What are /r/asexuality's favorite Products & Services?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

Seriously. If your brother defends this guy, I wouldn't trust him any more either. He didn't "just" say he was going to touch you, HE TOUCHED YOU. If your brother defends that kind of behavior, he is just as bad.

Please tell someone and fix/replace your lock asap.

Edit: Or get a lock like this one asap!!

buy him this:

https://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Female-Styrofoam-Mannequin-Head/dp/B074VSB349/ref=sr_1_15?keywords=head&qid=1556677261&s=gateway&sr=8-15&th=1

Tell him he's been asking for it. Also anyone that is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do isn't exactly loving. Ace or not. I personally hate sex, but that's just my take. Him calling you "not asexual" is just manipulation. His hormones are probably causing him to act irrational instead of considering your feels. Manipulation isn't fun, I've been there, and it sucks. A good partner understands, a bad one demands.

There was a leak/hack/whatever ages ago, I've changed it a few times since I used the one they have. It's someone who got a dump file with the info and is hoping for a few internet idiots to pay up.

For more info: https://thenextweb.com/hardfork/2018/07/12/blackmail-bitcoin-videos/

I’m too poor to feel hugged, but maybe you can afford it.

https://www.amazon.com/PharMeDoc-Pregnancy-Maternity-Detachable-Extension/dp/B07JR3T1G6/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=full+body+pillows&qid=1622683679&sprefix=full+body+pi&sr=8-1

Amazon! Here's a link: Link

just remember to pick the right ring size if you're buying one

Inhuman?!?! That’s awful and so terrible someone has said that! I’m so sorry you all experienced that.

Idk about you, but growing up, I spent way more time reading my Dragonology book than ever thinking about sex...I’m happy to be a dragon then 🤣

http://universesandbox.com/forum/index.php?topic=11194.60

There is more grey area than there is anything else. Like... Infinitely more.

Edit: i dont know what site this is or what they support, this was found through google images

Amazon!

BestTungsten 6mm 8mm Black Tungsten Rings for Men Women Wedding Bands Celtic Dragon Purple Carbon Fiber Inlay Comfort Fit https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G9F2YLF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_G1Q-CbCJDBDHX

Well, I won't ever say that what we go through compares to what the trans or gay community goes through on a daily basis, but there have been quantitative studies that have displayed an overall discrimination towards us.

​

On smaller scale, we don't even have a place to put our identity on major websites like match.com or eharmony really. We're viewed as less human overall, because we're not sexual like the rest. Some stories of potential dating partners trying to convert us into being sexual, as if they want to fix us as broken have been overall cited again and again. In my current state, consummation laws can be cited as a reason for divorce, which can put the asexual partner at fault for dissolution. So, there's that. There is some like that. I am not comparing in any way to what any trans person or gay person goes through. That's not me. I'm just saying what aces sometimes face.

https://www.amazon.com/Kawaii-Cat-Pile-Anime-Hoodie/dp/B07N8YHQR4/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=ace+kittens+hoodie&qid=1553250175&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull

Found it by searching "ace kitten hoodie" ��

Here is a database made by a couple of authors of books with ace characters:

https://www.obvibase.com/p/N7SD6v1F4mrVBWzV/?location=%7B%22type%22%3A%22table%22%2C%22databaseId%22%3A%22N7SD6v1F4mrVBWzV%22%2C%22queryPath%22%3A%7B%22recordPath%22%3A%5B%5D%2C%22columnPath%22%3A%5B%221%22%5D%7D%7D

A lot of these books are fantasy, but I specifically went looking for YA books and found a solid 20+. Some of them are actually hiding in plain sight. I've never read a book with an ace character, but I did read one of John Green's books where a character was accused of being ace.

Hope this helps, though! The database is marked based on the gender of the character, HOW asexuality is used in the book (if the word is used, ect), whether the character is a lead, main, or side. . . it even goes as far as to say what each character's sexuality is specifically. Many of them are demisexual, too! A lot of them also specify homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, and I found a couple panromantic ones. Hopefully this can help you feel very included, too!

