I'm saying that if we didn't watch porn I think it would be fine, but since we've hot wired them together it's not a good idea and seldom have I seen in myself or others any success without giving up both. Porn is a Sin, masturbation alone is not.
Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson would be a good resource for learning about the science and the plethora of experiences behind these claims
You need to readYour Brain on Porn.
Read it for him. But read it all before talking to him.
He'll need your compassion.
He's already swimming in a sea of self-loathing for his lack of self-control over his addiction. Especially saying he probably can't even admit to himself it IS an addiction.
Read that book. It will help you understand SO much more and maybe give you a path forward.
If you really want to be done with it then at this very second, the instant you read this sentence, delete your collection. You feel that resistance? Thats the lowest version of yourself trying to pull you underwater and keep you there. Face him right now, if not you're just on here procrastinating what you know you need to do and eventually will have to do.
The thing about addiction is they are 80% mindset and 20% biology. Being successful in life is having mastery over the biological drives that will test you until you die. You've cranked the knob to 11 on your dopamine and reward system which is going to hijack your thoughts for a little bit until you get this handled because the knob is going to go to 0. Sex used to be a reward for being a man that women were attracted to, now your fooling yourself that you're this badass that mates with multiple women a day for doing nothing.
I used to be exactly the same in my early 20's. No Fap as well as reading this book really solved the issue entirely for me. If you need some accountability let me know dude. You got this, stop being a wiener (literally lol) and face your dark side, its the most liberating feeling in the world.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
I implore you to read “Your Brain On Porn” by Gary Wilson. I don’t have the time or energy to list off a ton of sources and studies and research, but this book is very solid and backed up by credible research. Much more credible than those Vice or HuffPost articles where the writer tries to rationalize their own porn addiction. Remember when the tobacco industry was trying to convince everyone that tobacco was perfectly healthy? That’s exactly what’s going on today. Let’s hope we don’t wait decades to decide to do something about porn like we did with cigarettes.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Abstaining from it. It was the hardest thing i've ever quit. And I still haven't been successful to cut it completely from my life (I still watch like 3-4 times per month).
My addiction was so bad that I always had this brain "fog" that made it impossible to me to think clearly, and I don't remember 90% of my teenage years. Only bits and pieces :(.
It was the best decision i've ever made though. The benefits are countless: much more energy, more motivation, more excitement, better memory, better sex life, getting happy with small things in life and generally more positive outlook on the world and people around, etc.
If you have the time, please read this book "Your Brain On Porn". It goes into the details of porn addiction and how it affects your brain. It's scientific (not religious or something).
It really makes me sad how many people are addicted to it, especially young kids that start watching it from like 10 years old.
This. Porn is one of the most addictive substances in the world. Tell him to read Porn on the brain
if you keep doing nofap all PMO induced sexual dysfunctions will eventually fade. it may, however, take several months to a year.
check out gary wilson’s book “your brain on porn”. it will answer your questions.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW/ref=nodl_
I’m in.
Doing hard mode because I have to.
I’m aiming for 30 days but if all is well, I’m going to shoot for 90 days.
Life is beginning to have color and meaning again. My Lexapro is starting to finally do its job. And I don’t fantasize about killing myself as often. My meditation practice is progressing nicely. I’ve started reading a lot of different books that interest me. One of the books I’m reading is your brain on porn. For anyone seriously trying to quit porn, this book is a must. The knowledge I gained is making this streak much easier.
Awesome man, I really hope you do check it out when you're able to :) Here's the link to the book on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525108760&sr=8-1&keywords=your+brain+on+porn
I get that, when I'm living in addiction I feel numb and crap, but the pain of the withdrawal can be worse. That feeling of relief when you wake up one day though and the withdrawal is gone after a good long streak is incredible. Sure, your brain might give you more withdrawal down the line but the general trend is that the withdrawals get weaker and less often, and you become more yourself until eventually you're in control and no longer bogged down! Best of wishes <3
Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson is a great read if you are looking to get some scientific background on the changes that occur in the brain with this addiction, especially a developing brain. Also, it adds a lot of personal experience accounts as well. I am about a little more than halfway through it currently and it is definitely a worthwhile read.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Awesome. This maybe the psychological aspect of the porn addiction. I am reading Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction book which traces physiological causes and mostly focuses on the relationship between The Internet porn and human brain. Hope you find it interesting.
