Something go nuclear at your place? Or is it just upgrade season?
[](/flutterfear)Not too much going down. Watching the news like a hawk for this Microsoft/Nook thing. Seems like it could be very bad, but not unexpected, news. Still, it's not too late to jump ship and return it, but maybe I'll just wait and see what happens.
> I had faith that she could change. I was wrong. She can and will not change.
So did I, two years ago. But time shown me wrong.
Ponies taught me pessimism is misleading, and only positivity lead one's to the path of becoming better each day.
You worth more than burning yourself out of hatred and anger.
>Do you know what a Bigot is? Google it.
Like what I thought.
>I have since learned that you CAN NOT compromise with someone who is close minded and/or a bigot.
No act of good will is noticed ?
>Before That Day.
What day ?
>She knows.
She refuses to believe it's true. Time will prove her wrong.
You don't have to engage in this fight.
>She claims she is doing what is best for us.
Hahaha. What best ? What she is actually doing ?
>But, to me.
That pain …
You'll bear it until you'll find a way to forgive her and yourself for what happened. Until that day, please listen to me.
I was once burdened with such pain. And I know you'll go nowhere angry.
Anger is like a fire. It burns you from the inside.
>But, Its a fucking struggle just to go on day after day like this.
A struggle you'll learn to deal with in time.
With patience.
>Lying about it just to avoid another fucking argument so I dont get fucking depressed again.
Hide it to her. I don't understand. You really need to share that with her ?
Ironically, it could be a solution. But I'm not sure to know how bat you're hurt. And that's my main worry in this discussion. Your emotional well being.
>I dont think she would fucking care anyway.
Why she wouldn't ? I think she'll just be angry about.
Maybe I'm wrong but I think you can deal with your angry mother.
> I have no energy at the end of the day
Okay, then plan B: take half an hour in the morning, before work, as painting time. Go to sleep and wake up half an hour earlier, if necessary.
> The perfectionism, close friend to that suffering censor demon, revels in how practice is never worth it because it looks like crap, which means everything always will.
You're not making a finished product here. You're experimenting. You're having fun on canvas (or however you want to make art). You're creating something that no-one else will ever see, so it doesn't matter how terrible it looks. You're doing this as practice, so that in a few years' time you'll be able to do great art, so it's okay if it looks horrible.
...does that help?
> In case any of you are wondering, I've read a little of The Artist's Way, and the personification of "the censor" was something I found rather useful.
I'm not an artist myself, but I have been told by a reasonably good artist that "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" is a great book for artists...
sigh [](/facehoof) It really disappoints me that a solution that might actually help you is becoming unattractive to you because of the way these therapists are shoving it down your throat.
As someone who has studied and attempted meditation (with various degrees of success) for much of my life, I can say that you're not wrong to be frustrated with both meditation as a solution, and your therapists for not being helpful. Eastern meditation is becoming something of a fad in psychological circles, which I actually support, but it's fairly useless to just tell people to do it without any other useful guidance... Meditation can help with a variety of mental problems, but it requires continuous practice to really benefit, and a teacher or guide who really has experience with it is also really important.
Your own insight is actually something I'd recommend you do:
> If those things worked for me I could do them with youtube videos and books and I wouldn't need a real life therapist.
Well, why not look into YouTube videos and books? And yes, as much as I harp on people getting professional help for mental health issues, like any doctor, therapists can vary in quality.
I might recommend this book to you, it's a very good meditation guide for beginners:
<em>Mindfulness in Plain English</em>
Just remember that feeling frustrated with meditation and feeling like it isn't doing you any good is a common experience, you're not alone. You need to understand why meditation helps, and how to do it properly and with what attitude - a therapist simply insisting that you do it is not good enough.
Would you be a good piano player if someone just told you play the piano repeatedly? No. The same is true of meditation. It's an art, a skill that needs proper technique and regular practice to be effective.
That is cool. I having studied some economics and programming myself (mostly python). Next your I am gonna be studying programming and math all year long at university. I am guess you have heard of the Khan Academy, but if you haven't it is a must see site.
I am the sort that always has to start with the beginning of a series. Best night ever is a good episode to start with. The first episode is such an introduction though.
So what are your life goals? Career, personal, ect. ect.
> I still have it and have anxiety over it.
I got rid of anxiety with Neurolinguistic programing.
Powerful to get rid of crippling fear and anxiety. It helps nicely on the PTSD, too.
>is with a bit of help from a professional.
