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Have you read The Screw tape letters? That is a profound work with themes of Christian mysticism in my opinion. For more in relation to CON books check out this book written on the topic.
Lewis was a devout Christian and definitely was weary of “false mysticism” which could lead practitioners away from Gods truth. I don’t agree with Lewis on everything that’s for sure. Yet there is no doubt about his genius and influence.
https://www.amazon.com/Into-Region-Awe-Mysticism-Lewis/dp/083083284X
It's not cheap, because it's an actual academic text. But Making Amulets Christian by Theodore de Bruyn explores the amulets and talismans made by pre-Nicene Christians.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0199687889/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_.jG-FbS3E4534
This isn't an answer to your question per se but your view of Christ reminds me of a book by an Episcopal minister that speaks to just that very thing. The book was the catalyst for me to delve into the esoteric. The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault
As an update, the ritual was performed at sunrise Kyiv time today (late at night for me). The Christ light over Kyiv extinguished at the end of the ritual on its own. I am seeking the meaning of this today.
This may not sound too eventful, except this is an oil lamp, in a glass cylinder:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08K7HZT6R/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_YEFHH8D510BBJSQT14JW
The oil was filled in the morning yesterday, and my tabernacle and altar are indoors and I use this lamp regularly. I do not know what it means yet and will not speculate. Just sharing the update.
Eastern Orthodox Christianity, Chaos Magic, and psychedelics. I don’t think I would explicitly recommend that anyone else try to balance those three but it can work. I would highly recommend The Sayings of the Dessert Fathers. It’s the closest I’ve come to seeing all three of those paths presented in one place. Read that and listen to some Terence McKenna. And Jonathan Pageau.
An episcopal priest by the name of Eddes MacGregor wrote a pretty good book on the subject. It's pretty long-winded at parts, and sometimes feels like a stretch. I'd say that this book is a really good reference on the subject.
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https://www.amazon.com/Reincarnation-Christianity-Rebirth-Christian-Thought/dp/0835605019
There's a lot of folk magic that makes use of psalms and prayers to the saints. It's very similar to Hoodoo in that regard. Here's a book that may be of interest. It contains a few examples of Russian folk magic spells.
https://www.amazon.com/Conjuring-Hope-Healing-Contemporary-Epistemologies/dp/1845450930
I assume this is closer to what you are looking for than the sort of miracles performed by living saints. Miracles are performed by achieving theosis. When you attain theosis, your will becomes one with the will of God. If you will someone to be cured of cancer, then it is as if God is willing that person to be cured of cancer, so of course the person becomes cured of cancer. There are a lot of stories of advanced mystics on Mount Athos and elsewhere doing this sort of thing, but it is a completely different matter than the folk magic I mentioned earlier.
> pray for a revival of these, but that obviously hasn't materialized.
Have you come across this book? I highly recommend it for the purposes of advocating the pursuits we are discussing. I am trying to recommend it for precisely this use-case wherever I come across those with a budding interest. It's unfortunate I hadn't come across this thread sooner, but hopefully OP will check back in and find my comment. It's a pretty good introduction to the subject.
guess I can't find a PDF, but it's on amazon for $13.95: https://www.amazon.com/V%C3%A9ritable-Dragon-Noir-Infernales-soumises/dp/2981613677
1) Welcome!
2) This experience in which meditation becomes hard or painful is quite common. Most serious and long-term meditators I have spoken with have been through something similar. Often numerous times, in different ways. There are two major ideas about this that I am familiar with. The first theory is explained quite clearly by Daniel Ingram in his book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha which the author makes available for free online (Im not going to search for it right now, but it is easy to find), especially on his chapters on the Progress of Insight. I highly recommend it. According to this view, the meditating mind and perception progress through a number of reliable and systematic stages, some of which are inherently uncomfortable (sometimes extremely so) - also called the dark night. If, before you entered into this painful phase, your meditation was more powerful and blissful than ever, and if perhaps you hit a particularly strong moment of insight shortly before the transition - then this view probably applies to you.
The other major theory is more personal/emotional. According to this view, as one's mind becomes more open/peaceful/spacious/accepting, various bits of buried pain decide that it is now possible for them to present themselves and to start being perceived, acknowledged, understood, and worked with. According to this view, the main thing is just to be patient and relax into the uncomfortableness. Although, if you want to tackle this a little more directly, I highly recommend this practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEbJ_maF_fo
I think it takes months for the full list of angels.. There is a guy who spend 16 years studying this subject, and he made a book listing angels.
http://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-Angels-Including-Fallen/dp/002907052X
There is a book you might like, (available through Amazon), regarding contemplations and conversations between some prominent occult practitioners and their Holy Guardian Angel: