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I was suicidal once, and someone pointed something to me that clicked. Death is the only thing any of us are guaranteed in life, why rush it? No matter if you try or if you don't try it will happen.

With that being said, it sounds like times are tough right now and you're going through a lot. What I've found in hard times is a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for the little things when I get through them. Some of the most down to earth, amazing people I know come from nothing or disadvantaged family systems.

When you get through this, you will have a strength few people know, and if you've already been dealing with bullshit up to this point, you can't deny you're one strong mother fucker already to make it here.

The coolest gift I've received from getting through my stuff, is when I meet someone who's struggling, and people trying to help them isn't working, I can usually bond and connect with that person, not based on anything I said to convinced them, but by sharing my experiences and where I've arrived as a result from them.

You too can be that gift to someone, I can't promise you it'll be easy, and I don't know when the pain will stop. But I 100% absolutely guarantee you, you are strong enough to get through this and life will be even more amazing because you did.

A good book that showed me the depth of human strength is called "Man's Search for Meaning - Victoria Frankl"

If you have an e-mail or something I'll gladly purchase it and send it your way. I'm not sure how yet but I assume Amazon has some form of e-book system.

I've known some dark places in my life, and caused a lot of wreckage as a result from it. Strangely though, after gettin out of it I don't know if i would trade the experience for something else. You can get through it too, you never know when someone is going to need you to be there, so you can tell them about the strength you have, and save them.

Sounds like you have goals. That's good; most people don't know what they want. I know I don't.

The key is this: figure out what you want, figure out the steps you need to get there, and do them one by one.

It's that simple, but the task seems monumental because you're looking at everything all at once. Take it step by step, task by task, focus on the task in front of you and only that. Check out "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott (?). You don't write a whole book at once. You take it page by page, chapter by chapter.

The difference between you and people who have written books and comics is that they've done the work. They had a dream, made a plan, and did it. You're 1/3 of the way there. If you don't do the work, you'll forever look back and wish you had written that book or performed the song you wrote.

Get off Reddit, take a hour, pick one goal, and define a plan to reach it. Break it down into small, easily achievable chunks. And do them.

If you don't take action to achieve your goals, neither myself nor anyone else will have sympathy for you. This is your life, and time is running out. Go.

Look for a dialectical behavioral therapist or group, especially one who is qualified to help you learn distress tolerance techniques. There are also self help workbooks for this type of therapy on Amazon. This one is basically the same content my past DBT group worked on.

In my experience, having a 'knack' for something isn't a good way to decide whether or not to do it. Most things require a bit of work before you can get into the 'flow' state needed to enjoy them. Also, try finding new subreddits to give you ideas (e.g. r/lockpicking and r/homebrewing).

Your problem is because you're trying to impress others rather than expressing yourself. You shouldn't do what you don't want to do, if you find talking to girl painful, it's because you're not being yourself when you're talking to her, you're wearing a social conditioning mask.

• Fashion: r/malefashionadvice
• Women: r/seduction
• Become a man: www.artofmanliness.com
• Sign up for two social hobbies
• Stop playing video games
• Read the book Models by Mark Manson
• Watch RSD Blueprint Decoded

some clips from Blueprint Coded:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK7qZkUcZT0
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P66jV3FvY10

Reading Stephen Coveys The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he mentioned a quote that I since then, live by.

>Sow a thought and reap an act;
>Sow an act and reap a habit;
>Sow a habit and reap a character;
>Sow a character and reap a destiny.

I haven't used it recently, but I did like Pacifica.

It allows you to log your mood and plot goals. There may be new features too!

Force yourself to do things you like.

They say if you just smile even when you don't feel like it, you will become happy. Heard fake it, until you make it. Just start acting like you are happy and make yourself do things and you may actually become happy again.

You are in charge of your own happiness. Stop thinking negative thoughts so much. It's not good to dwell on negative thoughts. Think positive thoughts. Be kind to yourself, say nice things to yourself.

Also, something that really helped me when I was feeling really down, was the Sedona Method. It teaches you techniques to use to let go of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. It really helped me to come back to life again, a time or two. If you are interested in this, and I really think it could really help you, check out some of these articles. Maybe start with: Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems, Do You Find Yourself Struggling with Resistance?, or Happiness is Closer Than You Think.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I will try to answer them for you. The URL: http://hubpages.com/@tomsmithnow

Just watch this. In his book The Power Of Now he talks a lot about letting your mind/thoughts control your day to day life, and how majority of them are pointless and ultimately self destructive thus damaging your quality of life. This book may or may not help you but it certainly changed my life and many others for the better. Give it a shot

“Medication doesn’t address the problem at the root for many people. It also comes with side effects and long term risks.”

You’re view on medication within that statement seems rather “anti-medication”, and please, please, please, never make an “anti-medication” statement without knowing what you are talking about. Your statement would be more accurate had you said “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy alone, may not address the problem at the root for many people.”

Best practice indicates CBT is the “first line of treatment”, but for many, they may also need pharmacotherapy (SSRI’s). In fact, if you’d like to correctly generalize, a combination of CBT and medication often lead to the most successful outcomes for those with OCD. The reason being, is that the SSRI may allow relief of OCD symptoms, subsequently allowing the patient to be more cognizant of the CBT practices.

OP, please do not feel like you are doing something wrong if you decide to try another medication. It often can take multiple trials to find one that works for you (i.e. the medication that helps your symptomology the most, with the least amount of adverse side effects.).

I agree with your statement about meditation, but stating “The mind eventually starts to quiet down” to someone with a mental illness, is like saying “You’ll eventually feel relief” to a cancer patient.

OP, please talk with your medical professional about this to determine your best treatment options. And don’t ever feel like you’ve “failed” if your mind doesn’t quiet down on its own. There are many research driven options out there to help you successfully deal with OCD.

Reference..OCD Mayo Clinic Info

Also...I went to many years of school for this.

