What are /r/AgingParents' favorite Products & Services?

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Update: It's OP here. Surprised by all the enthusiasm! If you'd like to share your story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs, let us know here.

I use these diapers for my mom. I also buy the booster pads that go with them for when she needs extra absorbency. My mom likes these because they are snugger through the legs then other brands, which helps hold in the leaks.

Just learned about these:

Handheld Bidet Sprayer for Toilet-Adjustable Water Pressure Control with Bidet Hose for Feminine Wash, Stainless Steel Brushed Nickel Cloth Diaper Bidet Toilet Sprayer for Baby Wash https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086W1YZSH/ref=cm_sw_r_u_apa_glt_fabc_1XKYDA471G3QSX3C89BK

Just a thought. The logistics may not be feasible for her.

Thank you for the award, kind stranger! It's my first award, I think! And it's so appreciated. If you're up for sharing your caregiving story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs (!), do let us know here.

Have her physician evaluate her for orthostatic hypotension and postprandial hypotension.

This happened once with my grandfather.

I went into the kitchen and found a pot of oatmeal on the stove, burning.

He had been cooking oatmeal, forgotten it, burned it, filled the pot up and put it back on the stove with water to try to clean it and forgotten it again.

Plumber came a few days later and installed a gas valve on the stove, which I put one of these on and now the stove is "broken" and he uses the microwave or the toaster.

Another idea might be going hands free with something like Google Assistant, Siri or Alexa. Pro: Hands free so no buttons to find or push, and is certainly very loud if you use the hockey-puck devices.
https://support.google.com/assistant/answer/11273410?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform%3DAndroid

What we did for mom was similar to this https://www.amazon.com/Big-Button-Phone-Seniors-Telephone/dp/B0922TL5LK?th=1 but I will warn you, expect a lot more calls when you're a push button away. In Amazon, I put in "big button phones for seniors".

Please make a post with what you decide to do.

Hey, I'm in a very similar situation but unfortunately I'm just figuring it out too. I did get and have started reading Digging Out so I can hopefully better understand why the hoarding is happening, what might be a realistic way to approach it, and how to manage expectations. This is more of a manageable condition rather than a curable one, unfortunately.

One thing I will say is that my Mom was able to do telehealth therapy sessions from her rural GP's office - they have a room and set it up for you since many clients can't do this in their homes. Look into that with his provider or other local providers that take his insurance maybe?

Otherwise, good luck. I'm struggling to convince my Dad to do therapy as it's 200% what he needs right now.

You cannot force someone to make good decisions unfortunately. A family member would need power of attorney and for her to be declared incapable to really successfuly take over her finances I'd think.

Helping a hoarder change is extremely difficult and will only maybe possibly work, with a ton of setbacks, broken promises, and incredibly difficult times - in the best case.

Digging Out is a helpful book to read on how to help a family member who hoards. Keep in mind hoarding isn't really "curable" and can only improve with the cooperation and willingness of the hoarder.

Many years ago I read Back Off!, by Benjamin Dover, about how to stop harassment by collection agencies and settle a credit card debt. I owed tons of interest but settled with them for pennies on the dollar. Ruined my credit for seven years but I didn't need it. The peace I got by settling my debt was worth it.

Yes, definitely make sure she gets her ears checked. Go with her. Have yours checked too if you think it will help. Meanwhile, these are lifesaving.

Stander Pole (pressures against floor and ceiling would allow her to get some leverage. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B000OR3SYE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

You can get baby proofing cord locks which prevent her from.unplugging them. They work until abd unless she breaks the locks. Sigh. https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Block-Universal-Power-Outlet/dp/B07B2N4HGM/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?crid=WVZIOMDO8Y0U&keywords=childproof+plug+stay+plugged+in&qid=1667906608&sprefix=childproof+plug+stay+plugged+in%2Caps%2C136&sr=8-6

Hi there, this is what I use, got it from Amazon. Basically, you get two sensor pads (one big one for the bed, and a smaller one for a chair/loveseat). You set one on his bed (under the mattress cover) and another on his favorite chair. Once you turn the receiver box to "chime", either pad is activated as soon as it feels weight on it (your grandfather's body). Once either pad no longer feels the weight, it sends a wireless signal to the box which rings. So you can have the box with you on one side of the house. So far, it hasn't failed me yet. Keep in mind, because of all the weight being put on it, the manufacturer says they expire after 1 year. Let me know if you have any other questions. This device has saved our bacon multiple times a night.

