You might find this book helpful. But, in short, you have to trust in God's grace instead of your works for salvation. I know it hard at times.
https://www.amazon.com/Can-Christianity-Cure-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1587432064
Very relatable! Even down to how my mom would do the "figure out what you did wrong and why I'm angry" passive aggressive pouting thing sometimes. That was SO frustrating and distressing!
And oh, yes, every social faux pas I made was burned into my brain, for endless reliving and self-recrimination.
I can only conclude that this, too, has to do with our brains, and with the trauma of conflict (and trauma can shape the brain). It sets up a repeating pattern until we start learning new ideas and coping skills. And definitely it can affect our image of God and our relationship with Him.
One thing that greatly helped me was an exercise of imagining Jesus with me back in those past situations, helping me reframe them in my mind, knowing that He felt my pain and that He would help me heal the past so that the future would be better. This is the book that I got that from: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Lifes-Hurts-Memories-Forgiveness/dp/0809120593
You could always try attending a Catholic Mass, that way you don't have to talk to anyone and you'll have that experience to add to your considerations. There are some good books out there about the Mass, I've heard "A Biblical Walk Through the Mass" by theologian Edward Sri is very good. So you can do a bit of your own exploring of Catholicism without having to worry about biased answers. Just make sure to pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you and keep your heart open.
Have you had your cortisol and testosterone checked? You might need to lower the former and raise the later. If you're a woman, lowering the former is still a good idea. Ashwaganda can help.
As to more tangible things, try reading Surprised by the voice of God by Jacke Deere. https://www.amazon.com/Surprised-Voice-God-Jack-Deere/dp/0310225582 <--not an affiliate link, just the first amazon result. It can help you with prayer.
I just recently read the Book Scruples and the Saints. I found this book a bit helpful especially when they spoke about what constitutes as a sin.
Just bought on Amazon. It’s independently published, so Amazon is your best bet.
Extending My Exposure: A Collection of Short Poems https://www.amazon.com/dp/1080856145/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_eLqaFbGXHJSMP
You can check out this book by J Ciarrochi https://www.amazon.com/Doubting-Disease-Scrupulosity-Compulsions-Integration/dp/0809135531
There is a catholic priest who helps people with scrupulosity though I am not sure if he is alive anymore - he used to work at Loyola I think. The Vatican has a lot of experience dealing with scrupulosity and has resources to deal with it. I would advise to not let differences in denominations get in the way of help.
I am no longer a christian but I dealt with scrupulosity a long time ago. A problem here is that everyone believes that they are an expert when they are interpreting scripture and therefore your confusion. The Catholique church had less of an issue with this because back then people didn't read much and the leadership is/was centralized.
This isn't the case with the protestant movement which is a bit more fragmented. In any case, you'll never get to the bottom of 'what does this line in the Bible mean?' with so many inputs and OCD.
Treatment for scrup is no different from other OCD subjects. Sometimes the therapist will get the priest or pastor to encourage and reassure the patient to do the ERP exercises. There was once a young orthodox jewish patient who had OCD and tried to follow all the Mitzvoh in the Pentateuch and basically didn't eat and had to be fed by a tube down his nose. This, despite the chief rabbi in the US giving him permission to eat normally.
Basically, you'll need to understand that the thoughts are OCD and not religious though they 'appear' to be true spiritual concerns.