Klay is fucking amazing at staying in the present. I always found the jokes about Klaytheism extra funny because he really does embody the spirit of a lot of meditative practices.
I suspect he reads a physical newspaper for the same reason a lot of people prefer real books, or the reason some people prefer going to games over watching them on TV. The whole physical, visceral, tangible nature of the newspaper or book or concert or show or game engages your physical senses as well as providing the standard intellectual stimulation- with something like a newspaper or book, that can be very calming in a way that also keeps you mentally focused (rather than the kind of calmness and relaxation that might make you a bit sleepy, or less engaged).
In other words, the newspaper actually physically grounds him the present moment by providing more sensory input- the smell, the texture, the weight, even the mechanical folding and unfolding and rearranging etc. etc., it's almost like a practice run for getting 'in the zone'- when you're so absolutely calmly focused on what you're doing that scoring 37 in a quarter is as reflexive and instinctual as turning to the back for the brain teasers.
I know it might sound a bit off the wall but seriously, almost every form of meditation has some variation of grounding yourself in the present by guiding you through your 5 senses. I doubt Klay started his ritual with that in mind but I'm also not surprised that it works so well for him.
edit: for those interested in meditation I recommended trying the guided meditations here and here. I also found Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach pretty informative but tbh I don't I don't really like her voice, which is a shame considering how many great guided meditations she has up.
Also here's a great explanation of how I see meditation, courtesy of Batman (kinda)
Suicide and self-harm is an epidemic that is especially devestating on young adult males (3x higher), one of the core demographics of gamers.
Below are some links that provide information, tools, and resources:
LifeLine Crisis Hotline
Likewise, Headspace is an awesome community and resource for young adults to get access to all sorts of mental health care resources and tools.
Plus, they partnered with the Oceanic Pro League to do an awareness week.
I've been trying out an App called Headspace for the last month. I'm not normally into that kind of stuff, but I must say, I do find it to have a very positive effect on my anxiety level.
EDIT: For anyone wondering, it is guided meditation. Yeah, I know, meditation sounds like something spiritual and what not, but the concept is super simple. I recommend you try their free pack; it is 10 sessions at 10 minutes per day. Super easy to get into.
One of the best ways for beginners would be to use an application called HeadSpace. It helps a lot with learning proper technique and with motivation, guiding you through the process and providing many different types of meditations, including a meditation for anxiety. For more information, click here: https://www.headspace.com/meditation/anxiety.
Personally, I've been using the app for a couple of months now and I'm really enjoying it. Never meditated as much as I do now.
Your phones's screen will actually keep you awake longer than it would if you turned it off and lay in the darkness..
So it's not a game, but MoonReader Pro will turn any ebook into an audiobook, or you could listen to a guided meditation on Headspace or Insight Timer.
I've started a new morning routine that is making me feel much better, plus helping me lose more weight.
Try spending ten minutes an evening doing an online mindfulness course like Headspace. Learning to switch off your brain before sleep is not easy, but mindfulness has really helped a lot of people I know who have an over busy mind or trouble sleeping.
There are many different types of meditation. When we are taught about meditation, we are often only taught about one or a handful styles.
Here is a link to 16 types of meditation. That is not exhaustive.
Meditation exists in cultures across the globe and history. There are almost as many types of meditation as there are people. Just because you don’t mesh with one style doesn’t mean you cannot meditate.
I have that same feeling when I'm around heights. Apparently it's a real thing.
>“What we found is that people were misinterpreting a safety signal from their brains, which are always firing so fast,” Hames said. “In that situation (when you’re on a cliff, or a bridge, or driving past an oncoming car), your mind is actually saying, ‘You’re in an unsafe situation—back up from the ledge.’ People usually obey that signal and back up. But we can misinterpret that and think, ‘I must have reacted that way because I wanted to jump.’”
I just started this working on this perk a few days ago. So far it seems that the reward to time commitment ratio is quite high. Would recommend getting a tutorial plug-in to get started. Been using the Headspace tutorial myself.
Definitely me as well. It really sucks, and if MS is feeling like this I have to say I feel sorry for her. Here are some articles that have helped me:
https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/04/08/high-functioning-anxiety/ (this one uses mindfulness to help, and it does work for me. I also use the Christian version, called SoulSpace.)
What really sucks about HFA is that on the outside it looks like you have everything together. Meanwhile inside you are a panicked, overworked, tried mess. I hope these help 💕
For people who need resources: try some of the free meditations offered by Headspace. They can help with the anxiety and Zoom fatigue. There are also free video workout classes which can also help. Also seek out therapy if you need it! There's a low cost clinic here that you can receive services from using telehealth.
While the organizations have failed us, we can still support one another.
P.S.: For the anxiety, I suggest something like Headspace - not queer related, but a lot of my friends swear by it, and I've started doing it recently and I'm feeling quite positive about it!
You tailed a guy for 10km because of a perceived slight on the road?
This should be more helpful than a TP report:
Part of it is tough training runs. You can train yourself to endure more pain. There was a study done with swimmers that showed two things: 1) endurance athletes have a higher pain tolerance, but the same pain threshold, than non-endurance athletes. This means that the athletes registered pain at the same time as the non-athletes, but they could tolerate it much better. 2) They showed that pain tolerance increased as the season went on, meaning that it increased with training. If you're having a tough run, remember, you're building your pain tolerance.
Another thing to try is mindfulness meditation. Studies have shown that this helps with athletic performance. There are several books on Amazon about it. Also, here's a site that does streaming mindfulness meditation (it's commercial).
