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Same situation - Read Models by Mark Manson - No More Mister Nice Guy by Robert Glover and The Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi. Also check out RSDmaterial I think they're very good. Since I started reading and learning this stuff half a year ago i have had way more opportunities with girls, had a couple of make outs and even have a friend with benefits atm who's a solid 8 plus having to reject a few. This shits legit my friend haha. I was a semi hard case at one stage. It's madness.

>: Focus the conversation on her. You don’t have to say that much about yourself, especially in your first conversation. In fact, you can tell her very little while having her open up and tell her almost everything about herself

I have a different take on this one though. I agree with you that talking about oneself too much can be a show of neediness but not talking to yourself at all kinda shows too. It shows that you're not comfortable with being vulnerable. There's a part in Models by Mark Manson which goes in depth about this one.

Good point on #1. Sexual intent is key but building rapport is also.

Realizing that the core of pick-up is "Being not doing."

Most resources focus on teaching you a bunch of techniques and tricks. While these can be useful, they don't address the core issues.

Books which teach the correct internal mindset to have from the start are:

• Models by Mark Manson

• Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

• No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover

Look at pick-up as an all encompassing self-development process for becoming a better man, instead of doing specific actions for the purpose of trying to get a certain reaction.

I only choose sources that are from well adjusted, emotionally healthy people who actually love women. Any bitterness or needy behavior (like complaining about feminism and focusing only on lay counts) I stay far away.

Girlschase.Com Blackdragonblog.com

**Models by Mark Manson** (highly recommend)

There are two guys with Facebook groups (David T and Heartist?) Who are good and healthy.

Stuff by thenaturallifestyles.com is okay too

Be careful out there. PUA stuff can warp a man's mind. Women are simple, this journey isn't about figuring them out, but figuring yourself out. Growing, healing, and aligning yourself with your authentic genuine self.

So much stuff that could be done, but for an inner game "kit", I would recommend:

Models by Mark Manson - The modern day version of pick up.

The Natural by Richard La Ruina - Give you some perspective on how to refine your natural game.

Dance Floor Seduction by Skills - Seduction focused primarily on dancing. Helps get people get out of their comfort zone physically.

Influence by Robert B. Cialdini - Helps understand psychology behind some interactions and how you can use them

The Art of Happiness by Dalai Llama and Howard Cutler - Helps people realize what truly makes them happy (I.e. When we say life sucks, then compare ourselves to kids in Africa who eat cakes made of mud) [Yes, if you felt bad reading that I did that on purpose to give you an example]

Kinowear Bible - Helps guys get a better sense of style

Stronglifts 5X5 - The best workout program that helps get gains fast and inner confidence faster; in my opinion, I proclaim this workout method the "Models" of working out.

"You are going to die. If you're reading this, it's not too late"

Book smarts account for 10% of your game. The rest of it is based on experience.

There's a life outside of seduction.

JUST DO IT

"The purpose of our lives is to be happy"

Comfort zones, where dreams go to die.

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway

"We miss 100% of the shots we don't take" - Wayne Gretzky

On neediness - "This is the part where I say I don't want ya. I'm stronger than I've been before" - Ariana Grande

This is the best thing I have read since Models by Mark Manson.

I am at a point of my life where I try to destroy my ego and try to become 100% honest with others and with myself. It is hard for me, because I was (a bit still is) ashamed of my past. This post really resonates with me. Thanks for sharing!

(Not sure why so underrated)

You should not be hurt by such rejections simply because you (hopefully) wouldn't put up with a woman of such views, and therefore, she shouldn't be attractive to you regardless of physical appearance or other factors.

Imagine if she still was more or less a racist, but she fell in love with you because you had a Lamborghini and a high status job. If she'd express her views about your race in the same way, you'd reject/dump her in a millisecond.

Next time you're in a similar situation, try telling yourself "Oh, shit! I wouldn't be with a girl like that anyways. Good thing I found out quickly so I can move on to another girl".

I can recommend the book Models by Mark Manson - the only "dating" book worth a read. He discusses amongst others this subject.

Best of luck in your pursuit of love and/or pussy.

The vast majority of men have at least one physical quality that hurts them in the looks department. What you need to remember is that this doesn't define you, doesn't mean you're unattractive overall, and absolutely doesn't mean that you can't have beautiful women. Accept that it's reality and that you can't change it, and focus on things that you can change.

One benefit that shorter guys have is they generally look better with muscles. If you aren't already working out, do it. I am almost 34 and have a six-pack for the first time in my life. Took 8 months to go from borderline obese to borderline ripped. Don't ever think you're too old to earn a great physique.

Secondly, you should make sure you're dressing really well. Doesn't mean wearing high-end designer clothes, it means wearing things that fit really well and work with your body. Due to your height, you should pay extra attention to this. If you've got the money, hire a professional to take you shopping and help you pick out some great clothes. Wearing the right boots could cheat you an extra inch or so in height.

Lastly, go pick up the book Models by Mark Manson and read it. Twice. This will help immensely, more than anything anyone here will be able to tell you.

You're going to be rejected because of your height, probably a lot. You're also going to be rejected for any other number or reasons completely unrelated to your height. What's important is that you know that this is a fact of life. It's going to happen to you, and it's going to happen to a 6-foot tall underwear model with perfect genetics also. Models will help you figure a lot of things out and put you on a path towards some really good things in life. Best of luck man!

you can still be nice and friendly but you should be focusing on escalating and making your intentions known rather than just hoping she will catch on or hoping she'll make the first move. read Models by Mark Manson, if you haven't already. as for being awkward, it'll only be awkward if you make it. and for being boring, just go do things that interest you! find a couple of hobbies, travel a bit, learn an instrument, learn a new language, etc. just a few quick tips.

1. You can't attract everyone. No matter how smooth, confident, good looking or outrageous you are, not everyone will find you attractive and a lot of the women who do won't be in a situation where they can do something about it (they go back to their home country soon, you remind them too much of their ex, they have a boyf etc). The sooner you can accept this the sooner you can move on

2. The more you care about the outcome of the interaction, the less likely it'll go the way you want it to. This may sound confusing but what it means is that if you put a lot of pressure on yourself to successfully pick the girl up, you'll find it much much harder to do so. Women are far more sub-communicative than men and will be able to "smell your desperation"

3. If you care more about the woman's (and pretty much anyone else's) opinion of you than your own opinion of yourself, you'll find it incredibly difficult to be successful. The reason for this (as explained in Models by Mark Manson which I highly recommend) is that being more invested in their opinion of you will make you appear needy and low status. By caring only of what YOU think of yourself, you will come across as confident and attractive. Be the person that YOU would find attractive. If you like coding, OWN IT, if you secretly love Pitch Perfect, OWN IT, if you prefer horse-riding to cars, OWN IT (you get the picture). If you be the person you think they'll want you to be, or you decide that their opinions are more important than yours, most women worth having will sense this and recognise you as lower status than them, which (almost) all women find unattractive.

