Couple's counseling with a therapist.
You need a third party who can validate her being heard and explain to her that she isn't being good to you by denying something that treats your medical condition.
Also, the book "Is it You Me or ADD" might help her find her feet in the relationship.
So, I'm guessing there are a lot of folks with adderall prescriptions here. Adderall has what seems to be an under reported side-effect (under reported because it seems like it keeps coming up on here, but I never seen it listed in the main "side-effects" section of drug sites describing adderall). Anyway, take some magnesium. Adderall decreases absorption of magnesium (and potassium and calcium and iron and zinc and folic acid and chromium), so you aren't getting enough and over time it results in muscle issues including tensing and cramping. Probably wouldn't hurt to take some B12, also, as adderall effects your uptake of that as well.
Important: Do NOT take magnesium oxide, as that can interact with adderall in a bad way.
Anyway, I take a magnesium glycinate and have pretty good results with it. I take one of these an hour or two before bed and it works OK for me, but shop around and get one you like. I also take a multi-vitamin with most of those other things in it, but it was limited in the amount of magnesium it had and I was still grinding my teeth at night. Incidentally, taking potassium helped address the leg cramps I was getting, so that's also a thing.
Edit: It'll probably be 2-4 weeks before you really notice the difference. Worth noting that it helps some people sleep. Also worth noting that it helps reduce the effect in some people where they adapt to their dosage over time and require a larger dose.
A timercap plus hidden camera recording of the sister stealing the drugs would probably be the best thing to do. If she's lucky the parents will believe her when she says she didn't reset the timer, but if they don't she can fall back on the recording of her sister stealing.
I use this hidden recording program, you click the app button and it starts recording in the background until you hit it again to stop recording.
There are a lot of things that this could be -- off the top of my head, here are potential explanations:
Thank you so much! I know it's self indulgent, but it feels good to share with people who understand the struggle.
It may be kind of cheesy and definitely a bit nerdy, but Will Smith's speech about "laying the best brick you can" really struck me. I couldn't plan anything to save my life, but I could try and make every single day the best I could.
I knew I was not good with attracting women so I started to do research into how to do that sort of thing. I found there is a lot of terrible, disgusting advice out there. The best advice I found is a book called Models by Mark Manson. It's less about to attract women and more about how to better yourself so you'll attract the right people into your life and eventually, the right women. That mixed with the right amount of luck was enough for me to find to best person I've ever met.
I also read books by Ryan Holiday (Obstacle is the way, and Ego is the enemy) that taught me about stoicism. How to build self discipline, self accountability and a healthy work ethic.
Little by little and piece by piece I tried to build healthy habits (or quit them). After I started school I quit smoking. That was incredibly hard but over time, I did it. After that I incorporated exercise, meditation,journaling etc.
I will say it's super easy to share the cliff notes of the story and cherry pick the highlights, but there were lot of lows as well. Depression hit me hard for a good chunk of it. I got fired from my college job. Lost some friends. Struggled almost every single day but tried my best to keep my head up.
I've been reading Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky recently, and it's got some good tips on one of the big problems - finishing. Make everything as easy as possible to put away! Please check it out from the library (I got the ebook on Hoopla for free from mine) to see if it's got any strategies that might help you! A lot is having storage in open-front bins like these rather than an opaque tub you can't see into. I'm planning on getting some myself, since I'm awful about forgetting things that are out of my line of sight. (and then re-buying the thing when I've forgotten I already have something similar!)
In my head, I know how I'd like things to look, but it's very hard to put into practice. I've recently tried to be more mindful and add a "10 minute tidy" alarm when I get home from work to try to clean up any random stuff I've just got laying around. It helps when my usual tidying time is 0 minutes per day! :| I really try to think about if I need to keep this thing I've had sitting on my counter for 2+ years that I stopped using a week after I bought it. The answer is: TRASH IT!
For your nail polish - I've seen some ladies with such a big collection that they've bought and never used most of them - what they've done to go through them is to create a "snake" on their desk of like 5-10 polishes and saying that they'll go one at a time through that line to use each of them and then put them away (or , of course, you could downsize your collection to the ones you actually use!).
Jack of all trades and master of none is oftentimes better than a master of one.
I suggest this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Refuse-Choose-Interests-Passions-Hobbies/dp/1594866260
There's an extension that has solved my "9000 tabs open because I don't want to forget about this random tangent I'm interested in" problem. OneTab, you just click the extension and all your tabs are put in a list of links sorted by the day they were put there, and you can just do your actual work without worrying about forgetting about that interesting tangent. I've got links from last year on the list, just chilling at the bottom in case I have time to look at them.
You are not leaving to solve your own ADHD problem. That is something you and an understanding therapist have to come up with adaptive solutions for. What you are leaving is being treated with contempt. You are leaving feeling disrespected and unloved in what is supposed to be a loving relationship. The recipe for feeling lonely is to always be around someone who absolutely doesn't love you. Much healthier to be alone physically when you are already alone emotionally. But as mentioned, you still have to work on adapting to everyday life despite your ADHD. Here are some apps that help: Recommend to you a nice Speaking Alarm Clock! https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=wan.pclock Please download and enjoy! And "Google Keep Notes" it's actually a pretty good scratch pad to remember groceries lists, etc. Though I prefer "Microsoft OneNote" for anything of significant size. Loneliness sucks, but it's better to be lonely alone.
Exactly. After a long time of dealing with it I started to think I had more of a physical ailment than anxiety. My heart would pound and race and sometimes I'd get twitching or tremors. All seemingly randomly. I'd feel super tired while simultaneously unable to relax. The whole time, there's nothing that I'm ruminating about or mentally/emotionally upset about. It just seems to store up in my body whether I'm aware of a cause or not.
I've found that taking magnesium helps (it's way better than nothing). Forms like L-threonate, glycinate, taurate, malate, etc. are best. Just ordered this formulation after having success with l-threonate.
