I can’t stress this enough friend.
Read the Gita.
As RD says, read it first as a story. A second time as Arjuna and the third time as Krishna…because that is ultimately who you are.
The Bhagavad Gita https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1586380192/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_WGAYF2A8QC0G61ETB6DR
When you’ve done this, you will see what the next steps are
Namaste
I recommend reading Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche's In Love With the World (https://www.amazon.com/Love-World-Journey-Through-Bardos/dp/0525512535); he touches upon the concept of unreality and nothingness and how, in reality, nothingness is everything and everything is nothing. He is able to deconstruct love but also elevate it as both an unreality and a reality. It is not something to fear, or soothing to feel forlorn about, for fear and sadness, too, do not exist.
And also it looks like the quote in that book is from this book:
Acid Dreams
Found this in the comments from OP from the original post on r/psychedelics:
“Pharmako Gnosis by Dale Pendell. There are three books in this series, I recommend them all. This one is on plant psychedelics (e.g. yopo, mushrooms, lotus), one is on stimulants (e.g. khat, caffeine), the third is on plant poisons (e.g. belladonna, opium).
Try reading "Miracle of Love" by Ram Dass. It's a beautiful retelling of Maharajji's life through the eyes of his devotees. It will make you feel much closer to him.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad is still with you. He always will be. I promise you. There is a you tube with ram dass and Jo channel for Emmanuel I find beautiful. Have you seen his documentary becoming nobody? It’s on Gaia And you can get the book be here now on Amazon. I also love P’taah with Jani King, the Emmanuel books and my all time recommendation is The testimony of light Testimony of Light: An Extraordinary Message of Life After Death https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1585427047/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_TXAET8YPMGVZWDKTNXKR It’ll change your perspective on death
Also, I got my copy on Amazon, but it's this version
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1945739010/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_iDs0Fb31G3TPF
Cool story: I think they print this edition to order, it is date stamped on the back one day after I placed my Amazon order. I didn't know that and thought it was way cool... That has to be how it's done, right? Anyway, this version has the Original text, transliteration, and translation to English. It also had the Hanuman Chalisa, and several other poems and prayers.
From a spiritual point of view, the concept is covered in the Gita ... and the introduction in this version touches on how to bring it more into modern reality - briefly - but sufficiently that it blew my mind when I read it.