First, I highly recommend that you find some other activity to spend time that would otherwise be spent on 4chan. It's very, very easy to go back there when you're bored, feeling crappy, and don't know what to do with yourself. Ideally, you should pick up a new hobby that will keep you off the internet. At the very least, you should find another website or online community to participate in.

Next, get a plugin or program that blocks certain websites. There was a recent thread full of excellent suggestions in [/r/writing](/r/writing) about internet blocking programs. Thanks to that thread, I ended up switching to the Chrome plugin StayFocusd, which has helped me cut down on my Reddit time significantly. It lets you set a limit on how much time you want to spend on a website each day before blocking it entirely. In my case, it's a more realistic solution than quitting cold turkey.

Check out App Block I had this exact same problem and this really did help so much! Come to think of it, I forgot to install this on my new phone and I really ought to, I'm slipping back into old habits!

I suggest you read the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You." It debunks the notion that a person needs to have a passion for the work that they are doing. He calls it the passion hypothesis. He instead suggests that passion is only gained through a commitment to mastery.

You have the skill-set to be employed, but if you dodge a job hoping to find a 'passion' that may very well not exist at all... well you'll never get anywhere.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and use your highly marketable skills to find a new position. Then put everything you can into be the best at it, opportunities to develop passion will follow.

You only have one life. Don't jump into a decision until you know without a shadow of a doubt that that choice will positively impact your life, your family's lives and the lives of people you will meet.

You might go down a path you know is right that others will not like or agree with. That cannot matter. Your life can't be based on the happiness of others or it will be wasted.

They will not be the ones who pay your bills, raise your children, or be inside your head when you are old and dying and reflecting back on the things you wish you had done differently. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you to make the right decisions!

Get books into your head and hands that will give you the right direction. If you don't like to read, suck it up and do it anyway. Successful people read daily. Here are some books I have been told to read by people who were financially free by the age of 25:

Think and Grow Rich - The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People - The Slight Edge - The Magic of Thinking Big - What to Say When You Talk to Yourself - How to Win Friends and Influence People - The Go Getter - Go For No! - Rich Dad, Poor Dad -The Circle Maker - The Dream Giver - The Strangest Secret - The Servant - A Kick in the Attitude - Anything written by John Maxwell - Anything written by Napolean Hill

Each of these books also lists other books that are helpful, too. I don't have to know you to believe in you. You can find the right path. When you do, don't ever, ever walk away from it.

First of all, thank you for reaching out for help. We all go through periods of creative dry spells, so you're certainly not alone in this. I think a large part of the tension you're feeling comes from conflicting motivations about why you want to be an artist. Is it for the sake of the art itself or to impress others? My suspicion is that you are worried about what others will think of your work and you. As an artist, that's not a place you can create from and still be true to yourself and your art. If you can create the art that's bubbling up inside of you despite what others may think or say, that's where true creativity comes from. Another way to think of it is this: if you were the last person on earth, would you still get up every day and draw? There'd be no one around to draw for. If you honestly would, you know your motivation is right.

PM me and I'll send you a copy of Steven Pressfield's The War of Art. It's a short read, but it opened my eyes to the nature of art and the forces working for and against artists and why you may not be who you want to be. If you can grasp this at such a young age, you have no idea how much of an advantage you'll have. I want you to be able to create freely and to find out who you are and become it. Don't be scared =^)

It's called Resistance. Your mind is telling you not to do it. You should read The War of Art. It has helped me out tremendously.

I feel you, I generally feel better since I started being less introvert and appreciating more the present moment (mostly after reading The Power Of Now), but there are still days, or specific moments, in which I feel weird about myself and my social life. I generally feel that way when I'm alone because I have a tendency to overanalyze everything, but maybe you're in a different situation. Start thinking about what might be the triggers that put you in that mindset, it could be simpler that it looks. Again, in my case it's about the way I relate to myself, I think almost everyone's relationship with other people depend upon his/her relationship with his/herself.

It's very hard to do something when your passion and motivation are gone. One thing I'm in the process of learning is that I don't need either one of those things to accomplish my goals. Sure, being passionate and motivated makes it easier to do the hard stuff, but all it really takes is discipline. Doing it anyway, even though it's hard.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, OP, but if you've completed these courses and simply need to take the tests, I would guess that you probably already know all of the test material.

If these are oral tests (you mentioned needing help with pronunciation), you might check out Duolingo or Babbel.

Look for the good in the criticism. People will criticize you all say long especially when you put yourself out there. Look for a way to improve. Don't look at the negative . Don't take it as someone telling you that your not good enough. Don't try to be perfect. Don't let others praise boost your ego. Seek knowledge from others. Everyone has their own perspective. Dont be close minded to it or you will miss out on so much knowledge. It seems my friend like you need to channel your emotions better. Try meditation. I am coaching aswell for free and one of the things I specialize in is Emotional Self Regulation Training! Here is the link to book a call all I ask for is a testimonial once we are done coaching with how my coaching has helped you overcome this! https://calendly.com/levijfoss/ideal-self-visualization

Have you ever heard of the Sedona Method?

It teaches you techniques to use to help you release negative feelings, thoughts or emotions. It can be used with other programs to help with anxiety and many emotional problems.

You may want to look into this because it could possibly help you. You may want to start with the article titled, Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems or Do You Find Yourself Struggling with Resistance. URL address: http://hubpages.com/@tomsmithnow

Let me know if you have any questions, and I will try to answer them.

Have you ever heard of the Sedona Method? It has really helped me.

The method helps you let go of negative feelings, thoughts and emotions, and it can be very powerful, even giving you an instant moment of happiness if you need it.

If you are interested, you could read some articles, maybe you would want to start with the articles, Happiness is Closer Than You Think or Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems. URL: http://hubpages.com/@tomsmithnow

These techniques have really helped me when I felt like so many things were piling up on top of me with that "woe" feeling.

Hope you look into this to see if it could help you because I think it could. Let me know if you have any questions, and I will try to answer.

I use headspace, its free for the first ten sessions but then you have to pay for it though. Its worth the money, but there might be free ones out there that are just as good.