Smart Caregiver Wireless Alarm with Bed Sensor Pad and Chair Sensor Pad- No Alarm in Resident’s Room!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004VS341O?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details

On the bathing—my mom is disabled and has trouble sitting in the shower. She uses these wipes, which don’t need to be rinsed. You just towel dry.

You don't need to explain it to anyone. Whenever your gut says you're not safe, then pay attention and move out of danger.

If you haven't yet read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker, I highly recommend it. https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0316235024.

Does she expect you to participate in the conversation? If she's just ruminating, I'd consider trying these.

If he uses a landline, you can install a device from Classco to filter the ringing by incoming callerID. Make sure you add his doctors' numbers to the whitelist (the calls that are allowed), so they can remind him of appointments.

With my mother I had to do something more radical: I installed an Amazon Echo in her room which would auto-answer when I called. Then I set up Call Forwarding on her phone, to redirect every call to my phone. Very few calls were legitimate. Sometimes I got a call from her doctor's office reminding her of an upcoming appointment. On the Echo, I could set an alarm that would wake her up in time and display a message. And I made a big poster for her to read just 4 commands like "what's on my calendar this week?" and "call benri on cellphone"

Would something like a stripper pole work to grab onto? For elderly folks' mobility, they sell something like it, but with a handle:

https://www.amazon.com/Able-Life-Universal-Floor-Ceiling/dp/B00N1GQXII

iirc, the one we owned had a base about a foot in diameter. to tighten it properly, i used a pipe wrench.

Our cats used to drive us crazy begging for food. Then I discovered this automatic feeder that has a “slow feed” mode and splitter for two bowls. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B08ZQXRCCH/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1 it’s a bit of a PIA to program, but maybe you could program and then tell Dad that the cats have exactly the correct amount of food. We feed a very low cal food (Purina Beyond Indoor) and adjust the “food dose” to keep both at healthy weight with room for occasional treats. Our feeder is entertaining to guests…might entertain Dad.

If indeed the plastic sheet is the problem, I purchased these two items, and they're working out well. There are other brands; I'm not endorsing these over other options, but they each had the pricepoint and features that best seemed to meet my needs.

Full Bed Size Waterproof Mattress... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0822WLQ68

Coop Home Goods Pad for... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075NSZLMC

I'm in Canada, so this is the Canadian link, but I got this pill dispenser for my mom last October and it has been a life saver.

LiveFine 28-Day Automatic Pill Dispenser

My mom has dementia and was increasingly challenged with the blister packs and other ways they were packaging the medication. She had a hard time deciding what to take or missing doses.

She has to take meds two times a day, and so we (me or another family member) fill the dispenser every two weeks. Her device uses two alarms, morning and evening. (You can set up to 8, I think). The thing goes off and she just dumps the pills into her hand, and the alarm goes off. Easy.

The only thing to caution is that sometimes a pill from the next slot can slip out a little crack near the opening, but it hasn't happened a lot.

Maybe something like this.

Plug it into a GSM to PSTN converter and use something like a PureTalk SIM ($20/month).

Scooters may also be hard for him to manuver. I bought mom this and she loves it. a single joystick that makes this an electric wheelchair. the price was reasonable.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B082NYHJ76/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Medicare only pays for the lowest common denominator in terms of mobility devices. And you must use their listed providers. And you can only have medicare pay for one mobility device so if he was given a wheelchair from a hospital or rehab, that's the one they probably paid for.