Stolen from here, maybe:
https://www.amazon.com/internet-responding-annoying-mug-ceramic-perfect-husband/dp/B079DGKTT4
I bought this pencil case to keep in my backpack for my necessities, Tylenol, inhaler, tissues, lip balm, hand wipes, pen, pencil and any other small thing I need on a daily basis. That way it’s organized, in one place and I can put it in a purse or travel bag if I need to.
Edit 1: I also use a Bubm cable case, which admittedly isn’t full right now. But when I travel, it is filled with all my cables and cords plus my laptop power and mouse.
Edit 2: Here is an album of both
I've never tried it and I have no idea how good it is, but there's actually an app out there to "gamify" your life.
Here's a blurb from the site:
>First, you'll set up tasks that you want to do in your everyday life. Then, as you complete the tasks in real life and check them off, you'll earn Experience and Gold. Gold is used to buy equipment and some items, as well as custom rewards. Experience causes your character to level up and unlock content such as pets, skills, and quests! For more detail, check out a step-by-step overview of the game
It sounds like a fun concept, but I've never been much of a gamer. However, if it's something that works well with your brain, it might be worth looking into.
> He just texted me to let me know a password. He keeps a spreadsheet of them for me.
That's not very safe. You should get a password manager, that way you can store all your passwords and just have to remember a single one, also there's autofill, password generation and cloud sync. I use KeePassXC
5 min man, 5 min today. Maybe 6 tomorrow. We're all hidden perfectionists here, and it takes time to understand ourselves because we're pretty complex. I'm realising a lot that I'm comparing to whom I want to be, and that's unfair to who I am today.
Also, time tracking. Pushing that "start" button on a task is a magical switch, maybe try that out? Super-productivity.com is pretty ADHD-aware in my experience.
Here is a $1 item that ships free w prime. And, its soap, so you'll use it up eventually. What if you order one bar once or twice a day for the next couple of weeks. I bet pretty soon, you won't care when the soap arrives and my guess is that it would be worth the $30 to get over the preoccupation.
If it's on your phone you can set timers for your apps so it boots you off after a set amount of time. There are probably programs for pc and mac as well.
Being inside all the time messes up all your natural rhythms. I try to do like my cat and sit in a sunbeam for like 20 minutes first thing in the morning. Does me wonders! If I do that I'm almost always super sleepy at bedtime.
Technology is your friend, as much as it feels like the enemy sometimes. Set timers and alarms to remind you to do things. I have a Pomodoro timer on my phone I use to try to be more productive during the day. I have 25 minutes of "work" and then a 5 minute break during which I get up and run around and irritate my husband and cat. Helps break up the day and let you get some energy out between focusing.
Another good one is <strong>Everyday</strong>, which you can use to build or break habits. I have one set where I turn off all my electronics at 9:30pm (I have an alarm that goes off at that time every day and I'm trying to condition myself to respond to it), brush my teeth, bathe, and lay down to read until I get sleepy. I try to have the lights off by 10:30 or 11. I've been doing that for like two weeks and I've been waking up naturally before my alarm (7:30am) for the first time in my life.
Also get some sleep, dude. Lack of sleep amplifies all your ADHD symptoms. I know it seems like your whole life will pass you by if you do, but sleep is literally the bedrock upon which all your health rests. Without it you'll crumble. Go to bed. Be kind to yourself.
Yesss, I found a meds box that has 7 days that are seperate and you can take 1 day with you in your bag, and it has 5 compartments per day (morning, afternoon, evening, night, take as needed). So I bought 4 of them and now every month I take 30mins to refill them all and every morning I can just get my meds of my nightstand and throw it in my bad.
I still use a med app (medisafe) as backup, and together the system works really well (haven't forgotten my meds in a year except 2 times when).
Yeah, meds. Meds are good for that.
Also, try different background noise machines. Mynoise.net has a whole bunch of free ones that are completely customizable. I use “binaural harmonics” with headphones and set it to “animate” if i need to read some textbook chapter and just REALLY don’t need fuckin’ Avril Lavigne to be there too. I think they’ve got an app as well.
It’s a variable neutral sound, and because it’s binaural it kinda feels like it phases through my skull and vibrates the music out of my fuckin brain. “Animate” makes the sliders change every so often, so it’s constantly changing and you can’t tune it out. It doesn’t leave room for music to get back in, but makes reading really easy.
My psych provided some insight that made a lot of sense: What good is perfect if the task doesn't get done?
I struggle with this a bit. During a project I constantly check in to see if I'm on task or if I've gone off on a rabbit trail. If you have a hard time doing the self check in, set a timer for a short interval.
As far as your project, pick a topic you already know something about. Pick something at random if you can't decide. Your favorite band, author, type of food (BBQ joint, steakhouse, chocolate, etc), or a travel website... something that you can easily create content for. Or, if lorem ipsum is allowed, just use that.
Then, wireframe it out. If you tend to get distracted with this, design it on paper first. You can set a timer for 20 minutes and only focus on the layout during that time.
When the wireframe is done, code it up using only HTML... no styling for now. It sounds like this is the main requirement of the project so don't proceed until you have this done.
Only when the coding is done, have fun with the visual design. Pull some images from Unsplash or Pexels or your favorite photo site, pick your fonts, etc.
You CAN do this!
Here's my pancake recipe if anybody's interested:
They tell you to use water but fuck that, use milk obviously
Dice an apple real small and boil them for 10 min
Dice a banana and throw it in the batter with the boiled apples
Add a little cinnamon and maple syrup
Stir, and don't make it too thick, they're pretty dense
Cook in copious amounts of butter. If you cook your pancakes in oil, get your dirty hands off my recipe (unless you avoid animal products, that's cool man)
He sounds kinda like a jerk, maybe consider leaving him. Another thing, get post-it sticky notes to remind yourself of things. Try using your phone too with an app like Google Keep and Habitica.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.habitrpg.android.habitica
And use your phone alarm clock to set reminders so you don't get late (30 min before, 10 min before)
Banning my smartphone from my bedroom, so I'm not on it when I first wake up or when I'm trying to fall asleep.
The Freedom app, on my phone and on my computer, to keep me off of distracting sites at certain times of day.
Exercise.