I definitely see your point of view as I'm in a similar boat. Overall, I'm generally where I want to be in life; living in a major city, doing a job that genuinely interests me, and surrounded by lovely people. The reason I'm quitting porn is that I don't have a girlfriend due to constantly achieving virtual sexual release, plus I agree with UberTacoMan; it's just not natural. I think it's generally a bad habit, and I'm definitely improving as a person for giving it up.
As Gary Wilson said in Your Brain On Porn, it doesn't hurt to try abstinence. In the grand scheme of things, do you really have anything to lose?
I read somewhere that feeling detached from yourself could be a withdrawal sign or something like that. I'm just a guy on the internet though so take that with grain of salt.
Go to sleep earlier and fill your mind with some good content like Jim Rohn or something. Try nofap, but be patient and enjoy every second that you haven't fapped -this isn't something you can rush and rushing will make it much harder
I also suggest you read this book when you know what's going on it's a lot easy to deal with. It's only 5 for the digital version easy read.
This I guess : http://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
There is nothing you an really do about the kid apart from educate him. It's his choice to view porn or not when he is older but at least show him this subreddit and stuff on the sidebar here. (youbrainonporn, rebootnation etc)
Yes, the supernormal stimuli concept is very helpful. Link didn't work. If you mean Barrett's book by that name, I thought it did a very smug (and poor) job with respect to porn. This book does a better job vis a vis porn: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
It helped a lot for me to understand the psychology behind pornography addictions. Your brain literally reacts the same way it would with hard drugs. It rewires itself to need more of "it." It produces more dopamine in the brain (the itch) more than the serotonin (the satisfaction) can rightly deal with. Your brain makes habits and triggers and there is so much on the psychology of addiction that I can't cover in a single message.
I would recommend this book if you want to read more about it: <strong>https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW</strong>
Don't give up hope and don't stop fighting the itch, the more you fight it, the more your brain remembers how to fight it.
There was a book called "Your Brain on Porn" that used some experiences from /nofap, I believe.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
https://www.amazon.in/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Your Brain on Porn
Book by Gary Wilson
Step 1: Ignore idiots on the internet!
Step 2: Go read something that's not written by 14 year old keyboard idiot.
​
Places to Start:
Yes, it's confusing if you only read what different idiots say on the internet. How to tell if the idiot saying the right thing, or the idiot saying the wrong thing is right????
So, stop paying attention to idiots, and GO LEARN SOMETHING.
I know this is 3 years old but I'mma explain what this whole futanari explosion thing was about.
LGBT are probably way more hornier than straight people. During COVID and monkeypox break out you know damn well they'll be the first to catch both.
Propaganda isn't just in your advertisement and main stream media. It's in your porn media too. And that's why a lot of kids either decide they are the wrong gender or they have adults coach kids into thier sick fantasy because of this mental virus.
I'm gonna quit porn for good. Here have some books
Clean of heart: overcoming habitual sins against purity https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1507617518/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Don't ask for tips. Go educate yourself.
This is the way. YOU must understand the terrain of addiction and your brain and the psychology.
Little tidbits like this might give you microdoses of "yeah, I sorta know what that's about," but you need to go and read and learn what the fuck is going on in your brain and physiology.
Your Brain on Porn is obviously a popular one and a good place to start.
Dopamine Nation will also kick your ass a little, make you feel warm and fuzzy, and help you understand where you stand.
But, get busy become a fucking expert on this, or get busy wasting the next decade of your life. What would you prefer?
It was chasing up all the footnotes in Your Brain on Porn that I found this. Very worth reading if you haven't yet.
You're not going to listen to some rando's advice here to quit your job or change careers.
But you can learn what the effects are of what you're doing.
Read Your Brain on Porn, with an open mind.
Read Dopamine Nation, and see how you relate to the other addicts of things as mundane as marijuana or erotica... but just see what you think.
Try The Brain That Changes Itself and see if you identify with the ways the human mind is constantly rewiring itself.
Just educate yourself, and then choose the path your heart, body, mind, finances, and soul feel drawn towards. But - put the quality information in to make a decision that will guide you well.
