandable for a man in your situation.
The first is your dilemma involving your relationships with your late wife’s family. From my chair it sounds as if continuing to keep your door open to them and occasionally reaching out while allowing them time and space to process their grief in their own way may be your most reasonable course of action.
As for the second dilemma - is it too soon to date? - you’ve sort of asked the question after the horse is out of the barn, to borrow a figure of speech. But the best advice I’ve found for men on the risks and possible benefits of this decision is in a book by Fred Colby:
https://www.amazon.com/Widower-Surviving-Your-Important-Relationship/dp/1732115915