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This might be a stretch as you've mentioned that you have difficulty with standing/being still and any amount of time. But I find mindful meditation to help out a lot. I use this APP;
I find it to be very helpful as it tries to find mediations based on the emotions that you're feeling in that moment. My favorite one is "Mindful Breathing" as it guides me (it doesn't play music and let you go, the tracks are tailored with various goals) and helps me, not stop, but curve my thought patterns until I fell calm (sometimes, for a few hours, other times, I get a better nights sleep). Eventually, you're able to identify various thought patterns and saw "You're unhelpful and go against me, go away"
Another thing I do is a breathing exercise that my psychologist taught me years ago. It's easy; Breath in for 4 counts, pause while holding your breath for 2 and exhaling for 6. 4-2-6. i tap out the time on my finger tips so if people see me doing that, all they see is a little quirk that doesn't bother anyone else.
Both methods aren't quick fixes, they are tools that you need to practice in order to reap the full results. I do mediation before I go to bed (I've falling asleep while doing that, that's normal) and I eventually had to by a thumb ring to wear and whenever I saw the ring, I had to do 10 rounds of the 4-2-6 counts.
I hope this helps!
I think what's great about meditation is there doesn't have to be a "right" way to do it. I typically close my eyes, am seated in a chair, do a 4 count inhale + 4 count exhale, and hold or touch an everyday object that I try to "explore" as much as possible, really trying to hone in on its characteristics that I normally just sort of brush over unconsciously (texture, shape, smell, etc). Figuring out what works for you can be difficult, so I recommend checking out this app or these exercises to get a better feel for things.
I really like this one called MyLife. The voices on the meditation are nice and most of them are free. I definitely find them very useful, especially for getting to sleep. I probably don't use them as regularly as I should, but I'd use them a few times a week
I also find noise maker apps great. This one is my favorite
Have you tried mindful mediation? When I was in therapy it really helped me "retrain" my brain to deal with the constant anxiety spirals, where you start one bad thought and that spawns two more and then you start thinking of every possible way all these different scenarios can go wrong. Mindfulness helps silence your thoughts and bring you back into the present and not dwell on stuff you can't change in that moment. It takes a lot of practice though. There's guided apps that really help also. If you start off with short sessions of 3ish minutes and then build up to longer ones it will help with panicky thoughts situations and also help with sleep if you do a session right before bed. This one is really good cause you can plug in your currents mood and it picks an applicable session, if you don't have android see whats available on youtub or iphone
I've been using this app to help whenever my anxiety has started creeping up.
It's pretty simple to use, you just punch in how you're feeling, and it gives you guided meditation suggestions (3 mins up to 15 mins) to help refocus and carry on with your day.
iPhone: Stop, Breathe & Think
Android: Stop, Breathe & Think
There is a lot of evidence:
You have to try it yourself and try a mindfulness guided meditation session. You will feel better afterwards, especially when you realize how thankful you should be and how lucky you are, we all need a little reminding. It's all subjective, if you refuse to believe it works then it won't work because you're not having faith.
Download this app and try it yourself, it's a free app:
Ignore that subscription. They added a lot of meditations and made them premium, but everything that used to be FREE is still FREE, plus some more free tracks!
Alternatively, I've heard good things about Buddhify. It's a €2.50-ish single purchase
Stop, breathe, and think is a nice app developed by UCLA Psychology. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.stopbreathethink.app&hl=en
You can fill out your mood and it will suggest a few guided meditations for you to follow. They also have a timer if you don't want a guided meditation.
It sounds to me like you discovered meditation on your own and used your nose as your object of focus. However, I would still suggest focusing on your breath (the area between your nose and mouth, or your stomach expanding and collapsing, or your chest moving up and down). It can help to set a consistent timer each day while you meditate (5 or 10 mins is all you need to start).
If you have a favorite movie(s) that always cheers you up, now's the time to pull 'em out!
Others have suggested physical activity, and this certainly helps some folks, so it's worth a try. While some prefer very kinetic stuff like running, others find relief from simple stretching and yoga. Deep breathing, no matter what you try, should help.
If foods/drinks have been soothing for you in the past, eat/drink to your heart's content. Put your diet aside for a few days, if you're on one. Two or three days of indulging isn't going to harm you. Just be sure to limit it to these few worst days. (THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE ALCOHOL. PLEASE DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL RIGHT NOW.)
Do you practice meditation? Mindfulness can help center us and calm us. A video with a simple 5-minute introduction is here. That's actually from an app I use, called Stop, Breathe, & Think. It's nice because it lets you input what emotions you are feeling, and it tries to find an appropriate collection of meditations for you to try that may help. It's very good if you're new to all this, and don't know what to try. I don't like ALL of the meditations offered, but I'm picky, and there's plenty of good there.