The last thing is doing brain workouts. Alex Hutchinson has done a couple of articles on training for a marathon while also doing mind puzzles before/after his long runs. The research is still fuzzy in this area, but it may have some impact. You do get mentally tired after a physically exhausting run.
Not OP, but whenever this question is asked I always recommend Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris for a general overview what mindfulness is all about and what is a scientific reason behind it. But if you are struggling with consistency of your practice, I would give Headspace a try, it really made me sit every day for past three months and meditate.
You'll want to take the holistic approach.
Take a few supplements to increase your energy - B-complex, NADH, Co-Q10.
Have a regular sleep pattern, ideally 8-9 hours sleep.
Exercise daily. Try this app: http://moveitmove.it
Meditate in the morning. Makes your more mindful of your thoughts. Try this app: https://www.headspace.com
Organise your life. Often having your environment and computer unorganised makes yourself feel unorganised. A tidy house is a tidy mind.
Get a to-do app and write down the things you want to happen. Wunderlist is a great free one.
EDIT: The big one would be to take LSD, but is a bit too 'out there' for many.
I'm so glad you're still here!
Sometimes it's hard to afford therapy, I know. I used to use a free website called MoodGym for online CBT and it helped so much untangling my thoughts.
I've also used Headspace for mindfulness meditation, just to get a little quiet sometimes.
I hope things get better for you soon. They will one day, I promise.
You're right, it is difficult, but that's a sign that it's worth your time! Start easy, 15 minutes whenever you can. There are some guided meditations out there. Two apps to check out: Headspace and 1 Giant Mind. Both are free (although headspace is just a trial).
I understand why you might be scared about it. Our mind plays some pretty wild tricks on us, if you let it. "The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master" is the common quote. The cool thing is that you can take control -- ultimately you are the pilot of your conscious experience and can willfully steer in the direction of greater happiness and understanding. Looking at it like this, doing nothing is more scary, right?
I'd say most adults do not meditate regularly, but it has begun to be more popular in the western world recently, tying in with the acceptance of yoga and other traditionally eastern practices. Don't worry about learning about this late, now is a good a time as any to start!
Hello! I haven’t used this yet, so I can’t speak to the quality of services or ease of it, but LA County and Headspace partnered together last year and are continuing to offer services to residents for free. Might be worth checking out!
A couple of tips I've picked up from being an introvert at overbearing family gatherings over the years:
"Oh man, all this great food has knocked me out, I'm going to go for a nap" is a great excuse. Most families find this relatable, and respond positively when you compliment the cooking.
Jump on any opportunity to help in the kitchen, chopping wood, cleaning up, whatever. This keeps your hands and mind busy, minimizes conversation, and generally will incline your hosts to feel warmly towards you.
If your anxiety is getting bad, meditate. Go to your bedroom or a bathroom, sit down, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing for a couple of minutes. The Headspace app is free and has great little bite-sized guided meditations that are 3-6 minutes apiece.
Find safe conversation topics. If you can figure out what someone loves to talk about (that isn't politics or social issues), ask them lots of questions and get them to tell you more. If you can get someone going on a topic they love, then you can just sit back and listen. You might even find something you have in common and then you can save that information for next year.
When the toxic political/social opinions DO come out, remember that you can listen without engaging or agreeing. A lot of what they're saying may be designed to provoke you - do your best to stay detached, and remember that this is NOT a hill that you have to die on. "You don't say" or "Good to know" or "Is that so?" are good neutral responses that keep the conversation flowing without explicitly agreeing with anything.
Hope these help! <3
Actually there is a lot of anecdotal evidence and now some perlimeary studies that people who have developed a strong and consistent meditation practice long term they do exhibit the need for less sleep.
I have been part of monastery where one of the most advanced meditators only needed about 4 hours of sleep a night.
"In long term meditators, multiple hours spent in meditation are associated with a significant decrease in total sleep time when compared with age and sex matched controls who did not meditate. Whether meditation can actually replace a portion of sleep or pay-off sleep debt is under further investigation."
"Interestingly, anecdotal evidence suggests that long-term expert meditators need significantly less sleep. In fact, according to some Buddhist texts, a full night’s sleep totals approximately four hours among proficient meditators."
Headspace - This app has really helped look after my mental health through learning how to meditate. It's simple, short, and doesn't have the airy-fairy stuff usually associated with meditation.
https://stronglifts.com/5x5/ - it's objectively not the best way to get stronger, except that it is, because you'll actually follow it.
https://www.headspace.com/ - it seems like a bunch of woo-woo hooie bullshit. It ain't. Changed my life in a month.
https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/ - get your shit together and don't buy six goddamn lowers for fuck's sake is it more than six I can't even count I am so mad why do I care about what you do didn't I just say I took up meditation
But for real though - who do you expect to be attracted to a bunch of lowers.
Might be worth talking to a psychologist to see if you have postpartum depression (PPD), as some in this thread have suggested.
More generally might be good to work on surfing those difficult thoughts, emotions, and impulses. Check out the book THE ILLUSTRATED HAPPINESS TRAP and the Headspace app (for example).
Source: Am psychologist.
I would check out Super Better. It's a program/app/thing? designed by a woman who was suffering from depression as a result of an injury. The idea is to gameify feeling better along with the community they're building.
Someone else mentioned meditation. Headspace is a decent mindfulness meditation app that walks you through it if you're new to meditation (or experienced) and would like some anytime support.