Ugh. Okay. It's not like there were no help available for free in my country.
>Recognize, Reorganize, and Individualize
Haha. I should have made the link.
Hi !
Look :
I'm a brony (Duh. =D ) : I love ponies, but I won't talk about them all day. If asked I'm glad to. Nothing more to say : you know all the crap about Love and Tolerance and the Magic of Friendship, I guess.
I'm a nerd : I enjoy memes and whatever mindfucky the Internet culture has to offer, I love math and chess, but haven't wrote any calculus for years, read no actual books cover to cover neither. You can call me a not-so-nerd nerd, and you would be right.
I'm a young man : I wonder about my professional future, I make plans, but I'm still impatient to the point I think they never be real. I fear both success and failure. Nothing really fancy there.
I'm an MBTI enthusiast : I make personal research about this thing that looks like an horoscope for hipsters for more than a year now. It really helped me. I can type people by myself whenever I want, now.
I'm a discordian : My not-so-religious-religion. For the joke I love telling I was a discordian before knowing about Discordianism, as it's technically true : I just putted a name on values and ideas that were already part of me.
And I think I'm sensible enough about feminine struggle in western society to call myself a feminist.
Two questions for you then :
Who am I ?
I'm clearly not a textbook feminist, as I said "sensitive to". If I were a woman, it would be a daily reality to me. But I'm a man.
So am I worthy to call myself a feminist ? Do I need to be bitter to be worthy ?
That's true. I've never really thought about the red & grey combination, but it certainly looks very interesting.
And that's amazing! Any motive behind doing it? Remember to check out /r/german, and Duolingo if you haven't already, it's a very popular language learning website, with a decent app; I used it a bit though the last I looked at it, it seemed to lack some of the explanations the website gave.
Hey, I have this problem too (last year I dropped out of uni because of it). There are some little tricks that help me:
1) Planning and making little rules about how you spend your time. You can make yourself some sort of schedule if you haven't already. If you don't like strict schedules you can at least think about what takes most of your time. Let's say, you like watching cartoons instead of learning. Then you make yourself a rule that you can watch on episode after you learn for some reasonable amount of time. So you don't prohibit yourself watching cartoons (you will not last long if you do), but make them a reward for doing good stuff. Speaking of the rewards, you can try use Habitica, it can be a fun way to motivate you.
But, in the same time, don't be to religious with your scheduling, if you skip a day it is not the end of the world, just try to not make it a habit.
2) Write down your accomplishments in a diary. Even the small one. If you understood something you did not before, write it in your diary. Did your homework? Write about it too. And so on. Why? Because when you feel like you lost a lot of time or that you stuck and did not progress in something, you can look at the diary and drive away this feeling.
3) Thoughts that you are bad at something or not skilled at something are bad. They scare you, and you can become afraid to begin that thing until they pile up so you wouldn't be able to complete them for real. And these thoughts are really hard to fight with. Try to be stubborn and do not listen to these thoughts. Do what you need and don't give up after the first failure. You would not lose anything if you try. Also, try to be engaged in something all the time. When you not doing anything, your mind can return to this kind of thoughts and it is bad.
I think it would help if you learned how to properly converse with people. It could maybe be difficult since you'll need to do that with high schoolers but you should try it.
There are more you could try reading. I would also recommend observing people's conversations as well to know how to go about them in practice. It's simple small-talk they engage in and just a chain of respond-and-speak.
As for how to start them. You sort of have to "break-in" to social circles and such. I would recommend just talking with people who have similar situations and after-school acitivites as you.
Two books for you to read. "Art and Fear" is great for dealing with all of the fears all artists suffer through. "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" is the best drawing induction book ever, it helps you shift into the artistic mode of thinking, and teaches you how to draw based on that.
It really sounds like you're having to deal with a lot.
Don't know if it's something that's come up before, but I'd suggest looking into mindfulness meditation. It's derived from religious meditation traditions, but doesn't require any kooky nonsense if you don't want it. You can get a proper introduction from Mindfulness in Plain English, but I'll give my own short version.
Sit somewhere and be relaxed and alert. Pay attention to your breath. Try not to think, but notice when you have thoughts and bring your attention back to your breath. Notice how your body feels, but don't try to do anything about how it feels. Sit there for a few minutes. Maybe just a couple at first.
You have trouble focusing. To some extent everyone does, but you have it worse. This is practise at focusing. Everyone finds it hard, and you'll find it harder. So don't feel bad if you have trouble. Just practise.