First of all, sexual thoughts ESPECIALLY as a teenage boy are normal. They feel different because well before you were prepubescent child - so yeah, not only is this new, but you're in the hyper-charged phase of it.
That said, early porn exposure does have neuroplastic effects on the brain's reward centers and sexual behavior. FosB for enzymes involved in all kinds of addictive behaviors show up in porn users and it explains why you become so sensitized to triggers associated with porn - like seeing a girl and then BAM you're thinking BOOBIES!
Consider visiting /r/nofap, and checking out the book Your Brain on Porn to see if that sounds like you. If you just want to be smarter about abusing dopamine and healing your sexual normalcy if you really think you're "not normal" read Dopamine Nation.
And please be aware, this is an addiction were talking about. Remember him of this and maybe watch together this movie https://justwatch.com/us/movie/thanks-for-sharing.
I'm reading this book (https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW?dplnkId=ee1069ac-12a1-45e4-b918-1d5f55b1cf37), and it has been great for me to understand my addiction and how to deal with it.
One part of being addicted is that we might fall and how we treat ourselves when we do is as important as managing to stay out of it. Forgiving yourself is as important as receiving mercy from the other person and support to keep it going.
Treat this with the seriousness it requires and work it through therapy together. It will hurt and will get messy before it gets better, but trust me, it is very rewarding not get out of this mindset.
Sixteen days is great!
I'm with you. It DOES still get hard at times. Whether you get lonely, or you get anxious, or you get stressed... the temptation can still be there.
Those moments are the best reminders, the best cue to tell you what you need to work on.
Because those moments are telling you that you've lost touch with the reason that's propelling you do do this.
Repeat after me: This CANNOT be a game of resistance!
Build your brain. Build you mind. Read books that remind you how much this is limiting you. Read books that remind you how much better life could be with more self-control, more focus, more of an ability to enjoy the little things in life and pursue the big-grand things.
Read Your Brain on Porn
Read Dopamine Nation
Read Willpower
You'll be on FIRE with commitment, with the beliefs that THIS PATH is what matters to you.
Then you can come back and share what you learn with everybody else here. Remind us. Lift us up.
This is the way.
Brace yourself.
You are DOING IT WRONG.
Yes, resistance is necessary sometimes.
But resistance wears out.
Your brain will work TIRELESSLY towards what appears more valuable.
Short term wins are magnified. Long term discounted.
That's how it is.
You must reinforce in yourself all the things you WANT that this path enables.
Feed your mind. Build your brain.
Read Your Brain on Porn.
Read Dopamine Nation.
Read The Power of Habit.
YOU have to become an expert on addictions, recovery, and the psychology of becoming better. Nobody else can do it for you.
But you must SEE that place you want to get to, believe in it, understand it, want it, DESIRE IT, or else you will lose the game of resistance.
To believe in the benefits of where you're going, what you want, the confidence, ease, focus, lack of shame, you have to educate yourself until that knowledge and belief glows like tattoos you've engraved in your bones.
Then quitting won't be hard anymore.
Because you'll WANT one path more than the other and you'll no longer be like a beachgoer trying to stand in the ocean and hold a wave of impulses back. The wave will be the thing carrying towards what you care about.
Wishes don't count.
Whims don't count.
Kinda sorta would be nice IF - doesn't count.
Read more.
Start coloring one of these brain-healing progress charts day by day.
Hell, do one that you color each morning you start a fresh day, and the other when you FINISH a day clean.
This is the way.
This community is good for that - community.
But you need to take this burden onto your shoulders. Educate yourself. Become a fucking expert in addiction, psychology, and habits.
Know WHY you're doing this because you believe in all the science and knowledge you've accumulated.
Nobody achieves a goal they don't believe in.
Read Your Brain on Porn.
Read Dopamine Nation.
Read The Power of Habit.
You fix this over months by becoming more than you are now.
You're on the path. But now it's time to move forward.
This is the way.
One of you, or both of you, need to read Your Brain on Porn.
Sometimes it's very technical, but finally you'll understand.
Consider reading Dopamine Nation together as it covers a much broader array of issues than just boys/porn.
But, his problems are most likely due to his compulsion.
And you're an angel for working with him.
