This is wonderful. I’ve saved it.
For people wanting help with this but more in-depth, I highly recommend this book:
It’s the next best thing to a course.
Thanks for your question. Avoidance is a really common symptom of all anxiety disorders. Something that might feel simple to someone without an anxiety disorder can feel really terrifying/impossible to someone struggling with anxiety. It's important to know that there is effective treatment out there for anxiety. I would recommend finding a licensed provider who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and who has experience treating anxiety disorders. The Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies maintains a database of therapists so that folks can find someone in their area. Here is the link: http://www.findcbt.org/xFAT/ I also wanted to add two book recommendations: The Feeling Good Handbook, and Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.
**Edited to add book recommendations.
So something that helps me get through my panic attacks particularly when I'm at stage three and my mind is literally going "shit shit shit shit not again. Please no" is what I call the triple calm cannon.
Note that you should be watching a nice soothing tv show like something on HGTV or Bob Ross. Not a show that has a lot of loud noises or screams and groans.
Buy this Calm Magnesium Powder from Amazon. The magnesium supposedly eases anxiety pretty well. I personally swear by it. There are different flavors but I personally prefer lemon since it tastes like sparkling lemonade.
Natural Vitality Natural Calm Drink - 16 Oz. Lemon Drink, Organic Stress Relief Drink, Vegan Formula. Magnesium Supplement https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005VZA0KO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_7VYlBbBPY4DKA
Eat an orange. But specifically, peel the orange with your hands as it gives your body and mind a task to focus on other than freaking the hell out.
Finally brew a nice warm mug of some chamomile tea with about a tbsp of honey. This always gets me feeling relaxed. There's something about the immediate warmness and soothing taste that really calms me down and makes me feel like all is well in the world. I particularly enjoy this brand.
Traditional Medicinals Organic Chamomile Herbal Leaf Tea, 16 Tea Bags (Pack of 6) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0009F3PM6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Y0YlBb64F7GFX
I hope my triple calm cannon helps anyone and everybody avoid having to make another treacherous climb up motherfucking anxiety mountain.
According to mayo clinic coffee has 95-165mg per 8oz, and tea has 25-48mg, which is about the same as soda, but it can definitely add up and contribute to having more anxiety overall like you've said
Exactly this. The Power Of Now is also a great book for this. You said nothing is real or exists. But you know what does exist? The moment you are in now. So if there isn't anything else, why not just acknowledge and enjoy the moment you are in now? If you are anxious, this means you are worried for the future. The future doesn't exist, only now.
Your water/stone analogy reminds me of a quote from The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius:
"Be like the cliff against which waves continually break, yet stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it."
Visual metaphors like these have been surprisingly helpful in calming my anxious mind. Thanks for the new one!
I went through an existential crisis that may be somewhat analogous. I was obsessed with death, theology, cosmology etc. Here is what I discovered.
You are going to die. Your mom is going to die. You may not live past 40. That's the hand you are dealt. I have some annoying cardio issues, nothing like you have, but men in my family have heart attacks and stroke with alarming regularity. This is what's going to kill me, so what to do.
First, examine your results. How has worrying about death helped you solve the problem? Or brought you closer to truth?
If not, maybe worrying isn't the solution. I surrendered to the inevitable. I am going to die, everyone I know is going to die, and nothing any of us do will matter in a billion years.
The question then becomes, will absolute certainty we will die, how do we live? If this is your last 6 months on earth, what do you want to do? What's important to you? Who are you?
There is no objective purpose to my life, or yours. You define what your life means, and make it so.
1. Meds work for many. They did for me. Really, if your anxiety is a chemical malfunction in your brain the good luck solving it alone without meds.
2. Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Short book, amazing book. It's about a guy who survived a concentration camp, and his analysis of what led others to die or survive in the face of not only death, but horrible torture and suffering. Logotherapy is his invention, the idea that people with a purpose live longer, and can survive hardship.
3. Keep talking about this. One of the many things about anxiety that is so awful is that it keeps you from talking about it.
4. RME has good suggestion as well, CBT and mindfulness are excellent as well.
Thank you ☺️
And absolutely! I bought this book:
Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623157803?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf
I actually think I found it through someone else on this sub. It breaks down CBT in a way that allows you to “be your own therapist.” It guides you through 7 weeks the same way a therapist would: how does anxiety/depression affect X area of your life, what are your values, what are your goals for the next 7 weeks across all areas of life, track your activities/their importance/your enjoyment level, etc.
I’m only on week 2, but already I can see a difference in how I react to my anxious thoughts. At first I didn’t think the book would be right for me. A lot of the examples given are simplistic, more geared toward people with specific phobias, not GAD/panic disorder, etc. but once I got deeper into it I realized that it’s actually a great place to be honest with yourself and confront your anxiety in a non-intimidating way.
I would definitely recommend it!
Hey! I'd recommend this tin roof rain sound generator as well as the whole site! mynoise.net is a highly customizable noise generator that's helped me relax and fall asleep, especially the rain sounds. I usually turn down the high pitched sounds if I want a mellow sound to drift off to.
Daily coronavirus briefing: Boys of summer could be back ... this summer
Major League Baseball is eyeing a return to the field by the Fourth of July, according to ESPN. The league's commissioner, Rob Manfred, is meeting with the MLB Players Association on Tuesday to present the proposal, according to the report. The league's latest effort to bring back America's pastime will attempt to have games be played in each team's home city, but without fans in attendance. The shortened season will last about 82 games, while the playoff field will expand from 10 to 14 teams, according to ESPN. If the 2020 season does take place, it will include a universal designated hitter. There are still several concerns that the players are looking to have addressed as they negotiate their return, including how testing will take place, as well as health protections for players, families and stadium staff.
The book has been updated over the years so make sure you find the latest one. This is the book though (may not be the latest one though): https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C
On the topic of both mindfulness and meditation, try the Headspace program. I know it's been mentioned here before, but just in case someone hasn't seen it - it's made a world of difference for me and has kind of catapulted me into a different mindset. Or at least catapulted me far enough along the way that I can see what a huge difference it'll eventually make. This after a lengthy period of desperation, too.
Thanks for the list OP - we can never have too many options. The same things don't work for all of us.
Definitely meditation, being more aware of your thoughts also helps you being more in control.
And being on the now is also the best tool to combat anxiety because anxiety is rumination about the past failures and worry about the future. Relearning how to be in the present really has made a different, you can try checking Zen Habits, a blog where that helped me practice self awareness.
Learned Optimism. This book helped me a lot with depression, its based on cognitive behavioral therapy and how by changing the way we explain things that happen to us, we can become more positive and resist depression better. You can skip to Part III if you don't want to read the history and how they proved it work.
A Guide to the Good Life. Its a book about Stoicism, how to let go of our worries and found it particularly useful due to how practical it is. Stoicism and Buddhism offer some great tools to deal with anxiety, you don't have to become a believer, just use the tools.
And another thing I noticed helped me recover faster was to maintain a routine, even if its just waking up at a given hour, eating breakfast and reading, the fact you maintain it will prevent you from falling into deeper depressive moods.
It may feel like some days are impossible to go through but if you hold onto your routine and take small steps towards recovery you'll notice you have the strength within to overcome it.
Yes, this happens to me frequently!
Anxiety is a trigger of the "fight or flight" mechanism. The reason you lose productivity is that you feel anxious about whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. When you indulge in distractions instead, you indulge the need for "flight." You think, "I know I need to get started, but I don't know how. Rather than think about that and get stressed out, I'll get on Facebook instead so I don't get stressed out."
A great book for this is Steven Pressfield's The War of Art - Winning the Inner Creative Battle.
Idk where you are, so can't help too much there. But do try Meetup.com. I am currently attending a meetup every week where I converse with other learners in Spanish. I won't speak for others but the one I'm attending is super wholesome and people are really nice and patient. I've definitely seen reading and hiking groups on there but I guess it depends where you are.
I highly suggest reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Frankl. It's incredibly insightful, and very helpful for those of us who suffer from anxiety and depression. It really puts things in perspective.
I had a sort-of victory today. I've been having a mild freak-out regarding my relationship with my landlord (who lives upstairs), but I've been reading Mindfulness in Plain English at the behest of a friend of mine and tried mindful meditation for 10 minutes, and I actually feel like it helped, not just in the moment but I felt significantly calmed for a good while after.
I had terrible sleep patterns for many years. The following things helped me. Try not to make too much change too quickly or expect change overnight (badum tish)
1) Having a reason to wake up in the morning.
2) Exercise during the day, not too close to bed time.
3) No coffee any later than the morning. Caffeine has a half-life of five hours. Cut down on sugar also.
4) Either no screen time or use an app to reduce the brightness of your screen.
5) Read in bed or find something that you do that is mildly engaging - not stimulating, but distracting.
6) Plan your next morning/day. Write or type a list of things you need to do. Breaking down your problems helps them seem manageable, gives you concrete things to think about rather than amorphous worry.
I have the same problem focusing. So I found stoic literature to be much more helpful.
>“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
>“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
>“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
All from Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius. Related to Mindfulness, but a bit more pragmatic.
A copy of Meditations is a light read and I've seen it for as low a $1 at library and bookstore sales. It's $2-14 at most online booksellers.
My # one tool is being present.
If I start feeling anxiety, I get myself "into the moment". I feel what is going on right now, I look around at where I am and what is going on around me. I exist. I let myself exist. I allow myself to feel however it is I am feeling, and I don't judge it, or try to understand it, or reason with it. I don't fight it, or hide from it, or try to stop the feelings.
I always end up feeling amazing after. It's like letting yourself feel those things instead of fighting it makes it dissolve.
If anyone is interested in learning more about this, I have 4 resources I recommend (and in this specific order)
1) Panicaway.com - Buy this. It teaches you so much about controlling anxiety and is needed to get to the phase of accepting anxiety.
2) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - This book was amazing for me. It might not seem like a book for anxious people, but it is. Trust me. It helps with worry a lot.
3) Mood Gym - https://moodgym.anu.edu.au - Sign up. It's free. Start unwarping your thoughts and turning off your 'Negative' self talk (which I'm sure we are ALL guilty of at some point)
4) The Power of Now - This book was the key for me - learning to accept the now and feel my being pretty much made anxiety non existent. I didn't have to fight anxiety to beat it, even tho everything in your body makes you feel like fighting it is how you win. It's not. By accepting you win by default - without going through the fight.
This might be a stretch as you've mentioned that you have difficulty with standing/being still and any amount of time. But I find mindful meditation to help out a lot. I use this APP;
I find it to be very helpful as it tries to find mediations based on the emotions that you're feeling in that moment. My favorite one is "Mindful Breathing" as it guides me (it doesn't play music and let you go, the tracks are tailored with various goals) and helps me, not stop, but curve my thought patterns until I fell calm (sometimes, for a few hours, other times, I get a better nights sleep). Eventually, you're able to identify various thought patterns and saw "You're unhelpful and go against me, go away"
Another thing I do is a breathing exercise that my psychologist taught me years ago. It's easy; Breath in for 4 counts, pause while holding your breath for 2 and exhaling for 6. 4-2-6. i tap out the time on my finger tips so if people see me doing that, all they see is a little quirk that doesn't bother anyone else.
