You took the first step posting here. On behalf of your hubby...thank you.
They may not have told you this, but here's the facts: SSRIs, like Prozac, can and very often will induce mania in bipolar individuals if not balanced against a mood stabilizer like depakote, lithium, etc. This almost certainly contributed to your husband's mental state.
I very, very strongly recommend buying The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. This gave me so much footing to stay grounded on when I was diagnosed in November. It has information about bipolar, triggers to mood states, coping strategies, mood tracking/managing strategies, a section devoted to how to support your bipolar loved one as a family member or friend, seriously. Buy this book as soon as possible. The author has years of experience working with bipolar individuals and brings that in full force to the book.
Lastly, post here. Talk to us about what's happening, questions, frustrations. This subreddit isn't just for bipeeps, it's also for their loved ones. Have a seat at the table. You and your family have taken the first step towards stability and getting your husband the help he needs.
I am not a professional but I think you may be experiencing Depersonalization-derealization disorder. It is a type of dissociative disorder and can be very very serious. This is the wikipedia article that covers it. You really should get in touch with a competent therapist ASAP, you might want to consider spending some time in a treatment facility to start your treatment. Dissociative disorders are serious, as in the "oh shit" type of serious.
With all due respect to your parents and their religious beliefs, prayer is not going to help you. Prayer/meditation can help you find peace but it is not going to "cure" you.
Please find help soon. Don't let anything, or any excuse, stand in your way. Find help, soon.
It sounds like you are working really hard on your mental health and you should be proud of that. I am sorry you are feeling so isolated. Are there events in your area where you could get some light social interaction while you work on building deeper relationships? Something like meetup.com ? Just to go and be around people, I know it isn't quite the same but sometimes I find these light interactions can help boost my spirit and I feel like I am being proactive about my situation.
Hey man, I don't think you should give up on engineering to work at a supernarket.
I'll be honest, bipolar is a large barrier for any academic/work pursuit, but you can totally overcome it. If you keep working on your mental health eventually you will gain greater controls over your mood and you will develop healthy coping strategies for when your brain goes extra haywire.
You're not far out from a big episode and things will get better from here if you don't give up! My last big episode was in 2013 and I'm still getting back on track. Mania is traumatic. You're still healing and you should feel free to excuse yourself for not being at your full potential.
There's no shame in taking more time to do your degree. Take ten years if you have to!
I also think you shouldn't blow the window-fixing incident out of proportion. It's not symbolic of your overall failings as a person. Your friend was coming at the problem from a very different mental perspective than you (the broken window hasn't haunted him daily for six months) so of course he was able to fix it easily. I suspect there are other problems in this world that you are better equipped to solve than he is.
Chin up, my friend. You've got this.
P.S. I think you might enjoy reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. It has some deep philosophical advice about how to do quality work. It's applicable to your window conundrum.
I cannot offer you a solution, only empathy, because this is also my kryptonite.
I'm in my final year of medical school, and I am in clinics acting as a student doctor, and I have a hard time itemizing and prioritizing tasks. Sometimes it seems like too much and I get overwhelmed, my anxiety breaks, and I fear that I will never function like a normal person, let alone a doctor.
I also try and abandon numerous systems. Sometimes I will go through setting it up only to never use it. Thinking on it, right now I don't even HAVE a system. I had a list going last week on a piece of scrap paper but it just atrophied and now I can't even find it.
What works when I work it is mindfulness. I took a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course at school first year, and it's what got me through. This chapter from Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn describes how one might change their relationship with the challenges in their life.
But, of course, I didn't actually finish the MBSR course. That's just not how I roll, apparently. Hoping to break the pattern by graduating from medical school in May without literally killing myself.
Best of luck to you. I know how it is.
I poked around and it looks like this is a standard policy for issuing visas, though from what I've read (on the US visa site at least) it sounds like a cautionary item on a checklist rather than a blanket refusal for anyone with mental illness.
> [You'll need an] Original medical certificate of good health and absence of contagious diseases, drug addiction and mental illness issued and signed by a doctor.
US State dept visa requirements
> What if the applicant has a history of harmful or violent behavior?
> Applicants with any history of harmful or violent behavior resulting in injury to people or animals, or harm to inanimate objects must provide information that will allow the panel physician to determine if the behavior was related to a psychiatric or medical problem, or to drug or alcohol use. Harmful behavior includes attempted suicide or self-harm, no matter how minor in nature.
> What if the applicant has been treated or hospitalized for psychiatric or mental illness, or alcohol or drug abuse?
> Applicants treated or hospitalized for psychiatric or mental illness or alcohol or drug abuse must present written certification including the diagnosis, duration of treatment rendered, and prognosis.
> What if the applicant is being treated for a chronic medical condition or is taking medication on a regular basis?
> Applicants being treated for chronic medical conditions, or those taking medications on a regular basis, should be familiar with the medical conditions being treated, and the names of the medications they are taking. Applicants unsure of their diagnoses must present a certificate describing the condition(s), the current treatment, and prognosis with a list of prescribed medications.
With due respect to you and your husband, this really isn't the place to bleg for donations. You might want to try Indiegogo, which my friend currently making a documentary recommends over Kickstarter.
A psychiatrist told me there was grieving for 'the lost, healthy self'. That phrase has stuck with me for over 15 years. I was dx'd with bipolar, fibromyalgia and cfs all w/in a year.
It really sucks, and knowing intellectually helped only a tiny bit. I've come to terms with my illness somewhat, but the grief still shows up in different ways. I have a very small group of wonderful friends, and sometimes I feel sadness when they tell me how they went for a walk and talked w someone for almost two hours standing up.
This book helped me when I was in the thick of it. I had both the book and the audiobook. Sometimes reading would take too much energy.
I have improved somewhat, as has my mood. Thank you for the link, esp because I have both conditions the author has.
Does anyone else feel guilty for getting sick? Like it's my fault. As if things aren't hard enough. Be kind to yourself and everyone as you can. We don't always know what another person is going through.