I also like to pick a specific walk that I do regularly, slowly. From the kitchen to the bathroom - those 20 steps - take 5 minutes to walk it. From the front door to the car... anything. Just really slowly. "Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet." - Thich Nhat Han
Journaling never worked for me until I did a combination of methods. I have a journal that I filled out with a bunch of quotes and poems on random pages to read and inspire me when I eventually get to them. I write when I feel like it. Sometimes it's once a month. Sometimes it's every day. I start every 'entry' with, "I am thankful for..." When I don't have the energy to write, I started doing a video journal on my computer.
Once a month I write an email update to friends, family, and mentors who have had an impact on my life. I share my basic whereabouts/activities, and things that I'm reading, trying, or wondering about. I find this is an easier way to stay in contact with people I "should" call or meet in person, but "can't".
I, also, work through depression and panic disorder. With loving kindness.
Σαν εμπειρία βοηθάει πολύ να εσωτερικεύσεις σκέψεις και συναισθήματα, να καθοδηγήσεις τον θυμό σου ή τα νεύρα σου σε λύσεις.
Προσωπικά, με κανονικό διαλογισμό (κλειστά μάτια σε μια στάσιμη θέση) εμένα με παίρνει ο ύπνος.
Αν δυσκολεύεσαι στο να "ησυχάσεις το μυαλό σου" σε ενα δωμάτιο με απόλυτη ησυχία, μπορείς επίσης να κάνεις διαλογισμό με μια απλή και ήρεμη βόλτα στη φύση.
Φέρνει τα ίδια αποτελέσματα και είναι μια καλή εναλλακτική αν δεν μπορείς να κάτσεις ακίνητος σε ενα σημείο*.
Επίσης apps οπως το Headspace μπορεί να σε βοηθήσουν.
*(Επίσης και στο γυμναστήριο γίνεται, αν είναι ψιλοήρεμο και με καλή μουσική στα αυτιά σου)
I would give meditation a shot. I know it might sound crazy to squeeze in 30 minutes a day to sit and do nothing. But I'm telling you, the nervous system needs a good recharge and it will do wonders to relax you.
I love this app, which has guided mediations: https://www.headspace.com/
I've tried -- mostly by trying "noting". Checking in with my mind and body about what's going on. When running, this can mean something like noting sensations in my legs, lungs, stomach; or feelings like anxiety or calm. It helps a little bit.
If you'd like to know more about meditation, head on over to /r/meditation. I'd like to think we're a friendly and relaxed bunch :)
There are several good mobile apps that can guide you through learning to meditate. Yes, /u/captLights provided all you really need to know to start doing mindfulness meditation, but it's really helpful to have a voice whispering in your ear reminding you to focus, and giving helpful advice when you have doubts or difficulties (and everybody finds it hard to meditate at some point).
Here are some mobile meditation apps to consider:
I use the first one there, but the other two look good as well. (I have no connection to any of them.)
If you're really interested in learning more about why meditation works, I can recommend a book called Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by the well-known atheist/skeptic/neuroscientist Sam Harris. (Just the fact that Sam meditates did a lot to alleviate my initial skepticism about the practice).
The easiest way I can think of is to install Headspace and use their guided meditations. The first 10 are free. After that, I recommend reading Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond.
Mindfulness in Plain English has changed my life by finally giving me enough knowledge and motivation to begin meditating. There are so many positive effects from meditation, I don't even know where I'd be today without it. Granted, I also used the Headspace app to start with guided meditation sessions (which are awesome by the way) but without the book I wouldn't be aware of how awesome meditation is.
Block out your week and revisit it weekly. I use the unschedule method and block out dedicated study hours for each class (3ish study hours per credit hour, generally, giving more for some than others). I try to make it so I’m visiting each class daily, either in person or in studying.
Never study for more than one hour at a time without at least a 20 min break. Your brain can’t take it.
Use the pomodoro method when studying/working.
For studying - active recall is more effective than memorization. You need to engage with your notes and ask yourself questions and answer them. Ali Abdaal has a good video on using Google sheets to do this.
Use your resources - the academic resource center has tutors for several subjects, some foreign language classes have cafes to practice with other students, the writing center is helpful for papers, and of course there’s your professor’s office hours!
Lastly, and most importantly, you really need to make sure you’re sleeping a regular schedule!! Get a routine and stick to it. All nighters do no one favors. By getting adequate sleep and nutrition you’re fueling your body for success.
I’ve also found mediation to be incredibly helpful. Headspace has a student discount . Their app teaches you to mediate in simple 10 min sessions.
I used to have the same presentation anxiety. For me, it went away when I had to present more (akin to exposure therapy). A brief 10-minute guided meditation (e.g. https://www.headspace.com/meditation/10-minute-meditation) a bit before the presentation may also help.
Address this as an overall mental health difficulty. The following can be helpful:
Meditate. It lets me dive in deeper so I can know what is causing it. Knowing the root cause -- usually some sort of deep fear or anxiety that has gotten triggered by a present situation, or unacknowledged anger -- allows me to think about and resolve the source, which in turn ends the hamster-wheel thoughts.
I'm no expert meditator, either. I usually just hook up with headphones and the Headspace app (the free "basics" sessions are all you need) and let that British guy do all the hard work of talking me into calm self-awareness, because if I could shut my mind up enough to meditate for real I wouldn't need to meditate, would I?
But it's all about knowing -why- your head won't shut up. Meditation might do it by itself, but even if it's not enough on its own, it's a great start on finding out the root cause: if your inner dialogue won't shut down at all then there's something behind it that you're not dealing with well, and you have to find out what.
Either way, it works for me. Good luck!
The Headspace app is pretty awesome. Walks you through it, just 10 min a day. Changed my life.
Instead of being driven by caffeine and angst, I feel way more in control since I've started meditation.