Both methods aren't quick fixes, they are tools that you need to practice in order to reap the full results. I do mediation before I go to bed (I've falling asleep while doing that, that's normal) and I eventually had to by a thumb ring to wear and whenever I saw the ring, I had to do 10 rounds of the 4-2-6 counts.
I hope this helps!
Are you seriously suggesting self-medicating for anxiety using alcohol in an intentional attempt to induce permanent brain damage?
The article says:
>Protein kinase C-epsilon in the amygdala is important for regulating behavioral responses to morphine, ethanol, and controlling anxiety-like behavior.
At best you can conclude that binge drinking affects anxiety. It might make it worse, not better. And anxiety and problematic drinking appear to at least be related though I can't find anything to say the latter causes the former. Regardless, bad idea, better to talk to a doctor.
What infection rates in Iceland and Australia may reveal about COVID-19
Similar to what I've posted before, but it seems to be consistently confirmed.
New study says 'high temperature and high relative humidity significantly reduce' spread of COVID-19
So I'm not a doctor but I've had this before and gotten checked.
It sounds like either
Sebaceous Cyst - A small cyst under the skin that can form for no reason. I have a few. Many of them are in the areas I tend to get acne.
Pretty bad ingrown hair. Give it a few days to a week and go back and try to lance it, or go to a dermatologist and get it lanced. It'll be gross but you'll feel tons better.
There's a small chance because of the area it's in that it's herpes if it's more blister like than pus-like but I seriously doubt that.
The only thing I can tell you is you almost certainly don't have cancer. Get it checked by a dermatologist if you're really worried.
Panic Attack Tips
I feel like the mods should have some sort of stickied thread in addition to the sidebar that's more noticeable for someone who might currently be having an episode. Glad to hear you're okay friend :)
You don't have to exercise at all for meditation, so i would urge you to give it a try, all you need to do is sit still, and listen to the recording. Maybe it's even available trough their website: https://www.headspace.com/ in case you don't have a android/Ios smartphone.
Lashing out at people is very common when we are experiencing high stress, i hope your managers are able to see trough that.
>I just wish I could go online and be assured of talking to people like myself, and not federal agents
So what makes you think that a bunch of anonymous strangers online aren't FBI agents? If you're really so concerned about it use anonymous IP's or Tor (https://www.torproject.org/) to protect your identity.
I had only been dealing with anxiety for a very short time, 3 months of non stop panic attacks/depersonalization/nervousness. I honestly was going crazy and afraid of living like this for the rest of my life. I started seeing a therapist, which helped, but not enough. I was afraid of going on medication, so I refused to be prescribed anything. One day while on Amazon, I began browsing through self-help books and stumbled upon Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Panic Attacks, and I began to read. I read the book in 2 days and holy crap I felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I've seen this book get recommended in here a few times. If I could give you all free copies I would. It helped me tremendously and got my life back. I have been doing fine for the past 2 months, I'm not going to tell you that I don't get anxious anymore. I still do every so often, BUT I have learned how to diffuse it. I highly recommend it to everybody. I hope that every one of you will be able to find peace, whether it be through this book or in another way because I know it's hell.
So i did spend the 200 dollars on one and i gotta say it was wellllll worth it but it took about 3 days to get used to.
actually just checking amazon the price dropped
link to blanket
It's that even thought i'm sometimes fed up with everything and feel like i'm doing nothing well, i still go forward. It's what i told myself when i started going to therapy. I have had a strong resolve since i had the breakdown about 2 and a half years ago, to make myself feel better, make my life more enjoyable. I've had it enough of feeling like shit, doing things half assed without any passion, not being able to enjoy nice things, compliments, striping myself off of things that mean a lot to me. I want to live and i'll get there no matter how long it takes me, no matter what or who comes in front of me, i'll be happy one day because i know i can do it, that's my ultimate goal in life. To be content with myself the way i am and it's what kept me going through this couple of hard confusing years.
I don't feel good for the last week, yesterday a friend told me he read a book called Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It's kind of a diary where he puts his thoughts, reminds himself of his goals, what his aspirations are so he doesn't go off track. It only dawned on me today what my friend said and how i can use it on myself, i reminded myself why i'm doing all of this and i feel a bit better. I have the tendency to push to hard, i have a lot of things waiting for me, i will give my best to resolve them but i won't push myself too hard. Cheers people and keep on keeping on!
I have a few!
I am very sorry that you have not gotten help despite seeking it.
I am not a doctor, but I found for me, SSRI dosing was very important - GAD often responds better to lower doses than GP's usually prescribe for depression and whatnot.
I have also found the sections of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook on CBT very helpful. They are not called CBT in that book; they call them something like Cognitive Distortions and Mistaken Beliefs or some other plain-language name, but basically they list the most common cognitive distortions that come with GAD and describe the techniques for training your brain away from them. Another book that really helped me was Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat Zin.
Oh yeah, this happens to me a lot. My anxiety likes to manifest itself as cardiac-related symptoms (chest tightness, heart palpitations, tingly feelings in my arms, etc), so I'll feel those and start thinking that I'm about to have a heart attack, which will make me panic more, which makes the symptoms worse, and so on.... -sigh-
It's hard to break the cycle. Sometimes I just end up crying, which will usually release some of the tension and worry I'm holding. I've heard mindfulness techniques are helpful, but I haven't practiced them much. I really need to start trying it. Sometimes herbal tea can help also. Chamomile tea usually helps me feel calm. Try to avoid caffeine as well, that can make anxiety worse.