I had the same issue when I first started. Now, I use the app Medisafe to remind me to take them. It's simple to use and has been a life saver for me. It's free, but there's also a paid version, only a few bucks and totally worth the investment for the notification tones they have. (I pay for my apps via the $ earned from Google Opinion Rewards, a survey app where you get paid to answer short surveys, made $114 since 2014.) Medisafe is so effective, my doctor recommends it to her other patients all the time. Here's a link to the app if you're interested:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.medisafe.android.client
Google Opinion Rewards:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.google.android.apps.paidtasks
Added this just in case you're interested, it's usually short answer stuff. I got a survey earlier asking if I own or rent, paid 10¢ for answering, only took a second. Sometimes they're more than just one question, but never more than 4-5. May seem like nothing, but a little bit of change turns into a dollar real quick. I've used the $ to buy several self help/mental health management books.
Best of luck to you!
I'm having a hard time finding articles proving diet can't cure bipolar, but that doesn't mean your roommate is any more correct.
I'm not sure how familiar you are with neurochemistry*, but I think that teaching your roommate a bit about it would really help. Low GABA levels have been linked with both bipolar and schizophrenia (one article here: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0893133X01002251) , and as far as I'm aware, you can't increase that significantly with diet.
*If you don't know much about it, it's pretty interesting! Just Wikipedia can help quite bit, and for me, knowing why my meds work makes them much more bearable to take. Not that we really know why some of them work, but still. It's really neat. I don't know much at all, just 2 psych classes and LOTs of reading online.
If you're life is stable internally and externally, try searching for a new med. My last med, Seroquel, caused me to gain 20 lbs, but was the most effective drug I ever used. So I dealt with the side effects the best I could. However, when I found out my blood pressure sky-rocketed to 157, I realized that the regimen wasn't sustainable. Be aware that there are more things than just your job that are at risk when it comes to weight gain.
Also, though therapy is wonderful, remember that you have a medical issue. Without treatment, sooner or later, your disorder will hurt you, sometimes irreparably. Mania and depression can do serious damage to your professional image and your personal relationships.
If you don't want to switch meds, try using a calorie counter like MyFitnessPal. Programs like that will guide you through healthy weight loss.
It may not feel like you’re strong enough right now. We all feel this way at some point. The majority of us feel it quite often, I know I do. This disorder so easily kicks us down. Your feelings are valid but we all INCLUDED YOU have the strength to rise up and kick bipolar’s ass! It’s a difficult battle with a learning curve that’s personalized to each individual. But the more you battle, the easier it becomes to stare bipolar it’s stupid face and say “not this time, I’m gonna own you.” There’s are great tools out there we can utilize to fight harder. Tracking moods can help get ahead of an episode. This can help your psych prescribe short-term medication to help. So many books of learning about the disorder. Workbooks to learn how you as an individual can cope. I was given some hope recently of a book that helped someone else shorten the length of an episode and sometimes stop it in its tracks. https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Bipolar-Disorder-Neuroscience-Symptoms/dp/1626251851/ref=nodl_ The battle won’t always be this hard. The more knowledge you have on this disorder and the more you know how it specifically targets you. The easier it’s going to become to flourish. Stay safe, friend. There are people in your life and all across this sub who are rooting for you.
Mods, if this is against the rule, please just remove this comment, instead of removing the whole post. It took a while to write all of that out.
Name of book:
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life
Link to read a bit of it: https://www.newharbinger.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-skills-workbook-bipolar-disorder
Link to Amazon, to buy it: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003MEIMRO?ref=dbs_p2d_P_R_popup_yes_pony_T1&pldnSite=1
I use an app. It shows up on my phone as Splendo but is in the play store as "to do list". I have reminders for meds twice daily, working out every other day, weigh myself on Mondays (trying to lose some Seroquel weight) and single day stuff like call pdoc Monday. Luckily I'm stable enough things like brushing teeth aren't a problem. I've tried several apps and this one works the best for me.
This is pretty useful. Let me keep digging for the one that I found. I'll see if I can find anything for Lithium.
I just looked into lithium and lamictal. It looks like both can be taken with or without food, though notably (and this lines up with my own experience), taking lithium on an empty stomach can result in diiiiiiiiiiiarrhea. Hello pooping five times in the first two hours of the morning... ffs.
Taking it with food has completely circumvented that, however. Thought I'd throw this out there for anyone else that could use this info :)
I agree with the first poster, I dunno if they have costco where you live, but, if they have any large discount warehouse store that sells things in bulk, you should check them out, the prices are waaaaay better, and I haven't noticed a quality difference. http://www.costco.com/Pharmacy/DrugInformation.aspx?p=1 You don't have to be a member either, they legally can't refuse to sell you meds even if you aren't a member of their price club. Good luck dude!
> The Maudsley Bipolar Disorder Project: the effect of medication, family history, and duration of illness on IQ and memory in bipolar I disorder. J Clin Psychiatry, 64(1), 86-93.
I did: second link on google: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10896277_The_Maudsley_Bipolar_Disorder_Project_The_effect_of_medication_family_history_and_duration_of_illness_on_IQ_and_memory_in_Bipolar_I_Disorder
Back when I had trouble waking up, I used to use an alarm clock with a vibrating disk that you put under the mattress or the pillow. Something like this but cheaper.
Seriously, SERIOUSLY monitor your caloric intake, and safely reduce it as much as possible. I lost about 70lbs on some heavy psych meds, a number of years ago. It is 100% possible, and don't believe the myth that psych meds will keep you fat forever. There is obviously some initial gain for many of us, but it can't continue if you don't LET it. The MyPlate app I use is very versatile, and will even calculate safe calorie restrictions for you. Don't forget to cover the emotional bases too - it's super common to gain weight during recovery because of a variety of factors (I'm eating more because I'm experiencing more sensation from it, or I have my apatite back, or I'm social again and friends encourage me to eat/drink/be merry, etc). Are you within the normal BMI guidelines for your height? Is it possible you're perfectly healthy, but you only have a sense of identity with yourself at a lower weight? Talking to your counselor about this stuff can be super helpful, too.