I always found comfort in knowing that it's supposed to feel awful. Even a well thought out and graceful end of a relationship will feel so bad. Someone very close to you basically has died, but they're still walking around out there somewhere and you COULD go talk to them but you shouldn't... it's weird and sucks and normal to feel so bad. You must remember this.

Now is the time to think about yourself. This is THE benefit to being single. You go do stuff you want and organize your life to fit just you for a while. Some people find this easier than others. If it's not real clear how to live for yourself for a while, then do some volunteering or random social events through meetup.com or facebook or something.

The best way to stop outwardly projecting your emotions on to others is by channeling it in a different way. For me, journaling helped me to stop expressing my negative emotions outwardly. Yes I still get mad and sad but I write about my feelings instead. Not only will this help you to stop outwardly projecting, it will help you understand your emotions better. This is an extremely useful skill in any area if life. There are many journals out there that exist that you could use. Even a blank one is useful for getting your thoughts down. I found a journal at a local store in New York which is now available on Amazon as of this week! I highly recommend it as it not only provides you a daily structure to unload your thoughts onto paper, it contains links to articles, tools, videos, and quizzes to help you better understand who you are and what your values are. Check it out: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0937GVR5L/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3JRQJWHHMZEQCN7RNMMS

Read this book, or better yet listen to it, it’ll change your life...for the better 🙂 Driven to Distraction (Revised): Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307743152/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_WR7PSZQ6ZJF99GJ30NVE

Maybe start by reading this and asking yourself a lot of honest questions. Good luck!!

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B004C438CW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Change from Within: A Journal of Exercises & Meditations to Transform Empower & Reconnect - not sure what part of the world you are in here's amazon US

A few weeks back someone else posted about handling anger & other negative emotions. This is the book I recommended to him (you can get the book anywhere in the world, I just attached the US Amazon link).

Here is an amazon US link but it's available everywhere. Good luck!

This is my new favourite (Amazon US link) because it's so practical. This is a self-help journal with a series of short, daily exercises that show you how to heal your insecurities & practice genuine self-love. Best of luck!

​

I like journaling as well but I know some people just aren't into it.

Here's an amazon link for the book

Enjoy!

There this

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.thefabulous.app

However, as you already know. You can set all these reminders all you like, but the other half of the process of just doing it is down to you.

I totally hear you! What I really like about this self-help book is that it's practical daily exercises. Enjoy.

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

(the theme is stoicism, not as a religion but as a personal philosophy, a way of viewing your world and dealing with things).

You have to find/build a system that fits you and your habits, that works off of your strengths and compensates for your weaknesses.

One thing I do is I have a sheet of paper with my current goal and intention written on it. I put it next to where I work. I also have it on a notepad on my phone and read it before I go to sleep, and and right when I wake up.

I tried out many, many different to-do systems. I finally settled on typing in a text file. It's my life control panel. I type out my daily checklist of to-dos (check email, check my bank account, check my voice recorder, upcoming bills, exercise, inspirational quotes, etc), as well as to-dos for whatever tasks/projects I have to get done. I have other systems that feed my to-do list (Evernote, google spreadsheets for big projects).

Every evening, I plan and contemplate the day, my goals, and decide on my to-do list for the next day before I go into relax and fun mode.

But the important thing I learned is that there is no perfect system, just something that works for YOU. How will you remind yourself everyday what's important you? What's the best way? Your phone? A wall calendar? Computer? Pen and notebook?

Just pretend that you are going to forget what you should be focused on and what you need to take care of everyday, then create a system that remembers for you and reminds you and keeps you taking care of things (when you finish you can indulge in whatever delicious distractions you desire knowing you are moving towards your goal).

I recommend the book "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg, and follow /r/getdisciplined and /r/productivity if you don't already. Check the all time tops in both

Computer Science is an amazing course, and will continue to be extremely relevant in the coming years. That being said, if you don't enjoy it or begin to dislike it, take a break. You can always transfer into something else. I'd advise giving it a good honest go, things can be frustrating when we first start, but as your skill increases you will start to enjoy the process.

Good luck, you'll be fine!

EDIT: Some book recommendations for 'finding your path' would be; Mastery, by Robert Greene and So Good They Can't Ignore You, by Cal Newport.

Thank you very much for your reply. I'm going to start with Art of Not Giving a F*** and How to Stop Worrying and may Learned Optimism.

I think my biggest problem is exactly what you talked about...how family and friends will perceive our family after this major setback that we had. Going from a big house to a tiny apartment, taking a lower paying job, no prospects for future etc. Need to get my head straight and dig us out of this hole. Just get so lost in my head sometimes.

From what I'm reading it sounds like you have a lot of false beliefs, especially in regards to yourself. I would try something like cognitive behavioral therapy. If you don't want to try a therapist a good book is "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Otherwise meditation is always helpful when you have issues overthinking things (/r/meditation and the book "Mindfulness in Plain English" are good starting points).

I wouldn't look for a book that you can just read to fix everything without effort, though. It probably doesn't exist. A new perspective on things isn't going to be enough to overrule a lifetime of bad habits.

Yep. Your personality isn't as fixed as you think it is. You can change your habits and thus change your life. I'm reading a book on this called The Power of Habits. Not sure of author - am on mobile but look it up.

you have a point. I had an interest initially on selfhelp books (from stuff like 'Think and Grow Rich', Napoloean Hill, Emersson, Dale Carnagie etc) and although I never paid have followed Tony Robbins a bit too.

Nowadays I kind of feeling all of that is just playing for a specific market (people with ambition and insecurities) and selling for the demand. Mostly about increasing material wealth, glorifying consumerism etc.

It takes some maturity to realize that the pressure and drive to be happy and optimistic all the time itself can lead into stress. I follow Ajhan Brahm talks, instead these days. How to be good to others and still your mind, investigations of own mind, meditation etc.. two different worlds!

Think you were correct in pointing the cause to American Dream. However, there are similar people (I don;t know much about Steve Pavlena himself to say more, has red few articles from him abt 5 years back, they were Tony Robbins style then) in other countries as well who acting the role of Guru with a unsuspecting following. India comes to mind.