While The Game provides many great examples in regards to starting interactions with girls (box game, palm reading), it is outdated. Things like negs won't work much on girls who are self-assured/confident and will most of the time work only on girls who are insecure/seeking validation.

I would recommend you read Models by Mark Manson. It is probably, in my opinion, as well as many others in this sub, the best book on attracting women at the moment. It focusses on improving yourself to the point where you are the best you you can be. Because you are the best you can be, your innergame/confidence will sky rocket. The Game focuses a lot on outergame but girls are able to tell when you are telling her she is beautiful because you wanna get in her pants or because you genuinely believe so. Guys with weak inner game will come off as weak and needy. You can have great outer game but if your inner game is lacking you will be lacking.

In regards to not being able to attract the girls that you think are cute, it might be something about your appearance(hair, dress style, fitness). Perhaps your wittyness is not enough to carry everything else. They say first impressions are a big deal and what is the first thing everyone sees about others? Their exterior appearance, usually not their wit.

I would finish up reading The Game as it is a great book for reading sake but if you are looking for seduction advice, hittup the sidebar and read Models. I've met very few people who read the book and said it didn't help them out.

I honestly think you need to stop pursuing girls - for now - and work on yourself. Girls will find you attractive temporarily but they will lose interest in the long run when they find out you don't believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself then no one will.

Any girl worth pursuing will not be interested in you. You will only attract shitty women who have self esteem or other emotional issues themselves. You probably don't want someone with daddy issues, you want someone who has their shit togegher.

So I highly recommend two books

• Models by Mark Manson
• No More Mr. Nice Guy! by ~~Steven Covey~~ Robert Glover

Both books help you find yourself and improve your life. I'm not sponsoring anything because you can easily download both books for free by doing a Google search.

Dude look at your own language here. You're a nice guy. So why are you so quick to call your friend "pathetic" for trying to find a way to better himself? You're a nice guy. So why are you so ready to call the guys that get girls "stupid" when you haven't met them?

You're not that nice a guy. You're just afraid of confrontation. You stew in your own anger and it seeps out in the way you talk about people, the way you think about people, and I'm sure even the way you act towards women. They can sense it and it's not remotely attractive to them. Do you think they're going to hang out and be intimate with someone who shames them for what they find attractive?

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy, and then Models by Mark Manson. Do the exercises. That'll help as a first step.

Good luck man

Models by Mark Manson. This is THE book you need to read.

And we all appreciate you doing the work to progress instead of self loathing and looking for someone to tell you any problem with women you've had in the past is not your fault. Thank you.

The thing is that video games are physically addicting. Not just "addicting" like people throw around a lot when describing television shows or their favorite foods. Leveling in WoW stimulates a huge dump of neurotransmitters. Basically you feel awesome. An intense and challenging fight in a FPS rocks your nerves with waves of adrenaline. Hell yeah it's addicting. Once you break the cycle, it's not as rewarding to play. It has to get it's hooks back in you. And I wonder, how many people blizzard has who have studied substance abuse and psychology because that's pretty much the goal of MMORPGs; to get their hooks into you.

Worse, I'd assume, like all things, a tolerance develops. I've done stints of non-stop, 14 hour days of gaming for weeks. By the end, I'm barely enjoying myself, I actually am playing worse than when I first started, and I walk around in a daze all the time. Maybe I just have addicting personality though.

Yeah. Video games are a huge part of my life, but honestly I have newer, better hobbies now. Oh yeah, and girls :D

As a very old guy that has been in PUA for 10+ years I would like to add my 2 cents.

This article is complete garbage. I am very confident that the author did not even read single book or scientific study about self esteem.

If you need to work on your self esteem, I strongly suggest you to read "6 Pillars Of Self Esteem" by Natheniel Brandan : https://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem-Definitive-Leading/dp/0553374397

A few tips.

1. Be honest and open about yourself in conversation. Its a date. You're getting to actually know the person, getting laid is just a result of successfully attracting each other.

2. Don't be too flirtatious. Kino is good. But don't be too direct with your sexual intentions because that shows you are only looking for something in return for calling her "sexy".

3. Always, always always go for the kiss at the end of the first date. That says "I am interested in you, and I would like to do this again." Not going for the kiss or going for a hug or handshake just puts yourself in the "Friendzone".

4. Read Models by Mark Manson. It will give you the full in depth guide to a successful date.

After reading Models by Mark Manson and watching a few of these videos I've finally started gaining confidence to go ahead and approach women. It really started this week, this girl I've met was beautiful, and has a great shape. I didn't get her number, but the fact that I actually approached and had an engaging conversation with her makes me feel great. And I've been keeping up the streak daily I'll keep on progressing, so far I've gotten a few numbers, but only from girls who I actually felt a spark talking to. Not really taking girls that it turns out I don't care about just to stroke my own ego.

I never had a gf, so I'm not the one who you should listen to, but this is my view on game theory: They are not step-by-step instructions, they are just a general guide.
It's not

1. Use opener #3577
   
2. Talk about gardening and do light kino
   
3. etc.
   
4. F-close
   

It's more like:

• Be confident
  
• Don't take shit from her
  
• Have fun and they will follow you
  
• etc.

Okay. You ready for this shit?

Fucking Geocaching

Seriously, it is such an awesome daytime date idea. Here's why: 1) It is a mildly physical activity, always good for a date. 2) It involves a lot of walking, giving you both the benefit of conversation and the memory of having visited a lot of locations with you. 3) Searching for stuff and finding it is super exciting. Its like being a pirate. 4) Geocaches are often hidden in trees. Which means you get to lift her up to take a look. 5) Finally, when you find the cache, you get to sign your names in the little log inside. Which is a cool "us moment" opportunity.

I recommend talking to a few friends who already geocache so you can make sure your trip includes a few "sure finds." Basically caches you already know the exact location of so you can search around for a bit then point her in the right direction so she finds it.

It's not about how you look, it's about how you make them feel. Right now your ego reflects in your personality, and since you don't see yourself as a potential sexual partner, neither do they. There are PLENTY of things that you can do to better yourself and surgery isn't in the top 100 of them. Work on yourself and no is not an answer. Because what is the other option ? you said it, probably suicide. So start today, and never stop. Learn to cherish yourself and your life, and create life people would wanna be in. And learn to be sexual. Otherwise they will see you as a platonic friend despite anything else. There are plenty of books to read out there (start with Models by Mark Manson if you don't know where to start). You are your ultimate life work. Remember that.