My mom is in an assisted living facility. They don't allow the big bulky electronic wheelchairs, but they allow this one because there's not much to bump into the walls with. It has been a godsend for her. It folds up too, although it's heavy to lift into a car.

Make sure you have these things taken care of for yourself as well, so that your siblings or children don’t have to go through it all over again.

https://www.amazon.com/Case-You-Get-Hit-Bus/dp/1523510471

And if you have a lot of tech in your life, https://github.com/potatoqualitee/eol-dr (I wish I could find the corresponding reddit post)

I totally get it but there are alllll sorts of sweets that are good for diabetics.

Here's an article with some interesting information: Candies for Diabetics

Also, there are certain salt substitutes that you might want to consider like 0% sodium herbamare.

Worth a try to see if they will work. And for the salt you don't even have to tell him its a substitute just put it in a regular salt shaker and there you go.

they make those electrical outlet adapter things (can't remember what they used to be called, and I am sure there are cheaper options than this, but these things: https://www.amazon.com/RCA-RC926-Wireless-Phone-Jack/dp/B00000J08Q )

Amazon has this device that might help. https://www.amazon.com/Withings-BPM-Connect-Pressure-Monitor/dp/B07SJV1HNR?th=1

I see that it works on Wi-Fi, but I don't know if the phone and the device have to be on the same Wi-Fi network, or if it would update to your phone across the Internet.

Also, for a family intercom in different homes, check out Amazon's echo dot. Put one in each home and it could be a voice activated intercom. Yesterday I also posted about an inexpensive emergency button system. The operator could call you or call 911 as needed. https://old.reddit.com/r/AgingParents/comments/uylw2k/emergency_push_button_alert_with_fall_detection/

Look for velcro slippers. I found these on Amazon She can genly wrap the shoe around her foot.

I just stumbled on this gadget and thought of you:

https://www.amazon.com/Broadlink-RM-Mini3-Universal-Controller-Compatible/dp/B01FK2SDOC

You should, theoretically, be able to get it to work with a dumb TV and send remote control signals to it on a schedule. What that means is that bad things might happen if someone turns it on or off by hand, but it has a chance.

Something like this would work. As soon as there is even slightest pressure the alarm sounds.

Note, for patients with poor eyesight the may next to the bed can actually look like a hole in the ground so would recommend only putting it down after they are settled in bed. I’ve had patients try and step over the “hole” while moving around in the room and fall.

Smart Caregiver Cordless Monitor with Cordless 24in x 36in Gray Floor Mat - Get to Them so They Don't Walk Alone! https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07N6PY941/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_MM1E4QG54ZCEV9ZNKZMZ?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

There are no-rinse shampoo caps also. Your mother also needs to understand that being unbathed is going to affect her psychologically also. If she can get at least a little clean with sponge baths and wipes, she should start to feel somewhat better.

you're not a bad daughter and she's not a bad mother. she's just afraid.

you may have to bribe her with something she likes to get the hair clean. Once you get to a certain point, it's hard to return to normal and that's where she is. If it's warm and you have a backyard, you could make it fun and put a towel around, get a bath wheel chair like this one and hose her down. I got this one for my mom:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MQJD9S9?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_NDP5ET1NMTPZN9YGNT3Z

And it so comfortable and easy to use and scrub her down.

Just keep pushing as much as you can, assuring her how much better she will feel. You can do it!

No-rinse shampoo caps exist, and they can be microwaved to be warm and pleasant, like this:

https://www.amazon.com/No-Rinse-Shampoo-Cap-5-Pack/dp/B009I12STI/ref=sr_1_7?crid=13E68P6GJQTD4&keywords=Shampoo+cap&qid=1651170843&s=hpc&sprefix=shampoo+cap%2Chpc%2C138&sr=1-7

No-rinse body cleansers also exist for the bedbound, and they also have warmers for baby wipe-type cloths.

Doesn’t sound like your mom is disabled, so somehow getting her in the bath/ shower would be a far better solution, but thought “last resort” type measures might help.