Saw a debate on you tube recently between Richard Dawkins and Deepak Chopra. That also was revealing on some aspects of this sort of (almost) cult membership following.

Hey man. Sounds like you are really down and have been stuck in a rut for a while and you are going around in circles.

I know what can help you but you have to know that there is no quick fix. In fact, applying a quick fix is just going to make the situation worse. This is going to sound cheesey as fuck but it's a journey to get your life back on track.

I've just started reading 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen Covey and it's having a strong positive impact on my life. I'm not far through it at all. I think it can help you a lot as it has a lot of concepts that you can apply, and I can garantuee that it's going to change your immediate perspective on life right now which is what you need to start off with.

I want you to buy the book, read up to where I am at, we can then discuss what we think about it and how it applies to our lives (cheese cheese and fucking cheese, but it will help the both of us), then we can go through chapter by chapter and help each other out, because I need it as much as you.

I don't want to know who you are, where you live, nor do I want you to know that about me, but I want you to help me, and I want to help you.

That's kind of a vague and rather large question, so knowing specifics might be helpful. But Dr. David Burns' "The Feeling Good Handbook" (essentially designed for dealing with depression and anxiety) covers cognitive distortions, how to identify thinking patterns, and challenge thoughts/behaviors that contribute to problems.

Of course it's possible. Life is about choices and the choice to change careers is entirely your own. Will it be easy? Maybe, maybe not. But it is absolutely possible, you just have to decide to do it.

If I can be honest here, I believe the problem you have is that you don't really know what you want to do. Thus, there's no concrete decision for you to make yet. It's easy to dwindle away time looking at your heroes lives and wishing it were yours.

What you need to do is take a day or a weekend and get some time to yourself to really brainstorm what it is that you want to do. Write down all the things you enjoy. ALL of them, whether you think they can make you money or not. Just write them down. Then look at your list and let your mind wander outside the box. What niches could you fill? What service or product, that you would enjoy doing, could you provide a customer?

Consider the story of Justin's peanut butter. The guy hated those nasty squeeze gel packs that athletes use on long endurance competitions. So he made squeeze packs of peanut butter. Dude is raking in millions now.

There's nothing special about him. He made some tasty PB and put it in a squeeze pack. He found a niche.

Again, not saying all this is easy. Definitely not. But it IS doable if you really put your mind to it. No one is ever stuck in life unless they choose to remain so.

tl;dr - 1. Figure out what you like to do. 2. Go do it.

Good luck, OP. :)

PS - If you're not looking to be uber rich and just want a fulfilling career that pays the bills, check out The $100 Startup.

mindfulness isn't purely for becoming disciplined. it has a wide range of benefits that can help induce discipline, in my case i feel calm and at ease, and emotions don't take their physical toll on me as easily. which of course, helps when you feel like doing anything but what you set out to do.

resistance is going to always exist. eventually you become used to feeling resistance and overcoming it in one department, and resistance becomes a driving force for action. I believe resistance is a result of us prioritizing what we find most enjoyable now over what we know will result in the most enjoyment later, hence procrastination.

you may find the book 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield insightful. it's a real quick and easy read, but it's all about conquering resistance. its ideas are the core of discipline itself, not specific to working on any particular art form, though the book is targeted that way.

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine

Started in on this one to get the basic gist of the philosophy, then branched out to all the actual texts of the stoic philosophers (starting with Marcus Aurelius's Meditations)

A good deal of Stoicism is recognizing there are things you have full control over, things you have some control over, and things you have no control over. Put your mental energy to the things you can control, and don't worry about the rest, since it's out of your hands anyway.

also: /r/Stoicism

Particularly this post aimed at newcomers to the philosophy: Stoicism and the life well spent

• Soul Without Shame - Excellent if you are critical of yourself and/or others
• How To Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci - Awesome exercises that really stretch your mind.
• Rich Dad, Poor Dad - I haven't worked a job in 7 years and I do what I love for a living because of this book.
• Think and Grow Rich - A classic

Start with exercise. Get your heart rate up for at least 15 minutes a day. It will increase blood flow and help clear up that mental fog.

Second, go outside. Grab a book or something and just sit outdoors. Feeling the sun and the wind might help you to reconnect with the present moment. Once you feel more comfortable with that try sitting outside at a coffee shop or something similar where people will be around. It's going to feel uncomfortable at first but just take small steps towards getting comfortable being around others again.

Lastly look up mindful meditation. It will help that feeling of detachment by allowing you to stay grounded with the world around you. I recommend reading "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana.

I've went through a period of deep depression where I spent months inside. Some days I would stay in bed eating a box of crackers and mindlessly browsing reddit. The things I listed helped to get me feeling connected with the world again. The exercise and mindful meditation were crucial. Hopefully they can work for you too.

For writing, pick up Anne LaMott's "Bird by Bird," if you haven't read it.

Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead.Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.

The Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman (based on a true story about an athlete who had everything and knew everything, but was still unhappy. A chance meeting with a stranger changed all that.)

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz (a remarkably simple yet life-changing way to view life)

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho (just read it... it's amazing)

Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl (how survival in a Nazi death camp taught a man how to find meaning in the darkest place)

Authentic Happiness - Martin Seligman (the science of positive psychology)

Full disclosure, this is my website, but it may have some tips that would be useful: swaggercoaching.com

I mentioned these books in the videos, but I would recommend:

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, How To Win Friends and Influence People, and Outliers

Hmm... I will start with Man's Search for Meaning and The Way of the Peaceful Warrior since it appeals to my favorite Fight Club quote "It's only when you lost everything that you're free to do anything."