One other thing I've found helpful lately is listening to this song, it's specially designed to be calming and to slow your heartbeat. I like to just close my eyes and lie down and just listen. Pairing the song with other white noise like Rainymood is also very effective.
There are some things that people cannot do. For example, some people cannot be in a long-distance relationship, they just refuse to. They know it would be too draining or too much of a strain on them. Others can't function well when so closely involved with someone who has a mental illness. The purpose of a relationship is not to make you feel bad, a relationship is supposed to complement your life. If the relationship is bringing you down, I highly recommend ending it. it's the best thing you can do for the both of you. Don't stay because you feel guilt or pity. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone only because they pity them.
In addition, SOs of people with mental illness should avoid enabling it, and also should avoid becoming a punching bag, so to speak. If you stood up for yourself and your needs and she didn't really respond, I think you need to see if a relationship with someone like this meets your physical and emotional needs in a relationship.
If, despite this, you do desire to make it work, try this book: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/loving-someone-with-anxiety-kate-n-thieda/1112985545?ean=9781608826117
or try seeing a therapist/counselor yourself.
It sounds like your son has a much harder time with decisions than I do, but something that works for me is this: I have a "deciderator". It used to be a regular old penny, but now if I can't make a decision I pull out my deciderator, ask it a simple yes or no question, and Honest Abe is always "Yes". Because I use it exclusively for this purpose, in my twisted mind it has gained talismanic powers of knowing what I should do. When I have multiple choices, I usually use a random number generator: either a die, the last last digit of the seconds at the moment I look at a clock, or a proper random number generator. It may help your son somewhat, but it is certainly no substitute to checking with a child psychologist. I believe you can probably have a sit down with a doctor prior to bringing your son in - and she can tell you how best to bring him in so it doesn't freak him out.
It is a "game" where you get points for doing certain activities that are supposed to help with mental health. I believe it is only for iPhone. You can learn more on their site: https://www.superbetter.com/
Have you heard of habitica? I've been using it as a to-do list for while and it's helped me break through a similar state of paralysis. There's less of an incentive to give up because even when I can't do everything on my list, I still get points for what I do manage to do, so it feels like every little thing counts for something. I'd recommend it.
But yeah, start by setting simple goals and build up gradually so it's not too overwhelming.
I have both a dialectical and cognitive behavioral therapy book. Here are links to Amazon for them:
The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution https://www.amazon.com/dp/160623918X/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_TkInzbEA1SPKC
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_-lInzbVZ0BS9H
I also recently saw a book called "Anxious in Love" that looked interesting.
A man cold is the common cold, but for men like me, it makes me completely useless. I use all my energy at work and then I'm done for the day. Which is worse when you have anxiety and depression.
Citalopram is an SSRI, (also known as Celexa) it's used to treat both anxiety and depression (as well as a host of other conditions)
I found that it takes more than just the SSRIs to deal with the What ifs.
They give you a boost, but it's like re aligning your brain. My Doctor recommended Feeling Good, the new mood therapy by Dr Burns (amazon link
(Note for mods: the Amazon link is not an affiliate link)
I managed to get the eBook for cheap and it has quite a bit of homework that helps train your brain to worry less about the What ifs and really analyse them.
Once you are able to fully realise what the What ifs are coming from, you are able to navigate life worrying about them.
I have a Zonli one, I paid like $150 but depending on the size and weight you want, you can get them on Amazon for like $70. I sleep much better with it, and I'll even sit under it during the day anytime I feel anxious and it instantly calms me down. Best of luck
It doesn't talk about depression or anxiety pointedly, but a lot of the issues I've encountered that eventually caused some depression or anxiety were eased by reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I read it while already in therapy, and it helped greatly.
For example, once, I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about people's perceptions of me, and I turned to this particular passage: "Or is it your reputation that's bothering you? But look at how soon we're all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of those applauding hands. The people who praise us; how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region it takes place. The whole earth a point in space - and most of it uninhabited." It might seem even more depressing to some, but to me it was soothing.
I don't know if this will help at all, but you reminded me of a passage I read from the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by the psychologist Viktor Frankl. He was talking about how he had a patient who had a serious problem with sweating, and he got very anxious and nervous about it in public, which would cause him to sweat even more.
So what Frankl suggested he do was instead of becoming more anxious and nervous when he began to sweat (triggering the obsessive/anxious thoughts about others around him noticing/judging), he told him to try to sweat as much as he could instead. Instead of worrying about how much he was sweating and trying to conceal it, he suggested he tried to do a 180 with his attitude and sort of try to push the sweat out instead of trying to hide it. I think it's probably some form of exposure therapy.
Anyway, just wanted to share that. Obviously you can't just go to class tomorrow and automatically stop being worried about the blushing, but you could try giving it a try. I myself have really bad problem with sweating in public/class when I get very nervous, which triggers my anxiety and then I begin to sweat more (which I'm assuming is the same with your blushing). I tried a few times to "let" myself sweat as much as I could, but it didn't last long because the anxious thoughts were too much to handle. But I've been able to do it successfully a couple times, so who knows, maybe it could help? Either way, good luck with that! Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to push advice on you, it just really reminded me of that passage.
How far away are your tests?
Depending on what your courses are you could find tutors/classes online to help you learn what you missed. Things like http://www.khanacademy.org/ are a godsend when you need to learn things on your own.
I too have this same feeling, but I just chalk it up to mental fatigue caused by the anxiety. It seems to be a pretty common symptom from my understanding.