How much do you really understand this topic?
I don't have a silver bullet for you. Yeah, cold showers help.
But, have you read Your Brain on Porn?
How about Dopamine Nation?
And The Power of Habit?
You're in the middle of an addiction loop. It sucks. But "hacks" aren't going to get you out. You need a clear goal. You need a clear understanding. You need a clear drive towards WHAT you're moving towards.
Build your brain. Build your understanding of the benefits. Push yourself to learn more.
Little by little keep building your strength and commitment.
Try the little brain coloring maps people do on here. DO EVERYTHING that moves you forward.
This is the way.
Read Your Brain On Porn so you can get a sense of the science (and other's journeys) of how much porn can impact your reward system, your motivation, and your relationships and ED.
As just a tiny example, go look at the difference in the size of the dopamine neuron in the second link in this post. You DO NOT want shrunken dopamine neurons.
Progress is progress.
Remember your WHY. Remember the positives you're striving towards. Don't make it all resistance.
Continuously build your mind with books and things like this that remind you how much better things will be as you move forward on your journey.
You must feel PULLED towards the good behavior, not just squeezing-tight against the bad.
Have you read Your Brain on Porn?
Start educating yourself.
We don't have all the answers for you.
Nobody beats a monster like this without becoming a warrior.
And the weapons you have are understanding the psychology behind these addictions and the tools others use to overcome them.
Some books you must start with:
If you want to take control of your life, you need to start building yourself. Start with understanding these habits and compulsions and the way out.
Then keep building. You'll gain power along the way and it'll get easier.
But. You. Must. Start.
Porn is absolutely terrible. Years ago, I (a man) extracted it from my life once and for all. I hate the damage it already inflicted. I hate the images that remain in my mind. But my life is immeasurably better without it.
I'm sorry for the rejection you're feeling. There are so many resources out there decrying the harms of porn. I would encourage you to tactfully, yet firmly, bring them to your husband's attention.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Good luck to you! Also, please know your voice is important. Personal accounts like yours are helping wake the world to how painful and destructive these addictions can become.
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Tell him to read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Your brain on porn book. https://www.amazon.com.au/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
No problem my friend. I just gave someone else this advice right after I read your post (see below). Some of these things might be a good factor into your plan:
And if you need more advice, or whatever, don't hesitate to message me. I'm a married guy too, so I know a little about that as well, and how porn addiction can affect your spouse.
Really nice work my friend! For anyone who simply wants to quit NoFap for the lifestyle benefits, i think this post will suffice. However, it is rather simplistic once you've read scientific literature relating to NoFap. In a very broad nutshell, i suppose we can boil it down to learning discipline, but I'd still say there's a little more to it.
From a Biological perspective:
When we decide to watch porn and masturbate to it, we flood our pre-frontal context (part of the brain that's responsible for higher order thinking) with chemicals that make us feel good. Now because pornography gives us such a large hit, our brain stores these chemical for the next porn session. The brain then holds off on releasing these chemical during regular day-to-day activities that would normally utilize them (such as social interaction etc).
Abstaining from porn resets this dynamic and begins to release these chemicals throughout the day, which is what gives people that added enjoyment in their life along with extra energy.
Alcoholism is a little different, that plays with different chemicals.
I've very much over simplified this, just because I'm a little strapped for time and going into detail will be a much longer paragraph with more terms to define.
Feel free to DM me if you're interested, i'll be more than happy to answer any questions or go into detail.
Source:
Gary Wilson - Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/
University degree in Psychology (4 years), personally studying porn's effect on the brain (6 years)
Gary Wilson’s Book on the subject—Your Brain on Porn
16 US States have already declared it a public health crisis
Some neuroscientists have argued that it’s worse than any street drug — Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist and advisor to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality echoed Layden's concern about the internet and the somatic effects of pornography. "Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance," Satinover said. "That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect."
Thank you. I got a sample of the book.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Here’s the amazon link OP
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
I have this book and it’s a real good read.
I can give you the book's Amazon page if you want.
I highly recommend to anyone struggle this book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Your+Brain+on+Porn&qid=1600305164&sr=8-1
this kind of thing is common. please read gary wilson's book Your Brain on Porn.