I don't know if it'll work for you, but one thing that helped me get my brain to shut up and accept what happens is mindfulness. It didn't really click for me until I read Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Congrats on surviving the ordeal.
Your description of the sensation you felt around Carl Sagan sounds like when I felt an epiphany and my manic symptoms started for the first time. I had been reading Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning in class.
Anti-depressants put me into mania like you, so it took a while to settle on Abilify. Like several years. Personally, I don't hope for permanent normal-ness, but more of an evening out and prevention of life distorting mania/depression. If I can feel my "Authentic Self Identity" then I know I can trust my judgment and relax.
Reward yourself, take a day off and do something fun. Journaling will help you keep on track also by recording your moods and day to day activity.
Congratulations at getting to this point :)
I think medication tweaking or CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) might help with the depression/anxiety. Your brain can fall into the habit of fueling the depressive/anxious thoughts and you can try to unteach it. This is something hard to do without medication, but once the medication is working fairly well, then you can try to lessen the negative thoughts by CBT techniques.
There are some books that might help, for example: "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns. There's also "Change Your Thinking: Overcome Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, and Improve Your Life with CBT" by Sarah Edelman.
That said, you might still benefit from changes in medication. It all depends on whether you can get more benefit from meds without getting side effects that make things worse.
I really agree with this. I have had problems with weight throughout the years and it was first when I started doing proper diet control that I started losing weight. Since I have been physically ill most of the spring I live more by the rule of "calories in, calories out".
I try to eat less then my "normal" intake without actually starving myself and the upside of this is that I can technically eat whatever I want, as long as I stay below the daily limit. There are numerous calculators online and there are also many apps for most smartphones where you can get an estimate of your daily needs, and how much you need to cut down to lose weight over time.
The app I used was the MyFitnessPal (Android | iPhone) that helped me track my calories, which really surprised me with how much I actually stuffed myself with each day.
I figured out reincarnation and the afterlife. I wish I could find the notes I kept on it, because I'd like to see just how crazy I was. I remember being convinced I was uncovering my adopted son's genetic history using foam letters in the bathtub that I rearranged for hours one night while manic.
It's like those dreams when you are convinced you know the answer to everything and wake up to think "what the F*CK"
See if this is familiar, but keep in mind you don't need to have all of the symptoms or for the exact (averaged) length of time. I've never had the prodrome symptoms listed. You should run this by your GP or a neurologist though just to be sure it isn't something else. I had an MRI when I was first diagnosed too.
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/what-are-silent-migraines
On this topic, I just finished reading Insane by Alisa Roth. Horribly eye opening. I knew it was bad… but it’s so much worse.
https://www.amazon.com/Insane-Americas-Criminal-Treatment-Illness/dp/0465094198/ref=nodl_
Breakdown: May be good, may make you manic. Science still out. Don't try on your own.
Opinion from non Doctor: Don't waste your money on this, especially if it's tight. Still being studied (Don't do it) and can trigger mania (really don't do it).
>Biochemical studies in combination with pharmacotherapy give hints that the neurotransmitter function and the related signal transduction may be abnormally regulated. Since all the neurotransmitter circuits are interconnected, the dysregulation may occur on different levels and it is rather improbable that one single abnormality should account for the disorder.
This is just an excerpt from an abstract, but it's a lot more complicated than just measuring one or two neurotransmitters.
Ackenheil, M. Neurotransmitters and signal transduction processes in bipolar affective disorders: a synopsis. 2001
I bought this one (Avenir DLX Unicycle https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001V662XQ/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_OHLxub03GQ0S5) and I'm happy with it. I've only had it for a month, though, and I can only ride it a few feet. But I'll get there!
It surprises me that people in a circus club wouldn't be all about learning the unicycle. It's super fun to learn as long as you're not easily frustrated.
The rash could be a potentially life threatening condition, he has to be careful.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/stevens-johnson-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355936
Rexulti is an atypical antipsychotic with dopamine and serotonin modulation, which would leave me to believe that it works to fight depression.
I'm a queer cis woman in a lot of LGBTQ+ circles and I've had multiple friends who I've seen come out and transition as trans or gender non-binary. There are countless ways to experience gender and countless terms (trans, genderqueer, non-binary, genderfluid, agender, non-binary masculine, non-binary feminine, etc. etc. etc.) to describe someone's gender identity. There's a lot to explore and I think it's great that you're exploring it. It's completely okay to not know what your gender is and to take time to figure that out.
I have never heard of someone changing their gender identity with mood episodes. That's really interesting. My perspective is that, as long as someone doesn't rush into surgery decisions, there's no harm in exploring gender, clothes, makeup, pronouns, etc.
I strongly recommend going to LGBTQ+ meetups. See if there's an LGBTQ+ center in your area, or go on meetup.com. Meeting and talking to queer people irl is the biggest thing that helped me figure out my sexuality.
Also... take what your therapist says about it with a grain of salt. Unless they're a gender/sexuality therapist (which do exist), they are most likely not trained on queer issues and might be misinformed. Remember: cis people can present in many ways (I know plenty of cis men who wear makeup and dresses), non-binary people can present in many ways (and it is possible to be non-binary and trans), and trans people can present in many ways (for example, I know trans women who are very butch / masculine; they're still women, they just present differently). Figure out what makes you feel comfortable and affirmed and be careful of anyone who tries to tell you what your identity is.
This Ted talk helped me enormously with my paranoia and rage problems. It focuses on the cures to human strife, often caused by misunderstanding or cultural differences. The Methods he talks about to avoid being a "human reaction machine" are remarkably simple. Best 20 minutes i've ever invested.
We all make mistakes it's just a natural part of life. Hope this helps. Thank you! :)
> I'm just referring to the light boost of energy and efficiency of hypomania :)
That always comes at a price and, to me, it's never worth it.
edit: Ah, yes, "self-diagnosed." You need to see a doctor. Untreated mania also appears to come at a physical cost to your brain and/or cognitive function, at least in preliminary studies.
edit2:
If you think you have a neurological disorder of any sort, get thee to your doctor. Get a real diagnosis and real treatment, even if it's only talk therapy.
for sure the logic is flawed. i don't think this counts as scientific evidence. this does. plus having lived in cali, it is so farking easy to get a "green card." dispensaries will refer you to docs who will "prescribe" it for anything--back pain, whatever. you basically pay money (~$200) for the card. weed culture there is out of control. fun, and so sketchy for a BP1.