I'm the same way. I always compare myself to others and reassure myself that I have nothing serious. It took me a long time to finally see a psychologist. Guess what? The little things I had were moderate anxiety and severe depression. Yeah. Up until the day of the first appointment, I was trying to reason with myself and say that I was fine and didn't need to go. I went for months and just recently stopped going. For now, I am doing mindfulness with the Headspace app. I am going to make an appointment sometime and start going again.
I dreaded going to each appointment because I worried that it wasn't doing anything. Even so, it was like a breath of fresh air after every session. You may feel worse before feeling better. That's normal. Everything is a step to recovery. Also, I know it may be silly, but I was worried that I wouldn't actually have anything serious or that I may not get emotional enough during a session. I was also afraid I would minimize everything like I always do. It was tough at first, but as time went on, it got easier, little by little. I even cried during one session (which surprised me; I don't cry often).
No matter how big or small, your wellbeing and health are what are most important. Make an appointment with a therapist or psychologist and just go. It may be hard to make the first step and you may try to talk yourself out of it, but doing it and going are key factors to getting better.
I wish you well and hope you do make the first step to getting help. :)
It's ok, man. You're gonna be ok. Headspace is free right now, maybe you should give that a try. Unless you're in the bush right now. Or does the bush have internet? I don't want to be a moron for not knowing how things work in the bush.
From my own experience of planning my move to NZ and Wellington, it's good, and fun, to dream and plan for your future life but it is also very important to live in the now. Life happens NOW. We don't live in the future. I can highly recommend meditation for staying connected to the now. If you're new to meditation, I can also highly recommend the Headspace app. Good luck with your future plans.
Ich meditiere seit etwa 20 Tagen mit dem Einführungsprogramm von Headspace. Ich mache es immer noch und habe tatsächlich immer wieder weitergemacht, wenn ich einmal geschwänzt habe. Seit mir also gut zu tun.
If anyone is interested in the meditation app Gavin was (probably) talking about, it's Headspace! It has 10 days of free beginner's meditation and you can rewatch those as much as you want if you don't want to pay monthly.
I know Mood Gym is often recommended
Online CBT is quite well established these days. I know quite a few doctors and psychiatrists who would be positive about it.
On the topic of both mindfulness and meditation, try the Headspace program. I know it's been mentioned here before, but just in case someone hasn't seen it - it's made a world of difference for me and has kind of catapulted me into a different mindset. Or at least catapulted me far enough along the way that I can see what a huge difference it'll eventually make. This after a lengthy period of desperation, too.
Thanks for the list OP - we can never have too many options. The same things don't work for all of us.
+1 for Headspace.. It's the perfect thing if you're suffering from analysis paralysis, i.e. you don't start because you're trying to analyze what the 'best' way to start is.
Headspace is great because it takes all the analysis out of the equation. Everything is setup for you and you simply just follow the day by day progression, slowly increasing in length of meditation while being exposed to the foundations of Mindfulness practice.
Plus I love the guys voice. Check it out if you're looking for something to start with and don't know where to start.
People often slip back into old habits when with old people if that makes sense, “ it all comes down to factors that serve as triggers for behaviors, especially our environment. The formation of habits is a process that is etched into our neural pathways, according to Kristina Orlova, licensed marriage and family therapist. Habitual behaviors can be triggered by a number of things, such as your environment“
“Another theory is that when we’re with old friends, survival drives us to fall back into old ways of doing things, according to life coach Dr. Diana Robinson, who points to the very essence of the theory of evolution: those most able to adapt to change survive.
“The people we are with form the context and adaptation to the situational context is … important for survival,” Robinson explains. “We all like to think that we are independent in our behavior, but we often do not recognize how much we adapt in different contexts.”
Frequently, we adapt using habits we can trust because we have already tried them out within a given context. We have interacted with old friends and family frequently enough in the past and we know how they will behave and the best ways for us to respond.”
worth it. would also say its worth to do the free sessions of
https://www.headspace.com for their take on mindfulness & https://www.1giantmind.com for a take on /r/nondirective meditation
If you want something more indepth check this free course:
The other thing that helps me is meditation. Although it might seem like pseudoscience, meditation is really just training to relate to your own experience of the world in a healthier way (and anyone can do it). There are free meditation courses you can take like Headspace for example.
Worst case scenario you waste a few minutes.
Check out headspace. It's the best guided meditation app for beginners, in my opinion. Just follow Andy's voice and the rest should flow a little more organically.
You might find this recent post handy!
ADHD Time Management Apps. Alarmy and Seconds
I also really have to recommend downloading Headspace a meditation and mindfulness app.
If you've ever struggled with trying to meditate, or with quieting your mind, you need to download this app. It has an awesome 10-min/day, 10-day guided meditation program which has personally helped me get a much better handle on my adhd. It's also been one of (if not the most) effective methods of treatment for my on going battle with anxiety. Hope these suggestions help! :)
*Edit: Also to add, its not an app but a setting you can activate on your iphone for using it at night before bed. It basically does what F.lux and the android app Twilight do. This article explains how to do it - under 'Activating Night Shift'
It helps with regulating sleep schedules by "promoting tiredness". You do this through manually changing the screens temperature settings from cool blue light to warm red light. It's been shown that blue light inhibits the bodies natural production/regulation of melatonin - which aids restful sleep. I find it saves me from spending nights glued to my phone screen, seemingly not feeling tired, and redditing until all hours.
The best advice I ever got:
TAKE IT SLOW
Gradual changes are the only ones that last. Having a super strict diet, workouts, and abstaining entirely right off the bat is why you relapsed.
Plus, relapses are normal.