Happy pride.

Amazon find ^_^ https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YX6M3T8/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

The other thing that helps me is meditation. Although it might seem like pseudoscience, meditation is really just training to relate to your own experience of the world in a healthier way (and anyone can do it). There are free meditation courses you can take like Headspace for example.

Worst case scenario you waste a few minutes.

I have the polyhedral set of these. Chessex makes them, should be under $10 from their website. You can also get them on Amazon and most any game store. I always see this set at my local game stores but YMMV as each one is different.

Edit: Found on Amazon. Called the Gemini purple steel with white letters.

Polyhedral 7-Die Gemini Chessex Dice Set - Purple-Steel with White CHX-26432 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M9UDG96/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_VAXWBbQ8W211V

If you can find these IRL though it's better. Not price or anything, but the swirl will be unique to each set, so more black or white or purple depending on the pour. If your looking for Ace ones you'll want to make sure you get a good swirl. This picture makes it look more grey, mine are more purple. It all depends.

Edit 2: Forgot to mention you can get the all 6 set if the polyhedral isn't your style.

It's around minute 5:50. Not sure if you can link to netflix this way but here goes

This post inspired me to look around at different rings. Check out the colors of this set of four rings Amazon is selling. Yay!

There's a few asexual dating resources out there. There's AceApp, the some discords, like Ace Date Space, and on Reddit there's r/r4rAsexual and r/asexualdating. If you look on the AVEN forums there are meet ups where you can meet other aces in your area, although that can be hit or miss depending on how remote an area you live in.

As with all forms of dating, it's hit and miss. There's always an element of luck in trying to find the right special someone, but I think if it's something you want, you shouldn't give up on it.

Otherwise, concentrating on social activities and hobby groups (after we're out of the danger zone with this bloody pandemic) will probably help alleviate a little bit of that loneliness.

The picture was very helpful. Thank you.

I would certainly urge its creator, and anyone who finds the concept of what they called a "squish" helpful, to read the Nicomachean Ethics and its treatment of philia. The idea of a passionate, asexual love has been of great interest and significance to humans for many thousands of years. It's something of a tragedy how much linguistic material we English-speakers cram into the word love.

As is often the case, it seems the absence of something, whether partial or complete, is much more difficult to pin down than its presence.

Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your experience. I sincerely appreciate it.

I got this water bottle when it was on sale (for like $6) and my personal high score for it keeping ice is 3 days. I think you can probably get cuter ones for around the same current price but this one is tried and true for good ice keeping water bottles. Plus the wide mouth makes you able to fill it up at most ice machines without making a huge mess.

I found a ceramic ring on Amazon for like $12-$13.

Here’s a link:

SOMEN TUNGSTEN 2mm 4mm 6mm Black/White Ceramic Rings for Men Women Comfort Fit Engagement Wedding Band Size 4-12 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M95PSTG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qvZgFbT60EEDW

It sells in black and white so it works for ace and aro rings.

I think it would be easier and more fun to meet possible dates in a group setting too. Perhaps it could include an option to play online games with other Aros and Aces like Skribbl.io or Jackbox games. That way people can make friends and see who they might be comfortable being with.

I'm wearing this on my wrist in the photo.

http://www.storenvy.com/products/10085493-asexual-silicone-bracelet

It's pretty comfortable, and you can wear it while swimming, exercising, etc.

I have messed up finger joints from Jiu Jitsu, so I wear a parachord ring. I just ordered a silicon ring that is supposed to be comfortable as well.

