>Hello! I experienced the same feelings when I began my spiritual awakening. I know exactly what you are going through. You have to remember to look within for answers and your path will become clearer as you become more tuned in with your intuition. Here is a book I recommend to help you along your journey! Love and light to you beautiful soul!
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>https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Grace-Self-love-obtaining-internal-ebook/dp/B095NFMZDJ/ref=sr\_1\_5?dchild=1&keywords=healing+with+grace&qid=1622328890&s=digital-text&sr=1-5
It sounds like you're waking up sexually! Congrats.
There is nothing wrong with 'homosexual' thoughts. Although, I would reflect on your inner judgment about having them (might be something repressed? or conditioned?).
Also, I highly recommend reading 'Reclaiming Eros' by Suzanne Blackburn - https://www.amazon.com/Reclaiming-Eros-Suzanne-Blackburn/dp/1461180503 - it'll definitely shed light on your experience and show you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring these new feelings/thoughts (with consent, of course).
Stephen Nachmanovitch’s book Free Play:Improvisation in Life and Art also has some interesting points on getting out of the way of the creative impulse.
You may not like me saying anything anymore on this. But, I am anyways going to leave a link a book that is available in Amazon. When you get a chance, if you like to, give it a read
I Am That https://www.amazon.com/dp/0893860468/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_WX4RECAMVHQ6M3K3AT4T
The same book can be downloaded for free at https://theblisscentre.org/more/ebooks/IAmThat.pdf
You need to just take it bit by bit or you'll get over whelmed with information and burn your self out which will put you into a deep depression if not suicidal thoughts.
The first thing I would RECOMMEND highly is to clean your diet away from processes foods as much as you can, the reason behind this is to manage your emotions and gain back control over your body's natural hormones. Second getting ride of as much as possible fluoride being used in the water, tooth pastes, mouth wash. Here's a link to a toothpaste I personally use:https://www.amazon.com/Himalaya-Complete-Care-Toothpaste-Flouride-Free/dp/B01N49LCK9/ref=mp_s_a_1_29?crid=2LQ9FQE2MC3HN&dchild=1&keywords=flouride+free+natural+toothpaste&qid=1631336643&sprefix=flourid&sr=8-29
Get some fresh air, your body wasn't designed to sit for 10 hours it wants to be used like a machines so take care of it and will last a long time.
I have encountered the black hooded figures before and what I came across is that their "government officials"( military abductions aka miklabs) or human hybrid mix with the grey alien race. Can't speak on the green hooded figures
https://ufoholic.com/contactee-claims-moon-artificial-brought-another-galaxy/
https://www.amazon.com/MILABS-Military-Control-Alien-Abduction/dp/1881532186
Hello! I experienced the same feelings when I began my spiritual awakening. I know exactly what you are going through. You have to remember to look within for answers and your path will become clearer as you become more tuned in with your intuition. Here is a book I recommend to help you along your journey! Love and light to you beautiful soul!
It’s really common and I’m sure very helpful to a lot of people to be guided through meditations when it comes to things like this from gurus who have done this already but if I may suggest something?
Do not do guided meditations, at least for this. Do a little research, read about the pineal gland, the origins, google is your friend.
[www.amazon.com](www.amazon.com/Chakras-Self-Care-Activate-Healing-Everyday/dp/0593196686/ref=nodl_)
[www.amazon.com](www.amazon.com/Chakras-Self-Care-Activate-Healing-Everyday/dp/0593196686/ref=nodl_)
Two good reads on amazon to get you started.
Or look around a local bookstore or online yourself and find some that interest you!
So would this book be ok?
Llewellyn's Complete Book of Ceremonial Magick: A Comprehensive Guide to the Western Mystery Tradition (Llewellyn's Complete Book Series, 14) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738764728/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_I5AXFb11PFZYC