I'd skip the walker and go straight to an electric scooter wheelchair.

Walkers don't really help with falling. So he falls and he's holding onto the handles...he still falls if his legs/knees give out. And the walker goes with him. This wheelchair changed mom's perception about walkers. It's easy to use, simple to get into. Can be used as kind of a walker and can be used as a wheelchair if you want to push him. It's super fun.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B082NYHJ76/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's kinda expensive, but definitely worth it to protect him from falling.

As far as walkers, you could get the ones where you can replace the wheels with sliders. Or you can get rollators. But again, you fall, you fall. A walker isn't going to help much.

What about a condom cath at night? You roll it on like a condom and it drains your pee to a bag so you aren’t wetting your underwear and you don’t have to get up. condom cath kit Amazon

My mother has a lot of problems in terms of walking/moving around and really liked these shoes I got her.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OB1SI76?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2_dt_b_product_details

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They offer stability and are easy to open and close.

I got these for my mom when she was in assisted living. MANY compliments from people there at the time.

They're easy to put on and take off, but they don't fall off easily by themselves. And MANY colors.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B088NK98K5/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Hello,

Is your mom committed to cable TV? If not, I highly recommend getting a smart TV with Roku operating system. The home screen clearly lays out the inputs and apps in one location under the Home button. And unlike Apply TV or Amazon TV streaming boxes, the ads are minimal and don't push as much paid content. (for now, I hear they are getting into content creation)

You don't have to, but if you switch her from cable to over-the-air, then she will only need one, simple remote. Even if you add a soundbar, you can still use the Roku remote.

In the past, I wouldn't rely on a smart TV/box to have continued support, but the Roku OS is updated just like its devices.

I help out both sets of parents and an elderly neighbor and they all have trouble with multiple remotes. I tried making guides and labeling the remotes for my parents. Still didn't help (they call Cable TV, "TV", so labeling the remotes only confused them more)

I'd love to incorporate something like that. One thought I had is that by making the videos warm and comfortable, I could help a little with caregiver isolation to start.

If you'd like to share your story (including by using a pseudonym) in a short phone conversation with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs, let us know here.

Love it. If you'd like to share your story (including by using a pseudonym) in a short phone conversation with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs, let us know here.

I love this comment so much. Thank you for it. These are exactly the right kinds of topics framed in exactly the right kinds of ways.

If you're up for sharing your caregiving story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs (!), send me a message or let us know here.

And to answer your question: A gerontologist is like a primary care doctor who works only with older adults, and you can absolutely proactively share information with his doctor, whether or not he's a gerontologist. You may have heard of a law called HIPAA, but that only covers what a doctor can tell you – not what you can tell a doctor. I've had success faxing, emailing, or hand-delivering a short, bullet-pointed list that can be slipped into my mom's file and skimmed by the doctor ahead of an appointment.

That's very kind of you. I admire you, too! And I'm so sorry about your mom's mobility limitations. It's all hard in its own way, I think. If you're up for sharing your caregiving story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs (!), do let us know here. I'd love to understand what it's been like for you.

I'm so glad you found that class, but I can imagine how it's much more narrow than it needs to be – and I'm so sorry about your mom's illness. If you're up for sharing your caregiving story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs (!), do let us know here.

Thank you. I can't agree more with all of this. If you're up for sharing your caregiving story with me and my friend Jane, who's going to help me figure out if this idea has legs (!), do let us know here.

I got these for my mom--Pillow Sandals Shower Sandal Slippers Quick Drying Bathroom (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B088NK98K5/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

Lots of colors and sizes. She had really wide feet and edema. I searched and searched for shoes that were easy on/off but wouldn't fall off on their own. At her assisted living, she got A LOT of compliments on the colors and people wanted them or wanted them for their parents.

And that they were non-slip, shower safe, etc etc. Just a good idea.

You're looking for something quite common for deaf and hard of hearing individuals.

