the two things that'll help the most are
yes there is a book i recommend:
https://www.amazon.com/You-Need-Budget-Paycheck-Paycheck-ebook/dp/B071Y2XSFN
YOU NEED A BUDGET
i can't stress how life changing it was to start budgeting actively. started in 2013 and it removed so much stress. now in a marriage its the central planning point for us and keeps our goals aligned
You Need a Budget by Jesse Mecham.
Having the money needed to pay bills is what's important. If you want to perpetually keep some money in a mysterious "assigned but not really assigned" category to cover random things, you are free to do so, of course, and that may be helpful for you psychologically in some way, but I am just explaining that this is not the YNAB way. You have one foot in the traditional "budgeting" world (Dave Ramsey and the like) and one foot in YNAB and trying to reconcile the systems (no pun intended). It's better to have one foot in than none, but it will be confusing if you try to speak in both languages.
I can see why it might be uncomfortable to "raid" other categories to cover a random expense, but this is actually an important part of the process. Determining which categories need to have their money moved ("raiding" is too coercive - they are your dollar employees, after all) to cover other things is an exercise in prioritization - which is arguably the most important thing YNAB offers. Do I pull from clothes or from entertainment? From the electric bill in a week or from insurance in two weeks? Having to actually make this decision - instead of leaving money essentially unassigned just in case of this random thing - forces you to choose. It forces you to weigh your planned expenditures. It forces you to calculate "Tangible thing 1" or "Tangible thing 2." The problem with emergency funds and all the like - aside from the "there are no emergencies, only unplanned expenses" argument I made above, is that emergency funds are only collections of currency units (dollars, euros, etc.) and currency units are abstract numéraires. They are just "numbers." They don't represent anything "real" yet. This is the beauty of a zero-based budgeting system. It forces you to weigh Tangible vs Tangible. Instead of "weighing $300 from EF or pay medical bill" (Abstract vs Tangible), in YNAB, you would have to pull from a funded category like daycare or a vacation fun (Tangible vs Tangible). This improves your financial decision making because now you are reckoning in terms your brain understands better. Despite being modern humans, money and economic calculation are still extremely new to us as a species. We do better thinking in tangible goods.
I promise you that once you start to use the software according to the YNAB philosophy (detailed in the book, the podcast, or in the videos [Hannah, Nick True]), you will use it more effectively and your financial decision making will improve. This exercise in prioritization - while perhaps painful at the beginning - is one of the many, many hidden gems of insight found in the system. Check out the resources (especially the book, IMO) and see if they click with you. Again, you are free to use YNAB however you want (some people even use it for forecasting future income by plugging in future paychecks - which is obviously heretical to the YNAB philosophy), but there are benefits to those who follow the system. 🙂
There are some blog posts, https://www.youneedabudget.com/want-to-teach-your-kids-about-money/
a chapter in the book (check your local library)
https://www.amazon.com/You-Need-Budget-Paycheck-Paycheck-ebook/dp/B071Y2XSFN/
also this guy was on Jesse's podcast
https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Spoiled-Raising-Grounded-Generous/dp/0062247026
There is a chapter in You need a Budget
Jesse also recommended The Opposite of Spoiled
How about the YNAB book? https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Need-Budget-Paycheck-Paycheck-ebook/dp/B071Y2XSFN
Check out /r/ynab. The book doesn't quite meet your criteria, but I use the YNAB software and it's totally changed our lives and my mum's.
Deal link: Amazon
>You Need A Budget
It's currently free on Amazon with an audiobook trial kind of thing.
https://www.amazon.ca/You-Need-Budget-Paycheck-Paycheck-ebook/dp/B071Y2XSFN