Dude, try some daygame. I was scared at first but when I got into it it felt so great doing it. It helped shatter the fear of talking to random girls out of the blue. I'll admit that I've been out of practice lately since I'm home from Uni and didn't approach during finals week. Read Models by Mark Manson if you haven't already.

Oh, everywhere. Mostly night and street fun times. Hipster bars, dive bars mostly. But in Montreal, that's where the hottest arty girls went. I like em weird too.

Self promo... I wrote a novel about it. Kind of a big deal... ;o

>Lastly, go pick up the book Models by Mark Manson and read it. Twice. This will help immensely, more than anything anyone here will be able to tell you.

I second this, halfway through my second reading now, it's a great book.

I also recommend "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover

Your social prominence isn't as important as your perceived status. If you meet a girl at a bar, she has nothing to go off of besides what she can glean from your appearance and actions. It wouldn't matter if you had 0 friends or everyone hated you and you lived in a box, so long as you present yourself well and have the confidence/behaviors of someone with high social standing. I guess living in a box could mess up the logistics on an f-close, but you know what I mean.

If you dress and act like you're the shit during an approach, that's all the information the girl has to work with. That doesn't mean be an overcompensating asshole "alpha". But I does mean truly believing that you're high value and getting in shape/dressing well.

You should just read Models by Mark Manson. It would answer your question 100 times over

>I'm 17 btw

Shit, I'm 26 and still pop wood every now and then when a hottie sits on my lap. It's called "being a normal warm-blooded mammal."

You're 17 and still developing all your manly parts. It's gonna happen, a lot. Don't sweat it.

Try the belt-tuck. We called it "The High Noon-er" when we were 17

>Do you think the girls know?

lol Would you know if a hard dick was poking you in the ass? Hell, some chicks even like it.

It was a long process. I worked hard and was hard on myself. I'd say the biggest contributors was to push myself to do the things I was afraid and uncomfortable to do. Other than putting myself out there in new social settings and meeting girls: Lots of excersicing, setting goals and attaining them, I did nofap, I read a lot of books; Models by Mark Manson was good for self development and getting girls but I also read other biographies. I think I still have to improve a lot but I've come a long way.

Your problem is exactly what you said. You are desperate and needy and that's the biggest turnoff ever. Did you read Models by Mark Manson (yeah, I know, it gets quoted fucking everywhere)? It's about exactly this. How to stop being needy

The Game, while an entertaining read, is not necessarily what you want to emulate. Models by Mark Manson is the most popular outside recourse on this sub, and for good reason. That said, it sounds like your sticking point is not what you're saying. Aside from self-depreciating humor, and even then there are plenty of exceptions, it's more important HOW you say something than WHAT you say. Strong body language, tonality, and physical escalation are what you need to focus on. There are many resources on this sub you can check out and there are even more great books to help you. Best of luck to you, brother.

Amazon link

Free Epub link

Damn, you really butchered that title!

1. Models by Mark Manson (Nice overview of seduction/pua. It's not the Bible that many people consider it to be, but it helps in developing a balanced view about seduction/pua)

2. Way of the Superior Man by David Deida (Helps with reframing your relationship with yourself, the world, and women)

3. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover (Useful if you suffer, or used to suffer, from being Mr. Nice Guy)

4. She's Six Steps Away by Eric Disco (Beginner's book to helping you manage your approach anxiety)

5. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Useful book for developing social skills in general, not just for pickup)

6. Intimate Connections by David Burns (Nice self-help book if you feel dissatisfied about not having women. It teaches self-acceptance, self-love, and self-esteem. Also would recommend Feeling Good by the same author.)

If I can provide you with advise. 4 things you need to do. 1 A book. Models by Mark Manson. 2 start lifting weights and get jacked. 3 frequent this subreddit. 4. approach five girls a day minimum. Good luck

1. Read Sidebar
2. Realize you are a pussy
3. Read Models by Mark Manson
4. Realize things about pussy
5. Start small steps you can do today or tomorrow before you get lazy. Working out for example.
6. Find a PERSON (Male or female) walk up to them and Say "Hi, How are you" smile and maintain eye contact.
7. Realize people will not punch you in the nuts and run screaming to the police. Have a good conversation with said person.
8. ???
9. Start your fourth threesome in a month. Wash your dick in holy water cause that much filthy sex can only be cleaned by Jesus himself.
10. Repeat steps 8 through whatever I don't care.

In all seriousness Approach is the single most important thing you can learn to do. You will have many more friends, flings and fun the more people you get to know. Both male and female. It all starts by saying "Hi, How are you?". Overcoming that nerve to talk to a person you don't know is the single biggest challenge to overcome. Does not matter what you really say. Conversation just kind of happens after that.

It's called EDITING!

You want to minimize the plot details (how you got there, what you did beforehand) and expand the details that have emotional resonance (how you felt, the look on dave's face when he saw the tiger).

A good book for storytelling is "On Writing" by Sol Stein.

Hey man. I highly recommend reading Models by Mark Manson if you haven't already. What I have noticed from your comment is that you are somewhat deflecting the blame for your problems to other entities. Such as saying that you are "naturally introverted", receive no sexual opportunities, and your body type and parents. I've been there and am currently working on it as well, but you have to realize that while you can't control the situations sent to you, you can control how you react to them. You're already making the perfect first step by changing some of your patterns, but you have to make sure that you are doing it for the correct reasons - to improve yourself, not to get laid.

Here is a great link that explains what I am trying to say much better than I can.

It's probably just a funny quip man, don't sweat it. He probably wasn't serious. At least, every "insult" you get from now on should be framed that way. :) If you haven't read it, read Models by Mark Manson, he basically says that what you perceive your reality is to be, it's going to be true.

You're only 17. Don't worry. I found seddit when I was 20. Take comfort in the fact that you've started on the path of self-improvement at such an early age when most others are dicking around and/or too afraid.

I agree with im_fucking_zeez_brah. Keep talking to girls. It can be a little awkward in the beginning, and you will talk to some who won't even give you the time of day, but with practice you will develop thicker skin.

Don't think "how can I be more alpha". Be completely in the moment, listen to her, say what's on your mind, be genuine with your thoughts and emotions. I recommend you start meditating to practice being in the moment. Start with the /r/Meditation subreddit, and the "Mindfulness in Plain English" pdf: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

Besides, "alpha" is not something you can just "turn on" in a conversation. Being "alpha" is a way of life. Having awesome hobbies, traveling, meeting many types of people, being a confident and genuine person...

Keep practicing, keep reading seddit (read the sidebar if you haven't already). im_fucking_zeez_brah is right, keep practicing and everything you've learned on seddit will come out naturally. Like I said, it can be hard in the beginning, we've all been there, we've all been rejected a countless number of times. Success never comes without hard work and pushing your comfort zone. It's up to you if you want temporary discomfort and long-term success, or short-term comfort and long-term dissatisfaction. The way I see it: endure the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret.