Recognizing that "little things" like cooking and doing laundry tax my mental energy/executive function, and doing what I can to simplify my life like using microwaveable freezer meals and a drop-off/pick-up laundromat (they even fold the clothes for me!)
Regular visits to /r/adhd to remind myself that other people struggle with the same issues, and that I am not some horrible freak.
Meds. Working with a therapist/ADHD coach.
Putting things I need to remember in a place where I will see them. Do I need to take out the trash tomorrow? OK then, I will put the trash in front of the front door tonight so that I can't leave without seeing it there.
Putting all of my bills on auto-pay.
It is supposedly from an old Mark Twain quote - If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Idea is to do the hardest/ugliest/biggest thing first, so you know the rest of your day is easier.
Yeah I gave up making bookmarks and just put articles I want to read into Evernote or readitlater to read on my phone/kindle.
Try only having 2 tabs open at once. Every tab you have open requires a placeholder in your working memory (or it doesn't and you forget about the tab). Maybe 3 tabs.
I noticed I have become addicted to consuming information. NEW IS BETTER. MUST READ NEW STUFF. So I have .PDFs and articles saved on ADHD which I have never read. One of these weeks I am going to block web-browsing and sift through everything I have collected.
As is mentioned in every thread like this you can use leechblock on Firefox or stayfocusd in chrome to give you a certain amount of time for various sites. I put limits on my news, sports, gossip, and reddit. After 90 minutes I have to open a new browser if I want to continue...but that makes it a conscious decision and not just a automatic habit.
https://wordpress.com/post/mymessedupmind.blog/1220 I basically talk about how to organise better and stop procrastination even though I don't know how to organise or stop procrastinating myself and can't even take my own advice but enjoy anyway lol!
Do not rely on your memory. You will forget.
If you have something important you need to remember or do, write it down. Create a reminder.
I still fall into the trap of thinking that I will remember something later and 99 times out of 100 I fail to do so and it causes me or other people problems.
For the Android users out there check out Life Reminders.
Other Stuff
I am a Software Engineer so many of my coping mechanisms are coping applications that I have created to solve problems I face.
If you would like to check them out here's the projects page on my website.
I'll write more later as I need to get back to work.
Edit:
If a solution isn't working, try something else.
> We're just throwing science at the wall to see what sticks. -Cave Johnson
When I come across a problem I have I will try to solve it. If my solution isn't working I will try something else. I will keep thinking of new solutions and applying them until I find the right one that works.
This applies to EVERYTHING in your daily life. Whether it's figuring out the best place to leave your keys so you don't lose them, finding the best app to remind you to do things or whatever problem you face.
Adapt or fail. I chose to adapt.
If you have stimulants, setting an alarm to take your meds about an hour before you wake up can help a lot.
Similarly, recently someone recommended keeping a piece of fruit or something else breakfast-y on your nightstand, and start eating it as soon as your alarm goes off. I've found it to be pretty helpful. (I also leave tea or coffee. No, I don't mind cold tea or coffee, but I tend to make them pretty sweet.)
It's an investment, but I use a wake up light and it's done wonders for my sleep schedule. For 40 minutes before your alarm, it has a very strong light which gradually brightens the room, which makes you wake up far more gradually. This is the one that I have - it's amazingly well reviewed, but fairly expensive. There's a $50 one from Phillips, and some off brands which are even cheaper. (Make sure you do some research into the cheaper ones - if the light isn't bright enough at its peak, or if it's not gradual enough, it won't be very effective.)
I have been doing it for 9 years now. Right now, I am using the instructions from Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation but I really got into it through the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh which I found extremely helpful for my ADHD because of the many different meditations and applications for them he teaches. A great place to start with him is <em>The Miracle of Mindfulness</em>. He has a very soft, kind and completely un-hardcore approach to meditation that is very accessible and helpful for us who can have a tendency to be hard on ourselves in life.
Right now I am doing formal sitting meditation for 30 min in the morning, but up until recently I was sitting for 20 minutes.
I cannot tell you how much good mindfulness has done for me in my life. I know I would not be in the good life situation I am in at all without it. It is not perfect. I still have to work with my ADHD directly, but I would be much much worse with it without meditation.
Water really is KEY for so many things. I’ve learned to fill a glass of water and put it besides my bed for when I wake up in the morning. I’m a very sloooooow riser but chugging some water asap helps a lot! ALSO NEVER DRINK COFFEE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. I’ve tried it one too many times and it’s disastrous
Also, I might as well throw this out there even tho most won’t see it. Consider trying some black tea.( Here’s my favorite brand). It doesn’t have as much caffeine as coffee but the Ltheanine helps offset the anxiety. I drink 2 cups in the morning and then 1 or 2 more after lunch. It’s weird because when I need it to boost me it does but I can still drink it at night and fall asleep.
Yes it is common. It is called many things, but the one I like the best is "Resistance" which was coined by Steven Pressfield in his book entitled The War of Art. Now Pressfield takes a combative attitude towards overcoming resistance. That is you buckle down and just plow through it. Every day. Come hell or high water. He has some general tricks for doing this in the book if you are interested. It is a good read.
Another way to overcome it is to simply focus on the next action. You walk over and pick up your drawing pad. That is it. That is all you need to do. Then the next action may be: you get a pencil. That is it. That is all you need to do. And so on.
A great way to get into this mode is the "5 second rule," you count down from 5 (54321) and do the next action. It is very powerful tool.
Something else that might help is loving kindness meditation towards yourself. Artists can be very very hard on themselves and have a lot of identity wrapped up in their art. This kind of meditation is not only fun, but it will take that edge off and help loosen the identity issues around the art. It will help you "go pro" as Pressfield likes to say.
Not directly related, but I'm really enjoying <strong>Twilight</strong>, similar to <strong>f.lux</strong> (also awesome) for computers, it adjusts your screen to warmer tones gradually over time during the day so your natural sleep cycle is bothered less from staring at it in the evening and night. With prescribed stims and my hyperfocus always kicking in at night, it's really easy to lose track of time if I don't feel tired from staring at screens.
