This app was mentioned in 9 comments, with an average of 1.44 upvotes
Is this something that you would be willing to have shared to the community-at-large? What sort of design are you thinking you're looking for and how much customization are you expecting?
This is something that could be very simple, or very involved and it's a bit of a stretch to ask.
T2 Mood Tracker is a phone app that may be able to help you in your recovery.
For that, I would recommend a daily mood tracker. I admit there aren't many great options out there (they're all so ugly..) but this one seems like the most popular: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.t2.vas&hl=en or https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/t2-mood-tracker/id428373825?mt=8
Every week or so, look at the average mood you have. And if it's trending dangerously upwards or downwards, then beware.
I'll see how this works. The US government made one that helped in a similar way by having a. Bunch of binary sliders. (It was made by the government as originally made for soldiers' health, but they don't collect data unless you sohn up to do so.)
Play store link https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.t2.vas
I will throw an app into this mix. The Defense Health Agency has a symptom tracking app that I use, called T2 Mood Tracker. It’s not a mindfulness app, but it’s good for doing a daily check-in with yourself.
As someone with mental health diagnoses and on many medications over time, it’s sometimes hard to keep track of where my mood and symptoms are. It’s especially challenging when changing, or considering changing, medications. T2 just has you adjust a slider between extremes (eg. Stressed to Relaxed) for various symptoms. Then you can chart them over time. Especially Useful is that you can customize and make your symptom tracking sliders for your specific needs. This is great for tracking distinct side effects and such.
Just throwing it out there. When you mentioned the VA I immediately thought of this one, since it’s Department of Defense. It’s a massive task, but the military does do a lot to try to take care of their people with an amazing spectrum of needs.
Also, T2 Mood Tracker for tracking emotional health. I've used it for a while & find it helpful. Technically it's made by the Defense Health Agency, so for active duty. Other than disabling the head injury / concussion option, I've used it pretty much as designed. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.t2.vas
T2 Mood Tracker is a good one. It tracks depression, anxiety, general well being etc. with a graphic representation of those things over time. You can also create new "moods" to track if what they provide doesn't work for you.
I can't answer all your questions, but I just want to second what /u/bluntlybipolar wrote and add a little more encouragement. As they said, it's totally normal to feel the way you feel, and if you didn't, I would probably be more worried about you.
I'm a huge fan of this book. It's simple, straightforward, and written in very short question/answer sections, so you can pick it up and put it down. If you're younger, this version may be more helpful.
Getting a mood tracking app is also a pretty good self-care starting place. Filling it out can help you learn to develop the habit of paying attention to how you're feeling. I know that Daylio is pretty popular on this subreddit, but I prefer the T2 Mood Tracker because I find I'm more honest when I have to fill out lots of sliders. I'm also a little paranoid and like that they don't save my information on their servers.
You will probably make mistakes and have setbacks, but that's okay, because it's part of the learning process. Everybody on this subreddit has made them and most of us will be happy to give you support and the benefit of our experience.
I also want to say that, although having a mood disorder really sucks, this is probably the best time in human history to have one. We have a lot more effective medications now, and there are many to choose from, so if something doesn't work for you, you and your doctor can keep trying new things. The internet also gives you access to more information and to people like you, who know what you're going through.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that what I've said can be helpful for you.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.t2.vas
I think it was this one, but a bunch of them do the same thing and are also free. If this one doesn't work for you, shop around.