Completely agree. They've gone stale and both guys and girls are slowly losing interest. Personally, I think it's for 2 reasons —

1. Too many people are on them for an ego boost and don't actually want to meet up. This leads to fewer people using them that actually want to meet up and the cycle continues.

2. Conflicting branding. Half the people on Tinder think its a hookup app and half think its a relationship app. Tinder will never come out and say its a hookup app, and the founders of both Tinder and Bumble have publicly said they don't want them to even be dating apps, but rather apps to meet new people in general. This confuses the users and you end with people looking for different things. When you compromise like this, no one gets what they want.

Gonna take this as an opportunity to plug an app me and my buddy launched this past Friday called YouUp? We don't take ourselves as seriously as these "we believe in creating relationships" apps and we created it due to frustration with the factors I talked about above. We believe the direct branding of the app combined with an opt-out instead of opt-in functionality will make it so only those that want to actually meet up and have a casual fling will use our app.

YouUp? on ProductHunt

YouUp? on the iOS App Store

Would love this community's feedback!

Fundamentals of Female Dynamics The pick-up bible for engineers

¿Maybe you are "faking" everything because you don´t like yourself and think "you" is not enough for girls? Just a thought, but in case it is like that, learn to like and love yourself. Maybe my example can illustrate this a bit better. After reading Models by Mark Manson I decided to try being 100% honest with both myself and the women I approach. I used to be kind of worried about this because quite frankly, I´m a huge nerd who´s into anime and geeky shit. However, I went ahead with being honest and accepting myself, showing my virtues to women and showing them that even though I was weird as hell, I could also be manly, confident, chivalrous and charismatic. See, you only need these traits and I can almost guarantee you that most women will not give a damn about the less "desirable characteristics" of yourself. And if you think you don´t have these traits, think again. You´re a man and you have them, you just have to look at yourself and get to know you better as you keep approaching women and people with this mindset.

Still, remember man. Do not do this for their validation or for their approval. Do this for yourself :) Keep grinding.

Hey man, i'm in a similar situation. From what I can gather the past few months, Models by Mark Manson is a good start. I've read it through and its definitely the most realistic take on 'game' i've seen so far.

I don't know if it's just me but I'd rather focus on the "process" than the "outcome", and habit over perfection.

So in this case, I'd just be honest (Read the book Models by Mark Manson "Seduction through honestly")

Just an example, "Excuse me, Sorry I know we just met and we both got to head to class but I think you're really cute and I'd like to take you out sometime, can I have your number?

And of course with the basic pua or seduction techniques or social, call it what you want.

Approach on the sides. Eye contact. Tonality. Posture. Body language. False time constraint.

:] Better be the person who smiles than who didn't.

Best of luck! And apologies for the essay

Bad mindset. Don't focus on this alpha/beta bullshit. Focus on doing things that will improve your quality of life and things that are important to you. Hygiene, fitness, fashion, reading your hobbies. You need to become a man that has his life more or less in order. You need to be in a position where "girl problems" aren't really girl problems. Where you don't feel like you need a girlfriend. You should get started by reading Models by Mark Manson. Read that book and then go out on campus and talk to girls. That's really all you need.

When first starting out, Magic Bullets gave me a lot of logistical and outer game stuff that I had just not known.

Models by Mark Manson, who just did an AMA here at seddit earlier this week, is amazing and a great guide.

I also really enjoyed reading the Sinn / BradP The Lay Reports (TLR).... there is a ton of awesome material / mindsets in there that you can pick out, and gives you good idea for what is possible.

Sorry to hijack but i need to mention a book on these very principles.

'How To Win Friends and Influence People' nails all of the fundamental principles discussed in this post. This should be required reading for anyone seeking to become a value giver.

> What can one do if they wish to not give a fuck?

Take up meditation. Learn to clear your mind and just observe what is happening right now and let your instincts react instead of letting your logical mind kick in and regulate your behaviour too much. Look up "Mindfulness in Plain English" - it's available as a free download, or you can order the print version from Amazon. Mindfulness meditation is "simple" compared to more hardcore practices like Zen.

Especially for analytical types (like me), not giving a fuck is to a very large extent about learning to cut out inner dialogue and defence mechanisms that continuously try to make you do "the sensible thing" based on very flawed ideas about what risks are bad, at least until you can unlearn a lot of these ideas.

Mindfulness meditation is good for that - it's a tool to teach you how to observe (which lets you question, which is a pre-requisite to changing) your thought processes as they happen.

There are many other ways - try the various advice, pay attention to what changes for you, and keep at it until you find what works best for you.

I had a copy of the files on disk and have rehosted them here. Unfortunately the old thread is locked so I can't post an update there.

The file is seddit.zip but will expand to "David Wygant - Man Transformation excerpts"

It is getting hard to find a decent file sharing site. If anyone has trouble with this download, let me know.

Models. I have studied seduction on here and watched alot of videos. But finally, last week I read Models by Mark Manson and its the best material so far. If you have studied seduction at all, he puts alot of those ideas into perspective and shines a light on the important aspects and what to dismiss.

For starters, if you haven't, read Models by Mark Manson. It's all worth the read.

I used to be quite cynical, an in some way I still am, but I try to fight it every day. But I think two things are necessary : you need to be able to love your own life, and love the life of others. If you are unsatisfied with yourself, or your current situation, make it your priority #1 to change that. Build passions and interests of your own, so that you can honestly believe that your life is pretty damn cool. The second thing for me, which I believe I learnt through Walt Whitman, is that every human out there, in some way or the other, is an amazing person. Instead of looking at people from above, which I usually did, I try to find the thing in someone that makes them unique. Most murderers have fascinatingly sad childhoods. Most 'boring' people out there have something in their lives worth listening to and learning from. Find that. Find it by opening yourself up, and telling about your life. Not simply everyday things, but intimate and profound things. Childhood, feelings of shame or loneliness, disappointments or moments you felt you were the king of the world. Women thrive on these emotions, more than superficial things. Get personal, get close, get intimate, no matter how frightening it is. "Humans are attracted to each other's rough edges" Robert Glover said, and that is absolutely true. Talk about your rough edges, and get her to talk about hers. It's all about emotional connections. No one wants to talk about the weather.

I hope it can help you. But in the end, it's all about trying. Even someone who has nothing to offer, will succeed eventually simply by persisting. It's just easier if you are someone interesting and interested.