It will help you understand what is happening to you.
yes this is common. check out gary wilson's book Your Brain on Porn
Precisely. When you say no enough times, the "kid" gives up. The kid cant go drive down to the store and pay for the candy if he has no money and no way to get there. Be the parent and "say no" by blocking websites, or any other means of accessing pornography. Once you do that it really becomes a lot easier, believe me. I struggled with this for years and once I did that (and had my relationship on the line) it became way easier (still difficult at times) to overcome my porn addiction. But now on a daily basis those urges are mostly gone and I don't really think about pornography that much at all. Usually I only ever have it in my mind if it is brought up in conversation or something reminds me of it. It becomes easier if you don't give up. Also what you said about it just being principle; that's up to you to figure out yourself. There has been research regarding addiction and specifically pornography addiction that shows change in brain matter content. It does physically change you and how you think. Quitting porn will change it is well. Something I recommend watching if you're interested in this topic further is a Ted Talk with Gary Wilson. I bought his book Your Brain on Porn after watching it and there are great things in there as well. It gets better. After enough time you won't think about it anymore. I recommend this Chrome extension.
Rather donate to charity after a long streak since donating is something you should only do when you feel good, not after a relapse.
I suggest you put your money towards something more specific to your cause and that may give you an actual return.
Book examples https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Software: http://www.covenanteyes.com/services
Relax. You'll find a balance.
This book should help: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
You might want to read Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson: https://www.amazon.de/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
An in-depth analysis of the reward circuit highjacked by porn use.
You might like this book too: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
This book has tons of stories from here: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
This book is good too: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
"Your Brain on Porn" http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Why does nothing make you happy? If you exist in the same realm as I do then you are subject to physics and that means there is a reason for everything. Except gravity, fuck gravity.
You are the person with the most complete view of yourself and you are best suited to figure out why you are not at full capacity. The challenge is doing so from within the depths of wretchedness. You have many resources.
We exist in a time surrounded by constant super stimulus. Super stimulus is an exaggerated version of a natural reward. Reddit provides constant arousal and novelty. High calorie foods, video games, porn. You consume them and your brain, wired by millions of years of survival instinct, thinks it has hit the jackpot. Quick, eat all this food its amazing hurry. Fast, ejaculate lots to get all of these women pregnant. The reward center in the brain is unprepared to deal with this.
This is a radical period of time to live in and we are slowly realizing the effects our technologies are having on people. Porn, food, internet, video game addictions are real and the projected numbers of people affected are terrifying. It's scoffed at on a website like this. Reddit is really the epitome of an internet addiction. 0 effort constant novel images, articles. High shock value news! You must understand the way your brain interprets these things. You as a whole know what porn is. What a clickbait thumbnail is. But your reward center in your brain has no clue. It's just a stimulus.
That, and the sleep apnea probably contribute to most of your apathy. The importance of a change of mindset can not be understated. But there are often real causes that led you to a depressed mindset. Actually that's most of the time. Changing mindset without fixing them is like stitching up a wound without removing the debris. But perhaps it's necessary. I wouldn't have been in any shape to find out what was wrong with me if I wasn't able to keep my chin up despite my ailments. In fact, I might be dead.
Every recent generation has been challenged in this way. We invent things and we can't see the results until a generation too late. Close to half of all Americans used to smoke. Just because something seems normal and large numbers of people do it doesn't make it harmless. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with the internet or porn or video games. This is not a moral standpoint. I love video games. If I had it my way I'd not be typing this comment right now I'd be playing path of exile to the end of time. And that is the problem. Do you see how insane that statement is and yet it is a feeling that came direct from my brain?
I am unintelligent and not very charismatic and I only get one comment with you, if you even read this far. So I implore you to read one book. It is specialized in porn addiction but has sections on general addiction and continuously explains how all addictions are similar. It will take two days at the most to read and it will definitely let you rule in/out if this is a problem you have.
Amazon link
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Pirated ebook version
http://libgen.io/book/index.php?md5=67A8938920A41776BB4B9411D51AA1A8
If I am completely off base and it's nothing like this, then on to the next thing man. Reread the second paragraph, nobody can fix you like you. You just have to become better suited to figuring out what is wrong. And you do that by reading and experimenting.