Alternatively, you can "pay what you want" at the Humble Bundle website (https://www.humblebundle.com/weekly) and get ALL of these games (including all Soundtracks) in the Weekly Humble Bundle: Psychonauts Costume Quest Stacking Brutal Legend (If you pay $6 or more) Spacebase DF-9 (If you pay $16.74 or more)
Generic Lamictal is pretty cheap. At Costco you can get 100 tablets for $21.95. Here's the link in case you want more info.
Http://Www.findingoptimism.com Also an app called optimism in the App Store (not sure about android) It's feature rich, export to email or printer, daily drill down or you can set a range of dates for charts. You can customize the fields to track what you want.
I'm not an expert, but I think lamictal, topamax, abilify, latuda, and geodon are supposed to be pretty good. I got the info about the antipsychotics from the mayo clinic but I am sure there are others they did not consider - there are a lot of options.
I did gain some weight on medication but I was not considering weight at all when choosing meds. It's hard for me to say how much I gained because it was very gradual and I was very skinny before I started (being manic and not eating will do that). So how much is from the meds, how much was healthy weight gain, and how much is from my many lifestyle changes like graduating and walking less? I started counting calories in September and have already lost about 25 pounds, representing most of the weight gain (I am now at a healthy weight).
It may help if you also look up your total energy that you use in a day (called "TDEE" or "total daily energy expenditure") and see how your intake compares. My TDEE is between 1400 and 1500 calories so I would gain a lot of weight if I ate 2000 as you mentioned. I'm not saying you need to count calories, but I think having a basic idea of how much you need to eat every day is beneficial for everyone.
oh god I wish I read that before posting about melatonin. Night terrors suck.
I mean, your brain has obviously changed since then, so it's totally possible it won't have that effect. Perhaps if you're having trouble it may be worth testing, but if it still happens obviously don't keep up with it.
I also use L-tryptophan, which contributes to sleep and improves your mood (possibly also contributing to mania, but sleep moreso in my experience (don't combine this with an SSRI without a lengthy discussion with your psychiatrist)).
naturesoundsfor.me also helped me make a sleep thing I listen to. (http://naturesoundsfor.me/tranquil_firecat) if you're interested.
Honestly, I've been using melatonin for years and I swear by it. I have a hard time sleeping without it, but it's easier to adjust to sleep without it than ambien was. I think I've developed very little tolerance, and even when I have no tiredness or will to sleep, if I take it and turn out the lights and try to sleep, I have a great night sleep. I never feel groggy in the morning (at least not compared to life before bipolar or before meds).
You may want to look into sleep hygiene to help you sleep better, like not using your bed when you're not trying to sleep (or well, do other adult-y things). Personally, vyvanse was euphoric. It was still probably bad for me though, so I think I'm better without it.
If you use a laptop, you may find playing something like this nature sounds mix I made as you try to sleep helps.
I feel really uncomfortable relying on sleeping pills for sleep, but melatonin has been quite kind to me.
For sure! "Titrating up" in this case just means the doc starts you at a low dose and then slowly increases it until you reacg a dosage that works well for you.
Yeah the grapefruit thing is crazy. It messes with all sorts of drugs. I only learned about seroquel recently.
The other really important thing with bipolar disorder, and any sort of mental health really, is self-care. Getting enough sleep is one of the most important things. But then also getting regular exercise, eating well, and trying to minimize substance intake (alcohol, especially, can be pretty dicey).
If you're not feeling well, it can be hard to do self-care. But if you can get into a routine, it really helps.
Journaling is an amazing idea. I've never been disciplined enough to do it regularly. It'll also help you figure out early warning signs for when you're starting to slip into hypomania / mania / depression so you can take action before things get too off-the-rails. It's also been helpful for me to have a few friends who are aware of my situation and can let me know if things seem off.
My sis also has BD, and recommended this book for me: https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Steady-Brilliant-Advice-Bipolar/dp/1683961013
It has a lot of good advice, if you can afford the $20.
Hang in there! I was diagnosed a couple years ago, and have been pretty stable for most of the past year. It's a difficult process, but It's really good that you're reaching out and learning about the illness. I'm no expert, but if I can help you out in any other way feel free to send me a DM.
Oh - and don't hesitate to write down your questions and ask your doc. If she's good she'll help to explain her choice of meds, her approach to treatment, and will address any concerns you have about side effects you've encountered.
I also like these books
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
You need to learn the right skills to go back on her meds. Neither you nor her want her to potentially fall into a 2 year long depression when her mania is over.
These books outline the LEAP method. it works really well on ppl who don't want to take their meds.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401303463/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabt1_B2BTFb0T90FXN
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0985206705/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabt1_S5BTFbW5N93K7
I can’t echo dbt enough!! There’s a cheap book on it on amazon. I’ll try to find it and link it.
Edit here it is
I have a fitbit with a built-in guided breathing exercise. There's apps for that sort of thing too, but it's nice to have on my wrist.
I also use an app that has bilateral audio stimulation (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.overcomingpain.anxiety) if I'm in a place I can pop in ear buds. Neither are "cures" but both will help take the edge off a bit.
When I was first diagnosed I read "Bipolar for Dummies"
https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Dummies-Candida-Fink/dp/1119121868/
Believe it or not it helped tremendously. I gave copies to those closest to me that I revealed my illness to as well.
>AA and NA are cults.
There is a pretty good book called "The Power of Habit" that touches on why the higher power thing is in AA - it can help to maintain a habit of (say) not drinking. The "higher power" doesn't need to be religious though - substituting any kind of cause could also work.
My psychiatrist recommended Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning". It's a short book, largely autobiographical about his experiences in concentration camps. It's honest, doesn't patronize or pander. It helped get me out of a many months long depression.