Ever since December when my anxiety started I just haven't felt like myself. I find myself struggling to think things thoroughly and critically enough. Considering this is my 2nd semester in my Sophomore year in college, this is pretty important. It is even worse for me considering I was classified as semi-genius in High School. Yet sometimes I feel dumber now lol.
Are you a podcast listener? Invisibilia did an episode that covered this topic. This might be an interesting listen for you. I know it's helped some other people understand intrusive thoughts.
The Secret History of Thoughts
Try using f.lux on your computer. It might make your screen a little wonky, but it helps by reducing blue light which has a strong impact on your circadian rhythm. It works wonders for me.
Right there with you thanks to PMDD. I'm playing RainyMood (http://www.rainymood.com/ and SilentWatcher (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsPBplWLImI) videos at the same time. They always help me. [edited to make URLs visible]
Yes! Although it's not on the Amazon store (I'm working on that), you can side load it. Here's the link to the APK.
Death is the end so you shouldn't be anxious about it. Dying/almost death is worth thinking about and avoiding. In general, though, if you die young, it will be an accident or a decision, and you generally cant avoid the accidents.
This may sound morbid but sometimes when I am fixated on death I like to look up the world death clock/birth clock (http://www.worldometers.info/) and other statistics to try to wrap my head around how many people are being born and dying at any given second. Some people might think this is debilitating, but in a weird way its kind of freeing. There is very little you can do to avoid death. You can't prevent yourself from being in the wrong place at the wrong time by not doing anything all the time.
Dont drink and drive. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. If your friend dares you to do something DOUBLE DOG DARE him back. Don't hang out on train tracks for your senior pictures. Don't play Russian roulette.
Other than that please know that a meteor could kill you at any time no matter how careful you are. You really have to decide if you are going to let fear control you- potentially living longer and then dying in a grocery store parking lot of a brain aneurism holding a big bag of bananas cause you only eat foods that are gentle for digestion, OR you could live your life grounded in the reality that every day you are lucky to be alive, and that one day you won't be, and you will die. Use your worrying for things like how the hell you will pay for college, how you will find a meaningful career, or how you will survive when the earth heats up and we are all under water.
It's not a dating website.
It's for finding people who like to do things.
Edit: if they don't have one in your city, you can make a group for shy people. There's one in mine.
Might I suggest this one?:
It was suggested to me through my therapist and has some really good stuff.
My most reliable coping mechanisms are the following in combination:
Remind myself that this is only a panic attack. Nothing is physically wrong with me. The experience, while truly awful in the moment, is temporary (most only last for 15-30 minutes) and will be over soon.
Wrap myself up in a heavy comforter or blanket. There are specifically designed weighted blankets for exactly this, but they can cost quite a bit. I find a heavier comforter to work more or less the same. Bonus points if it's warm from the dryer.
If I have the mental capacity to do anything more than sit down and focus exclusively on not dying, I'll also make a nice warm cup of decaffeinated herbal tea (chamomile for example).
Ambient sounds and meditation. Imagine each intrusive thought as a cloud passing by overhead, then dissipating into nothingness. They can't hurt you. They're only thoughts passing by...
Hope this helps!
What is it about flights that scare you? the claustrophobia? the lack of control? the albeit extremely small risk of aircraft problems?
I cannot recommend anything to do with drugs but perhaps https://www.headspace.com/ and their foundation / managing anxiety will help you in the long term
The good thing is that you know it's anxiety, that's the first step, the 2nd step is not being afraid of symptoms of anxiety, it's not easy but you can get there, the 3rd step is accepting that while on an airplane, certain things are out of your control
in other words:
awareness and being present with the anxiety and understanding the mind / body connection and which thoughts set you off and how they set you off
changing your relationship with mind anxiety, it won't go away and you can't get rid of it, but you can change your physical and emotional reactions to thoughts and feelings to break the cycle
You may not be having a full on panic attack, but your anxiety about breathing could be causing you to have trouble breathing. Many people with anxiety think they have health issues, when it is really just anxiety itself.
Breathing exercises are crucial. Here is some good information on anxiety amd breathing, as well as breathing exercise instructions. I also heard the app called Headspace is a great tool for breathing/meditation.
I'm not quite sure what to say here aside from: you are not alone. I too struggle with this issue. I often prioritize work over myself and find it incredibly draining and exhausting.
Lately I've been trying to get into the habit of meditating for just 10 minutes in the morning. I'm using an app called Headspace that has been helpful.
I feel I'm making small progress, but wish I could flip a switch and deal with issues like other people (or at least, how I perceive them to deal with them). I find small issues and thoughts consume me and make me lose focus what actual priority items.
I'm trying to figure out a way to calm myself before spiraling in the hole. I know when it's coming now, my brain says "back away" but I have a hard time listening to it. I often feel that if I can just tackle X then everything will be better, or if I don't tackle X then everything else will suffer.
It's an uphill battle for me right now, but stepping away and breathing seem to really help.
Hey there! Sorry to hear anxiety is having such a big effect on you.
Anxiety is a lot about asking yourself "what if", you are fearing something that hasn't happened yet, and likely isn't going to happen.
By the sounds of it you could use some help to figure this out, so i would suggest finding a mental health care professional that can help you work trough this. However, meanwhile there are things you can try by yourself, practice ways to keep your mind in the moment: Mindfullness is something that is focused on that, but Meditation and Yoga are both also very suited for this, i always recommend HeadSpace since it has helped me incredible ammounts and has (free) apps for both Iphone and Android.
