If heat helps your pain and your neck is your main problem you might go for one of these bed buddy things. It's annoying to have to re-nuke it when it cools off but it's helpful. I have bad neck pain too. In fact my pain in general started with my neck.
As for hand and arm pain I mentioned this program in another post but it will slow you down even after you get good at using it.
Oh, and I find that a heating pad resting on the arm/hand helps.
Np :) Idk if you have access to a library near you or if they would carry this book but I had to buy it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Figuring-out-Fibromyalgia-effective-treatments/dp/0982833970/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=figuring+out+fibro&qid=1592701516&sr=8-1
It might help you. Not everything in there helped me as I was already doing a lot of the things in there prior to reading her book but she's a medical doctor (MD) who also discovered she had fibro and goes through all these studies she's found in the process and what's helped her and her patients who also have fibro over the years. It may also help your mom too! GL OP!
I have not tried light therapy but I do want to. The only thing that has prevented me is the cost. I don't want to spend $100 and find out that it is another useless gadget for me. I also work in a windowless office and my doctor checked my vitamin D levels and found they were low. I found this one on Amazon which is cheaper and gets good reviews: http://www.amazon.com/Sphere-Gadget-Technologies-SP9882-Lightphoria/dp/B004JF3G08/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340817086&sr=8-1&keywords=lightphoria
Hey,
I really don't know much about it except a friend of mine has the same issue. He doesn't suffer from Fibro or Lupus, however. I did a quick search for "tailbone cushions" on Amazon and found this for $16.65.
Welcome, by the way! :D