Psychology Today: Why Relapse Is Not A Sign Of Failure
All or Nothing thinking is another trap, which leads to what you described above.
Instead of, "I messed up my diet by eating X so I'll start over tomorrow/whenever" say to yourself "I'm going to do well for the rest of today to make up for it." Every little bit helps.
Mindfulness Meditation has been proven to improve mental health, assist in changing behavior, and regenerates grey matter in the brain. It helped me be okay with being present in the moment. Here's a website that offers guided meditation for beginners in 10 minutes a day.
Remember, you are a human BECOMING. Every step in the right direction, every good decision, means you are becoming the type of person who makes good decisions.
Each time you make the better choice is a victory in and of itself.
In 2012 I dropped my first semester of college because of social anxiety. That Fall I went on anxiety meds, and that spring I found mindfulness meditation. I'm 3 years into college now, and haven't taken my medication since that summer. Check out the headspace app and once you've tried the take ten series try the 15 and 20 series here: https://www.reddit.com/r/getsomeheadspacelinks
Prácticamente igual que la semana pasada, está siendo muy monótono todo :P. Casi todo póker.
Fuera de eso, al final decidí leer Memorias del Subsuelo, voy por la mitad. Cada vez amo más a Dostoievski.
En cuanto a música estoy escuchando mucho en francés (Zaz ♥, Indila, Yelle, Stromae, Brigitte, entre otros). Cuando me consiga sacar la paja voy a empezar a estudiar el idioma porque lo amo.
Y ya que estamos, aunque no tiene mucho que ver con la temática del post, hace casi un mes empecé a meditar (con la aplicación Headspace) y es una de las mejores cosas que hice en mi vida, así que se los recomiendo. Tienen /r/meditation también.
Practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes a day. Shit works like magic.
I was having a similar problem in my sales presentations--specifically that I was struggling to give clear, concise responses to follow-up questions and objections (which are make or break in sales). I knew where I wanted to go with my answers, but just couldn't get there.
So I started practicing mindfulness. After just a couple sessions I was sharp as a tack. It helps you get past all the thinking about saying what you want say and just get to bloody saying (or writing) it.
If you're not sure how to get started, try a great guided meditation app called Headspace. Don't pay for premium version of the app--everything you need to know is in the first 10 (free) sessions.
Dude, I'm 30 and had a similar thought spiral. But once you realize that your 20s are just that, a self-doubting spiral fueled by high levels of misplaced energy, and that 30 is where it's at, it get so much better. Even if somehow magically I get transported 10 years back, just because the way I was, you could hit me over the head with a frying pan, I still couldn't be able to prioritize well. Now at 30 I know what I want to do with my life. I'm leaving my corporate job, joining a startup. Rolled into programming classes for beginners which will extend into machine learning and big data science. My day starts out with a 15 min Headspace meditation and 30min of stretch yoga. I also work out 4 times a week at the gym (does wonders for confidence). This is my 2 year plan. What happens after that, who the hell knows. Also, dude, check this out.
This article by sam harris got me interested and now I am using https://www.headspace.com/ to stay on track. Sam Harris also got two guided meditations up on soundcloud: http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/mindfulness-meditation
Hypervigilance, your survivor stress levels are high and your body doesn't want to be relaxed or unaware. The flashbacks and panics are your minds way of trying to get you to stay alert because it thinks you are still in danger.
Long term your best bet is therapy, EMDR, to help your body and mind you don't need to be stress and anxious all the time and you can relax.
But there are things you can do yous self.
I usually exercises during the day to help lower my stress levels, and get my hypervigilance under control. I try to practice mindfulness during the day too, to stay in my environment and out of my head and away from my fears.
At night, I try to set a good bedtime routine, I meditate to calm down, this app works great. If I need to I will use positive sensory stimulation to set a really relaxing environment, oils, incense, soft light, soft sheets, weighted blankets, relaxing sounds, etc. The nice thing about the sensory stuff is that your subconscious mind picks it up too so it helps you to stay relaxed when sleeping too.
I used to have it waaaay worse than I do now. Yelling at my family over nothing, explosive relationships, hating people to death just for their knee touching mine on the bus.
Honestly, mindfulness is the way forward. It will feel hard and frustrating and stupid sometimes and your brain will rebel like crazy because you’ve had a lifetime to reinforce the feedback loops in your brain for rage. It’s now your go-to reaction and it won’t want to be replaced. But slowly and surely, you can atrophy that useless muscle while you bulk up more helpful ones.
One thing that helps is just focusing on five slow, deep breaths. Stick with me here. It sounds cheesy, yeah, but it helps a lot. Four seconds breathing in, make your belly puff out so your lungs are totally full. Five seconds breathing out. Repeat.
Another trick, don’t judge the feelings as good or bad, just notice everything your body is feeling when you’re mad. Observe scientifically. “Oh, my chest feels really warm. Hey, I can hear my pulse in my ears. Look, my hands are clenched. Isn’t that interesting?” Even play around with different (legal, non-destructive) movements and see if they increase or decrease your rage.
If you’re ready for it, Headspace has awesome guided mindfulness meditation exercises that I have been using and they’ve been helping. It’s a sloooow process, but like any workout, you get better little by little the more you practice.
Good luck. You’re stronger than you realize and I believe in you.
It definitely was not a walk in the park. Between me being a doctoral clinical psych student/psychotherapist and being in therapy, I learned a lot about mindfulness and viewing the world and myself with nonjudgment. I can have the thoughts, but I had to learn to just acknowledge them rather than buy into them--eventually they lost their power over me. The other thing that has helped me is paying close attention to the feelings I experience when I'm down/angry/etc., especially when it's towards myself and then I ask myself: "Is it worth it to feel this way?" "What made me feel this way?"
