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/u/cwmma does have a point. Your post doesn't really provide any good points to stand on other than the fact that you are trying to use JavaScript like it is C or Java. You don't have to write in JavaScript if you don't want to. Try something like GWT. Your issues with the language itself stem from it the dynamic type nature of it. If that was the only thing you hated, then try TypeScript. However, it seems to be that ignorance and incompetence are what impede your progress here. You complain that when you mash two poorly maintained libraries together and things break, then the language must be broken. By that logic, all languages are terrible because there is an uncountable number of poorly maintained projects. Your original issue was solved by /u/Cosmologicon . The issue was that you were using jQuery without understanding it. JavaScript may be different from C and Java, but it is no child's toy. The language is plenty capable and it should be treated at such.
ah.. maybe there's hope for Web SQL yet again. In spite of the standard process and the lackluster support, it could be practical to roll out SQLite.js on top of localStorage and just use relational algebra on our pages like we just don't care.