Meds take a long time to get right, and your body chemistry changes over time and they need to be readjusted now and then.
Lucid times for a bipolar patient do feel different, at least for me. I feel awake and connected and able to focus. I can usually tell my state of being by what kind of things I'm drawn to reading (old comfort books, comics, fantasy fluff, or serious works of fiction), and if I'm able to do any writing.
Herman Hesse has always been a great help to me. Siddartha, Narcissus and Goldmund, and Demian are the books I have read by Hesse, and I just started Steppenwolf, though I haven't been reading at a very rapid rate the past couple days.
Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl is a fantastic book, though it is considered more psychology than philosophy, I consider it to have great insights on life, and its struggles, so could be considered philosophy. And oftentimes the two subjects are contemporaries.
Artist of Life by Bruce Lee, very helpful for me.
Prison Writings: My life's My Sundance by Leonard Peltier, influenced my life more than any other. Amazing book, though can be very difficult to read at times, which is true for Man's Search for Meaning as well.
As people have been saying, Buddhist philosophy is wonderful. Writings by the 14th Dalai Lama, or The Bodhisattva of Compassion are fantastic, though usually short and simple, in my limited experience reading his words.
Good luck, hope you are well
You are Swedish living in Sweden? Your medical care should be among the best I the world, yes? More than a few Americans envy the Nordic countries and what we are told is a more balanced and equitable society.
Exercise and meditation are among the best non prescription sleep hygiene habits.
Try playing this lecture by one of the foremost experts in mindfulness. Consider it a free introduction to the practice that you can listen to. The end includes an extended guided meditation that might make you sleepy enough to nod off: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc
A book that he contributed to which helped me a great deal at one point: "The Mindful Way Through Depression".
He also authored a well known book "Full Catastrophe Living" and is the principle creator of an established mindfulness therapeutic practice offered by US hospitals called, "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction" from which "Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy" was later derived.
Look into these. They can help you settle into sleep. No prescription required. The books are cheap if you are interested.
What helps me with the cringe feeling is the Zen idea of constant change. You are not the same person you were when you did that stuff. Each experience changes who we are, to some degree. The fact that it makes you cringe actually means that you've become a better person.
There are lots of good quotes about it. "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" by Shunryu Suzuki, is full of them.
My moods would vary. Sometimes I'd be energetic and productive and happy. Other times, anxious, angry and productive, or not so much depending on how many things I found irritating that day(and subsequently throwing temper tantrums). Sometimes I was depressed, sad, lethargic... Other times, depressed, angry and homicidal. I would race cars on the freeway if they cut me off or did something else I perceived as aggressive (tailgating, keeping pace with me in the next lane, etc). I'm not sure if what I was experiencing is considered a mixed state or not. The point here is that there was always a different combination of mood, emotion and energy level, making it hard to pinpoint triggers and utilising appropriate coping skills.
I am now on 3 different meds, plus B vitamins etc. I have not had a mood swing since I started Lithium almost a year ago. I feel 'normal' for the first time in my life. I no longer have rage issues, no more road rage (well, bad drivers are still irritating, but I don't feel the need to race them or show them who is boss of the road). I still have mood fluctuations, but I think that is a normal part of life. What I am not having are random swings that have no real correlation to what's going on in my life. I hope that helps and that your doctor is a little more pro-active in figuring out a proper treatment....Try keeping a mood log every day. A book that helped me a lot was...The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. Burnes (Burns?) The mood log will help you notice patterns, like are you starting your period when a certain mood strikes? Is your weight fluctuating? If you are taking meds, did you forget to take it one day and experience a mood swing the next day? or 3 days later? Does drinking alcohol affect your mood? Things like that can be recorded. Good luck!
I watched their trailer on the website. It seemed to be a compilation of people laughing and crying for no reason and saying strange things.
Maybe they just made a bad trailer for their film.
edit: this trailer
You could try Straterra (It's a non-amphetamine) and probably won't cause you to go Manic. Maybe try toning down the coffee a bit too. A great website to get First-Hand advice is: http://www.patientslikeme.com/home
You can find people who are similar to you and ask them their experiences! Check it out man, it's helped me a lot. http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_heywood_the_big_idea_my_brother_inspired.html I Found out about it through this TED video.
I think you can trust this brand. It works for me. I also use their magnesium blend for sleep. I have found it to be very potent, and if you look at their literature on their site and contact customer service, I think they will be able to reassure you. https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Labs-L-5-Methyltetrahydrofolate-Supplement-Quatrefolic/dp/B01N0QV85S
Look up meetup.com where you live and there might be a few free meet up groups. I go to Brahma Kumaris classes once in a while and they're pretty relaxed and don't require any set beliefs or religion to take part.
Man, if you were me, I would recommend myself to get a therapist, get a workbook of exercise, and commit to a schedule of working on them. Just like ACT, DBT, self-compassion, standard stuff. ACT is good for psychosis and delusional thoughts. Look at the reviews of this book yo https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346 If you can't afford it look it up on libgen
My personal advice to you man, is get some sleep. Take care of yourself, brush your teeth, go for a walk, call your family, make yourself a nice meal, take a break from thinking. Go for a run, but get your headphones to play you the news. Don't think about anything... take a break, take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and when you are ready, come back to science and medicine and practice science, don't do the previous thing... that's not you... you are just the consciousness having this experience, the rest is your brain, you didn't choose or design that, but you need to relax, in order to design the new thing...