From Models by Mark Manson: Get good at cold reading. Instead of asking questions, state the answer to a question you would have asked. Whether you are right or wrong, the conversation will flow naturally from there

I second this. Read Models by Mark Manson. When it comes down to it, you're coming off as needy because you are needy. You feel you need success with women to complete yourself. You're the prize to be won. Escalation should be subtle. It starts with your eyes. Make crazy eye contact. Stare at her. Let the contact happen naturally from there. Little bumps. Hands grazing hands. Then play some games. Teach her a handshake. Play the games where you put your hands on top of one another's and slap each other's hands. Once you've made that hand contact, just hold them. Caress them. Look at every line and freckle. Comment on them. At this point, you can go in for a kiss. That's kino breh.

To become a better person, I really recommend The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It goes into the science behind building habits and gives really good insight into how to develop habits that change your life.

To become a more interesting man, read a lot about whatever interests you! Since you're probably interested in dating/ seduction, I recommend reading Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari (lots of girls have read this too, making it a good conversation starter) or Dataclysm, which has all kinds of cool facts such as "People who like the taste of beer are more likely to have sex on the first date."

Thanks for sharing; I have a terrible habit of over-dwelling on making mistakes and being embarrassed and this video really helps keep me from beating myself up.

Also a great "further reading" type informational video after reading about vulnerability & creepiness in Models by Mark Manson

Start small. Pick one habit and make sure you go through with it for at least a month. Then it becomes second nature and you will get confidence ("Hey, I actually can make changes"), and you can focus on something else. If you try to change every aspect of your life at once you may get too much pressure and burn out.

Personally I think that there are 4 habits that are super useful to begin with as they increase your motivation levels for everything else and instill in you different traits:

• Fitness: Because your body is you and you are your body and going to the gym/having proper nutrition affects your willpower levels. You will also feel good afterwards as you get proper dopamine/testosterone levels.
• Reading books: You challenge your brain to interpret new content. You can also start reading books on self-development that will help you (The Power of Habit, The Willpower Instinct, The Power of Now, inspirational books, etc.)
• Meditation: Literally training your pre-frontal cortex which is the part of your brain that determines your will-power.
• Cold approach pick-up: Simply because approaching girls you like is both challenging as fuck and rewarding and fun. If you have the discipline to stick at this for a while, everything else kind of seems like a joke in comparison to be honest.

So I would recommend picking one of these and setting a decent goal (30 minutes of reading every day, going to the gym 3 days a week, meditating 20 minutes every day or approaching every day) and make sure you stick with it. After you've done that, try to see if you can amp it up or include something else. If you can begin with more than one thing, then suit yourself out but don't pressure yourself to the point it all falls apart. Quitting is useful for noone.

Also, what does having non-continous sex mean? lol

Not OP, but check out /r/meditation . There's also an /r/buddhism, but I'm not following that. /r/mediation has a link to book recommendations in he side bar. One I personally recommend, is Mindfulness in Plain English which is a very secular description of one of the main Buddhist schools of thought on meditation (mindfulness or insight meditation) that I find had a very profound impact on my thinking.

I started using affirmations after reading "Think and Grow Rich," but then I read some Tony Robbins and he advocates asking yourself questions instead, and boosting your confidence with the answers that come to you.

Myself for example: "Why would a woman like me?" I'm smart as shit. I'm 6'1" with a great body. I can talk about anything and everything. I get after my goals in life and get shit done. Etc...

Those are just personal examples that came to me. Try it for yourself and be amazed at all the awesome things your mind will say about you. :)

No, you're absolutely right. Can't remember where I read it (Predictably Irrational? Influence?) but people will believe you if you big up someone else, even though you're obviously biased. I can try to look this up if you want me to.

Law firms would make thr secretary say, "OK, I'm going to transfer you to Mr. So-and-So, who has won this award and has been mentioned as the #1 lawyer in 2011 by Time Weekly." They did a study and they found out... it works.

>Should I turn her down if she comes onto me? Should I roll with it? I understand this might fuck up our friendship but hey she's hot I already like the chick what do I have to do to not not make this awkward and not get anyone hurt? I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now and I'm smart enough to know that this chick still wants her old boyfriend back.

I don't get what you're trying to accomplish. A hookup? An excuse to try see how a relationship would go with this girl?

>On the other hand what if this ends up being the person I might actually want? I mean Neil Strauss ended his game after he found love right?

There's no such thing as "the person". There's such a thing as a type of person you mesh well with. And that type most certainly exists in the plural. As for The Game, it's just the bible. It's not meant to taken literally. Every Don Giovanni story in literature ends with the rake renouncing his former ways. That's how the story has to end. That's why Strauss ended it where he did. Strauss broke up with Lisa besides.

I'd say stop projecting so many expectations into this: she's the one, it'll ruin the friendship, etc... If you want to run with it, run with it, and see where it goes. Just don't burden the damn thing with expectations. And don't make choices out of desperation.

"I have a theory why women like racing drivers... It's not because they respect what we do, driving round and round in circles. Mostly they think that's pathetic and they're probably right. It's our closeness to death. You see the closer you are to death the more alive you feel, the more alive you are. They can see that in you they feel that in you. My name is James Hunt. My father is a stock broker, my sister is a barrister, and my brother is an accountant, and I... well I do this. It's a wonderful way to live, it's the only way to drive, as if each day is your last." -Rush (2013) https://youtu.be/tFLJLHdi8kc

That's where you shoot yourself in the foot. No offense to you, or him, but FUCK WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE. FUCK WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. That's harsh right? Im not 100% banging girls every day, but I moved past the entire "looks" debate.

Read Models by Mark Manson if you can. He makes an analogy that is something like "you could be the juiciest, most ripe peach in the store and she could like pears more." If the girl doesn't like you because of the way you look, fuck her (literally if you manage that).

I'm 20, and nowhere near a god with women but I realized one thing: if she's not into you, she's helping YOU save time. Put in a bit of effort at first and go from there. If she reciprocates, good. If not, you save so much time.

I'm no expert and am sort of in the same boat (28, Asian, great career, living in Chicago), but here's a few ideas to think about:

• Being a doctor might not help as much as you think. Women support themselves and have their own career these days, so they're not as impressed by your career until they're ready to settle down.
• As much as everyone in this subreddit gives you shit about playing the race card, it does matter, especially if you're limiting yourself to white girls. Give girls of any race a chance just like you'd want them to do, not all Asian girls are going to be like the ones you mentioned. There are hot hispanic girls, black girls, Indian girls, etc too.
• Have you read Models by Mark Manson? If girls consistently tell you they don't feel a connection, there's a great section in the book that talks about vulnerability and authenticity which helped me a lot in terms of connecting with others.

If you find something that works, I'd love to hear about it. Good luck man.

In no particular order:

• Models by Mark Manson.

• No more Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover.

• The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris.

• The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters.

• You Can Have What You Want by Michael Neill.