I recommend: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Really Validates the experience of having shitty parents. I felt like I was reading my own childhood in this book. https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

I also recommend: When Food is Comfort. The methods that are taught in this book can be applied to any issue you have not just over eating. This book details how to validate your own emotions and helps with self regulation and fulfilling your own needs. I’m about half way through this and it has helped me alot!

https://www.amazon.com/When-Food-Comfort-Mindfully-Emotional/dp/B086K4LRFT/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=2SS41UBS7WD28&keywords=when+food+is+comfort&qid=1671206438&sprefix=when+food+%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-3

It does seem like they are scapegoating you and not really respecting you. A lot of times with younger people these things can be ambiguous, or people bond but have a dysfunctional relationship. A lot of times in small groups, one person is chosen as the scapegoat and they are used as a heatsink for the group's uncontained meanings—social messages that overflow the bounds of what is allowed to be spoken in public.

Check out R. D. Laing's book The Politics of the Family, it's very short and most of it also applies to small friend groups.

The funny thing you could do is simply distance yourself, because I bet you will notice they just choose another scapegoat or recruit a new scapegoat to pick on. The group is primary and the individuals are secondary to the group hive mind.

But you have an opportunity here to develop individuality and not be secondary to a group. Also watch Mean Girls.

Like really, they all just forgot? Some people (bougie people) do say snide things like that in public and then deny it, all the time.

This is not uncommon, so don’t beat yourself up.

Personally, I find that community is hugely important for achieving your goals - who you surround yourself with literally tells your subconscious mind what to expect as normal. That’s why, when you hang out with high-energy, fit people, you end up becoming more like them

Community is not discussed often enough as an effective tool for achieving goals, but it’s the most powerful tool we have.

We need places where we can meet likeminded people, and where we can share our goals and progress. Keeping ourselves accountable in public, but also getting praise and encouragement when we need it - that’s the key

That’s exactly why I built Krush. It’s a free app where you can set a goal, then share your daily progress with other ambitious people. We hold eachother accountable, and grow together

Good for you for your self-awareness. You see where you're at now, and you see how you want to improve.

My immediate first thought is meditation. Does meditation or yoga or some practice like that interest you at all? Meditation will help you feel at peace with intense anxiety and depression-- to be more comfortable with the uncomfortable sensations. Meditation might help you be able to be aware of your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your life and your family and your past, and to just be with all these feelings and have that be okay, not need fixing, just being with all the feelings of a human life. Meditation really speaks for itsself, in my experience it's just one of those things that just "works" in ways that could help you beyond what I could explain or what would make sense.

Do you live in a town or city or somewhere isolated? You say you have no passions- do you have any interests at all? Can you go to a gaming convention? Maybe look at event fliers in your town and see if anything at all interests you. A part of beginning to socialize is feeling uncomfortable and akward but doing it anyway, and just letting yourself be as akward as you are, and it's okay, it doesn't matter. There's groups like meetup.com where you could just browse things going on in your area and see if any event or anything interests you at all.

I'm sending you love and support! Often these healing journeys lead us to greater hights that we couldn't have imagined when we were at our lowest point.

Thank you very much for this post. Yeah truth be told I used to get hung up on the basement issue alot but I've calmed down now. I've been told that the right kindof girl for me wouldnt make a big deal out of it. I'm more focused on finding a good college program/career path that would enable me to earn enough to pay rent/save up for a home. But yeah having it be a well furnished setup makes it worthwhile. Gonna give the meetup.com a shot. Thanks again you've been a great help! :D

People will treat you how you expect to be treated. The first thing to do is to make the decision that NO MATTER WHAT you will treat yourself well and expect others to treat you well because as a human being you have inherent worth

Get a copy of the book 'why men marry some women and not others' by Molloy, it's GENIUS. As guy I can say his research is 100% solid, spot on, take it to the bank.

So what if you can't rely on looks as much as other girls, that's not disqualifying by any means. Do what you can with what you have - waist to hip ratio of .7, a bit of makeup, long hairstyle, clothes. MAkeover book. Any girlfriends who are true friends? If none, find some by BEING a friend and do for them what you wish one would do for you - coach you through the makeover process to do what you can with what you have.

yoga is fabulous for improving body confidence; if you can move well and inhabit your body it does something makeup can't.

read this book to understand men:

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702

then... Go where the guys are - learn a hobby that's male dominated and get active in it. Just do it to socialize without expectations. There are shy lonely guys everywhere but you have to know where to look. once you're there, just be pleasant and interesting and interested. Guys are gunshy about marriage because they see how entitled and manipulative women can be and the deck is stacked against men in some ways. MGTOWs exist for some strong reasons. Be different from the women who have influenced that trend.

80% of long term compatibility is personality, capitalize on your personality strengths. Get the book Fascinating Womanhood if you want to know how to stay married.

I don’t have much to offer except I wish you well and hope things get better.

I just started a book you might like called How to be Miserable: 40 strategies you are already using How to Be Miserable: 40... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254060?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Also the happiness trap is another good book.

Lastly, that short term relief will be a road to misery and addiction that is disguised as a pleasurable solution. But check out r/stopselfharm.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4VPL22W

Little Things Big Smiles. 📖

If you are one who loves to make your loved ones, spouse and the people around you happy. Then you need to check this book out.💥

You are also not left out, as this book also contains things/activities you can do that will make you smile. We all need to spread happiness in this world😃

Check out this book on amazon. You do not want to miss out on this💥💯💥 Available in kindle, paperback & hardcover

Put a big smile on someone's face today!!!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4VPL22W

Little Things Big Smiles. 📖

If you are one who loves to make your loved ones, spouse and the people around you happy. Then you need to check this book out.💥

You are also not left out, as this book also contains things/activities you can do that will make you smile. We all need to spread happiness in this world😃

Check out this book on amazon. You do not want to miss out on this💥💯💥 Available in kindle, paperback & hardcover

Put a big smile on someone's face today!!!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4VPL22W

Little Things Big Smiles. 📖

If you are one who loves to make your loved ones, spouse and the people around you happy. Then you need to check this book out.💥

You are also not left out, as this book also contains things/activities you can do that will make you smile. CHAPTER ONE mainly focuses on ways to make yourself happy. We all need to spread happiness in this world😃

Check out this book on amazon. You do not want to miss out on this💥💯💥

Put a big smile on someone's face today!!!