Some things that have helped me:
The pandemic has been really rough for me but doing some of the things have helped make it better. Good luck, you can do it💪
I can recommend "Stop, Breath and Think". The app was a great starting point for me.
The most meditations are available for free. You can use it without signing up or creating an account.
Web app: https://app.stopbreathethink.org
<strong>Stop Breathe & Think: Meditate</strong>
In my view your mental block is less because of your experiences and more because of your self-esteem issues. Many a time people don't realise the difference b/w modesty and low self-esteem. If you get a compliment and you say thank you in reply, it is modesty, if once in a while you reply to people close to yourself that it is not that of a big deal, it is modesty, but if almost every time you get a compliment and your natural reaction is to shrug it off, it is an issue of low self-esteem. Self-esteem is like some kind of inner energy, it is bad if it is low, it is bad if it is super high.
So we would need to work on that majorly and work on mental block and fixing it as a side issue(you can completely focus on your self-esteem and forget about mental block if you feel like it, since it is more or less a bad habit and it can be tackled really easily(in most cases).
For a fix of low self-esteem, what you are doing it is a good start, consciously make an effort to accept the compliment and saying thank you. Other than that I would say read How to win friends and Influence People by *Dale Carnegie*, this book is more of a workbook than a single sitting read. What low self-esteem does is that it make you not trust other people's intelligence("how can they fall for this simple trick that I used to solve this problem, it was so simple, they might be dumb", it might not sound like this in your head, but it is what it actually is) and this book teaches you how to give respect to other people (among many other things). Meditation also helps, try this app and choose your meditation based on your mood. Always remember that it is your self-esteem which would help you achieve things than the other way around that many think that if they would achieve something then they would have good self-esteem.
For your mental block, I would say set a time limit for your every choice, typically a day or two for things which are not that expensive or are absoulutely necessary and a week for things which requires you to plan a bit to buy. Having a deadline makes decision-making process easier. Also, be a bit informed on things that are necessary, like deo these days is not an accessory and are an absolute necessary if someone is a working professional, similarly there might be things which are not that necessary. This mental block to some extent is a result of your past experiences and the way to change it would be to experience the other side. Like you did with restaurants, when you started going out once in a while, you stopped feeling guilty about it. Same things would happen in other case of other things.
Short write-up on Self-esteem(Do not read it more than once, it is just theoretical and have no actionable plan to your specific cause) -
Many People who have low self-esteem think that it is something that they would have "earned" if they would have achieved something, which is a very wrong way of going about it. Self-esteem comes from a good understanding of your both your skills and flaws.
In case of people who appear to have a very high "self-esteem", It is mostly based on their skills and not recognising their flaws, which is why it is flawed. In case of people who appear to have low self-esteem, it is often based on just recognising their flaws but no skills or potential, which is also wrong.
People sometimes fail to recognise that self-esteem is intrinsic to a person, it is not based on outcomes of your previous or future actions. But it is the other way around, your self-esteem would likely dictate your future actions and also how you perceive your past results. So it is really important to have a good self-esteem in order to have a fulfilling life.
So in order to get to a healthy self-esteem, people who need to take a leap of faith and tell themselves every day that they have some value. People need to take fake it till you make it appraoch here.
Last but not the least, self-esteem=/self-confidence, self-esteem is an understanding that I am worth something, while self-confidence is the understanding that I can succeed, even if I have failed previously.
Guided Meditation ~
One of the few things that can really help me from the spiral of anxiety. The only thing you need to do is put some headphones in and lay down somewhere comfortable. This video helped me a lot. https://youtu.be/8_jcEpwKQXc You can check out their other ones as well, but if they aren't your style there are plenty of others on the internet.
You can always try the app called 'MyLife" I liked this one a lot for the start of my journey. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.stopbreathethink.app&hl=en_US
If you get real stuck, call a crisis line. I did so and they helped me through some things. I told them I wasn't suicidal but I was potentially going to relapse... which in my eyes would essentially be slow form suicide.
Hope those help.... You got this. <3
I've been using this recently and I love it. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.stopbreathethink.app
Stop, Breathe & Think https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.stopbreathethink.app
This is probably the best meditation app ever! Gorgeous design and very intuitive. I love it. <3
What is up with your partner that they say these things to you?!
Read your post + the comments. To better recognize emotions and prevent build up, try practicing with the MyLife app: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.stopbreathethink.app&hl=de&gl=US
It has a check-in process for emotions, and just selecting the emotions and seeing them on a screen helps a lot. You don't have to do the recommended meditations, just give yourself time to feel what your bodies goes through and the way your thoughts flow
Also check Elizas post for emotional neglect.