Have you ever been able to or is this not a new thing? Depression can also cause thing to not be as desirable and it can come on very slowly. I have ADD (I know ADHD but I'm still bitter as Pluto not being a planet) and dysthymiahttps://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/persistent-depressive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20350929). I never even realized I went from always listening to music because I loved it, to music being super boring, to podcasts since they were always different, to then being bored with those. Recently I started taking Prozac instead of Wellbutrin and at least initially it seems I can pay attention to that kind of stuff much better and enjoy it again.
Not saying that is your issue but depression is commonly comorbid with ADHD and can cause what you are mentioning.
I hope you find a way to figure it out!
I think often of this book we read in school when I was very young.
The guy is repeating "soap, soap, don't forget the soap" to himself but people keep overhearing him and thinking he's insulting them so they yell at him and he starts repeating whatever they said instead.
I think the end is probably someone telling him they'll wash his mouth out with soap or something so then he gets back on track with his original mantra.
I 100% recommend getting one of these 30 minute timer outlets, you leave the hot glue gun plugged in and turned on, and when you need to use it, you push the button and it stays on for 30 minutes, then cuts the power. They make other kinds that let you set different/higher timeouts, but for hot glue guns, soldering irons, or curling irons, the simple 30 minute one is terrific.
Stop worrying and buy these: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HJD7RGQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_T.XfCbPPKFVH0
I have a couple, and haven't had this problem since!!
Do you read much? I find audiobooks to be a godsend. Great for the commute, working out, cleaning the house, whatever. They occupy my mind while keeping my eyes and hands free to do stuff, I find almost impossible to do (or unbearable at least) when my mind is not occupied, because I get bored or dwell on things or just drive myself crazy.
Anyway, I say this because I've listened to a few books lately that have really helped me. I've done CBT, and these books, together, have helped me in a similar way to CBT, but even more. YMMV, obviously. But here are my recommendations:
Also, two books on ADHD specifically that I've got but haven't read yet: Smart but Stuck and The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD.
In the example of business.
Just start by setting the framework. Make your ideas into something concrete and sharable. It can just be key thoughts/ideas or you can fully flesh it out. Get it in text so you don't forget or lose track of the important things, don't leave it to memory alone. I would recommend google docs and/or Trello https://trello.com/boopboop2/recommend for the basic stuff.
Another good tool is a text to speech program and then just think out loud and copy pasta it and shave it down and format. Saves a lot of time and energy for me.
Plan, strategize, break down into manageable steps with a realistic timeline or milestones. Good documentation to share your ideas/plan/vision with others.
Find your partner or partners. Having people alongside you will both co-motivate you and your team members and hopefully encourage a sense of responsibility, ownership, and accountability.
I'm not sure what kind of support groups you have and if there are smart/reliable people in it but find where those are. Maybe a hobbyist group or online group or whatever.
If you get stuck, ask for guidance or find some video content to lead you in the right direction.
Can't really tell you what would be best for your situation but that's the outline.
This is really helpful. I'm lucky if I can get through six lines of text before wandering off. I found spritz really helpful too and their "spritzlet" application lets you read nearly any webpage with their method. It's pretty hip.
Beeline looks great too. I'm going to use them both. Thanks for posting this!
Edit: Gilded? HFS, how awesome! Thanks!
This is the story of my life. I've switched careers twice already and am considering doing so again. I also bounce from hobby to hobby. Currently very into photography and woodworking, but that could change next week again.
I read a really great book about this that a lot of people saying this sounds like them may find super helpful in understanding what you may need in terms of a career/life if you have so many changing interests; "How To Be Everything: A guide for those who (still) don't know what they want to be when they grow up" by Emilie Wapnick (https://www.amazon.ca/How-Be-Everything-Guide-Those/dp/0062566652/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544556863&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+everything)
I highly recommend a small safe for your pills. Seriously. She *will* abuse them again.
Also, if your folks would be sympathetic, talk to them. Explain your sister is abusing your drugs. If they brush it off or do not take it seriously--don't buy it.
This is probably evidence that she has abused Adderall before and possibly other substances, too.
This is coming from someone who is pretty lenient in terms of recreational substance use. Stealing from family, and specific, stealing prescriptions they need to function is just all sorts of fucked up.
Some options for preventing misuse of your meds:
Two different combo lock bottles, and a small storage box (for weekly organizers and the original prescription bottle)
The priciest one is around $20.
It's no more common in us than in people who aren't on ADHD meds. In fact, one study even showed that it's <em>less</em> common:
>In its position paper, the AAP cited data that sudden cardiac deaths, while tragic, are also rare. According to the AAP analysis, such deaths occur in about two children for every million taking ADHD medications — actually fewer than the eight to 62 sudden deaths per million that occur in the general pediatric population.
I'm thinking that's probably because a kid who's taking ADHD meds is a kid who's actually going to the doctor, and probably having their heart monitored more closely (since some doctors do an EKG before prescribing stimulants). If a kid has a heart problem and gets it diagnosed before going on ADHD meds, then they're not going to keel over dead playing sports, the way a lot of kids with those heart conditions do.
For adults, specifically:
It's just that if someone on ADHD meds suffers sudden cardiac death, it gets blamed on the ADHD meds, when it probably wasn't related at all.
I believe there is a website that has "coffee shop noise" or something similar that you can listen to instead of music. From what I remember, it might have had light music, but mostly it was indistinct background chatter.
A quick search turned up Coffivity and this site, which seems to have a variety of environments.
Sometimes you just need to eliminate those steps by taking shortcuts.
Don’t wanna go to bed without brushing your teeth but can’t stand the thought of dirty teeth? Keep a package of Oral sponge swabs next to your bed so you can be at least 50% clean compared to 0%.
Don’t wanna do dishes? Get disposable cutlery/plates or Saran Wrap plates so dirty dishes don’t pile up and bring bugs.
I can’t even sit up when I wake up in the morning without my meds but how do I get my meds without being on my meds? I just taped my pill container to my headboard and keep a sports squeeze water bottle next to me in bed so I don’t even have to do that anymore.