Something like this could do the trick: amazon.com/Telephone-Ringer-Amplifier-Connected-Essentials/dp/B00B72D3Q8/ref=psdc_5728050011_t2_B00DOAHD80

Of course you'd need to do a little sleuthing to see which of the many types out there do exactly all the things you want but this is a start point.

https://www.amazon.com/Flipper-Big-Button-Remote-Seniors/dp/B002GR1YZ0

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This worked really well for my mom. Game changer.

CPR V5000 Call Blocker

you could look into an assistive communication device. https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Talker-Too/dp/B08DQFCYGY/ref=sr_1_15_sspa?crid=1F92LQP0AIS1W&dchild=1&keywords=assistive+communication&qid=1633209587&rnid=2941120011&s=hpc&sprefix=assistive+comm%2Caps%2C208&sr=1-15-spons&am...

Ekouaer Zipper Front Housecoat Short Sleeve & Half Sleeve Zip Nightgown Long Houedress with Pockets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08M34SLZR/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_F18MDT75BTNWC6PVTX6N?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I'm 5' and have one of these and it's not a tripping Hazzard. I'm pregnant and just heavier then your mom even when not so I'm not sure how the small would be on her frame but it's been great to easily throw on and it has pockets.

The disposable chuck pads (pee pads) are wonderful! We also have a much larger, washable pad that goes under the disposable ones. Plus the mattress has a plastic cover, similar to what you'd use for toddlers who wet the bed.

We started using incontinence diapers once the messes became too frequent for the hassle of changing pull-up incontinence underwear -- we've used the diapers on both my Dad and sister (Azlheimer's).

Also, the adult-sized wipes have been immensely helpful for cleaning up the mess. Just remember to throw them in the trash instead of flushing down the toilet! As for the stink of the wipes and diapers, we use Febreeze scented/odor blocking trash bags.

Portable commode? Adult diapers? Baby wipes (don’t flush those).

There are some overnight potty training tricks for toddlers that might be useful. For example do multiple layers on the bed: waterproof mattress cover, absorbent pads, fitted sheet, absorption pads, and fitted sheet. That way if there’s an accident in the middle of the night, you don’t have to put on another fitted sheet since it’s already underneath.

Also get a good enzyme-based stain remover so that it breaks down the poop from clothing/sheets. I really like Puracy (link below). I don’t think you need special laundry detergent like for cloth diapers if you use an enzyme-based stain remover.

https://www.amazon.com/Puracy-Natural-Laundry-Remover-Eliminator/dp/B019WU6NTK/ref=sxts_rp_s2_0?adgrpid=55888557597&cv_ct_cx=puracy+stain+remover&dchild=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw7MGJBhD-ARIsAMZ0eesUYx2O3B8gKdPiNAW5EA_JbB9WpMWLi5obza2HgM8U4dmu1J...

Check with her local Council on Aging. Many times they can get you access to used medical equipment (I'm thinking of a lift https://www.amazon.com/Invacare-NCB-STDPROD-1242-KIT-Personal-Hydraulic-Patient/dp/B075H72K1H/ref=sr\_1\_1\_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=medical+lift&qid=1629350619&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExRVdKMEgyTUs2Q01K...). You also might try a be wedge pillow so she can sit a bit more upright.

I agree with the others' idea of books on tape -- or Audible -- and maybe introduce her to podcasts? There seems to be a podcast for everyone's taste!

Zinus, Walmart, and Mattress Firm sell folding metal bed frames, or get it on Amazon. You can get relatively inexpensive foam mattresses to put on top, and as a bonus you can store stuff underneath! This is the kind of bed I sleep on and it's extremely comfy and sturdy, plus easy to break down and move. Make sure to get those non-slip liner or pad (what you would put under an area rug) to put under the mattress so it doesn't slide around on the frame. It might be unethical to suggest returning the mattress within the 365-day window so I'm not going to do that, but you could sell the mattress to another individual who isn't willing to pay full price for one, if it is legal in your state to do so.

we have on of these toilets

https://www.americanstandard-us.com/innovations/activate-touchless-flush-technology

and ran across this as well

https://www.amazon.com/Touchless-Adjustable-Automatic-Powered-Batteries/dp/B01DO7ABHW

My 82-year old mom is a fan of these. The nuts & cone might be an issue for him...so maybe ice cream sandwiches? Lots of yummy frozen treats in individual wrappers.