I made a survey In case we want to poll the subreddit. I've been rather curious myself as to what the demographic is like here. I went a bit crazy with the number of questions. I've never made a survey before, If you think its any good, or think a survey in general is a good idea and want to make a new and improved one, maybe we can give it its own post.

i got u! the reply was supposed to say *thin, not thing haha

ThunderFit Women's Thin and Stackable Silicone Rings Wedding Bands - 2.5mm Width - 1.8mm Thick https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0828B99GD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_FRCBWSM8FAZXNG5BBDNY?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Thank you! I got it at my local jewelry store but Amazon also has it, I found a link if you're interested, but there's a ton of sellers selling it at different price ranges so I'm sure you'll find one if you browse a lil more.

Here's the link if you wanna check it out: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B091T12N31/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?smid=A2RITPICI4XI1T&th=1

Here's a link! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B091T12N31/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?smid=A2RITPICI4XI1T&th=1

https://www.amazon.com/FIBO-STEEL-Stainless-Steel-Grooved/dp/B01M7ZWII8/ref=sxin_15_ac_m_rm?ac_md=1-1-YmxhY2sgcmluZ3MgZm9yIG1lbg%3D%3D-ac_d_rm&cv_ct_cx=black+ring&dchild=1&keywords=black+ring&pd_rd_i=B01M7ZWII8&pd_rd_r=130216e7...

Here you go ☺

Got this stainless steel one from Amazon last AAW: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007LQG9T2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qXofBbJTC1DMF

It is great. Fits comfortably and durable, I've dropped it a few times but hardly a scratch.

Here are some cheaper alternatives if your interested.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/860005855/cool-black-thin-rainbow-line?ref=search_recently_viewed-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BBFBMW9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FybyFb661V8RZ

Cyberpunk Purple Playing Cards, Deck of Cards, Premium Card Deck, Cool Poker Cards, Unique Bright Colors for Kids & Adults, Card Decks Games, Standard Size https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QK7CTYL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ujrfFbGHBA28K Here’s the amazon link ;)

the fact that you're very sure you couldn't be in a relationship with a man but still find them pretty sounds a lot like you might be an ace lesbian experiencing comphet. in case you don't know what that is, here's the am i a lesbian masterdoc.

Understanding Asexuality isn't really a history. In fact, large sections of that book seem to forget that asexuals even exist. It really feels like Bogaert started writing about asexuality and talking to asexuals, then ran out of stuff to say, so he repackaged random speculation on why sex jokes are funny and how there's sex in our art and food, added a few lines about "asexuals might not understand this", and jammed them in the book.

Anyway, about pre-Kinsey history, I seem to recall someone finding a German book from the late 1800s/early 1900s that talked about what we'd call asexuality. Can't find the link right now, though, because AVEN is down.

There's also the Asexual History group that might have more information: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/asexual-history

I'd suggest starting with this short podcast episode, as it covers the basics and has other good resource links on that page!

As far as what to do next, there is not much you're gonna do to change your opinion about sex. I've found it a common ace experience to be into sex during new relationship energy that completely drains once that curiosity is sated.

Unfortunately the only two things one can really do in a mismatched sexual relationship is communicate exactly what you both want and be open to compromise as long as it doesn't involve you being pressured into sex which is very not good if you don't want sex.

Yeah, that sucks. There's no magic cure to feeling a certain way – and actually it's not idiotic. Emotions don't have a reason, they can't be right or wrong, they just are.

Another thing that might help is meditation: it teaches you how to relate to your emotions in a healthier way. There are free apps for guided meditation (such as HeadSpace for example). I'd say it's worth a shot, what have you got to lose?

In any case, I wish you the very best.

you can also order a ring size measuring tool for pretty cheap. Well worth it if you want to order rings online

ring sizers help a lot. I had just gotten a ring myself and it took a few Amazon orders to get the right ring. Even after I had my finger size, some companies sizes were still off. Just takes time and patience.

Keep an eye out for "fluff" since it's specifically used to describe romance stories without sex. An example is my current obcession, Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites (Fluff and Fangs edition) by Joy Demorra. It's pretty popular so should be available at your library or local bookstore.

It appears that link is broken. It's often a good idea to remove things after a "?" or "ref" in the url.

