Happy early birthday! I'm sorry it's not going so well. I have a lot of mental illness issues too.
It's not a hobby but this ring would make me happy. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07TYVJZ21/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_FvmfFbG1WC2SV I have a lot of boundary issues from my PTSD and "I am enough" is something I have to remind myself all the time. I have it posted all over in my boundaries worksheets from my therapist. But I like the motivational jewelry because it comes with me everywhere.
If you ever want to talk, or vent or just need some advice, my inbox is open. I have a lot of experience with mental illness and I know a lot of coping skills. Feel free to reach out!