I have also installed smart plugs and switches around my house that’s connected to my Alexa. That way if I’m comfy and clean in bed but don’t want to get up and turn off the lights, I can just tell Alexa to do it for me. It can seem materialistic and lazy to other people, but if it works and increases your quality of life? I see no problem in investing in these measures if you can afford it.
So, not really sure if I'm helping with links to organizational tools, or hurting impulse purchase resolutions...
I giveth, and I taketh away.
Yeah! It's called Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. It's one of the most helpful things I've read since being diagnosed a couple years ago. Really explains how executive dysfunction works, as well as a lot of other helpful info. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386/
I bought one of those pill-a-day calendar boxes cause I had anxiety about either taking a double dose, or missing a dose. On the weekends I put a pill in each box, then in the morning when I go to take my pill for work I just take whatever is there for that day. If it's empty I've already taken that days dose. It's helped me out a bunch and was fairly cheep.
Not the same, but similar to mine: Amazon link
I have a timer cap for my prescription bottle. Each time you take the lid off the bottle the timer resets so you know the last time you opened it. No more mystery. Doesn't help if I accidentally leave the house without taking my meds, but at least I don't take 2 by mistake.
I have this one: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00HJD7RGQ . One problem: The lid does not fit on the prescription bottle my pills come in. Solution: I transfer my pills to the bottle that came with the cap and carefully peel off the prescription label and stick it on the timer bottle (so I know when to call my doc for a refill and for legal reasons).
I see you really want to hate programming on your first go-around!
Consider starting with Python. It's a lot simpler, and you don't really have to mess with setting data types, finding a guide that doesn't look like Chinese, or worrying about installing a massive compiler and IDE that might require a license to use.
Also take a look at: http://www.codecademy.com/en/tracks/python
It's difficult in some places, but an answer is usually a few clicks away.
It's not for everyone, but it fits my work and lifestyle. The Columbia PFG Bahama II. Short and long sleeves. I live in the Southeast where it's quite hot and humid so this is the perfect shirt for being outside, plus it works for sitting here at my desk on work video calls. I'm wearing one right now.
It’s not an ADHD book but the book “Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life” has some useful stuff.
It has helped a lot with procrastination.
Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/194883653X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_SLedGbAVV8NEB
Yup, it's just a form of therapy that helps think us dialectically and improves social relationships. Not adhd specific, but it definitely helped me with the stuff that I developed over the years that my adhd didn't help. I didn't do it with a therapist, because of coronavirus but a therapist probs could teach you all of it in a few sessions. This was the book I bought:
DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572307811/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_a40eFbMF03PEF
That was me, before i installed a blue light filter on my phone.
That shit works wonders, it starts at 22:00 and stops at 6:00.
Now i naturally get tired and not hyperactive in the night, so i sleep like a baby.
Heres the one i installed and i'm very happy with (it's in german tho), but all of them in the app store should be fine!
get you some antiperspirant with Aluminum Chloride as the active ingredient. i'm about to get some right now here because your puny mortal antiperspirants do nothing for whatever lovecraftian horror sweat glands are in my pits, but anyone could use it.
the reason i bring this up is because 1: you do it before bed instead of in the morning, 2: after the first few days of using it you only have to use it once or twice a week. and 3: its basicly the strongest shit you can get without botoxing your armpits (seriously, thats a thing. for the "my pit stains are the size of small pizzas on a cold day" peeps)
also, you only have to wash your hair 2-3 times a week. on non hair washing days you can get away with a washcloth and soap. on my face i use non-soap body cleanser so i don't even have to rinse my face off.
Sometimes I invite people over just so my place will get clean... jk but also it's kinda true.
I throw this book out here on this sub constantly (still waiting for my kickbacks...) but Susan Pinsky's book for organizing with ADHD literally changed my life. I'm still a hot mess, but everything is easier to clean and keep organized. I started going crazy when I transitioned to working from home full time. I need a clean environment to work but everything in my nature works against that. Her book really seriously truly helped me get things to a better baseline.
I can't link for some reason in-text, but here's the amazon link https://www.amazon.com/Organizing-Solutions-People-Revised-Updated-ebook/dp/B007ETD7GO
Productivity Challenge Timer (iOS version). It has a retro Soviet aesthetic and you have to make worker-themed ranks, but you get demoted if you don't keep up your work levels. The break function is perfect for me. The paid version has been worth every penny for me, but the free one is still good, and I don't think it has ads.
that happened to me the other day. My new interest is using a tween knitting craft set to make scarfs and socks. This kind of kit: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B078HTYR55/ref=sspa_dk_detail_1?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B078HTYR55&pd_rd_wg=hpf5H&pd_rd_r=AVPTBCDDDASX91X4NFA3&pd_rd_w=stqN2
at the moment, I'm in 7th heaven over this. I hope this interest lasts longer than 3 weeks!
Seriously, try meditation. You can try smiling mind or download an app. The best I've found so far is MHK .
It works like fucking magic, man. It trains you to control your focus and makes you more aware of your surroundings. I've only been recently diagnosed with ADD so I'm not on medication yet but I've found nothing to be better than meditation. You have to do this regularly or the effect wears off.
I don't have the discipline to do this myself for even 10min-20min a day but oh well, you might do better than I so why not post it?
I know you asked for motivation but if you learn to control yourself better, a large motivation is not necessary.
Melatonin has been a lifesaver for me. I take 0.5mg in liquid form about an hour before bedtime. And I also use f.lux to filter out blue light on my computer screen to keep my melatonin levels from dropping at night. https://justgetflux.com/
Using both of these together, I'll feel so tired, that I'm forced to just stop what I'm doing and go to sleep. I also set an alarm to wake up at 6am every day, and as soon as I wake up I take my 10mg adderall, and within 10 or so minutes it starts to kick in, and it totally gets rid of that impossible to wake up / morning sickness feeling I'd normally have the entire morning.