This worked for me: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08NHFBNKP/

And yes, that ring is great, I happen to have it in my little list already. :D

The Hat Depot 300N Unisex 100% Cotton Packable Summer Travel Bucket Beach Sun Hat https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0741CC5HY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_9R60T2DPXPVTFNVK5TGH?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Incase anyone else would like one :)

Here, my dude, hopefully you’ll have better luck than us penniless folks.

https://smile.amazon.com/PharMeDoc-Pregnancy-Maternity-Detachable-Extension/dp/B07JR3T1G6/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=full+body+pillow&qid=1622685884&sprefix=full+body+pillow&sr=8-1

I got both the ring and earrings from Amazon. Here's the link to the ring: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08XQ3ZT2G/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o01_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1 :)

I found my ring on Amazon, but it’s just a thin, plain black stainless steel band (I like the simple rings). I guess it just depends on what style you like? But I think you might ought to shop around more, if you feel like you ultimately won’t like the hematite one. :)

Here’s a link to the one I have if you wanna check it out.

Price Bracelets I got it on Amazon in the handmade section!

On Android you can install Nova Launcher to do this; it's really lightweight, well made, and I'm yet to find something you can't customise (you can change app names/icons/shapes, the search bar appearance/location, the app draw, the number of icons on each screen, ...).

There's also a paid version (Nova Launcher Prime) which adds more stuff, but if you just want to customise app names/icons you won't need it.

sure! here's the link

I’ve seen that a couple of places. Here’s a link to one on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Design-Wedding-Princess-Rhinestone-Engagement/dp/B07RF86S13/ref=mp_s_a_1_16?dchild=1&keywords=black+and+purple+rings+for+women&qid=1601231170&sprefix=black+and+purple+ri&sr=8-16

Here’s a fairly cheap one on Amazon. There are plenty of others on there as well if you want a textured ring, or something a bit flashier.

Honor Eternity Ring Men's Silicone Ring Wedding Band https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011W8689A/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_1uicFbAVW2P3R

If you have an Android phone, download an app called Chroma Doze and have it play white noise all night.

If you need to drown out something that's bothering you, this is the thing to do.

Most often I see Understanding Asexuality and Loveless being recommended but I haven't read either tbh

I've got myself an indoor flag pole to hang the flag on, something like this. Makes the flag easy to move around if needed.

For all you people that don't watch the show. Here's a positive insight if you're willing to read this.

Some of you may not watch the show because of Nudity, The Name of the show, other reasons.
But trust me it is a very good show, it makes you actually get involved with the characters and make you feel like you're in their lives.
If you're looking for character development wait till episode 5, but don't start there watch from episode 1.
Most of the characters you will only start liking and relating after episode 4.
It has a very good plot and very well rated and is renewed for a season 2 which will be coming in december 2019/ january 2020.

Overall, the show will get better and better plots to explore but trust me, don't waste it, it is a very good show.

👍good luck if you watch it!

I'd measure the largest point of your finger. You can use a silicone ring size adjuster to help it stay on comfortably, something like this could work: https://www.amazon.com/Adjuster-Invisible-Transparent-Silicone-Tightener/dp/B07G5Z9X4G

How exciting!

Heres the amazon link instead if it works

https://www.amazon.com/Koh-I-Noor-Progresso-Woodless-24-Pencil-FA8758-24/dp/B004O7895I?pd_rd_w=Tp7qz&content-id=amzn1.sym.06bb3028-2b73-4281-a97e-9a56936e1b90&pf_rd_p=06bb3028-2b73-4281-a97e-9a56936e1b90&pf_rd_r=5V06814GPKQ2JMGWDTPS&am...

I got given mine as a gift with a few other rings included but I’ve found it on Amazon, here’s the link to a bundle with it https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dacitiery-Pieces-Vintage-Octopus-Adjustable/dp/B0967KT416/ref=mp_s_a_1_28?adgrpid=114577950221&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5-THyc2I-gIV1evtCh3NyQMEEAAYASAAEgIPJvD_BwE&hvadid=498387497239&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1006886&...

Someone else has also posted a link with it on its own :)

They are on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/ellesse-Allios-Shorts-Black-Purple-M/dp/B09V8CLCB7/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?c=ts&keywords=Men%27s+Shorts&qid=1660614453&refinements=p_4%3Aellesse&s=apparel&sr=1-2&ts_id=1045560 May be on ebay idk.

I’d define this as inappropriate https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Leather-Harness-Fetish-Fetisch-Outfit/dp/B001GUHF1A

But wouldn’t really have an issue with outfits like this https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/barcelona-spain-june-29-2019-large-1963460458

As for puppy play, the same sort of rules apply tbh. To me at least, wearing a puppy mask and a harness doesn’t make an outfit more inappropriate.

I don’t see anything wrong with freethenip as nipples are not genitals, they are not inherently sexual.

I went on a bit of a binge when I first came out as ace and bought like ~10 different rings. The one I actually wear the most, by far is just a simple black band (this one: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07Q1BDFDV/).

I personally found that a lot of the more interesting designs felt too bulky, or they had contours/edges that could be distracting or uncomfortable. I do have one of the flag/pride rings and it's comfortable but too colorful/flashy for me personally to wear every day. I think I like #1 the best out of your options, but the spinner would probably be too distracting for me :)

The nice thing is that there are a lot of tungsten carbide and stainless steel black rings that are inexpensive, so you can try a few or switch them out if you're not sure.

yep! it's this wonderful item and I got it thinking A) purple is just the best color and I love it and B) this would go sooo well with the thigh-highs and shoelaces!

Pretty sure it's this

https://www.amazon.com/Asexual-Pride-Stainless-Steel-Comfort/dp/B09Q6CDQM8/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=158BTG1V4024O&keywords=asexual+ring&qid=1654264881&sprefix=asexual+ring%2Caps%2C258&sr=8-3

I spoke to my friend. She got it from Amazon.

DSYJ Poker Bottle Opener, Creative Playing Credit Card Card Stainless Steel Bottle Opener, Personalized Funny Beer Bottle Opener, Size fits Your Wallet Silver https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00PXOOD7Y/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_K25CC7QMZRF7YDSFTCPH?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

That is the listing 😄👍

I found some similar ones online:

https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Space-Ace-Outer-Space-NASA-Logo-Asexual-by-boypilot/41650615.NL9AC

https://www.amazon.com/Space-NASA-Asexual-Pride-T-Shirt/dp/B08STXMWZM

I have this one and it's only £23, I've seen a few plain ones which are cheaper on Amazon

The Stone Guardians: The Path of Fate https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09ZCQTX4C/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_K08KGQKW8YN25GCYJXMC[Book](https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09ZCQTX4C/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_K08KGQKW8YN25GCYJXMC)

It's a Titanium-Carbide alloy I believe. I got it off amazon. Here's a link to the UK version if you want to look. I never take this one off, I have two but this is the only one I actually wear and unless I'm in the water or sleeping this ring stays on. I love it

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005HPQFM0/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I think the main thing is that it's mostly black.

Like mine is black Tungsten carbide ring but in the middle it has a rainbow gradient in the middle. Here the link if you want to see.

Tungsten Ring Black Brushed Matte Finish Rainbow Centre Groove from Greenpod

Link for the ring on Amazon

Aichva 8mm Black Tungsten Engagement Band Ring with Interval Color https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B082XXRM1K/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_F3CF9DPEY3QZ5XBZKHCV?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

You can overcome imposter syndrome if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here.

I got mine from Amazon, they even have it in different styles 🥰 Soul-Cats® Klassische Ring aus Edelstahl für Damen und Herren, schwarz, hochglanzpoliert https://www.amazon.de/dp/B07281RCXM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ZRZCXNFMPA148PFKNQJ4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I got this a few days ago and it's great so far

It might be different for your friend, but when I first started to tell my closest friends that I was ace, I had a very good idea of who I am, and that the only thing I wanted was to let them know. And that they made me feel safe and they would be cool with it.

It kinda seems like your friend is doubting himself, so if he is comfortable telling you that, I think you are well on your way of supporting him. And I think it means that you are a very good friend to him.

I think I would either let them talk about their experiences very broadly and open-ended. It can be as easy as talking about people he like a lot, and why he likes them. Questioning yourself can come from very random places. Like my friend said he was upset that he couldn't have sex, and I just couldn't wrap my head around that, and after a while I stumbled upon asexuality and everything clicked.

If he doesn't want to talk about himself, you could also perhaps talk about your experiences. It is kinda difficult knowing how you are not feeling a certain feeling. Somebody talking about how they are attracted to other people always reassure myself that I don't feel any of it.

How does your friend like to learn things? For me it helped reading a lot of books. I would recommend, Ace: The invisible orientation. That book I think also have a chapter for supporting aces, so it could be beneficial for the both of you.

Got mine on here on Amazon, and while this was the one I settled on, I have seen other listings for cheaper.

If this helps, then you're welcome

I wasn't aware there was a garlic bread ace thing, but it would certainly explain my fascination with this meme

<a href="https://imgbb.com/"&gt;&lt;img src="https://i.ibb.co/KGpXjzp/only-garlic-bread.jpg" alt="only-garlic-bread" border="0"></a>

They're these ones! So like, kind of both? I personally love showcasing my pride in subtle ways so that I don't have to field any questions but members of the community will catch on ;)

I want to state that I am NOT part of the Little for Big community, this store just happens to have the most comfortable "jumpsuits" (not sure what to call them) I've ever found. It's basically a shirt with snaps at the bottom so that it always stays tucked in

Littleforbig Cotton Button Crotch Romper Onesie Pajamas Bodysuit - Collared https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0832D9M38/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apan_glt_fabc_SM31KWEGBPFXMQVG4442?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1

Heres the link if yall want it.

Wow. I didn't know any of that. I just saw naked people. Thanks for the explanation. Feel like I should be wearing one of these, or rather, sitting naked in one of them to highlight my vulnerability.

The typical ace ring is a ring that is predominately black and worn on the right middle finger. So you can have any sorts of accents on it and other aces should in theory be able to recognize it as an ace ring as long as it's on the right middle finger and mostly black, but of course there's no guarantee. I most often make a mental note of "is that an ace ring?" when I see solid black rings or mostly black ones with some purple on the correct finger. Anything else typically doesn't register immediately as "possibly ace" to me, but that's just me.

The exact design is up to the wearer, but mine is a pretty neutral looking ring that's solid black since I felt like that would be most obvious as an ace ring.

May I introduce you to the Hitachi magic wand massager. They call it a "massager" but they know what they are selling. I love it as it is non-penatrative. The vibrations are really calibrated just so for the >!clitoris!< . 💯 Recommended.

Personally I fluctuate with my level of sexual desire -- I used to be averse when I was younger, then with a couple partners I actually was favorable, currently I'm totally indifferent. Some people have a hard feeling, some people (like me) it changes depending on the partner or stage in life or whatever.

As for understanding sexual attraction: hahaa yup join the club : P I had to do so much research on that topic when I was first learning that I was asexual. Turns out my whole life I thought romantic attraction WAS sexual attraction and I couldn't figure out why everyone was so crazy about bodies. For one example, I knew people who cheated on their partners to have sex with people they didn't even want to date ?? like . . . wat??

reading through this post made me understand a bit more what it was, but beyond that I've heard a couple good descriptions:

One is that sexual attraction is a physical feeling kind of like heat where you see someone and you crave their body like a hunger. Similarly to how romantic attraction gives you physical "butterflies" and you want to get to know someone or kiss them or hold hands or whatever, sexual attraction is like magnetism but in your gentials lol.

The other is a great analogy that I have been stealing from someone on this subreddit hahaa. "You might be hungry (libido) so you decide to snack on some cheetos cause they're available (having sex with a partner) but it's not like you're craving cheetos in particular (sexual attraction.)"

Sounds like what you're experiencing is libido, not necessarily attraction. Obviously you know best what you're feeling, but here's a good doc about the different sexual feelings/types of attraction and here's another site where people describe what sexual attraction feels like -- I hope it helps you!!

Well, the only thing that makes you asexual is lack of feeling sexual attraction. This link has a bunch of descriptions of sexual attraction that might help you out? So if you do feel sexual attraction (which is a physical feeling directed at a particular person, not just sexual thoughts) but you are also sex repulsed you aren't asexual.

That being said, if you identify more with asexual experiences than allosexual experiences, you're still welcome to find support in this community <3

Current SO is ace but I'm allo. I can tell you personally that it took me a while to really understand. Like, I thought I understood at first, but it took me at least a year to really get it. Granted, she was also kind of discovering that she was Ace so it's slightly different. But either way, I'm sorry you're going through this. You're totally right that sex ed doesn't cover this. Have you directed your partner to AVEN or subreddits like this? It helped me a lot to understand the ace and aro spectrum. Also this article was awesome for both of us.

Yes

Yes

Maybe because visibility is important and I shouldn’t have to hide a part of my identity if someone asks

No

Aphobia is less apparent/visible/violent than homophobia but it exists. Here is a study that proves aphobia exists. Besides the discrimination, prejudice, conversion therapy and corrective r*pe, there are countries where a marriage is only “real” if it is consummated. Even in the US there are still states with consummation laws and religious marriages without consummation can be dissolved or annulled in the Catholic Church.

I don't think so? https://adguard.com/en/adguard-ios/overview.html?aid=18081&amp;utm_source=browser_extension&amp;utm_medium=popup&amp;utm_campaign=ios_about
This is the link for the IOS app apparently.

Ring A: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/4mm-Stainless-Steel-Mens-Womens-Wedding-Band-Gold-Silver-Black-New-Ring-M-to-Z/132103252756?hash=item1ec1f7ab14:g:U04AAOSw6eRdfPoB

Plain stainless steel ring, bought 2 years ago and wear it pretty much daily since.

Ring B: https://www.amazon.fr/Corato-Facettes-Martel%C3%A9-Tungst%C3%A8ne-Mariage/dp/B09B2F5Y7X/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?crid=3MR48W9GJV70H&amp;keywords=homme+bague+noire+4mm&amp;qid=1637409898&amp;sprefix=homme+bague+noire+4mm%2Caps%2C191&amp;sr=8-2-spons&amp...

Tungsten carbide ring I bought last week.

Having a minority orientation can be upsetting for a number of reasons. Sadness is a perfectly natural responses to your situation: we all have trouble understanding each other and extra barriers don't help. That said, attaining happiness in the long run involves finding ways to achieve acceptance of the things in life that you cannot change. That doesn't mean giving up on improving your life of course, but being mindful of the things you have – rather than the things you don't – is a healthier way to approach things.

There's no magic cure to feeling a certain way but you may find the following practical steps useful.

• Meditation/mindfulness. Meditation isn't pseudoscience, it's just training to make you more present in the moment and compassionate towards yourself. There are free guided meditation courses you can take such as HeadSpace. A growing body of evidence from psychology suggests that such techniques have a positive and sometimes profound impact on well-being.
• Write down three things you're grateful for each day. This is super simple and has been shown to have a significant impact in subjective well-being.
• Have compassion for everyone – including yourself. Compassion is a habit. The more you do it the easier it becomes, but don't blame yourself if you struggle. Sometimes life is hard, and unfair, and it hurts. That's ok. Don't judge that feeling: there's no such thing as a wrong feeling.