I also highly recommending the r/CPTSD_NSCommunity and r/CPTSDNextSteps
and if you have a tendency for anger r/CPTSDFightMode
You are doing fine.. seems like the people around you are giving off negative vibes, which then is affecting you. Keep shining and releasing POSITIVE vibes (vibrations) and don't let ANYONE take that from you. Once you understand the truth, nothing will make you unhappy because you understand the truth.
I very highly recommended that you look into meditation daily, and also consider hypnosis. I think people laugh at that idea and think it's fair but it changed my life and I listen to hypnosis everyday. Meditation and hypnosis are similar, they are both states of intense focus. You need to "quiet" your mind of negative thoughts and these things will help.
Try this guided meditation season and let me know if it works:
And after you're finished, try this hypnosis season:
I also recommended you download the following apps: Stop, Breathe, Think and also Wysa which both are free in the app store.
Stop, Breathe, & Think
Try using guided meditation. Morning, before sleep. For more search 'guided meditation' on youtube.
You can use these android apps too
Stop breathe and think: Meditate
That's exactly what I was going to say! I prefer guided meditation though - it's a bit more effective at keeping my mind from wandering. There's this fabulous free app that I totally recommend to everyone.
I drink kratom tea everyday.. several times a day. The first dose works well . It's the following doses that get weaker and didn't help with depression so much. Does it work everyday? Yes, but the effects are weaker and you don't really get as "high" as before due to daily use. The 3 strains I personally recommend for depression are Green Malay, Red Thai, and Green Bali. I don't think kratom is a long term fix for depression because of the tolerance buildup. However, it can most definitely help a lot in many situations. I've used kratom everyday for 3.5 years and still do. I can most definitely say however it's VERY effective for treating ANXIETY however, and it works every single time, no matter what.. you just don't get as high but the rest of the benefits are there still. I recommend Red Bali and Green Bali for anxiety.
Kratom helps to a certain extent, but it isn't the most effective for long term treatment. What helps for my depression is a variety of supplements and therapy:
I highly recommend you try 5-HTP and also L-Tryosine. Not all supplements are made the same.. some cheap supplements have side effects and don't work well. I personally take the Jarrow's brand from Amazon. Eversince I started taking Jarrow's 5-HTP, I haven't felt depressed eversince. 5-HTP helps with serotonin boost and L-Tryosine (I also recommend Jarrow's brand) helps with dopamine production which is the motivation/reward system in your brain.
Occasionally, I take Swanson's Saffron Extract.. it really does help and it puts you in a good mood and makes your head feel fuzzy and warm... though you can very quickly build tolerance.. so that's why you should only take it once in a while, preferably every 3 days or once a week. It's certainly not a placebo because it has a unique feel when you get "high" from it and your head sorta feels it and your mood changes for the better.
Ashwagandha Extract.. either the standardized KSM-66 OR the Sensoril. The Sensoril is a little bit more relaxing and the KSM-66 more energizing. It helped put me in a very good mood, back when I had a dark cloud over me. Again, tolerance can build up, so be aware of that. You can take it daily but the effects are very weak when you do. The feeling is nice, like you just feel great for no reason. It also has anti fatigue effects too.
What also really helped was hypnosis. It sounds crazy and you might be skeptical, but it actually works. Both guided meditation and hypnosis helped me with depression many times.. especially with the OCD overthinking and negative thoughts hypnosis. I recommend you look up Michael Sealey on YouTube and try his hypnosis videos tonight.
If you have time tonight, you should try this hypnosis session on negative thinking (depression) and let me know if it works. Your subconscious mind is very powerful, especially when listening to suggestions.. that's what hypnosis is. I listen to hypnosis every night and it has helped me greatly and is one of the most effective methods, mostly because you cannot build a "tolerance" to hypnosis unlike supplements and it works every time. It's best to listen to it alone, with headphones on, and before you fall asleep.
Clear Negativity (Hypnosis for Clearing Subconscious Negativity)
by Michael Sealey:
I highly suggest you also download this guided meditation app too, it's free. It's called "Stop, Breathe, Think" it's really great and helps you control your feelings and thoughts.. and also introduces you to meditation:
And also download this app called "Wysa", it's a free anonymous chat and mood tracker.. you chat with a bot who helps identify your depression and also steps you can take to overcome it and feel better:
Don't give up the fight, many people deal with depression and you are not the only one in this battle. You will overcome it.. you are very much needed in this world and you have a purpose. I hope these tips and suggestions help you, I've been battling with mild depression for a long time and I've beat it, though it comes back sometimes, and that's ok.
Save this number down and call it if it's an emergency, it's the hotline and it is available 24/7, free and confidential:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Available 24 hours everyday