What is Reddit's opinion of You Are Not Your Pain: Using Mindfulness to Relieve Pain, Reduce Stress, and Restore Well-Being---An Eight-Week Program?

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I'd like to recommend this book to you. No affiliation.

https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Your-Pain-Well-Being-ebook/dp/B00LDRAS8S

Have you heard of Viktor Frankl? He's a psychiatrist who survived the holocaust in Auschwitz and he says that to survive (well) you need to find your individual meaning in your suffering. This could be anything. In your case - if you think that ME/CFS hit you totally randomly and recovery is random and won't happen and you feel like you have nothing to live for, then the suffering of anyone in that situation is absolute. There is no meaning in it and nothing worth waiting or living for. No one could live like that.

There are many CFS sufferers who have found meaning in life in various ways. Some people join self help groups and feel they are needed there. Some people comment online and find meaning in helping out newcomers or other members who are struggling. Some CFS sufferers feel like they know now why they got sick and find some silver lining in it. Some CFS sufferers are sure they will recover or find meaning in trying to recover. Some CFS sufferers want to live on for their pets or kids or spouses.

The important thing is so find some meaning. Any meaning.

If you can't shed the mindset that nothing makes sense and that you have lost everything that is worth living for, then you are bound to have hell.

I have read about so many people who were rock bottom either with depression or chronic pain or hell, like Viktor Frankl (surviving holocaust in concentration camps) Byron Katie (surviving depression and alcoholism), Vidyamala Burch (surviving severe chronic pain and a shattered spine). Also others who survived their alcoholism or suicide attempts. They all survived, found a meaning and got well and wrote a book or then went to spread a message.

There are thousands who never managed to find a meaning and get relief, that's for sure.

But if you want the endless and absolute suffering to stop you will have to find a meaning for yourself. Either a meaning in your illness or a meaning in staying alive.

This could range from: "This life is a test which I need to pass." to "I want to help others remain sane" to "I think I got sick, because I was overwhelming myself emtionally, mentally, physically for 15 years and finally my body broke down and now I want to un-break it." to a thousand other potential meanings that someone could possibly find to be true for their individual case.

I will share what is the case for me:

I believe I got sick because I overwhelmed by body and soul and mind for too long a time. It wasn't my fault, because I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing it. And finally my body gave in. Meanwhile I have found that I had severe childhood trauma. And I started trauma therapy. Doesn't mean that that will cure my CFS, but I want to resolve the trauma. That is why I want to stay alive.

I also find meaning in writing with people online about life and chronic illness. It gives me a sense of being useful and seen.

Now I surely don't think this is the answer for everyone. But it is my individual meaning I have found and which makes life with CFS for me not only bearable, but even ok.

I am much better now, but at my lowest was bed bound / couch bound and for sure didn't have much objectively to live for.

Other people will find other meanings. It is the most personal thing on earth.

If you can not find a meaning for yourself, then before you decide to end your life, I would suggest to read Vidyamala Burch's book. Learn the method and then if you still want to die after you learn this, you will be able to do it mindfully. And that is worth so much more than one might think after reading this post.

I used to feel helpless in the beginning when I didn't know what was going on. But I have come a long way since then and feel much better now.

For me the key was to focus on recovery and not get lost in hopeless thoughts of suffering and how bad everything is. It's a bottomless pit.

When I was focusing solely on what I have lost, I felt desperate and wanted to cry. But then at some stage I discovered the gratitude concept and focusing on hope and noticing what is going well has fully changed my life.

Today I am ever so grateful that I do not have severe chronic pain (as others do) and that I am not fully bedridden (as others are) and that I can go to the bathroom by myself anytime I need or want to go. Not everyone can do that.

I am grateful that my bladder still works, that I don't have kidney failure, that I don't need dialysis. That I can chew and eat food by myself. That my hands and arms function at my will still.

If I call these things to mind (and I do that on a daily basis while writing a journal and keeping a diary to daily jot down things I am grateful for), then all desperation completely disappears. It has really turned my life around many years ago.

I know that not everyone wants to focus on gratitude or can find gratitude in them at this stage and I know that grieving comes first. But wherever you are on your journey, it can get better again!

There are plenty of recovery stories on Youtube that can give people inspiration in how to go about this.

One way to start feeling better is by looking at the pain and symptoms mindfully and stop resisting them, because that's a sure highway to suffering with no end in sight. Going mindfully about this encompasses pacing (and not trying to push through).

If someone enjoys reading and wants to gain a new perspective on their life and suffering and they haven't tried the mindful concept yet, I can really recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/-/de/dp/B00LDRAS8S/ref=sr_1_2?__mk_de_DE=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91&keywords=vidyamala+burch&qid=1636133447&s=digital-text&sr=1-2 by authors who suffered themselves after accidents and injuries. It might not be for everyone, but I am posting it anyway in case someone is interested in trying this approach and needs a recommendation to get started.