Finally, don't hesitate to reach out for help on this subreddit or elsewhere. We're happy to lend a hand.

For novels, there was a collection started on a website. It's pretty extensive. https://www.diigo.com/user/acereads?type=all&amp;sort=updated The tags here are really useful to find what you are looking for.

For fanfic, AO3 has some good tags. From what I can tell, the parent tag is "asexuality spectrum". There are a lot of short things, and a few really long works. Just be warned that the ace character ain't always the main character.

The concept is great, but maybe you could use another online spreadsheet to avoid giving a little more personal and sensitive information to the devil of Mountain Wiew 😇 :

https://ethercalc.net

I got a silicone ring since it's safe for me to wear at work. Discovered I like the feel/comfort of a silicone ring more than a metal one. You can get a pack of them for pretty cheap. Win win win.

https://www.amazon.com/Double-Accent-Stainless-Anodized-Wedding/dp/B00AB3CJQO/ref=sr_1_16?dchild=1&amp;keywords=Asexual+rings&amp;qid=1635473612&amp;qsid=137-1709679-7922858&amp;sr=8-16&amp;sres=B0734X6NF2%2CB06Y19ZTCD%2CB07VR7DQY1%2CB07G9C6RK9%2C...

My ace ring

This could help https://www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-Orientation-Introduction-Asexuality-Generation/dp/1634502434/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&amp;keywords=asexual+book&amp;qid=1633457279&amp;qsid=262-3253320-7609531&amp;sr=8-4&amp;sres=B084Q8Z6ZQ%2C1800420234%2C1734923...

This is the one I got. It's got good reviews and is true to size. If you know your size, you're good to go. I got the 6mm width because I like it a little thicker for strength but don't want a big man's band.

I got one on amazon that also helps with anxiety/is a fidget ring. I don’t know how the sizes work (I have one thats too big and one that’s too small lol) but here’s the link! (if we aren’t allowed to share links feel free to delete, I’m new to reddit and not positive on how everything works)black fidget ace ring

Sure! <3

https://www.amazon.com/Asexual-Demisexual-Pride-PopSockets-Tablets/dp/B07SVLXYN9/ref=mp_s_a_1_9?dchild=1&amp;keywords=asexual+popsocket&amp;qid=1628814963&amp;sprefix=asexual+pops&amp;sr=8-9

it was actually a gift from my father, but i found the link https://www.amazon.com/Adjustable-Vintage-Gothic-Stackable-Jewelry/dp/B09169BTQQ/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_pdt_img_top?ie=UTF8 sorry i can't really find one with just the dragon ring ;w;

https://www.amazon.com/NOPE-Asexual-Pride-Hoodie-Asexuality/dp/B07PZ5NWSF/ref=pd_rhf_cr_s_pd_crcd_22/142-0779048-6797734?pd_rd_w=ABcaQ&amp;pf_rd_p=ecb2692f-0365-4eca-a102-58ef51a608ce&amp;pf_rd_r=6WY260S7TX1S0Y52JWBQ&amp;pd_rd_r=2917deaa-c192-41f1-afbf-984d0e973c8f&amp;pd_rd_wg=S3R9T&amp;pd_rd_i=B07PZ5NWSF&amp;psc=1

would be a good alternative, there's even shirts for this. But damn is that not a good hood

Here is the ring if you're interested in getting it yourself ring [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01ISL8PEK/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?smid=AJEZV3OI3M7YF&amp;psc=1]

Just FYI, to prevent the black color from wearing off put a layer of clear nail polish on it (avoid coloring the gem)

https://www.amazon.com/JAJAFOOK-Jewelry-Stainless-Plating-Polished/dp/B08P2KSK9Z/ref=aw_pd_cart_vw_crc_1_3/137-1298793-2254665?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_i=B07MBC9JN3&amp;pd_rd_r=db31642c-13a3-44e2-9976-1a245cbb6ae2&amp;pd_rd_w=zzBRg&amp;pd_rd_wg=ML...