Instead of a case you might want to get a phone grip like this.

For the chair, you might want to get a travel wheel chair. They start off at about $70, wheels lock for stability, and there's a good chance you may need a wheel chair in the future. We got ours from Walgreens.

Would this work? https://www.loc.gov/programs/national-library-service-for-the-blind-and-print-disabled/about-this-service/?loclr=loc-ppc_s=google_c=blind-new_ag=bmm_kw=books-blind

My mom who has a slight tremor has the larger Kindle as she has low vision so she can get the print to super large. I bought her this stand for it https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076HJVSC3?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share and it works great tor her. That way the tremor is only caused by the pressing finger not the hand holding the tablet.

I'm not sure how the listening to audiobooks is on the Kindle. I have my mom set up with a few podcasts using Podcast Addict.

You can set up the google play store on the kindle. It's a process but I've set it up on all my kindles.

For music, MP3 player It only plays on “shuffle” so won’t work for books. Got one for dad who has difficulty working electronics since his stroke. I preloaded it with 600 or so mp3s. It couldn’t be any simpler for the user after that. It will also take a usb drive, which overrides the internal files when inserted, so I could, for instance, put a new album on a flash drive and play just that (still only on shuffle though)

I’m thinking about it now with books. Maybe if you could get a book where the entire book was recorded on the file as one single chapter without a break, and put it on a flash drive, that might work. Otherwise, with the shuffle only feature, it would shuffle the chapters around. I wish I would’ve thought of this sooner. I wonder if I can turn a multi chapter Audio book into a single file? Hmmmm...

Anyway, it’s great for music if you can manage to preload it with a whole bunch of music she likes. Years ago when I moved to another state Dad used to burn me CDs of music he really liked or discovered (often “mix tapes”), and mail them to me. So I have a huge stack of homemade cds of music that I know he already likes/loves. I loaded them all to this device and voila, dad has his own personalized radio “station”.

On mobile, not my best grammar, but hoping the explanation is clear. As an overall general recommendation, though my dad does not have any dementia, his stroke really messed up his ability to do a number of things, and I’m finding there’s many products for either dementia patients or handicapped people that work quite well for him even if he’s not the target audience. Good luck!

I have trouble holding my Kindle and iPad. This is a life saver. It sits in your lap, or on your chest or tummy if you are reclined. It’s hands free, and there is a storage pocket on the side to hold reading glasses or remote.

https://www.amazon.com/Flippy-Multi-Angle-eReaders-Smartphones-Magazines/dp/B0859MCXZS

This has worked perfectly for my mom. It holds the bigger Kindle tablet. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076HJVSC3?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share. I have one for my bed and exercise bike. I treid the gooseneck and it was very hard to adjust.

Yeah I hear you about the torrent of money and questionable amount of care or attention that patients seem to get sometimes. The people at her current rehab facility are working hard but they are understaffed, so sometimes my mom can get stuck in a painful position for multiple hours.

The suggestion for the echo and clock is perfect, as well. I was looking into this projection clock as an alternative since I own one at home, and it shines the time on the ceiling, but she really needs something that says "afternoon, night" etc. like your suggestion does. Also I was trying to figure out a way to initiate video calls from my end - like perhaps remote controlling her phone (with mom's consent) but the echo seems like an even better alternative. Hopefully I can get it set up, but I may just turn down a nursing facility that would totally prevent any interaction at all.

None of the off-the-shelf devices I could find work with gas stoves (or didn't work the way I wanted and were very expensive).

I had a plumber install a valve on the gas feed leading to the stove then had one of these installed.

Depends on your technical abilities but you could combine this with a motion sensor to turn off if no motion for X, we simply setup things so it would turn off after 4 hours and require a button push (on our phones) to turn on, but, our goal was to remove access entirely.