Trust me, just get some sleep, get a stable routine, stick with therapy, and try whatever your doctors ask you to try, maybe only 1/3 works, but over time, that becomes what you need
Hello, I don’t have a bipolar disorder but I do have people in my life with this experience. I’ld like to say that even when we all have issues in life, is good that you work in accepting all the situations, part of accepting is analysis (which you are doing) and filling that “guilty” with acceptance is something that if involves someone else, will be better to do with them. So try to always have people around you that kinda get your process, it won’t be always perfect, and also people who tries to understand your process won’t always have the right words (like when we say “oh yes I’ve felt that too”) and we know is not the same, but is just a way to try to sympathize or understand, my sister in law made a book and it’s called “Graphic Tales From a Manic Mind” every Wednesday she reads one of those stories live on twitter, she also shares them on Spotify but twitter is interactive. And I think relating to some of those stories might be good https://www.amazon.com/Graphic-Tales-Manic-Mind-Bravo/dp/8418665858 here is the book and also she is @irmissima on tw
I'm interested in synchronicity / Jung and I suppose through having a dual diagnosis with OCD, have attached a lot of meaning to numbers and signs at various points. Growing up in a very religious environment (catholic) was also a factor, so it's partly cultural.
I wrote my dissertation on superstition and gender. Also quite a few people, particularly women I've worked with over the past few years (in jobs focused on numbers and detail) have been superstitious - tarot cards and star signs, despite being very intelligent, otherwise rational people.
Years ago someone on this forum posted about tarot cards and I started reading about them out of curiosity. Then listening to youtube readings while going to sleep as background noise. I became interested in the idea that this is relevant to certain therapy techniques (as a form of meditation / thinking about situations in abstract) and found that there are already several books on it.
Edit - forgot to add that 'Um' meditation has been linked to triggering psychosis in some people.
So now you want it to be medical? Before it was just complaining about people using a word in common use to describe a behaviour they have, which is worsened by their diagnosis.
Hi!
You can make your own flavoured water infusing your favourite fruit in water - you can even buy apposite water bottles like https://www.amazon.co.uk/V-VAPE-Infusion-Bottle-Infuser-Hydration/dp/B079Y8Q9RW/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?crid=3N0Q76GTNFSTG&keywords=fruit+infusion+water+bottle&qid=1662618956&sprefix=fruit+infusion%2Caps%2C137&sr=8-5 or they make tea bags that you can put in cold water (but I personally think plain old fruit is a lot nicer and probably healthier too!!)
I couldn’t handle any of the birth control options on the market. They all made my bipolar symptoms worse and the paragard my body partially expelled. We ended up using natural family planning and condoms. Take charge of your fertility book
Yes, bipolar people usually don’t accept their diagnosis and go off meds. I relate. I did it too. But that was a harmful action for me to take that made my life worse. I have learned to take my meds and meet with my doctor. I was given meds that really work if I take them exactly as ordered to.
I would recommend the book “Loving someone with bipolar disorder” My husband and I have read through it. I think your wife and you would really benefit from the exercises in there. You wife would write down all the symptoms she sees in you. Your eyes will be opened by seeing your behavior through her eyes in detail. She will feel supported if you listen to her.
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1608822192/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YQFAET74SDHZX6MVPV2H
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience living undiagnosed and untreated for so long, and the difficulties with your mother not wanting to get you tested. I can relate, my mother is religious as well and didn’t really believe in mental health issues like Bipolar or ADHD until I was diagnosed late in life (ADHD at 29 and bipolar I just last year at 33).
I do agree, I tried propanalol and it did zero for anxiety. It did help a tremor I have in my hands though.
This book has been incredibly helpful for me!
The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, Third Edition: What You and Your Family Need to Know https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462534988/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_18DD3XNJDKXTXSRRBP2K
And this one, although “intended” for others in your life to support you, also helped me significantly with ADHD. It may even be helpful for your mom. I bought a copy of this for my mom and she’s going through it now. :)
When an Adult You Love Has ADHD: Professional Advice for Parents, Partners, and Siblings https://www.amazon.com/dp/143382308X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Y280PTX2D3HDCTG5H2K1
Taking electrolyte packets is a great idea but they have quite a bit of sodium in there if you're sensitive to tastes. Gatorade may be a better option for you.... Also we go hiking and camping quite a bit. Squatting isn't always ideal so I bought one of these. It's weird at first but it's pretty handy in certain moments
Female Urination Device, Female Urinal Silicone Funnel Urine Cups Portable Urinal for Women Standing Up to Pee Funnel Reusable Women Pee Funnel, Outdoor, Activities, Camping (Fuchsia) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086YGFJNK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_QM3NM3TYEYZJKJG61CEF
Sony WH-1000XM4 Wireless Industry Leading Noise Canceling Overhead Headphones with Mic for Phone-Call and Alexa Voice Control, Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0863TXGM3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ERTDTA10H77AJK8DDWM2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 I’m into these But these do good as well
Beats Solo Pro Wireless Noise Cancelling On-Ear Headphones - Gray (Renewed) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084Z7CNH9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NF3DVD8KYY3XG9N0CV2X
Well you might want to buy The DBT Workbook for Bipolar Disorder, they sell it on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Disorder/dp/1572246286/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=9048WVU942K3&keywords=dbt+workbook+bipolar&qid=1647377532&sprefix=dbt+workbook+bi%2Caps%2C128&sr=8-1 I don’t know of a specific online group or anything like that but there are tons of articles and workbooks and references to DBT online. The best way to find an in person group is to look for an intensive outpatient program or partial hospitalization program that offers it, but you would need to be Sick enough to meet admission criteria for those.
I’m currently reading “Set Boundaries Find Peace” and it’s excellent 👍they also have a workbook for it and the book has prompts.
Your post on here IMO showed a very overwhelming flood of feelings/thoughts that I think DBT could help with.
I listen to podcasts a lot too on topics that relate to my feelings like bipolar or trauma ect cause I think it can be grounding, like hearing stuff that directly relates and makes you feel validated.
Oprah’s new trauma book is great on audible. I thought it was a lot more helpful than the body keeps score, at least for me to digest some of the info.
I’ve used workbooks like this: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_ZFB6KMMKNP08S8XM224G
I don't usually eat breakfast so I do them for lunch + dinner. I add a scoop of protein because you won't be getting much with just these. I use flavorless protein and throw it in either chocolate or strawberry (havent tried the others).