I definitely recommend giving these mindfulness apps a try--they have guided meditations and psychoeducation on what mindfulness is and what it can do.
You are not alone in the thoughts you experience and the way you view your own body--many people have similar thoughts about themselves and they're intrusive thoughts. These thoughts are normal, but not exactly healthy/adaptive. Pay attention to when you have those sort of thoughts and look for the "triggers" of the thought. Maybe it was a poor meal decision, maybe you're not feeling well, maybe you're angry about something. Try writing the thoughts and their identified triggers down--the more you can see what your head is doing, the easier it is to slow the process down.
I'm a huge fan of Headspace for meditation (https://www.headspace.com/) It's like training wheels for getting started. Been using it for about 2 years now and find it incredibly helpful for focus, patience, empathy, and contemplation. G'luck!
I think the simplest advice is to do things that reconnect you to your body. Some faves:
If you're looking for something with modern fixins, check out Headspace. They have a site/app that comes with 10 day trial for mindfulness meditation. I've found mindfulness in general to be helpful with anxiety. Rather than trying to avoid negative thoughts, mindfulness is a method of observing -- starting with your breath and physical sensations, and ultimately ending with being aware or mindful of the present, rather than anxious about the future.
To start I would 100% prioritize beginning to meditate each day. It will help your ability to focus immensely (science.) Start with the Headspace free 10-day challenge (10 mins/day).
It will also help you with reducing stress, anxiety and loneliness (3 symptoms of depression), and increase happiness. So ya, basically a no brainer. :)
There's /r/Meditation, they have a lot of resources.
Personally, I use Headspace. It has a phone app and a desktop website, the meditation is guided, and it steps you up gradually, starting at 10 minutes a session/day.
And as for mediation, that's what happens when two people have a disagreement and a third, disinterested party comes in to settle the problem. Not at all the same thing :)
I going to be completely honest with you and say what no one ever says. Its not possible in the state that you're in. What you have to do is what i'm sure you know you have to do, you have to go get rejected over and over and over again until you realize how little it means. Man up, do some intense training, eat onions and olive oil, improve yourself so your confident to brush things off. The mental and physical changes happen together man, its a lifestyle thing really.
for temporary relief try headspace, people like to recommend meditation and then leave you hanging with the details, headspace you just follow along with a nice english guy, it really helps.
Hey man I totally know what it's like.. I was in a similar place and lost all motivation.
I had to realise that there is no rational way to think your way out of your problems. Too much thinking is not going to help.
Have you ever tried meditating before? The Headspace app is great for beginners and might help..
This is normal. You have been preparing so much and thinking about this one goal so much that you have made yourself a stressed out mess on the field. You fuck up not because your skills are lacking, but because you are filled with tensions and can't execute your skills.
Some might find this ridiculous, but I believe that being relaxed in the execution of your actions will lead to better results. What I mean by that is that if you are relaxed in your mind, while you sprint, you will be faster than if you "amp" or "wind" yourself up. /u/jfreez alluded to it when he mentioned controlled aggression in another comment.
Read this article to get a better idea of what I mean.
But now that you know you need to be relaxed, how do you accomplish this? Well, my recommendation is to practice meditation. Meditation will train your brain to be aware and present in whatever action you are engaged in rather than in the tension you feel. This will allow you to maintain that sense of calmness and awareness on the field. I recommend the Headspace app if you have a smart phone. If not, then just research mindfulness meditation.
And to not stray too far from the goal, which is executing soccer skills efficiently (with minimal mistakes), you just need to practice. And when you practice always maintain a calm awareness. Please watch Zidane. He is probably the master of cool. He did not have the athletic prowess but was a master of awareness.
Edit: Don't hold that World Cup Final headbutt against Zidane, by the way. He had an entire career being the master of cool.
Plus, there's that "in the moment" factor. Being in a "state of flow". I think that's some of the "feeling alive" and "Feeling Something" for me. My brain is generally so constantly distracted. But not in a scene.
Found this list that describes which technique is used in each course:
I'm gonna keep with the noting technique and do the Productivity course.
insight timer is really good. additionally headspace pro is free for a year for unemployed persons in the USA.
i ended up getting it. i had a headspace subscription in 2018 then cancelled. happy to get it free now especially in these trying times. really generous since the subscription for pro is quite costly
So Ive had luck in the past using inspect element to get Planet Fitness promotions. If you do not have a Planet Fitness membership you can still use this deal. Go to this link and use code: PFITNESS
Saw this and wanted to say I struggled with exactly the same thing! TIME so challenging.
I was an avid Headspace user but needed something more tailored for moms. So I went to the web and found ones I could download and make my own little library and it worked really really well. I also started doing more timed meditations. Recently a program that I did when I went back to work shared a site called Motherful which seems to be great but I just started using it.
I'd be open to hearing other ideas too b/c I definitely still struggle.
Some suggestions for easy ways of giving it a try:
>1. What was the biggest problem or difficulty that you hoped to solve or overcome with meditation?
I wanted to have a greater control over my reactions. I was getting angry everyday over silly things and that is not who I am. I had a friend who was kind enough to point me towards mindfulness, stoicism, and meditation.
>2. What was the hardest thing about starting your practice/finding a teacher you could trust?
Being "too busy" to "sit and do nothing" (even though I was watching Netfix for a few hours after work) and expecting to change overnight. Find a place in your routine that meditation works for you. Mine is in the morning before I leave for work; I find that it helps center my mind for the day's challenges.
