I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet but thank you for everything that you do. We regulate our emotions better when we have a partner who supports us. You may have saved his life. I know my husband saved mine.
I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my husband. He is the first person to truly show me what unconditional love is. For the very first time, I felt what family truly is. I didn't need to become anyone else or to fulfill some kind of expectation or role to be seen and heard. It made me so happy to finally experience it — but also agonised when I realised other people feel that from their parents from the moment they knew them. The realisation that I grew up lonely, parenting myself as a child which led to my disorder was life-changing, but also disturbing.
Here is the book that helped me piece together why my attachment style was preoccupied and fearful (this is the usual for pwBPD): Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_T30VVCGTBCNXZCECJJSF