You can either buy their oil (it comes with the subscription) or buy a huge jug of avocado oil for $45 from amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ATAI4HC/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 This thing will last months
The process:
Takes me 5 minutes to make 10 of these if that
There is a really great table in this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Approach-Mood-Disorders-Unipolar-Practical/dp/0393711463/ref=nodl_
I use it when I start to get hypomanic and my boyfriend helps me classify my behaviors as well. I find it really useful to inform when I might need more meds. I wish I could paste a picture of the table here, but I can’t find it in link form.
Adding an antihistamine could lead to an unsafe drop in blood pressure, depending on what you're taking and the dosages. Also, maybe it's the antihistamine effect of the Seroquel that is drying out your nose. You could try a saline nose rinse like this one I use. Also a warm mist humidifier could really help.
Hmm... well I guess it'd have to be called, My Brain Is Trying To Kill Me. because that's the book I wrote about my bipolar life ;)
Sleep hygiene is essential.
If all else fails, try looking for zopiclone or zolpidem . Avoid taking something like Benadryl for more than a couple nights as it's antihistamine effects will end up backfiring.
You are certainly not alone with this. In fact, I recommend you read through past posts (esp. this one: mixed episodes. Before I found this sub, I thought I was the only one having that constant drone of self hate. Turns out, nooope! Welcome to the club, kiddo.
And again, I can't stress enough that if you want to get a grip on this, you need to first get help with getting completely clean. Alcohol is one of the absolute worst things for bipolar. And trust me when I say, I speak from experience. Is it easy? Hell no! However, I was finally able to stop when I decided to give the meds a chance. Please talk to your psych about Lamictal, as it has been proven in studies to help ( see here )significantly reduce the desire/craving for alcohol, so is worth talking about. It certainly helped me, but everyone is unique, and I'm not a doctor, so like I said, ask about it.
Again, you are by no means alone in this. I'd say most of us on these two forums have a) some degree of social penguinism, and b) have relied on some sort of self-medicating to ease our troubled minds at some point in time.
One day at a time, give the meds time to work, talk to your psych about your self-medicating issues (trust me, it won't come as a shock, lol), and ask about Lamictal (lamotrigine).
Hey I been learning via YouTube and google.....you'll be amazed at what you find here. But im looking at front-end/full stack development. i don't know what your interested in learning but I found www.theodinproject.com its been really helpful its also really hard they just through you into stuff you got to figure it out but you learn more that way. If your interested in web development, I'd definitely check it out. I'm only about 3 weeks into it but its challenging and fun for me I enjoy it. Good luck with whatever you choose.
My memory has been struggling for a few years. I think since I started lamictal but I have just realized it over the last 4 months.
I like to look back at my Snapchat memories to see pictures videos that I took a year ago. That seems to help. I also enjoy looking back through my Instagram and try to post on that when anything big happens or any memories I want to share.
Since January 2020 I have been using a journal called one sentence a day. The journal is big enough that you could write one sentence every day for 5 years in the same book. I decided instead of one sentence I would write five highlights from that day. So each book lasts me a year.
Sometimes I struggle keeping up with it and have to go back and write for a few days or few weeks that I have missed it. But when I do keep up on it I really appreciate being able to look back. If I open a journal from 2020 and read those five sentences I wrote, I can almost recall the whole day. Or at least certain memories will stand out.
I only spend about 5 minutes at night riding those five sentences and some days are more detailed than others. But even if I just wrote the one sentence highlight of that day, I could probably remember the specific day looking back.
The Happiness Project One-Sentence Journal: A Five-Year Record
Stay strong 👊
This book really helped contextualize my dx. With self-compassion
Although I have had brain tingling sensations on new meds I can't say that I've had them to the degree you're speaking of. This video is interesting and related to strokes.
Here is webmd list:
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/schizophrenia-long-lasting-drugs
It’s a delivery system that allows injection of many different types of antipsychotic drugs.
One shot in the butt, and she’ll be medicated for at least a couple weeks.
I actually came across an anime series that is pretty interesting. This particular episode is "What is a panic disorder?". I'm listing this video because I know that Bi-Polar is one of the most misdiagnosed illnesses and mistaken for just depression, just anxiety, etc. The name of the anime is called "Comical Psychosomatic Medicine", the show overall should not be taken super seriously but the mild comic relief and reassuring message in this particular video is good. :) Good luck all you out there.
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https://www.crunchyroll.com/comical-psychosomatic-medicine/episode-6-what-is-panic-disorder-669473
i hear you. i believe in the validity of my experiences. in processing my manic episodes, i've chosen to give them validity because i have to believe in myself at the end of the day, chosen to give myself agency, and not write off my thoughts and erase my experiences. for my own sanity lol i had to engage with my manic and psychosis and reintegrate into myself. and yeah definitely a fine line between psychosis and the divine 100%%
but i am really curious how people interpret suddenly thinking they are god during a bp manic episode or bp specific psychosis, especially if they weren't religious before. it is fascinating to me and there isn't enough research on it!
i read this article a bit ago and wish there was more research on it https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/%E2%80%9CThe-Awful-Rowing-toward-God%E2%80%9D%3A-Interpretation-of-by-Ouwehand-Zock/39cddd967003dc2d5bdc6babe3f11bc781d905b5.
For anxiety I take 2 5MG valium spaced out between the day. I also have sub-lingual xanax in case of acute panic attacks but it makes me really sleepy so its a 'use only in case of emergency' drug for me. I also avoid caffeine for the most part and things have gotten much better since adding 10,000 IU of vitamin D every morning. Bloodwork revealed I was EXTREMELY low on vitamin D, I essentially had none; and many people argue the 'normal range' is to low to begin with and even if you test normal you might benefit from some supplementation.
As of a few days ago I've been taking 20mg Adderall IR 1x daily which seems to be helping me channel my overwhelming thoughts and energy into productive rather then counter productive avenues. I was nervous because caffeine seemed to be contributing to the anxiety but I've had no such affects from the Adderall nor from other stimulants (I've used cocaine a few times recreationaly since developing the anxiety issues)
Yeah, but you won't get whole genome data for under $1k. All of the commercially available places only look for certain pieces of data. It's about 0.025%*, they only look for stuff we know exists.