>3. What has been the most powerful/life-changing benefit of your meditation practice thus far?
I think it has really improved my relationships with others. I find myself less likely to get frustrated or upset by someone, more likely to listen to what they are saying.
>4. Did you search for any online meditation courses/apps to help you? Did they work/help?
I use the Insight Timer and Headspace apps along with a meditation group that meets in-person once a week. Find what works for you.
>5. Would you agree with this statement, "Learning to meditate has been the single greatest investment of your life."?
Maybe not the "single greatest investment", but meditation is definitely one of the better investments of my life.
When I first tried meditation, I just sat in my bedroom with my eyes closed for five minutes. A mentor told me to really use notice my senses, especially the breath. It was really calming at first, but I had some difficulty just sitting still. Guided meditations really helped me as a beginner. Here are some resources that I used:
There are also plenty of good guided meditations on YouTube that you can check out.
Happy meditating :)
Guided meditation without some spiritual context can tough to find, but there are some yoga meditation places in Austin. There are a couple of meditation bars that might work for you too, but I think you should start with these apps: 10% Happier and Headspace. I promise they're worth your time.
I have been useing headspace for two years i cant speak highly enough of it.
Thoughts and feelings cannot be rejected, they are apart you, they can be observed even acknowledged, they also do not have any hold on the self. I have been recently going through the restlessness pack and it has been invigorating, a really nice approach to meditation and day to day life. Here is a post on headspaces website about restlessness
Looks like you've tried meditating but I'll post this anyway in case you haven't seen it.
I've been using a meditation app called Headspace the past few months and it's really helped me be more calm and balanced. It's a guided 10 minutes each day (so not too time consuming) that I do soon after I wake up. It is geared towards beginners and helps develop your skills as you progress.
You can do a 10 day trial for free and join if it's something you like.
If not, like others said booze also works
Morning meditation. First thing in the morning before anything else, sit down somewhere in your room, and just play and follow any of the tracks from the HeadSpace app.
Takes 10 minutes in total, and makes a noticeable different in your mood.
Here's some things to think about:
tl;dr - meditate
¿Vos jugás CS, no? Soy Leroy (el de la foto del negro), mirá donde te vengo a encontrar jaja.
Yendo al tema del post, una de las cosas que recomiendo, como dijeron ahí arriba, es meditar. Te diría que pruebes con Headspace pero solo son gratis los primeros 10 días. Por ahí decías que no te había funcionado, capaz lo estabas haciendo mal. Pasate por /r/meditation y dale otra oportunidad.
¿Contarle las cosas a alguien es una opción? Muchas veces ayuda una barbaridad.
Otra cosa que hago mucho cuando estoy caliente es frenar un segundo y racionalizo un poco las cosas, pero no creo que le funcione a todo el mundo (es algo más de mi personalidad).
Of course "just focus" or "relax" is bullshit advice. It's somewhat true but extremely difficult to do. That is why I recommend meditation because it helps you practice getting into this state. However, take it with a grain of salt as I am myself just trying to get into this habit.
Good resources that helped me were:
This reddit comment. It explains what mediation actually does for you and that is more pragmatic than people think.
I also like guided meditations. The app headspace is a good place to start and gives you 10 free guided meditations of 10minutes.
However, if you have less problems to get started you should also try to practice without guiding and just focus on breathing.
start small (5 or 10mins is totally fine) and focus on building the habit. Doing 5mins before bed to get it off your list is better than brushing it off for a long session on the weekend or tomorrow-land.
If you feel like you are not doing it right, don't worry about it. Even experienced people may have problems to shut off their monkey brain. The practice is to bring your focus back again and again and again. Don't get frustrated and give yourself appreciation that you did the practice not how "well" you did it.
Start by daily meditation. Realise that looking after your mind is as important as looking after your body.
I recommend an App such as calm.com or headspace. Calm works better for me, Headspace better for others. With meditation, consistency is key.
You don't have to exercise at all for meditation, so i would urge you to give it a try, all you need to do is sit still, and listen to the recording. Maybe it's even available trough their website: https://www.headspace.com/ in case you don't have a android/Ios smartphone.
Lashing out at people is very common when we are experiencing high stress, i hope your managers are able to see trough that.
Hey, I suffered my first panic attack and bad anxiety December just gone. I found a mindfulness course online @ http://moodsmith.com/ and the lady is actually based in Dublin. I would highly, highly recommend this form of therapy - I went from thinking I would never be normal again to being completely fine in a matter of weeks.
When you sign up you get access to lots of videos that help rationalise and control your thoughts and you can also arrange to skype the doctor. There are also homework sheets and exercises for each section.
Hope this helps and it shouldn't burn a hole in your pocket (10e per month)
Finally another thing to check out is Headspace app for your phone, I use it for 10mins every morning and it has changed my life and the way I think. The days I miss doing it, I really notice the difference. https://www.headspace.com/
(Ps I read your original post, I really think mindfulness with help you a lot as it seems you need to slow down and not let your thoughts run away with you and control your life/feelings)
*Edit: adding some more info.
Hello, fellow vampire. The sun is just too bright for me! Also +1 on liking thunderstorms. I find them relaxing.
For meditation, I found that doing it while walking is much easier for me than sitting. I guess my body just needs something to occupy it while my brain is trying to calm down. Also, when I do fidget, it doesn't pull me out of the experience.
I can only say, as an older man, some of my biggest regrets were based in decisions made because I didn't trust my own judgement. So I'll just say, trust yourself, which could be read as, believe in yourself. Everyone feels like a fraud, except for narcissists. Everyone has self-doubt. You can read interviews with people at the top of their game and they almost all talk about being afraid people will realize they're a fraud.
