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its really tough but know it gets better. browsing the exnocontact subreddit in moments of weakness helps. making new goals helps. crying helps. this book helps (she has a youtube too). posting here helps. exercise helps (especially rigorous cardio/hiit type stuff). it's just a bunch of a little things that come together day by day as you get through it, which you will. there is also an app called 'i am' that is affirmations (this is on ios not sure about android) and there is a selection called 'heartbroken' and it will send affirmation notifications to your phone regarding breakups and healing i've found it to be soothing. hang in there <3

I'm dealing with it right now too, and I've dealt with it before so I know how it works. It really just takes time. It stings a little less each day. Even though there are moments of overwhelming feelings that may even feel more intense than before, the overall average is lower over time. If you can look back to when you first blocked him to now you can see it's already gotten better, and it will keep getting better. Then one day you wake up and you realize you haven't thought of him for a while and you won't realize when it happened it just.. did. And maybe every once in a while you'll get a sting from a painful memory but it won't consume you.

Also taking breaks is good but at the same time we need to feeling our feelings to get through them. So know that it's normal to feel intense anger, sadness, and everything in between because repressing them makes the healing process go on longer. It is 'work' like anything else but this work takes place in the emotional sphere. It's intense so self care is really important. I've used the book Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You multiple times for multiple breakups lol and it is the only one of it's type that actually works because it really gets down to the nitty gritty. It's not easy but it's real change. She also has a Youtube channel (I put the vids oldest to newest because her older ones go through more of the book stuff in the beginning) but if you can get the book too that is better because it goes through things in a really methodical way.

Absolutely do not go to therapy with him. Actually, Lundy Bancroft says even if he goes to therapy alone, he is unlikely to change. Men like that don't need therapy. Men like that act the way they do because they genuinely think women are less than them and they are owed a woman to order around.

Almost every single abuser in history is also nice and appears loving at other times. Most of them are well-liked by everyone in their community.

You need to read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&amp;keywords=why+does+he+do+that&amp;qid=1617650474&amp;sr=8-1