Resentment tends to spring from having one's boundaries crossed. And this in turn tends to happen if we have been attempting to cooperate, while the other person has attempted to gain a personal advantage in some way.

A key solution to the problem of boundary-crossing and therefore resentment (passive-aggressive hatred) is assertiveness. See Your perfect right

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=jamesmorrisstudios.com.randremind&hl=en_IN&gl=US - for android

Random reminder - for iphone

Give this book a shot too! It has definitely changed my perspective on life, good luck!

Own your past change your future

Hang in there brother! You’ll come out on top, in the mean time check out this book it has really helped me.

Own your past change your future

Are you using fear to shut yourself down? That's very common.

Do you think a book might help? I just finished a good one about shutting down fear to find your true self. Take a peek here maybe. Maybe it's what you're searching for?

It sounds like you're kind of addicted to harsh self-judgment. Is that a good way of shutting yourself down?

Do you think a book might help? I just finished a good one about finding your true self. Take a peek here. Maybe it'll help you understand who you are and why you're doing this to yourself?

Maybe you're a long way from who you really warn to be deep down. You might be repressing yourself.

Do you think a book might help? I just finished a good one about finding your true self. Take a peek here if you like.Maybe it'll put you on the right track?

If you're into books, I finished one the other day about how to deal with intrusive thoughts and negative thinking (and lots of other stuff as well). Life-changing. You can have a peek here. I hope it helps. Good luck!

I published a book last month on Amazon that you might like. Basically you can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures (lots of pictures!). Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here.

It’s hard but can be done. Try different things. Some suggestions are:

• Work with a good therapist (good ones have to be looked for - Dr. Ramani is excellent and is on YouTube)
• Try reading books. Two that comes to mind are Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender and You Can Heal Your Life
• Meditating

Never stop asking for help and never give up and you will be successful.

Allowing their opinions to define you.

https://www.amazon.com/Labyrinth-Rewiring-Nodes-Maze-Rewired/dp/1398425494/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=32ZECZ8QFUDUS&keywords=rei+rei+labyrinth&qid=1644249234&sprefix=rei+rei+la%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-4

Please check out this book

https://www.amazon.com/Labyrinth-Rewiring-Nodes-Maze-Rewired/dp/1398425494/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=32ZECZ8QFUDUS&keywords=rei+rei+labyrinth&qid=1644249234&sprefix=rei+rei+la%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-4

Not a book, but have you tried ImmaterialAI?

I built it from my own research when I realized a book is too linear, it can take you through the depths of your mind and help you drop negative/limiting/wrong mentalities instantly, it's free and data never leaves your device.

This is a review we got for it this week: "Oh this could be so helpful if your willing to commit the time and face some real hard truths". Others call it genius, splendid, brilliant, great, visionary, brave. Try it out, lmk if you have any questions!

The book if that's more your thing, Down the rabbit hole of perception: a look back at facts and beliefs

I can say that your real self will only be trashed if you let others opinions of you upset you. If people do not like you or they mock you then they simply are haters. Any genuine, half-decent human being would be interested in learning more about you and be your friend, but If you don't put yourself out there and you overthink it, you will always be alone. I've been in the same boat before, but I have been able to make many great friends by being myself and putting myself out there. If someone mocks you or makes fun of you simply laugh and ignore them. Go on with your day and keep your smile on your face because your opinion of you is stronger than others. It's all about self love! If you love yourself for who you are that's all that matters. Don't try to fit in to seem cool or anything like that. I can help you do this and be your friend, and I will accept you the way you are! That is proof there are others that will too! Hit me up and please feel free to book a free call so I can help you overcome this! https://calendly.com/levijfoss/call

It can be easy to feel unimportant in this situation. The key is to validate yourself instead of seeking attention from others. Become your own best friend! Do things that impact others and you will feel completely different than you do now! I'm here for you and you can book a free call with me and we can talk more! https://calendly.com/levijfoss/call

Really good advice - all it takes is a change in perspective (though truly internalizing that change might take a while and lots of reinforcement). Also, John Wooden (who he quotes) has a great talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

My suggestion is to pick two of the following:

1. Set aside time in the morning or the evening for meditation. Use a meditation podcast or something similar to train yourself early on, but transition to silent meditation when you feel it is constructive. 20 minutes is plenty.

2. For memory training, download an anki deck about something that interests you and study it. Learn about anki here. Find decks here. This is the perfect activity to fill empty stretches of time, like waiting in line.

3. Self reflection is a tricky one. I'd recommend trying out journaling. That just means setting aside time every day to write down your thoughts and feelings.

4. Creativity is another weird one. I don't think it is necessarily constructive to try to do this every day, but set aside a longer stretch of time a couple of times a week to work on creating anything. That could be a DND module, a painting, an electronic doodad, whatever.

5. Learning is straightforward. Get a "for dummies" or equivalent beginner book or guide, or a video course, on any topic you want to learn and follow their curriculum. The planning is handled for you.

Lastly, you can't reasonably expect to do all of these things. Even if you had the time, you probably would be too mentally drained to keep up. Just pick two that fit in your life and try them out for a while.

I'm here for all of you guys. I understand what it feels like to not be good enough. Trust me you are very important rather you believe it right now or not. I remember when my dad died, I got bullied for being fat, and a whole lot of other things happened to me and I didnt see the brighter side to life. My life lacked meaning and purpose, and I felt empty inside. I felt like I truly didn't deserve to be alive, and was constantly getting abused. I ended up trying to kill myself and I didnt succeed. I wanted to try to make something out of my life because I was tired of feeling that way so I started reading self help books to help me improve my mindset. I started learning about people that have became successful that had a rough life like me. I started believing in God again, and even started working out. I got a job and started saving my money, and even got promotions! I started making youtube videos to help inspire others to keep going because I know how it feels. I also coach people to help them find their true meaning in life and to overcome depression! I would love to help you if you'd let me anyone on here please message me anytime I'm here for all of you . I love you all! here's the link to my coaching go book a call!here's the link to my youtube

I also do free one on one coaching to help people become confident, overcome the past, become financially independent, and get in great physical shape. All I ask for is a testimonial from ya! I also make 4-5 youtube videos a week to help others learn from my lessons. https://youtu.be/Uth4_P4AAu4 https://calendly.com/levijfoss/1on1coaching Enjoy!