Also timers, SOOOOO helpful. I have about 5 set on my phone so far. 6am=Wake/1st Adderall Dose, 7am=Eat Breakfast, 12pm=2nd Adderall Dose, 1pm=Eat Lunch, 10:30pm=Melatonin Dose/Sleep. I have a REALLY bad sense of time, and hours will fly by whenever I get hyperfocused on something, and I often forget to eat, or do the most basic and simple things. When the timer goes off it brings these things to the front of my attention making them easier to get done.
Just started doing all this last week, and so far my mood has been so much stable having getting a regular sleep schedule maintained. I just hope I can keep this up long enough for it to become habit! :D
Ublock Origin https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock#installation
"uBlock Origin is NOT an "ad blocker": it is a wide-spectrum blocker -- which happens to be able to function as a mere "ad blocker". The default behavior of uBlock Origin when newly installed is to block ads, trackers and malware sites -- through EasyList, EasyPrivacy, Peter Lowe’s ad/tracking/malware servers, various lists of malware sites, and uBlock Origin's own filter lists."
:)
If you have to use electronics toward the end of the day, I suggest checking out f.lux! In brief , the blue glow of most electronic devices resembles sunlight and stimulates wakefulness; in contrast to a warm orange/red glow.
https://www.bandlab.com/user7539169984420514/new-project-96a55149
Here's a rough Demo version :) The style is inspired by The Narcissist Cookbook, who is one of my favourite songwriters.
Also, it's still a rough draft, so hmu with any feedback!
If you're in the US there's a site called Nextdoor which is often recommended for finding lost pets.
I haven't used it myself (no pets), but when people put ads on Craigslist, they almost always get referred to Nextdoor and seem to get good results.
There's a book about this - eat that frog? A friend read it and told me about it years ago (never got around to reading it myself lol) https://www.amazon.com/Eat-That-Frog-Great-Procrastinating/dp/162656941X
'There’s an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is eat a live frog, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re done with the worst thing you’ll have to do all day. For Tracy, eating a frog is a metaphor for tackling your most challenging task—but also the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life.'
Along these lines, OP might find the book Mindfulness in Plain English worth checking out - a nuts and bolts introduction to a specific meditation practice, using focus on the breath. I am finding it enormously helpful.
Get a planner and start writing things down. Review it morning, afternoon, and night. I find if I do something like this, that even if I'm not truly trying my hardest to memorize it, it works subconsciously so that when my alarm goes off in the morning, I'm a little more apt to snap out of sleep - or that late at night if I can't really place what I was supposed to do, it may come to me.
Roommates? Dorm mates? Friends? Seek their help, find someone who needs to be up around the same time as you and just ask if they can call or knock to make sure you're up. Maybe look into some crowd-sourced alarm solution like this? - http://mashable.com/2014/09/05/wakie-alarm-clock-app/
I totally understand the digging yourself into a hole thing. There was a reason it took me 6.5 years to graduate from college. My biggest hurdle was saying things like, "I don't need to write this down, I got it" (No I didn't). Or, "I don't need to set more than 3 alarms, I'll wake up" (I didn't). Or, "I don't need to start on this assignment tonight, I'll do it tomorrow" (I ran out of time).
Don't be me - you can beat this. Don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to get help, and mitigate the issues before they come to a head by doing things like using planners, using post-it notes, or using smartphone/calendar reminders.
https://nextdoor.com/ is kind of what you would get if you kitbashed Reddit communities together with Craigslist, and then made entry into specific neighborhoods/"subreddits" in the site dependent upon your address, grouping you into a posting community with your nearby neighbors. Mine for instance in the near to downtown suburbs, groups me with people in about a 1.5 mile radius. In dense places like NYC, it can group people as tightly as 2 - 4 blocks at a time.
It's a platform highly effective at keeping a community repository of local information, and in more organized neighborhoods, people pass around and share things like tools, musical instruments, furniture, clothes, etc, and keep things within their communities in much the same way OP is talking about.
Another solution: timer caps for pill bottles that show how long its been since you past opened the bottle.
FUCKING LIFESAVER
I will reccomend these things till the day I die, get em for cheap on amazon
https://www.amazon.com/TimerCap-Automatically-Displays-Opened-Built/dp/B00HJD7RGQ
Just fyi, I found these some time ago when I had the same conflict about flossing vs environment. A little more expensive probably, but helps me feel less guilty
The Humble Co. Natural Dental Floss Picks (200 Count) - Vegan, Eco Friendly, Sustainable Dental Flossers and Zero Waste Plaque Remover for Oral Care with a Fresh Feel (Charcoal, Double Thread) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NSBLN5J/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_2X0B41TPP34K3QKXAXVD
Medication is the most effective tool for treating ADHD, for sure, but it's not the only thing you can do. Make sure you eat and drink enough through the day and get plenty of sleep. Figure out what coping mechanisms and lifestyle interventions work for you. Russell Barkley has written books full of evidence-based tools you can use: Taking Charge of ADHD (for parents) and Taking Charge of Adult ADHD (for adults with ADHD). You might find both of them useful. Organizing Solutions for People With ADHD might also be helpful.
Go offline- Do you need the computer to do this? Unplug you computer and put garbage bags over your monitor. Don't allow yourself to go on Reddit or anything enjoyable until it is done.
Create a reward - What is something you have been wanting to do for a while? Allow yourself to enjoy this after submitting the application.
Break it down - Submitting the application is a broad goal. What do you need to to first? Do you have the application? Have a stamp to mail it? Finishing the application obviously comes before submitting it.
Small steps - What about spend 10 minutes on the application today? What I have discovered with myself and my clients is when we procrastinate we avoid starting completely. If you spent 10 minutes, you might discover you actually need more information and be more prepared the next time. This is probably the best tip to break the lack of momentum. If 10 minutes seems like too much just say you will do it for 2 minutes.
Change is scary and this represents a big change in your life. You are encountering the resistance. The part of your lizard brain that does not like change. Check out this free Kindle book called The Flinch or The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield.
Once you do this you will feel great (well unless you judge yourself unmercifully). You can do this. Sit down right now. Go for it!