I bought this one for my mom https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F66547C?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share. She almost 6 feet and she finds it very comfortable. It is height adjustable and very easy to put together. The seat is not very comfortable, but the srap across the bach is niceas you can lean agaisnt it. It's easy to fold up.

I bought this bed railing for my mom as she was having issues getting out of bed - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY9YXRQ?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share. It seems to be working for her. It might give him some thing to hold on to . It has a long insort that goes under the matress.

Here ya go!

Vive Grab Bar - Suction Shower Handle - Bathroom Balance Bar - Safety Hand Rail Support for Tub, Handicap, Elderly, Injury, Kid, Senior Assist Bath Handle, Non Skid - Portable Over Bathtub Cup (16") https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G48KSLC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_4p1MFbCGX72BX?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I have one of these on my tub for my mom. But you need the tub.

https://www.amazon.com/Medical-Adjustable-Bathtub-Safety-Shower/dp/B07XSF5NR3/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=tub+grab+bar&qid=1603892088&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExRjNZVkpVRE1BUjk5JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUE...

There are apps that record snoring. You just need to set the app up and put it near the bed at nighttime.

Android Track your sleep, wake up gently and refreshed in optimal sleep phase. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.urbandroid.sleep

I *think* this is the one my family member got, and it's awesome! Easy to assemble (as long as you remember to take the control out of the base first) and it reclines flat enough to sleep on. Also, as long as you get the correct model, the back and the footrest operate independently, so you don't automatically have to recline when you put your feet up. Be sure to check on that, because some of the models on the same page don't work that way.

https://www.amazon.com/Irene-House-Electric-Recliner-Comfortable/dp/B07W5G1F57/ref=sr_1_3?th=1

Have you tried an under pad? They are meant for peeing on, but liquid is liquid. North Shore has a 36x60. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KP8Q4GK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_NFRvFbB1Q6J3F

They are machine washable, and can take a beating. They are designed for hospital use.

UPS can last a long time. Jackery Portable Power Station Explorer 240, 240Wh Backup Lithium Battery, 110V/200W Pure Sine Wave AC Outlet, Solar Generator (Solar Panel Optional) for Outdoors Camping Travel Hunting Emergency https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D29QNMJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_nYzkFbDXWN2MZ

There are adaptive utensils for people with tremors. There are different ones if you search amazon. This is an example of one. Not sure if that would be useful for you, but fyi.

Yes! It's been amazing, truly. We got one from Amazon that was under $60 and my elderly parent actually has said they like it!

https://www.amazon.com/VitaWorks-Automatic-Pill-Dispenser-Medication/dp/B07RY3WVLG

I've no answer for the cane issue.

However, it is very likely he will fall and sustain some injury that requires hospitalization, then rehab, then they won't let him live alone.

Hopefully you have a plan in place. Either pay someone to come out daily and tend to him - he won't be able to cook on his own forever, and will need help with housework, perhaps medicines on a daily basis, etc.

Or, have a plan for some assisted living home.

It's a dream, a fantasy, to believe a person can live the last few years of life in the home that worked for them for decades. A total fantasy.

It used to be people died in their 60s and 70s. Now, however, modern medicine can keep people alive into their 100s. You need a plan for the next 15 years in place.

Good luck.

Consider reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande.

And, good luck.

I hear you and my heart goes out to you, to all of us.

Read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande before offering to move anyone in. It's not just having another housemate. As people age, especially beyond 80, they regress in ways that aren't obvious until difficult decisions need to be made. So, Nana is cooperative and kind from a distance, but move her in and your life with your SO and family will suffer.

I love my mom, and she's easy going, but if she lived with us it would be very difficult for my husband to unwind at the end of his day and talk openly. Conversation would be rather superficial when not in the privacy of our bedroom.

Again, read that book, your public library probably has it, and good luck. I would like to hear how it goes if you have time (I know it's in the future).