Alternatively you can challenge yourself, by going out somewhere where you have to wait, believe in yourself that you can do this, because you can, even if you manage to stay there for a second longer then last time, view it as a victory, because you manage to be stronger then your anxiety. Feel free to ask any questions here if you have any, there are many of us that have been in very similar situations and be happy to help.
Here is a Seven day round trip flight from Boston to London for $370. I'm not sure where you are, but flights to Europe have never been cheaper. You should at least look into it.
I'm really happy to hear that! You know what helped change everything for me was a lecture series on evolutionary psychology. They were talking about OCD's place in evolution (an anxiety disorder). People who had OCD in the early days of humanity were the only people looking out for the future of their tribes. Worrying was literally their job. That trait is largely unnecessary in today's society but still exists in the people who descended from the original tribal planners.
That’s a very good point, if you like working through things on your own and reading books, the Feeling Good Handbook is a great way to do that: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380731762/.
But if you can afford therapy, you may as well do both - buy Feeling Good, read a few chapters on dealing with anxiety, and also find a therapist that you like.
Reading this book is highkey the single most helpful thing literally anyone can do for their anxiety. Worth every penny.
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook
Thanks for this!!! And you can add another book from David Burns called "When Panic Attacks" which is more about anxiety and other disorders and it's more recent.
Link to amazon
There is one I used to have, let me try to find it--
ah, here it is found it: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wakie.android&hl=en_US
Maybe it's funny but I play Toon blast on my phone. My anxiety can get pretty bad but I got totally addicted to that game.
Read The Worry Cure. He has got several strategies for dealing with the "What if" scenario.
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Actually, your mind wandering is the entire point of mindfulness meditation. What you want to do is simply notice your mind wandering. Don't judge yourself for it, just silently acknowledge your awareness of your wandering mind. Then, return your mental focus to whatever object you're meditating on. When you go through this process of awareness, acknowledgement, and refocusing, you are mentally exercising your mindfulness ability.
At least for me, the easiest object to focus on is the physical sensation of breathing in and out of your nose. Don't try to control your breathing at all, just breathe evenly, and focus intensely on the physical sensation of it.
After a certain amount of time doing this, your mind should quiet down, and you should be easily able to hold your attention on your breathing. It then becomes extremely relaxing and soothing. With practice, the amount of time it takes for your mind to quiet itself gets shorter, and you will also be able to easily become aware of your thoughts and re-focus on your breath.
As a fellow GAD sufferer, I highly recommend it. Mindfulness meditation has helped me immensely in calming myself and learning to spot and stop (or at least dampen) anxious thoughts.
I would recommend Mindfulness in Plain English as an excellent beginner's guide.
U/iamthereaperofman said, "To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative." Viktor E. Frankl. -Man's Search for Meaning
Mindfulness, bro. Practice loving-kindness meditation. "May I be happy, may I be peaceful, may I be freed from suffering". It can keep you from rounding on yourself about a feeling that arose on its own.
Trying to feel where the anxiety manifests itself in your body is worthwhile as well. Focusing on the physical sensation moment to moment may decrease the anxiety and it can help you to perceive it more as a temporary occurrence rather than an ongoing issue that must be circumvented at that very moment.
"Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn is a great book. As is "The Mindfulness Solution" by Ronald Siegel. It might sound like mumbo jumbo but I recommend everyone give it the ole' college try.
This is my quote, as I state at the bottom there. I tidied it up a little, though.
Read a couple books by Dr.Claire Weekes -- basically all modern anxiety treatment is based on her works. Her method is essentially teaching mindfulness to her patients.
Mindfulness itself has an amazing amount of science with studies done all over the world. It's something that has been practiced and refined over thousands of years.
Here's a quick video:
Jon Kabat-Zinn is responsible for bringing mindfulness into western medicine. His books are amazing -- Full Catastrophe Living is probably best if you're looking for anxiety-related stuff. Look him up if you want his credentials.
I don't think I made any 'wild claims'. If there's anything you're having trouble understanding, allow me to clarify it for you.
Yes, OP can also check out insight timer
Maybe this will at least help you get out of bed. You can set up a captcha so the alarm will not turn off until you solve it. I used to use an NFC sticker but now I use a QR code on the bathroom mirror.
I read this site called Anxietyboss.com. They have a lot of information heavy articles that really provides a lot of insight to anxiety that's in a way comforting. I love reading posts like this because it sort of gives a visual view of how anxiety works and it helps keep me sort of aware of what's going on when I have a panic attack. Dunno if that makes sense.
I also use the app Worry Box because it's like a journal... but it's always with me so I don't like skip out on writing out my thoughts. It's also easy to look through when I need to get my head leveled again, so that's a plus.
It's gonna sound stupid but I use an app that helps me concentrate on my breathing. I try not to take them but I won't be caught without my xanex (is my prescription) and I take an anti depressant everyday. Those have helped me a lot. You need to tall to a doctor of some sorts. I still get panicky several times a day for no reason but I have tools to help me through it now. Good luck, there are a lot of us in your boat even if it seems like you're all alone. Edit: I use an app like this only the non free version. Don't waste your money though. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.saagara.universalpranayamafree
Anxiety issues aside for a moment here, and I don't mean to scare you, but this is important: please, please, please fix this now. I had this issue when I was your age. I was put into algebra at 12 and struggled right then, but was never able to fix it, I never got tutoring, help, anything. To this day, I can't math. It's caused me to change my major from Biology to Journalism because I couldn't pass pre-calc. They're teaching you basics that will carry over for years. I was able to get good enough at math to pass middle school and most of high school, but lacking the basics had me lost once I hit college math.