Great list, and I'll be checking out several of these but you forgot Clockwork Tomato! It's the best damn Pomodoro timer ever created. This app alone basically triples my productivity when I remember to use it. I hate the idea of timers and forcing myself to live by the bell, but I can't argue with the results. It's also great for laundry day, because I can set it to be the same duration as my drier's cycle ;)
Are you certain it's only when you take the Benedryl or are those the times you remember waking up? I ask this because my mother has sleep apnea and often had no recollection of waking up in the middle of the night from it before treatment. I encourage you to schedule a sleep study just in case if you can because sleep apnea can be very dangerous. https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-apnea/sleep-apnea-conditions#1
First, I love how you called it your ADHD tax..
Second, I totally understand how you feel. Two Sunday’s ago in fact something similar happened to me and I missed an important meeting.
For myself, I have the app if this than that (https://ifttt.com/discover) that you can set to do almost anything for you. It’s called, “If this, than that.” Pretty much, you can set it for things like, turn wifi off when leaving the house for me or for more important things. Also, if you have an iPhone, I found out that you can actually set reminders to go off at certain gps locations instead of just by time.
Hope these help! Just remember your not alone.
Find a podcast you like and ONLY listen to it while you’re doing dishes or other “must do” things.
Here’s a list of the top knitting podcasts for a place to start! https://player.fm/featured/knitting
> So now I have a "deal with this by the end of the month" folder, and an "everything else" folder. If I don't have time to file it correctly or deal with it, it goes in one of those two folders. Then I have a Google calendar notification that tells me to deal with my papers one week before the end of the month.
Two words: personal kanban.
To be fair, though, this is coming from somebody who just yesterday received a reminder in the mail that I hadn't filed monthly paperwork in two months, and if I don't do it soon, I'll get penalized. Thank goodness actually doing it (for both months!) only took 30 seconds.
I always sucked at memorizing stuff for school. I could understand the concepts easily enough, but having to recite poems by heart for literature class, was the bane of my existence. Same for years in history, location names in geography etc.
Some stuff that worked for me includes flash cards (try Anki) and in general trying to make a game of it. Maybe pretend I'm presenting it for someone or something like that. Grabbing a piece of paper and writing down as much as I can remember, and then "grading myself".
Do you work on Apple?
Get an app called FlowState
It makes you write first, edit later.
Just start putting down shitty sentences.
Rewrite them later.
Edit: or other platforms: https://alternativeto.net/software/flowstate/ Edit2: I'm writing my thesis atm (as evident by my sudden increase in Reddit use). I know what you mean about the crazy accumulation of research notes. Just get something on paper, put a tag on everything that needs referencing or looking up later.
Edited to add: OneTab does work wonders for this, though. It does what it says on the tin (reduces you to one tab), however, what I like about it is that it works per-window (so if you have a collection of pages you don't want to forget about, just split them off and hit OneTab, and now they're saved as a single window), and that you can take a collapsed window and share that specifically as a web page (for example, a window I restore while playing Breath of the Wild), which you can then bookmark for later.
ADHD and Webb developer here. Learning programming tech is hard for everyone because there are soo many micro topics that it because hard to know what to learn, in which order, or what type of programming you might be interested in.
My advice is that you sign up for an account at https://teamtreehouse.com/ because they have good learning paths set up with courses of 100's of hours. It will help you build a foundation and then it will be more easy to decide where to go next :)
I got one for $19.99. One for each of my kids.
Yunbaoit Visual Analog Timer,Countdown Clock,No Loud Ticking,Time Management Tool for Kids and Adults(Green) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07Q58H1DW/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_DFCZE1TA2NM0JFTY6S0S?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
The solution to your timer trick is this watch
I’ve been using it for a few months now and it’s definitely helping me be slightly more aware. You set a timer and then it will autorepeat indefinitely. The vibration is also strong so it’s pretty hard to not notice.
This book was recommended by my doctor who specializes in ADHD and has an ADHD child. He recommends it for parents (and kids when they grow up.) He (my doctor) just gets it, if you know what I mean. This book is practical and amazingly helpful. My doctor said it was the best book on ADHD.
Good luck and congratulations on your daughter's success! That is sincerely so awesome!!!!! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎈🎈🥳🥳
I used to struggle with that, but I've found a great solution. I found an app called Early Bird which has a lot of great features, including adding challenges to turning off an alarm. Every morning at 5:45, the alarm goes off. I have to complete 3 basic math problems (just simple addition/subtraction) then go to my bathroom to scan a QR code I have printed out and hanging on the wall. By that time, I'm already physically out of bed, my brain has done some work, and the bright light from the bathroom wakes me up the rest of the way.
The only way I screw it up is if I forget to charge my phone, unlock it after a restart, or if I start a short snooze timer for 10 minutes lol
Somebody on this subreddit mentioned a cap timer once and I swear it’s the best thing I’ve ever bought because I no longer have to play the “did I take my meds?” game. (Note: I still walk out the door at least once a week and realize I haven’t taken them. But I no longer have the double take anxiety!)
TimerCap Automatically Displays Time Since Last Opened - Built-in Stopwatch Smart Pill Bottle Cap Medication Reminder Case (Qty 2 - Standard 1.8 oz White Opaque Bottles) EZ -Twist/CRC https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EZ6TL2S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_i3DuFbD6ZADPZ
I'm terrible at staying awake in the morning and doing even half of what I need to do, so I've been working on a system to help me!
The key is using ALARMY to set multiple alarms, which are turned off only when I am where I need to be. plus you can disable app uninstall and powering off while the alarm's active!!! (android only)
Here's an overview of the system:
The get-out-of-bed alarm is more obnoxious, but I have set the routine-reminder alarms to be gentler sounding :) this was my first morning where I combined all of these and it went really well and I am happy :)
Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is an excellent book on this topic. Probably the best in terms of finding common ground and win win solutions.
Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" is another good one. But start with Carnegie's.
Another one to look at is Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"
That's like the holy trinity of getting your mind in a better place to negotiate instead of argue, create and kindle relationships, find the positive, understand where other people are coming from and using that to work together, etc
It's a self-perpetuating cycle :( If you're nervous, or feel judged, or just uncomfortable, people pick up on that. They may really want to talk to you, but don't know how to approach you or worried they'll make you even more nervous. I've noticed that people come talk to me way more often if I just make quick eye contact and smile. You don't have to be super outgoing, just look friendly and open to a conversation.