I struggled a lot not to take this kind of medication, but it was a vicious circle. Now after a few temsp I'm starting to decrease. Massive anxiety is a real handicap and you can get help, a good doctor will understand that, especially if you explain to him that you are anxious to be anxious ! And if you have never taken any, it will probably be small doses. Be brave and dare to listen to you. Glad If i made the point !
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Yep I do ! In this case I push my rationality to the maximum and try not to stress myself further if there is nothing I can do. If I can do something about it, I try as long as it doesn't pull me down. And I listen a lot to others always as long as I don't let it get me down. If it does, I listen to myself, I explain that my handicap forbids me from doing so and I step aside for a moment. I hope I understood your request. Sorry for my fuzzy English
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For many years I screwed up a lot, and now that I've gotten older and found the right treatment it rarely happens but it still happens sometimes. I live in a small village and everyone has seen me screw up. I used to dye of shame every time and I didn't want to go out anymore, I didn't want to run into people and I also wanted to move as far away as possible. But I told myself that I would screw up somewhere else too and then it would be the same thing over and over again. Now I explain to others my handicap, screwing up is part of that handicap, and I tell myself that there is no more shame in having it than any other handicap. You don't blame a blind man for not seeing: I don't blame myself for my manic phases. I try to explain and accept. Sorry my English is not very good and maybe what I am saying is not very clear. Courage.
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When I'm well I put some little money aside so I can spoil myself when things go bad and I can't get out of my comfort zone, the couch. I accept it, I don't struggle anymore and offer myself as much comfort as possible: clean and soft cushions, a nice blanket, fresh fruit juice and if it's really a disaster to be able to offer myself a cleaning lady for one hour a week. That way when things get a bit better I don't have to clean up a war zone.
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Lamictal can cause some cognitive issues, which can be pretty frustrating. It's unfortunate that a lot of meds have side effects.
Anyway, if you are on your computer a lot, another option is using desktop widgets. Microsoft used to have desktop gadgets but they removed support for them, but you can still get them back using third-party programs. Here's one guide.
I used to use Konfabulator back in the day. What I liked about it was I could see what I needed to do by just glancing at the screen and I could prioritise items.
Another option is Outlook On The Desktop. It puts the Outlook calendar directly onto your desktop.
Mind you, these are all third-party programs so always use with caution, and have a good antivirus.
I'm really sorry you've had a hard time.
"I went to a GP and asked for anti-depressants. He said he wouldn't prescribe them to me and said it would be best if I see a mental health specialist and he did the referral."
I also live in the UK and once you've been diagnosed with bipolar here GPs generally won't prescribe psychiatric medicine beyond beta blockers. The risk of SSRIs and SNRIs is far too high.
I started seeing my GP for bipolar symptoms in 2002 and was diagnosed in 2013. I got discharged last year in remission, partly because I was fed up of dealing with repeatedly cancelled appointments.
I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I like that the NHS doesn't jump in too fast to diagnose and medicate unless certain. However, a few months or a year would be sufficient, not a decade.
I know your post was just about medication, though I've found free mindfulness classes through meetup.com a lot more helpful than the therapy I tried through the NHS. I don't go that often, so usually only in a very stressed or down phase. You might find it beneficial too. The one I go to is like a mix of DBT and a lecture.
I don't use facebook, twitter and so on, though like meetup.com since you only really interact in person and it barely counts as social media. I do like a few reddit accounts though - my local city one is funny, then /r/britishproblems and /r/blogsnark. That's all I ever check.
I'm not a parent (yet), however I know first hand how much environment plays a role in how bad you end up being. I was fairly stable (minus the typical moody teenager stuff) until my mother passed away suddenly when I was seventeen. I'd say that's what 'triggered' my whole bipolar thing. Who knows whether or not if I would had developed this had that not happened, but I will say I was very much able to keep my mood in check before it did. I think one of the key things is my mother was very perceptive of how I was doing emotionally, and was always there for me to talk to and to give me support.
I do some day want to have kids, and I will be sure to be mindful of how they're doing and try to make an environment where they feel safe coming to me with anything.
I think you already are showing you care: you're already worrying about the mental well being of a child who doesn't even exist yet. I think a lot of good can come of having a bipolar partner, as long as you two keep things open from the get go and make it a point to be mindful of your children.
A motto of mine is that we're all f-ed up in some way or another, some of us just have to take pills for it :)
Check out this app It's free and helped me save enough to pay all my debt. There's an iOS version too
Another thing is when I had money to save, I put it into a separate savings account and just gave it to my mom to hold onto, with the instructions to only give it to me if I have an emergency
I didn’t know I was bipolar until after my Pregnancies. So unmedicated during pregnancy. You can do it either way. It’s only nine months. My Bipolar started after a total hysterectomy at 50 years. I used herbal therapies for my emotional Needs. https://www.amazon.com/Wise-Woman-Herbal-Childbearing-Year/dp/0961462000/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=1W7GF531ZH6M&keywords=herbal+for+the+childbearing+year&qid=1639734117&sprefix=herbal+fir+%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-3 I hope this helps.
Get unisom with Doxylamine succinate (same place as Tylenol pm in the grocery store). It's a different sleep med that works really well. If you reacted to benadryl you'll react to all the PM medications except for this one. Also try melatonin.
https://www.amazon.com/Unisom-Sleep-Tabs-Tablets-48-Count/dp/B002CVV1JO
Did a basic google search and got sufficient info. The big thing they talk about is getting rid of blue light prior to bed time.
In the event your lithium ever proves insufficient and you want to try supplementing your medication regimen with what could be described as dark therapy this app thingy I was introduced to (through this sub) alters the coloring of your screen to modify your circadian stuff.
PS thanks for the cool answer
Similar story in regards to the % of time my wife is, for lack of a better word, 'stable.' I love her more than anything in the world and know how difficult it is to deal with her when she is in a depressed swing but it comes with the territory. I wrote an article similar to this if you want to check it out: http://hubpages.com/relationships/My-Wife-is-Bipolar-and-Sometimes-It-Sucks