Can you talk to a guidance counselor? A different math teacher, maybe the same one you had last year?
I sometimes find information doesn't stick with me because I don't understand it properly... Is there a way you can have it explained to you from the ground up? What specific topics are you struggling with? I didn't do terribly in earlier stages of math, or began understanding them further down the line, so I might be able to explain in a new way.
Also, keep in mind that some aspects of math you're just expected to accept early on. I don't know if you've started trigonometry, but early on, they just tell you what the functions are and how they're used. I learned these at about 14, and didn't have their sources explained, and therefore didn't completely understand them, until I was 16, when I was showed the Unit Circle.
Try this if you haven't: http://www.khanacademy.org/ . Khan Academy is a tutoring website where the creator walks you completely through topics, especially math. You can go as far down in the line as you need, he explains it simply. It's helped me in many math topics.
I liked this one.
In my experience this is usually an age thing, or a limerence thing. Find someone you would be great friends with even if you weren't attracted to them, it will be less anxiety inducing because you'll have lots to do and talk about, and they won't get boring once those exciting feels wear off.
Have you ever used Flux?
It gradually adjusts your screen color depending on the time of day. I think it'll help somewhat by having your eyes adjust gradually. If you've just had it at the same brightness all day, you'll just get used to that. But maybe with the gradual change, you can kind of trick your body into thinking it's time to fall asleep.
Well, anxiety and/or depression can have causes that can be determined with a blood test:
I am trying to find out what other causes of anxiety can be tested with a simple blood test. I've been to half a dozen doctors, and it was only after doing research myself did I discover that hyperthyroidism could be a cause.
Great workbook, simple and helps you grow.
This is the book I use and I really like it. Simple and helps you grow.
How about reading a book with a white noise machine? I also use bathing as a coping skill and found that the noise from the running bath water has a very calming effect. I recommend Rainy Mood as a possible replacement.
I would recommend starting with codecadaemy for the basics. Beyond that, I honestly just started googling about jscript and C# and doing a bunch of reading. Once you feel like you have a firm grasp of the basics of whatever coding language you chose, the best way (for me at least) to continue learning was with hands on experience trying to code things.
Keep in mind that coding, especially your first few projects, can be incredibly frustrating. Don't sit there and rage at your computer. Make sure to step back and take breaks. Drink some coffee, do some meditation. Maybe take a relaxing shower or watch an episode of your favorite series on TV, then come back to your project with fresh eyes and a happier mental state.
Best of luck!
I'm not a psychiatrist, but this sounds like agoraphobia. One of the hallmarks of agoraphobia is the fear of leaving one's house. It can appear after one or several panic attacks. There's got to be a network or group somewhere that can get her the help she needs.
For me, listening to nature sounds for example http://www.rainymood.com/ tends to really help. Also, hugging things and drinking calming teas before bed. But everyone's different - try out a bunch of things and see what works best for her. Hope she feels better soon!
I know what you mean, it's the sudden loud thuds that seem to trigger my fight/flight response too. I feel the vibrations in the floor here as well, which I did not expect that from a new-build apartment. I actually went out of my way to pick an expensive new-build apartment because I was so desperate for peace and quiet, but it's hardly an improvement over the old, which just makes it so much worse.
Anyway, this is what I use for brown noise: https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/whiteNoiseGenerator.php?l=69452323232323232323
I use that in combination with my Bose QuietComfort 35 II and enable noise cancellation. The noise cancellation isn't all that effective for sudden loud thuds in my experience, but it seems to be better than nothing.
I think anti-vibration mats placed under the feet of the bed might help, like the ones you place under washing machines. I haven't tried it myself, but it's definitely something I am considering too. I think that'd be more effective than rugs, at least.
Of course, and likewise I'd be interested in any solutions you come across. Thanks for reaching out.
Have you tried ambient noise? Sites like mynoise.net or Rainy Mood (has an app too) help me a lot. Here is one that I use often. :)
this is a helpful guide.
It doesn't mention pressure changes. I wold suggest taking a packet of hard sweets to suck at take off and landing to help your ears equalise to the change in pressure.
you will only need to check in when you take off, not when you leave. There is normally a big sign telling you what airline the desk is for and they will generally announce it over the tannoy.
Check the website of your airline for the dimensions of a carry-on bag and for a list of what is or isn't allowed. you can normally take only one, so if you carry a handbag (not sure if f or m) make sure you have room to stuff it in the top of the carry-on bag. I would suggest taking a spare shirt and underwear in your carry-on as well as an empty water bottle as you will be able to fill it once you have gone through check in.
To make you stuff easier to identify get a length of really lurid ribbon or paracord and wrap it round the handles so it really stands out.
edit to add - unlike in Home Alone it is really hard to get on the wrong flight - at least 2 people will check your ticket, at the check in desk and at the plane.
There is a subreddit dedicated to solo travel: /r/solotravel
Travel is expensive. That's the hard truth. You have to figure out what you can afford. Your flight to Narita will probably be the most expensive list item. Flying mid-week tends to be cheaper and summer tends to be expensive. Use something like Google Flights to find the cheapest days to fly.
Once you get to Tokyo you'll probably want to use the Shinkansen to visit Kyoto and Osaka. While flying and night busing may be cheaper it will not be as pleasant or as cool as a 200mph train ride.
Food costs depend on your preferences. If you're fine with eating noodle soup and rice triangles the whole day then it won't be too expensive. If you're into real restaurants then it will leave you yen-less.
Hostels are inexpensive and great places to stay when traveling alone. You're guaranteed to meet fellow travelers and explore together.
