If you have trouble with therapy/therapists, it might be worth trying to do some therapy things on your own. I haven't done this, but I've seen people recommend the book by Daniel Fox, The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook. His youtube videos might also be helpful cause he really wants knows what he's talking about and he's very empathetic. There are also DBT workbooks that people have recommended on r/BorderlinePDisorder but I don't remember which ones.
Don't tell anyone about your problems, try to act, simply use these journals to analyze the behavior of the other partner.
A helpful recovery journal. DBT Therapy
I also recommend this book for borderline. The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245077/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_LPt3xb0AN14TA