An unexpected problem can often cause a person with ADD/ADHD to lock up, have a lot of anxiety, or begin thinking too hard to think clearly enough to solve the problem. In my opinion, the best way to counter that is to break your design up into smaller and smaller portions.
You may or may not have an idea that you already want to try with open frameworks, but you should start by defining clearly what you want to accomplish, then try to determine exactly what steps you will take to get there. You are less likely to encounter an unexpected problem if you know exactly what you are going to do as you go along.
For example, if you want to create some kind of animation, start by describing in visual terms what the animation will look like: the color, shapes, sizes, and movements of the things you want to animate. Then begin to implement each one of those things slowly. First get the shape to show up on screen followed by sizes, colors, and movements. Knowing where you plan on going helps prevent you from getting lost along the way.
You might also just need help getting started with C++ and open frameworks. Try the links in the side bar and the OpenFrameworks site, especially the tutorials. You might also want some inspiration as you go.
Theoretically, once the code starts running, the difference in speed between C++ and Java should not be that big, with the exception of trigonometric functions, which for cross-platform compatibility reasons, are really slow in Java. However, code that draws to the screen, is normally faster in C++ since there is less overhead (wrappers, native bindings, etc). What kind of computations are you doing? Maybe I can help a bit to speed them up.
If you want to try C++, you should also look at openFrameworks. From what I understand, it uses a subset of C++ more familiar to people who come from java/processing. Cinder is awesome, but uses a lot of modern C++ formalisms which can be a little intimidating to a C++ beginner.
You might want to start with some simple programs using Processing, which is what the Interactive Arts students at my university used. The learning curve is a lot less steep for Processing than for C++. There are many tutorials and resources on the web for Processing, so you can start making simple but awesome looking stuff pretty quickly. Also the Processing syntax is similar to Java, with which you have experience.
If the studio mentioned they use a lot of C++ and they are doing stuff with video/tracking/projection it sounds like they might be using openFrameworks, which is a C++ toolkit specifically created for use in interactive projects.
I have never used either of these technologies, but I have done quite a bit of work in interactive design/arts - as the EE guy - building the electronics for various installations. But those are the software tools that the artists/designers I worked with were using.
It's kind of hard to tell, I guess that largely depends on you. I'd recommend a very strong understanding of object oriented design, and it's hard to tell if you're going to get that from this program. I don't see mention of a data structures class, for example, which I think sorta puts you at a disadvantage. Taking a DS class in C++ is when you really start to firm up your understanding on use of objects... but then, in the "real world" you're pretty unlikely to ever write your own data structures as those are largely written for you in libraries (STL, java.util.Collections, etc). But, you're stilling getting object oriented understanding out of it. But, you know, ymmv.
You also have to imagine, that it also doesn't hurt to have a friend who does graphic design since someone has to do the modeling. I guess you can do it by yourself, but it's best to leave that to someone who knows what they're doing (imo).
I threw together a top-down scroller earlier this year because I needed to learn openframeworks in a hurry. I'm not saying it's the greatest framework or that you should go out and learn it, I just had to learn it for work and it was pretty easy to jump into. That being said, I have some experience delving into foreign APIs. Could I have done this after, essentially, my sophomore year in college? Probably... but it was much, much easier after some experience and some more advanced classes.
No, the code that I posted is for Processing. I don't know much about capturing video frames outside of Processing (it may not be fast, but it does make some things easy), but once you've got the frames, the math isn't hard.
I used two very simple webcams (Logitech QuickCam 3000 for business) because I wanted them to work on Linux (though I ran the script on OSX). But aiming them was very difficult. If you want your effort to pay off big, focus your attention on mounting the cameras so they they point the same direction and don't vibrate (assuming you want to carry them around to get "giant vision").
You may want to look into using openframeworks---it's like Processing but with better performance. But honestly, if you don't have much programming background, just download and use Processing.
Imho Processings forte lies in 2D. And while there certainly have been impressive 3D programs made with it, I feel setting up a full VR environment would just be pushing it too much. Though I'd like to be proven wrong.
You might yield better results looking in to openFrameworks or cinder. (Though even there I don't know if these environments are ideal for VR).
If you're looking to do creative coding stuff, check out openFrameworks and C4. Of course you can use HTML5/CSS/JavaScript within iOS apps via UIWebView.
openframeworks seems right up your alley if you want to delve into c++.
Check out the video on that front page, should give you a clue on what you can expect from it.
Be warned I've never used this to build anything .. But if you are looking to create something visually compelling this is one of the best looking ones I've come across. http://www.openframeworks.cc/
They have a UI addon which has rotary sliders which would probably achieve what you want - http://www.ofxaddons.com/popular
I found about about this library from one of the posts currently on the main page.
http://www.reddit.com/r/linux/comments/2t0vjv/dex_ui_futuristicscifi_interface_programmed_in/
This is the guide I used. It shows how to setup a toolchain for raspberry pi and tell distcc to use it. Might be worth looking into.
Check out Open Frameworks. It's not quite what you're looking for but it's easy to port a desktop app made with it to iOS. As simple as compiling your project against the iPhone build in most cases.