• Feeling Good: The new mood therapy by David D. Burns.

Only the first one is directly related to interaction with women per se, but since I had confidence issues up the wazoo and I have struggled with severe social anxiety for most of my life, the other books helped change my way of thinking and thus changed how I interact with women.

With that said, reading alone will get you nowhere. These books are just tools, and you can't learn how to use them properly without experience. So get your ass out there and practice, practice, practice.

1. Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

2. Models by Mark Manson

Read those two first, so that you start with a healthy mindset. Then you can read the other "classic" game related books, and take them with a grain of salt.

Bonus books that contain a lot of applicable and related knowledge:

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

The Red Queen by Matt Ridley

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Right, the book can serve as an inspiration that drive home the point that 'Game' is a learnable social skill. However, for actually learning game read:

Models by Mark Manson

Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

After reading those books, which in addition to educating you, establish a healthy inner foundation about the process, branch out into other sources but be critical of them. Such as RSD youtube videos, David Deida, Rollo Tomassi, etc.

Models by Mark Manson is a good book to start. I also recommend watching some of the free videos on youtube by Tyler, Julien, Max (RSD guys). They have great content and their videos often have lots of eye-opening moments. Also their stuff is not strictly about seduction, but also about self-development, which is, in my opinion, even more important, everyone can benefit from it. A lot of it is also practice, so don't get too deep into the theory.

>Can anyone explain this to me? I'm very confused. Models by Mark Manson and Art of Seduction by Robert Greene both mention that women are turned on by being desired

Since we know that any particular guy is not capable of getting literally any girl, this is more appropriately phrased that we can't know which girls will be into is unless we put ourselves out there.

And yeah, if there's any spark there, then knowing she's desired by a guy she's interested in, will fan that into a flame.

But, for example, if someone unattractive you simply shows desire for you, that doesn't magically make you like them.

People have their own preferences and desires and simply showing yours doesn't change theirs. But it will excite them if they also have desire. So you have no reason not to put it out there.

> Why is it that your typical Nice Guy isn't able to get laid by a woman that he desires so much?

It's because he's coming at it sideways. He comes at her as if he only wants friendship. He sets the terms of engagement as merely platonic.

He never takes the chance to show his interest/desire.

Women shouldn't be the #1 thing going on in your life, or even the #1 priority at a party or bar. You should always be your number one priority. More specifically, your number one goal should be to create your own fun and entertainment.

When women realize that you're more invested in yourself than you are in them, they will become attracted. There's many ways to do this. Your friend ignoring the girls is simply a game that works short term, but doesn't work well after the girl has her validation. I've attracted girls the same way as your friend when I was younger. Now, I talk much more and engage everyone around me ...and I get better results than when I was trying to ignore them. It all comes down to being more invested in yourself.

Read Models by Mark Manson ..it'll answer all of your questions.

Abundance isn't really any of those things. The idea of the abundance mentality was, I believe, first stated in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the opposite of the scarcity mentality. An abundant mindset rejects the notion that we are playing a zero sum game - i.e., the idea that all people can't be successful. Scarcity mentality = if someone else wins, I lose. Abundance mentality = If someone else wins, there is still plenty out there for me.

As it applies to pickup, abundance mentality is really just the idea that any one particular girl or interaction isn't going to make or break you. There are so many girls out there that you don't need to be fixated on just one. When you fixate, you become needy, and neediness is unattractive. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The old saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is an abundant mentality. It's not a complicated philosophical idea but it takes work to really have it.

Yes it works. However get into the habit of NOT thinking about it as a numbers game i.e. don't worry about success rates. If you find the girl if your dreams after 100 straight rejections who cares?

To start, read Models by Mark Manson and just start approaching. Welcome and have fun!

It's a very effective way to screen/polarize. So you quickly figure out if she's naturally attracted (she'll laugh, or otherwise continue the conversation), indifferent (then it depends on how well you delivered it/how good your body language is/your fashion etc.), or unattracted/unavailable (she'll blow you out like you said, or just politely try to end the interaction/ignore).

Regardless of what happens, you figured out very quickly which camp she was in - literally, within 30 seconds you know whether it's on or not. And if she does blow you out, well then, she clearly has a shitty sense of humor and you wouldn't want to be with her anyway, right?

If the above made sense to you and you'd like to explore it more, check out Models by Mark Manson.

Your English is fine, man. Good job on putting all of this together.

Personally, I think your baseline problem is neediness. You sound like you value having a girl and having sex more than your other interests and lifestyle; this is a really bad state to be in and chicks can sense it.

Like another poster said - focus on building yourself for awhile. Go to the gym regularly. Get friends. Do hobbies you like. Join clubs to meet people with similar interests. Have passion, dreams, and goals that you're working toward every day.

If you haven't already read it, I would recommend the book Models by Mark Manson. From personal experience and what I've heard on here, it seems to work really well with males that have insecurity/ neediness issues that stem from their upbringing. Given that you were bullied a lot in school, I think it would be really helpful for you. Therapy might be good as well.

Best of luck.

If I had to recommend just one book, it would be Models by Mark Manson.

I also suggest you read The Game, by Neil Strauss so that you can see how the entire PUA community got its start. It's truly a fascinating read, but be aware that a lot of the advice and routines mentioned in that book are considered obsolete nowadays.

That is straight out of the book How To Win Friends and Influence People. He talks about strategies in conversations. If you express genuine interest in a person, and listen actively, the person will tell you everything that is important to them, what they care about, etc. You will barely even need to ask questions, it will just pour out of them.

This isn't from the book, but there are other similar PUA strategies. There is a principle that if you listen carefully to a woman, she will tell you how to seduce her. That's more advanced level stuff though.

the book "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" that he recommended seems to be highly praised on amazon. going to give it a read, and if its worth it, i'll come back to post here. thanks for the post

solid post but to shorten OPs into: TL;DR: If you don't go out, practice and learn from it you'll never grow or improve.

Great video on vulnerability and being open to getting hurt like the OP is talking about. It made a huge impact on my life and in turn my game.

Your spot on all over the place. few thoughts:

• 1. Girls want good sex MORE than guys do
• 2. This point is almost two points. One is about carrying yourself with a masculine confidence. The other is pointing out that in life and particularly with women, you have to cross the lines in your head.
• 3. The ability to have feelings and emotions, while being reasonable and logical about it, is an underrated thing. You need to open up and show emotion for her to do the same. There's a lot of talk of oneitis on this subreddit, and a lot of guys suggest what would be effectively dumbing down your feelings. No. Don't suppress the feelings a girl gives you. The real solution is to reframe your thoughts and be more realistic about what the feelings mean. You can realize there are million of fish in the sea, you can realize that all your at is casual dating or sex and to not get ahead of yourself. But even when you make those logical realizations about a girl you like... don't stop the great feelings a great girl brings you.
• 4. A great thing to do is to take a train or bus to the nearest city (other than your own if your in a major one), book a hotel. Spend all day exploring the city and running day game, and a lot of the night partying. Have fun, learn about yourself more, get out of your comfort zone like OP says.
• 5. OP is right

A New Earth I consider mandatory reading. Bonus points for the power of now. It's basically self-awareness for dummies. It's a lot of what we forgot about when we transitioned from deities to capitalism and scientific method. If you don't understand how your ego functions, then you are blind to the workings of your own mind. The ultimate ignorance. This is why no matter how much we read and hit on women, we're still in The Matrix, and always were.

