Yo OP, check out The Z library it’ll save you a fortune on books for your kiddo. I use it for college stuff but there’s a ton of kids books on their too. And tell your little reader she’s doing great
It’s a book with lots of tips for discipline/stopping behaviors without the usual power struggles between parent and a more spirited child. The 123 part is that when the kid does something wrong like in the OP’s case if turning every request by the parent into an argument or negotiation, they get 2 chances to stop and then at 3 is the consequence. (You do explain this new way of the rules working to the child and they even walk you through that in the book in age appropriate ways). Like parent says “billy, time to pick up your toys” and he ignores you (but you know he heard you), you simply say “that’s 1”. If he then starts arguing “I don’t want to.” Or “when I finish” you can say “that’s 2, I told you to pick up now”. If he doesn’t comply then you say “that’s 3, go take a time out”.
The book describes different “punishments” and all that too. We used time outs. It sounds simplistic, but once your child starts to understand that a 3 always (and this is the important part—consistency) means a punishment they will start to comply before it gets to that. It helped us stop the back and forth between me and my son. To stop him from pushing my buttons and me from getting angrier and frustrated and yelling at him. After a bit you just have to say “that’s 1” (and you always say it calmly) and they know you mean business and do what you’ve asked. There’s a lot more to it and it explains the whys and different scenarios. The book is probably even better in newer editions as my spirited kid is 16 now. 1-2-3 Magic book
Find this book at the library- my youngest loved it! ALL about where garbage goes & garbage trucks.