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Merry spring, everybody!

Work was alright. Little hectic because the overboss decided to stalk the garage and breathe down everyone's neck all day, which slows things to a crawl.

Off the nootropic (which I'll call Larry) for two days now. Very weird, emotionally. I had a number of sad, intrusive thoughts that were very common before I started Larry, but they all stopped at the biofeedback stage. For instance, my ex-girlfriend T and I are talking again, and that makes me really happy, and I had the sudden flash of the memory of the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips, the light in her eyes when she smiled at me - coupled with the knowledge that those things are lost to me forever. Normally, this would hit like a punch to the gut, and as I felt shitty more sad thoughts would follow, creating a feedback loop. Coming off Larry, I get the thought, but they pass without a visceral response.

This created in me a desire to start taking Larry again, but I recognized an addiction forming. Prolonged use of this substance is known to cause serotonin syndrome, and while I've decided not to discount Larry entirely - the improvement in disposition was so great - I've resolved to stagger doses, perhaps a week on followed by a week or two off, for safety.

I received two new substances in the mail - Phil and Tom - that have less side effects and potential for abuse that I'm eager to try once Larry is completely out of my system.

I've started reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I'm really enjoying it. I now have an idle fancy of getting a bike again. I broke my arm in an accident shortly after my son was born and gave up riding, but an occasional leisure activity rather than a primary mode of transportation might be worth considering.

It's been awesome! Today was my birthday and I'm officially legal all around the world. I got an amazing gift of a baby Groot plant and a puzzle. I was actually in a very good mood! Which doesn't happen often. I realized that even though I have very few friendship they're incredible. I am very lucky. I need to better myself and be a better friend, for them and for me.

I usually hate my birthdays too. I had huge plans to commit suicide last year but ultimately didn't go through with it. I'm not in the place where I can say I am glad I didn't do it, but today wasn't so bad. I had been feeling gloom all day though and all week so far. I hope this mood lasts.

Oh and also! This week I start to train officially with my new type of bow. I am shooting with a recurve but I'm switching to a compound. I still haven't been able to purchase one but I'm continuing to train and get ready for the weight.

I'd love to hear about everyone's days! I'm in a hurry right now but I may come back and add a little bit more info about my day if anyone wants. It wasn't that eventful but it's still a fun thing to do:)

I spent the morning reading the first half of "The Elements of Style." After, I burned sensitive documents in the backyard with my Business partner, and talked about our Business. Then I made venison meatball spaghetti with cheese. It was delicious.

Can't help with the other stuff, but blocking out noise from parties can be done with various noise generators. Here's an Android App for your phone. I like the "Air Filter" and "Brown Noise" options because they have a lot of bass in them; that can block out the bass line from someone's party music.

Sleep is important for physical and mental health, so it needs to be a high priority in your life.