Other heroes are too many to count. All great fighters from Tsun Tzu to Anderson Silva, or GSP. Writers from 60 Years of Challenge, Tolstoy. Too many to count but check my Goodreads for my book reviews.

I also admire many women

Thank you for supporting my lazy artist ass. Keep it up.

That was a really great article and I'm really glad you posted it! I hope I can actually apply all this stuff in practice. I'll definitely keep an eye on your site!

One advice/request about the site: you should implement browser push notifications when a new post come out. This way it will be much easier to not miss any new content. If you are using WordPress, then there are a lot of ready-made free plugins for that, e.g.:

https://onesignal.com/

https://pushed.co/

And many others. The site is very pleasant visually, I like the art style you are using.

How do you get over any fear my man? Face it! You’ve identified it, now start reading and self improving. Models by Mark Manson is a good start. Start hitting the gym. You might even want to hire a dating coach (I am not one).

But overall stop thinking of being scared of approaching women and start thinking that you want to explore them. Like any explorer the journey is the part that’s fun.

It depends on each particular issue. The short answer is that I watched countless videos from RSD (a bit too abstract and convoluted and overwhelming, but still helpful), Simple Pickup (a bit basic, but still helpful), read The Game (not helpful for practical advice, but the main takeaway is "improvement is possible when it comes to sexual and romantic relations with women, you don't have to accept whatever life shits on you" and reading the compelling story Neil Strauss provides is what provokes many into immersing themselves into the community), read Models by Mark Manson (most overrated book of all time, but still helpful), did countless approaches (over 2000 by my estimate), read https://www.succeedsocially.com/ (excellent website for basic social skills, but not so good for being masculine and assertive; following it too much will lead you to becoming a guy who is mildly liked by everyone but not polarizing enough for success with cold approach pickup) became friendly and social with everyone in college, suffered through harsh situations which would make the vast majority of people break down but only made me much more emotionally resilient because of my attitude towards them, constant reflection on my social interactions (thinking about what I could have done at so-and-so point, thinking what I did right, thinking about how I could correct certain mistakes like talking too fast or being too overbearing when it comes to texting).

> I don't ever have to stand for myself and argue because I don't get into any arguments

This is basically it. The type of behavior you described shows that you care more about how others perceive you than you do about standing up for yourself and what you believe. You're playing it safe because you're scared of rejection and afraid that you can't handle difficult situations. You probably do a lot of agreeing with other people about what they like / dislike (even if you don't actually agree). Same with the joking / funny / nice guy stuff. You whole personality revolves around trying to be neutral to everyone because you can't handle conflict. Suffice it to say, this type of behavior is not attractive to women.

I grew up the same way myself, so I know exactly what you're talking about. For me, it got to the point that I would chronically lie about EVERYTHING just to avoid the slightest possibility of conflict. These habits permeated into my life so deeply that they affected and eventually ruined all of my relationships.

A lot of it is habit, but you really need to work on honesty. Are you in a group of people who agree on a certain thing, and you disagree? Speak up. Tell them why you disagree, and stick to your guns if that's what you believe.

Is someone (who doesn't look like they are carrying a gun or have prison tattoos) acting like a complete asshat? Fucking call them out on it. Maybe you'll get yelled at, maybe you'll get flustered and won't know what to say, maybe they'll deck you. Who cares. Tell them how you feel.

If you haven't read it yet, read Models by Mark Manson. He actually talks a lot about supplicating behavior, and it was a huge eye-opener for me.

Doing what everyone else is doing will lower your intrigue. Differing yourself from the crowd is game 101.

But what they don't tell you in "game school" is differing yourself is a product of being authentic and genuine, and not supposed to be a tactic.

In other words, do you man. Doing something just to improve your odds vs being confident enough to be yourself and be vunerable . Which is more attractive?

I've been reading Models by Mark Manson and this comment is heavily influenced by his ideas. Which I think are some of the healthiest and most productive ways to improve with the ladies.

It's "be yourself" advice that improves your self, rather than the typical be-yourself advice that we all know is useless due to lack of self improvement and growth inducing struggle. Highly recommend it.

I agree that having the correct internal beliefs and mindsets are crucial for longterm success, no matter what the endeavour is.

However, one will always need to take action externally if they want to see growth. And getting external reference experiences is what allows you to truely internalize knowledge.

Good books on inner game include:

1. Models by Mark Manson

2. Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

3. No More Mr. Nice Guy By Robert Glover

4. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

Models by Mark Manson. Read it ASAP. Check out the further reading section "No more Mr nice guy!" Is a good book and the body language book by Alan and Barbara Peace.

These 3 are the best I've ever read.

Great post!

I would also like to mention something that I have never seen mentioned here, but it has changed my outlook on life: positive psychology.

Practicing gratitude in particular has a way of altering our perception of reality. There is so much activity going on around us, but our brains are only capable of processing a minuscule amount of it. When we learn to focus on the positives in our life, no matter how small they are, we retrain our brains to be more optimistic, which will raise our confidence substantially.

Some great books on the subject are:

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work by Shawn Achor

and

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin Seligmen

Obligatory "Models by Mark Manson" response.

Considering that seduction is the process of improving yourself and shaping yourself into someone you love, books towards that end are the best. Two of my favorites are "Love Yourself" and "Live Your Truth" by Kamal Ravikant. They're both on Amazon, both are about $5, and both can be finished in about an hour.

You don't. Your body will give away your insecurity to anyone that doesn't have Aspergers. Work on yourself and do what you can to make yourself better than you were yesterday each and every day. Read some of the books that are recommended on here (Models by Mark Manson, How to Win Friends and Influence People, etc), start working out if you don't already, find hobbies you're passionate about, work on your career or school, up your fashion game, etc

It took me years to get where I'm at, but I attract virtually every woman I interact with in person these days. I've done my reading and studying game, I work out extremely hard every single week to make my body as appealing as it can be and also just because I enjoy being incredibly fit, I've got hobbies I'm incredibly passionate about (guitar, reading, exercise again, and other things), I spent a lot of time working on how I dress and how I present myself to the world, I hold a full time job that I enjoy immensely and pays well enough that I can do what I want to, and just generally improving myself any way I can. All these things have come together to create a deep seeded confidence in myself such that nothing can shake it anymore. It doesn't matter if that one girl isn't into me, or I go on a date and it doesn't go anywhere...I'm a fucking badass and any woman should be so lucky as to have my attention for however long I'm willing to give it.