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just used to not being the best you can be. Our mind tends to naturally settle for less and out ourselves down especially in today's world. You are more than you could ever believe and even though your 30 you still want to improve. The first step would be letting go of the past and your limited beliefs. Next creating an optimistic mindset and really creating an exciting vision for your life. Once you start working towards your vision you will feel happier and more satisfied than ever. I am.here for you as a friend so feel free to msg me anytime. I used to be the same way. I recommend you checkout my youtube for motivational videos that will teach you a lot. I used to be addicted to drugs and be a loser in high school because my dad passed away when I was 12 I stopped believing in God. I went down a horrible path but I have been.able to comeback up 100 times better. My purpose is to make this world a better place by helping people achieve their dreams. I coach people and help them.create massive results for free, I work 60 hrs a week at amazon, and I make 2-3 youtube videos a week to help out. My life has changed financially, spiritually, mentally, and even physically. I hope this helps and I know you can make.your life better. Here is the link to my youtube: https://youtu.be/jZQ2k-5J6yY

Here is the link for my coaching: https://calendly.com/levijfoss/1on1coaching

I can help you stay committed to a diet. I used to be severely overweight and I am now in wonderful shape. We have to interrupt your thought pattern my man it seems your too hard on yourself so then you resort to eating. I am here for you my brother and I am doing free coaching 🙌 it will help you change your life around if your seriously willing to make the changes and tired of your current life. https://calendly.com/levijfoss/1on1coaching

Also, what have you been considering? In two minutes I came up with this:

http://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=37bbb2ac957df538&q=International+Relations+Entry+Level&tk=19s2957u25uhpcs0.

http://www.ypfp.org/04aug_graduate_student_internship_human_rights_watch_deadline_21aug

Hi there,

First of all, you should try to force yourself to exercise some because this would give you more energy and help you to feel better.

Also, make sure you drink plenty of cold water and eat healthy. All of these things can help you with your mood.

Sometimes, we all think too much when we get bored, which isn't always a good thing. We should try to keep busy and experience new things which could bring happiness.

Also, I have found that true happiness comes from within. By letting go of negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we can be instantly happy. I have been practicing, letting go of negative emotions over the years, and when things have gotten really bad, I use the techniques of the Sedona Method which really helps me.

If this is something you may be interested in, you could check out the articles in the following URL, maybe start with the articles, Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems or Do You Find Yourself Struggling with Resistance?http://hubpages.com/@tomsmithnow

Hope this helps if you are still feeling a little blue. Let me know if you have any questions, and I will try to answer.

Hi there,

I think you could really benefit from the Sedona Method even though you would probably think at first that it couldn't possibly help you. I believe it could.

It is a way (method/techniques) of working on your inside and a way to stop having negative feelings, thoughts, and emotions. It can work along with any other program as further support. It has really helped me with problems in the past.

If you are interested, you should check out some of the articles in this URL, starting with Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems, http://hubpages.com/@tomsmithnow

Sure hope it helps you. Let me know if you have any questions, and I will try to answer.

I still struggle with a proper sleep schedule. The problem is light.

Bright light is proven to affect your sleep schedule, causing you to stay up later. Avoid computer/tablet/phone use like an hour before a scheduled bed time.

Download Flux to automagically adjust your computers colors to reduce the amount of bright (primarily blue) light that affects your biological clock.

Try Sleep as Android if you have an Android device. It can log your sleep, and best of all wake you up in the right phase of your sleep so you'll feel most refreshed. This will prevent you from oversleeping and thus affecting your sleep schedule.

Another tip, which may be kind of obvious, but fill your days with more activities. This can give you a good reason to get up at a set time and expend more energy so when you goto bed, it's easy to goto sleep. I've noticed a lot of days I can't sleep right are when I laze around and don't do anything.

Yes, I have a VIP ticket I am selling for UPW London 2016 - I have been to UPW 4 times in the past and it is EXCELLENT (ignore naysayer). I can't go this time as I will be working but would be happy for my ticket to go to a willing participant. I have listed my ticket on gumtree for £650, but I am open to offers if you would like to negotiate. Click here: https://www.gumtree.com/p/for-sale/tony-robbins-upw-unleash-the-power-within-2016-vip-ticket/1157946140

I hope to hear from you

Hi - I have a VIP ticket for sale for UPW London, April 2016.

I won't need it this time as I will be working instead. I have attended UPW 4 times in the past and it is EXCELLENT (ignore naysayer). VIP tickets are usually very expensive (they can cost over a grand). I've listed mine at £650 on gumtree. If you would like to make me an offer, I am willing to come down in price for you. Visit gumtree for the link: https://www.gumtree.com/p/for-sale/tony-robbins-upw-unleash-the-power-within-2016-vip-ticket/1157946140

Hope to hear from you

Here's a link to free software that does what you describe.
brainworkshop home page

They have a forum you can read, as well. Some people describe impressive benefits they have gained from the software, and other techniques.

I've read research suggesting that found no benefits, not with this particular software, but with a commercial web offering whose name I can't recall.

Something for you to look into, anyway.

I like Day One myself. It's for Apple devices only (Mac, iPhone, iPad) but it has a great design and very useful journaling templates to make it easy to keep track of things. And your data is stored with strong encryption, too.

Yeah, I can understand - you go to write, but without any particular goal in mind, and just write about whatever comes first. It's a good way to go.

I do something similar - I use 750words to write every day and waffle about whatever is on my mind, and then have a journal for more personal/bigger issues that I need to think/write about extensively.

I use a combination of two websites, kanbanflow and HabitRPG. I used to have a problem with procrastination as well, but these tools seemed to have stopped it for good. I use the pomodoro technique timer on KanbanFlow to time work and break periods, and HabitRPG to list to-dos and motivate me.