And then when they do talk to you, take some lessons from How To Win Friends and Influence People. Mainly: encourage people to talk about themselves, listen, be genuinely interested in what they're saying. You may not care about the topic they're talking about, but be happy knowing that you're making them happy by listening to something that most people wouldn't. Polite people will eventually start asking you questions back.
I have struggled with the same thing all my life so I can empathise.
Things that have helped me - no caffeine after 5pm and eating earlier.
Downloading Flux for my laptop - it explains it better than i can.
Not checking my phone once i'm in bed because if I do before I know it its been 2 hours and I'm at the bottom of an AskReddit thread.
I have to be honest and say the thing that's helped me the most is medication (concerta XL). I know lots of people struggle to sleep with them if they are the stimulant kind but I find it focuses my thoughts which were hyperactive at night - it sounds like what you're dealing with. Are you on medication at the moment?
One thing I find helpful is to wear a pair of Uvex SCT-Orange safety glasses. Those are what dentists use to protect themselves from the blue and ultraviolet light in their filling cure tools. There are lots of far more expensive products that are intended to do the same thing, but these safety glasses do a better job and are cheap as dirt.
Blue light is how your body determines whether it is day or night. Electronic screens like a laptop or phone emit a LOT of blue light due to the way they are color balanced. Wearing those an hour before bed helps me relax, because my brain has time to realize that no blue light = time to sleep. There is a program you can install on your computer called f.lux which tints you screen to accomplish the same thing.
Of course, being ADHD I am very very inconsistent in using these tools myself hah.... But at least I have them available!!
Check out mynoise.net. Someone else in this subreddit just mentioned it the other day, and it's SO good.
​
Also what the hell, man! Some people with ADHD HAVE to do two things at once to be able to do one thing at all.
My tips
Take notes by hand vs computer. You will remember them better. Also when your are done with classes for the day go back and re write your notes. This helps to convert it to Long term memory.
I find noise generators with headphones work amazingly well to nullify outside distractions. I cannot recommend mynoise enough for this.
Once you finish classes for the day head to the library, and get everything you can done there. That way you don't get distracted by things at home and don't get your work done.
I'm sure there's more but I'll come back to this later.
I was curious so I read this article and also found another related one: https://sci-hub.do/10.1592/phco.22.16.1405.33687 Here, they tested Adderall XR taken with food VS no food VS taken with applesauce. If you're interested in reading through the paper, the XR formulation is referred to as SLI381 and this particular comparison of food status is called "Study B" in the paper since they did a few different tests.
Summary of conclusions: After having eaten a high-fat meal, it took 2-3 hours longer for the medication to reach maximum concentration in the blood. They attribute this to how it takes longer for the meds to leave your stomach and get where it can actually work when there's food in the way.*
*I interpreted this from their phrasing: "These observations are consistent with work describing an increase in time for gastric emptying in the presence of food" but I'm a chemist, not a pharmacologist
Also, since applesauce is acidic, I don't really think the common saying that "acidic foods make meds less effective" is really true...
One of the tricks I've learned is that once you have a habit to do something every day, it's easier to add things onto it. I just keep tacking things onto my before-bed ritual, cause that's the only reliable thing I have.
You can also use habitica.com. If you can build a daily habit to check it every day, then you can add habits there and get a daily reminder to do them. Also, you'll 'die' and lose levels if you don't do your dailies. I also started using Complice.co for daily prioritiation and weekly/monthly reviews.
Don't try to add more than one habit at a time, and they need something like a month to fully harden. If you're really organized, pick a habit to build every month.
I highly suggest
1) removing all drinks but water, tea, no sugar coffee, and alcohol for fun of course.
2) Get a sonic care tooth brush. Not a $20 toothbrush but at least the $50 sonic care.
3) Use listerine and Colgate total
I do the above and even though I dont floss as much as I should (gums not as good as they can be), just brushing in the morning each day leaves me with the top 10% of clean teeth. Ive had 5 dentist in a row all comment that my teeth are surprising clean compared to most people. I know they aren’t lying cause they tell me my flossing is not exceptional, lol.
They make timer caps. It fits on your regular pill bottle and has an hour:minute count that tells you how long it's been since the bottle was last opened. Not helpful if you sometimes fidget with your bottle, but definitely helpful if you don't.
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00EZ6TL2S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_w4-UFbHTA97CZ
Your local drug store should have some, too. (Though they may charge more.)
Gotta recommend probably my favorite book for staying on track: Atomic Habits by James Clear. It goes over a lot of methods described here, as well as so many other useful strategies. The author really breaks down how good habits are formed and reinforced, but also how bad habits can be broken. 10/10 ADHD Recommend
+1 for Staedtler and Le Pen!
I also like the Japanese Frixion pens because they're erasable! They're not fine point, which stinks, but they're felt tip! I hate gel pens :/ The ink will also disappear if it gets too hot! So if you live in a very warm climate, they may not be for you. Haha.
Also, if you are feeling lucky and you search through the dirt cheap pen sets on Amazon, some of them turn out to be REALLY awesome. I've found a few of my favorite pen sets that! Definitely had my share of duds though...
I have this problem too. For the past two weeks, I've been carrying around a pocket-sized notebook and pen with me everywhere I go. As soon as something I think I need to remember pops into my head, I pull it out and jot it down. It has made a huge difference. My working memory may be completely garbage, but I can always rely on my written memory.
It took me a few days of trial and error with remembering to use it but after two weeks it's almost become second nature.
You can get a 5 pack for 10 bucks on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WKZ3Y88/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_GW77BbEJ65WBY
I agree with you. But having a stick over my head fills me with anxiety which causes me to procrastinate. So what I do is have a speaking alarm clock https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=wan.pclock which tackles my time blindness. The reminder of the passage of time without having completed the task is upsetting enough for me, without being overwhelming. It keeps me moving because it handles my time blindness.