Tl;dr Read it all. There's no shortcuts here. Improve yourself and confidence will come naturally. So will women.

As a couple guys in this thread have said already, it seems as if it's not so much your appearance but rather your attitude and personality to an extent.

You seem to have a very entitled mindset on how people should react to you. In your case, girls that are with guys that aren't as "successful" as you are. You gotta drop that mindset, because it displays insecurity.

Have you read Models by Mark Manson? I'm sure I won't be the first to suggest this book to you on this sub nor will I be the last. I highly suggest you read the book as it may help to put things into a different perspective for you. However, make sure you read it with an open mind to what it suggests.

You're not bad looking so don't worry about having to improve your looks so much as your mindset/attitude.

More Therapy.

If you're like "Nah fuck therapists I'm done with that" I have books for you:

• Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
• The Self Illusion by Bruce Hood
• True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
• Models by Mark Manson (the classic).

Read that shit. They will teach you (in order) How to connect with people, what you are, what love is, and how to be attractive.

You are ok as you are mate. There is no simple answer to your question. You have a lot of shit to work out. But know that through all of this, you are ok just as you are right now. You can be loved just as you are right now. The books I listed will help you believe it.

Don't be afraid of going the psychological route and examining if you're unusually chronically depressed (even if it's about yourself) or have specific psychiatric elements that keep your mind where it is. I for one found quite a bit about myself after examining my mind in a meditative session and looking up specific symptoms and behavior patterns. Working with yourself from there can help you in the social (and seduction) aspect tremendously if you do have psychological limitations.

In any case, be patient with yourself. Oh and another vote for reading Models by Mark Manson.

Just don't make a big deal of it and always assume you're going to pay unless they're physically getting out their money. Don't expect anything in return by buying aka don't give to get. - Paraphrasing from Models by Mark Manson. You should read it.

Probably not what you wanna hear, but you don't need a 'guideline' in order to interact with girls. Think about it, talking/getting girls is all about being social and putting yourself out there and being honest about what you want. Social interactions aren't really something you can plan out. Get out of your head and into what's happening in the real world.

It'll be impossible to list every detail because things can go a million ways.

To answer your question tho:

1) Honestly approach her

2) Give her a genuine compliment if you want

3) Have a conversation, ask her about herself

4) Always be leading and escalate appropriately

5) get her number

That's mostly all there is to it, as long as you're confident you'll make it.

Here's some things to help you:

1) Read The Manual by W Anton

2) Read Models by Mark Manson

3) if you want a more detailed guide watch this video from RSD

4) that's all you need, get out there brah and good luck

Dude until you see yourself as attractive it won't matter whether you're meeting girls at bars or through a friend group. And by attractive I mean more than looks, it's about having a high level of self esteem, confidence, and self worth. The combination of getting in shape, eating right, and developing hobbies will do wonders. Highly recommend the book Models by Mark Manson.

According to "Learned Optimism" most cases of depression are due to learned helplessness instead of some chemical imbalance. Unlike in say, Bipolar, where the illness stems from actual brain fuckery.

The book goes into way more detail than I could, but yeah, he's not wrong, happiness is a choice.

You want to try to limit text to just setting up plans, not to have full conversations - you say one thing that could be misunderstood and game over. This transcript isn't too bad though. Save the flirting for in person where you can make the facial expressions and use the vocal tones that go with it. Definitely ease up on the 'lol', comes off as nervous/anxious, afraid to offend, unattractive let's just be friends ammo.

Don't over think things, but as someone else said, you don't want to straight up tell a girl that you like her. It is so much more powerful and efficient for them to wonder if you like them than to know that you like them. If you show a girl you like her before she has developed feelings for you, it's never going to happen. If it's neutral where she doesn't have feelings for you yet but you don't show her that you have any feelings for her, then there's a chance to polarize her. Having her like you before you show her signs that you like her is the optimal position for you.

Other than that, have fun and don't stress over one girl. Also read Models by Mark Manson. All the answers to your questions are in there.

I disagree. Models by Mark Manson is amazing and he came off to me as a very humble guy. Do you have any legitimate criticisms other than "the guy is a tool"?

And even if Mark Manson was the biggest douchebag in the world, how does that make any of his arguments less valid? Does the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. cheated on his wife make his "I have a dream" speech any less inspirational?

Your frame here is a little destructive - sounds like you're in a negative feedback loop.

Fact is, you need to switch your thinking. If things don't work out, then you've a) learned something, and b) weeded out another potentially useless person from your life. There could be numerous reasons for a first date to not work. They could either be in your control or out of your control. The best way to think about this is to consider yourself a "work in progress" in regards to the things you can control, and be mentally unaffected by the things you can't control. Keep plugging away, read Models by Mark Manson, write accurate and detailed FRs and get feedback, and stop thinking about dating as a process where you're trying to build a pyramid and it just falls apart. You're LEARNING - you need to be more excited about the process of learning than the outcome (sleeping with/dating a girl).

Outcome independence (not attaching emotions to how an interaction ends) and abundance mentality (realizing that there are millions of opportunities out there and you'll be just fine if you screw up one, two, a thousand) are key to progress. That, and self-improvement, social calibration, and escalation. GO FOR IT!

Sarcasm and arrogance are good, they just need to be controlled. Certain women will respond positively, some will be turned off. Cater to your crowd.

A personality can be cultivated just like anything else in life. Classic literature for this is "How to win friends and influence people," and "Think and Grow Rich." You can build a body to die for, a business that makes you rich, and you can also build a personality that everyone loves... you just have to put in the work to do so. I guarantee you that funny guy with one liners and new jokes all the time doesn't think them up themselves. They learn, they practice, they steal, and overall they continue to grow. Be that guy.

In reverse chronological order:

• Models by Mark Manson
• Day Bang by Roosh V
• Seddit top 15 or so FRs
• Magic Bullets
• Assorted Paul Janka
• Assorted Youtube in-field
• The Blueprint Decoded
• Assorted Seddit
• Assorted Richard La Ruina
• How to Become an Alpha Male
• The Game
• The Mystery Method

That's the thing though, I've hardly done any approaches. Clearly I had to reverse this trend :)

I'm not sure about any subreddits that go in depth about this topic, I'd consider reading How To Win Friends and Influence People for building rapport and The Start-Up of You for networking

edit: You could consider asking about this in /r/socialengineering