And on the subject of seeing nothing but mistakes, that's a pretty common trait among great artists. A whole lot of both performing artists, painters, sculptors, etc., talk about the frustration of seeing the imperfections in their work.
Just enjoy the process. Immerse yourself in your work; get into that flow state, give it your best and enjoy your life. The alternative is to be miserable and unproductive. So, trust yourself and throw caution to the wind.
That's the best thing I can tell you.
This Covid times really sucks.
But hey keep your head up, we all are going through hard times.
What do you think about lowering your goals? Maybe doing a 12min workout per day would be a nice start for you. Start slow and then increase your goals.
I love to use apps to help me out. Have you ever thought about meditation? Maybe this could help you out... just 5 min a day... I use HeadSpace
And for the physical activity, I use a new app developed by friends of mine that adapts all the in-app content to the user's fitness limits. Maybe it can workout for you... It's called Strive.
Be patient with yourself. It is allowed to skip one day of fitness training, but try to focus on the long term goals.
Keep your head up !!
I had this dilemma after finishing the basics too. I would recommend trying any 10 day packs that you think look interesting. If you’re comfortable with meditation, the pro packs are great for honing technique. Some of the singles are really useful if you’re in need of something quick. Whatever you pick, you can’t really go wrong (just make sure you do the pro packs in order). If you’re stuck in a rut, you can always repeat some of the basics.
Here’s something from the Headspace blog you might find useful. https://www.headspace.com/blog/2018/11/27/after-headspace-basics/
Also, reading articles and books, and watching things about mindfulness and meditation is a good way to stay motivated. I would recommend the books ‘the mind illuminated’ by John Yates and ‘Peace is every step’ by Thich Nhat Hanh. Any TED talks about mindfulness and meditation would be worth a watch too.
Ultimately, for me, I realized procrastination had to do with fear. Fear of failure, specifically, rooted in some emotional trauma way back in my past. I was self-sabotaging, so I could avoid the pain of trying really hard and then not succeeding.
The exercse that helped me the most wasn't from a self help book, it was from Twyla Tharp's book The Creative Habit. Basically, sit down and write out everyhing you're afraid of relating to what you're procrastinating on. Write and re-write, refine the list. Imagine you were going to give a TED talk about your fears -- how would you distill them down? How would you communicate them to others?
This sounds self-destructive, but it's actually very freeing. You'll become an expert on your own fears. You'll start to procrastinate, and then realize it's your fear manipulating you, and be able to smile at that fear, welcome it in, see the hurt below it, and take care of that part of you. This short-circuts procrastination like nothing else I've tried.
Also, meditation is a huge help. There are many good apps, but Headspace is my favorite.
This was also a good read.
Try the Headspace App - it's free (with options to purchase more guided meditations) and a lot of people I know have used it and found it really effective. And it has built in reminders to keep you disciplined which can be really tough when you're starting out.
Have you tried meditation? I keep hearing high praise about practicing meditation, from Sam Harris to Michael Pollan to a web developer at WordCamp Montreal, where one of the presenters recommended it.
Headspace was a website recommended to get started with. It's free to start, then they charge.
I have to admit, I'm not sure I have the patience to practice it myself.
I know, realistically there's no way to just switch off the fear. It's such a bizarre feeling, like your own body is betraying you. I'm still in that phase. Irrationally pissed off at my body for doing something so random and life-changing. From everything I've read here it's completely normal to go through stages of anxiety, so don't ever think you're wrong or weak for being afraid. It's scary.
This may sound hokey, but while I was in the hospital a friend visited and told me how she and her husband coped while he was undergoing testing and surgery for prostate cancer. She got me to load an app on my phone called Headspace. It's basically just guided breathing that helps to calm your racing mind. I, a skeptic, tried it for 3 minutes twice a day, and I found it actually did help to get me out of my own thoughts for a few minutes. I'm still using it at home when I catch myself getting overly panicky about every little twinge in my ribs; my Fitbit shows me that I'm actually lowering my heart rate by doing it. There's a website explaining it, if you're interested. Anything that adds to our coping toolbox, right?
I’m in a similar boat currently as a sub and I just want to say hang in there! I’m sure between your experience and your colleagues’ $0.02 you’re all set on classroom management tips but as far as frustration in the moment I’ve found that meditating and practicing noting helps when I can feel myself getting flustered or taking it personally.
I’m sure you’re doing great! Having a sub can turn any kid into an eldritch horror plus at this point they can smell summer. You can do it!
Essentially mindfulness is about training yourself to be more conscious of how you feel and think right now. It's not really about trying to stop or redirect your thoughts, just realizing that they are only thoughts and instead of chasing after them you can just let them pass. Check out Headspace, they have free guided exercises to get you started.
It's not a motivation app so much, but it has helped me learn to practice meditation, which I think can also significantly aid motivation by helping you understand what you want to do, why, and what may be stopping you.
Well, usually when we get distracted and start daydreaming we're being "mindless" so beginning to practice and learn about mindfulness might help with keeping yourself focused. Other things you can do include removing other distractions (kids, pets, devices, TV, etc...). Being alert, rested and stress-free will definitely help too.
Check out these mindfulness apps:
The way I personally do it is:
Ultimately, you should notice that you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally relaxed. Almost as if the world and time had completely switched over to half speed.
There are tons of Guided Meditation resources available and they are very helpful for starting out. You can find a lot on online and Amazon. https://www.headspace.com/ is a great beginner app to start with on your phone which includes guided audio and some animations.