Yes, I know what that feeling when affirmations feel like lies. I read somewhere (wish I could remember where…) that it can be more effective to create more ‘realistic’ affirmations that we feel we could believe. Here’s an over-the-top example:

> Feeling: I’m crap at everything I try to do!

> Old-School Affirmation: I can do everything I put my mind to!

That’s too much of a leap when we feel crap at stuff. We just can’t believe the affirmation. But could we believe this affirmation?

> I grow and learn each day. This one is a smaller step, but leads the way to bigger beliefs. Perhaps you could find an intermediate step as your love affirmation, perhaps something like, ‘I’m more worthy than I realise’.

Also, check out How To Do The Work by Dr Nicole LePera. I’m finding this book super helpful as she unlocks understanding about the ego and the inner child. It’s easy to read and understand and has practical exercises at the end of each chapter. I’m not finished yet but it’s great so far. All the best, OP, you are worthy and well done showing up for yourself to seek advice and help - big love to you!

The book, The Will to Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl might be worth the read, and his other works afterwards. He talks about an idea he proposed called the existential vacuum which is the source of various types of problems.

I think you are dealing with the types of issues his program, Logotherapy, is built to deal with and that countermeasures you have tried to put in place aren't effective because of this.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0142181269/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_P2PTDMM8DJ3XQYE8J3S4

Its $15 on Amazon, so if you can afford it I think it might give you some insight into yourself and why its more challenging than you expect.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B093FWFNJY

"Evidence: Stop Overthinking, Overcome Negative Thoughts and Change Your Perspective on Life in Hours"

Explains how to change thoughts. It's 30 pages and it's free until Apr 30th.

Hope it helps :)

So first of all, relax. Cs earn degrees. As long as you're not outright failing then you're passing and doing fine. In the job market absolutely no one cares about your grades on a test. They just want to see you hold a degree. So relax.

Second, check and see if your school offers therapy. Make an appointment today. You'll immediately feel better, I guarantee it as it's the first step towards improvement.

Finally, what really helped me understand then master my procrastination was a book called "The NOW Habit" by Dr. Neil Fiore. The "Unschedule" is worth the price of the book alone, but there's so much good stuff in there.

Your biggest conundrum is a lack of confidence. You must understand something: everyone is not going to like you, want to be friends with you, or even want to talk to you- AND THAT IS OKAY!

As you go through life, you will also encounter people that you do not like, want to be friends with, or even want to talk to- and that too, IS OKAY.

The funny thing about being human is that we will not connect with everyone mutually or equally. You will have a stronger connection to some people than they do to you, and some people will have a stronger connection to you, than you do to them. This is normal.

What is important is to be true to yourself- even though there may be consequences because of it (i.e., lack of popularity). It is better to be liked/disliked for who you are, rather than stressing as you try to be someone who you are not.

It is also okay to want to be more social. Lean into being bolder, and simply less afraid. Everyone is uniquely different. We all have different likes, interests, and opinions. Working towards being secure in your own. Remember that it’s okay if absolutely no one agrees with you- and when it happens, you can use it as context to further the conversation, “What do you see that I don’t?” or “Here’s what I see, that I think many people overlook.”

It’s okay to be different. Keep you head up- be you.

If you found this beneficial, you may want to check out my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RBRKQ5L/ref=cm\_sw\_em\_r\_mt\_dp\_er3.FbMQ6RYMA

Simple yet effective. Because it’s close to us. Words that resonate with each story without going to the universe or depth waters. About you and me. Us. STEP The power of decisions https://www.amazon.com/Step-Power-Decisions-Alessandro-Vecchi/dp/1546712933

Seeing a therapist is definitely the best thing to do. If you’re not ready for that, then start journaling and focus on your Frustration, Anger, Disappointment, and Sadness. The goal in journaling is to achieve INNER-PEACE. Most people have been subliminally trained (through advertising and marketing since they were old enough to watch TV) to believe that money and expensive stuff (big house, expensive cars, designer clothes/jewelry) equals happiness. However, happiness is actually INNER-PEACE- the feeling you have in the absence of Frustration, Anger, Disappointment, or Sadness.

The advantage of journaling is that you are essentially talking to the person who knows you best- yourself. You can say what you need to say, without worry of judgement. You can be honest, repetitive, and redundant, and it doesn’t matter. What matters is being honest with yourself, and to truthfully address the real issues instead of copouts (i.e. blaming politicians when your really hurt by having a Mom that was more vested in finding the next “Mr. Right” than her children).

You can journal on a computer and delete it all, or write it out on paper and rip it up when you’re done. The biggest thing is to truthfully work through the real issues that are causing you the most stress and pain.

Many people today waste their lives looking for the quick-fix, the magic pill, or the shortcut to happiness. In turn, they prolong their issues, and the issues often become worse as new stresses and pains arise. It’s difficult to deal with painful issues, however, once they are resolved you will be stronger and better prepared for new challenges that may arise.

I wish you the best.

If you found this beneficial, you may want to check out my book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RBRKQ5L/ref=cm\_sw\_em\_r\_mt\_dp\_er3.FbMQ6RYMA

You are obsessed with sex, which is "normal" in the sense of it's societal ubiquity -- our societies are sex-obsessed, so kids become sex-obsessed and then huge numbers turn into very frustrated adults.

Honestly, you're not missing out on much. And I can virtually guarantee that in your situation having sex would cause you a lot more suffering. You are not ready. Not even close. And that's PERFECTLY OKAY. You don't need to have sex, you don't even need to masturbate.

But you do need to learn to take care of yourself. That's one of the core duties of your existence. Work on developing yourself and feeling well. Make that your focus. And realize that focusing on sex has been, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future, a massive barrier to your personal development. Don't feed that demon; starve it.

I don't know what a good first step might be, but this is a book that has helped a lot of people, including myself:

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B004C438CW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Also, check out Dan Savage's work. And maybe reach out to him.

really wishing you well. Take care, and good luck! :)