Definitely plan out what you want to see, how to get there, and how much it costs. For me planning reduces travel anxiety significantly.
They can be discolored for other reasons (e.g., Raynaud’s, poor circulation, etc.) but the specific blue discoloration he was referring to is called cyanosis. This slideshow briefly discusses the etiology and different presentations of cyanosis
Oh, and here's the link to flux, if you're using your computer late in the evening I'd recommend giving it a try. I selected in settings to have it gradually change over after sunset so it's not a sudden, jarring color change. I'm unaware that it's even installed until something like your question reminds me. Not sure if it really helps, but it certainly doesn't hurt.
> I feel extreme anxiety, sometimes it feels like pure terror and I can't stop crying.
I am sorry you endure that pain.
> it's extremely embarrassing. Just being a grown woman crying hysterically over practically nothing.
We fight demons everyday not even a soldier has to do that. Please give yourself credit.
I don't know what could help your panic attacks exactly, but I have some ideas:
Distracting yourself with something you enjoy for me that is video games.
https://www.7cups.com It is basically free therapy.
I hope that helps.
> I want to hurt myself so badly
> I hate living like this.
I hate my life to. It is painful always filled with stress, and enjoyment is mild if any at all. I am assuming you feel the same way, and I said that, so you feel less alone. I am very bad at giving emotional advice/support because I am very dry as a person.
> thinking about how easy it would be to just slice my arm open, OD on medication or go for a "drive" and then just killing myself.
I had suicidal thoughts, and I actually tried to kill myself, so I know what it is like. Please don't do it even if it is very tempting your kids need you. I don't know what it is like to be a parent, but is there any way you could make you house life easier somehow?
> I cry every day
I am sorry you are in that pain.
> have no IRL friends
Same it sucks.
Here is a site you might it like https://www.7cups.com
It is completely free therapy site, and I think anonymous as well. If you are feeling bad talk to them.
I hope this helps.
Actually, the grapefruit causes the blood levels of Zoloft to increase. Im not a doctor, but I doubt having some candy would be enough to interact. I would worry more if you had eaten an entire grapefruit or had a bottle of juice. Just keep tabs on how you're feeling. Here's a webmd reference about grapefruit and sertraline: https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-35-8095/zoloft-oral/sertraline-oral/details/list-interaction-details/dmid-67/dmtitle-avoid-grapefruit-unless-md-instructs-otherwise/intrtype-food
Propanalol is one of the most common beta blockers prescribed, and is also what I'm taking. Here are some side effects. The ones that you're most likely to run into are going to be lightheadedness/dizziness, as it lowers your blood pressure. In that same vein, some people mention having some degree of drowsiness, too.
I personally haven't noticed any side effects, nor have I felt my pulse drastically change after taking it, though I've only been taking 5-10 mg (and it works--it's the perfect amount for me) and a lot of people take 80+ mg/day, to my knowledge.
It isn't an antidepressant, it is in a completely different class of medication. Antidepressants work in your brain by changing the way that your brain cells interact with chemical messengers, like serotonin, which is what Zoloft works with.
On the other hand, beta blockers work on your heart (and other organs, must mostly your heart) by blocking spots on your heart where adrenaline normally binds, which ends up reducing the "flight-or-flight" response that your body has when adrenaline is normally excreted (i.e. sweaty palms, shaking, nervousness, etc.).
Taking a beta blocker and Zoloft could mildly increase the effect of either. There are also other reasons why you might not be able to take it, most commonly being that your blood pressure is already very low (resting heart rate in the lower end of the 60s). Though, it's definitely worth mentioning to her next week.
I wish you the best of luck on your exam! Update us on how you're doing!
I feel bad for pretty much repeating the same thing on every mindfulness meditation post but I swear by this app:
It's completely free - no cap on the number of meditations you can do before you have to start paying. Different modules for different contexts (e.g. sleep, public transport, work, university/college, primary school kids, etc.) I should probably use it more than I do. I use the sleep modules the most because I find it hard to wind down to sleep at night and sleep quality affects my anxiety the next day. If I do wake up feeling anxious and I'm short on time, I listen to the public transport one on the train to university. It even takes into account what you can do if you're standing up vs sitting down on public transport which I think is pretty neat.
Give it a go. Mindfulness isn't instant - it can be a bit of a learning curve to wind down and anchor yourself in the present when your mind is telling you to be anxious about everything. But it becomes easier with practice.
Source: Me (studying to be a clin psych & living with anxiety) and other clin psychs at my practice recommend this app too.
Rain is the best, especially when combined with really chill music. Nothing is more soothing. Sadly it never rains enough. So in the meantime I must make do.
Hey, what you're experiencing is pretty common for folk with anxiety! You're not dying, just experiencing something that's called "air hunger". It's really scary and can absolutely raise your anxiety levels.
Breathing techniques tend to be a great combatant for this. It's important to remember that you are getting enough air, your body is just tricking you into thinking you aren't. Try to concentrate on just breathing normally. Using a breathing technique tool is very helpful with this sort of thing. https://www.calm.com/breathe
Sometimes we don’t realise the pressure we put on ourselves and it’s hard to just be what we are.
I’ve been learning about radical compassion in the calm app master class and it’s really been working well for me. See if this comes through. I use Calm, this should give you a free voucher to try https://www.calm.com/gp/bfndt9
yea i ended up downloading some apps one is called Daylio so i can monitor my mood and the other one is Calm so that i can instantly help myself through breathing exercises and such. someone else on here said wetwipes help them when they don't have access to water for face submersion.