I bought a shrt that snaps between my legs, my diaper never shows no matter what. It's a onsie that looks like a black t-shirt
You should check it out, it avoids me from embarrassment.
Here is a Amazon link https://www.amazon.com/Rearz-Crotch-Onesie-Bodysuit-Black/dp/B07HKQL133
I have used the Attends premier and they are very comfortable. They are very absorbent, but a bit expensive. I have also used the Live Dry Mega briefs, not cheap but very absorbent. Try a single package of any of these and see what works for you. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4BQTXN2?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
I can sympathise with you. I’m now 60 so there’s little left in life that can embarrass me. Having been diagnosed with Crohn’s,a few years ago, and being undiagnosed my whole life I’ve probably experience worse.
I’ve had issues recently with my prostate and hopefully now have drugs to deal with that.
I’m wearing nappies at the moment, ‘til the drugs kick in properly.
I’ve bought some nappies at the pharmacy, however, I now buy from Amazon. I bought from various pharmacies/supermarkets until I found one that I like. Size, style etc. the ones I settled on are Depends
Depend Comfort Protect https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M0IOKCR?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I borrowed a large one from my wife to try and it was massive. I had to fold down the top so that it didn’t show over my jeans.
I started to wear my normal underpants over the nappy and that has been great for me.
I hope this helps.
I found the Inspire+ to have less capacity than the Megamax, but that could be just a difference in body shapes.
I've heard that the Trest has more capacity than the Megamax, when you can find it, but they're only available on Amazon, and not by the case, so they're pricier.
"…pad for your bed as well so that you don't have to sleep on the couch."
My partner has dementia, and urinary incontinence. Got this pad recently: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075NSZLMC
We had occasion to test it recently. Very absorbent, eliminated the issue of spill-over we had with smaller pads (have used 3 foot by 3 foot washables previously). Didn't keep the top sheet dry, of course, but big improvement keeping me dry. Didn't have to safety-pin it to the bottom sheet to keep it in place. The "wings" tuck around & under the mattress.
I was able to get a body powder applicator where I don't have to touch the powder. It has helped as has used the powder.
The hardest part of finding an applicator is finding one that wasn't pink or baby blue. I eventually found one in white that doesn't look too much like it belongs in a nursery. Here's the link if you or anyone else is interested, https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09CH1YXHW/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_asin\_title\_o01\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I use this Small Black Sling Crossbody Backpack Shoulder Bag for Men Women Vintage PU Leather Sling Backpack Cycling USB Charger https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H92HBPN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_889R2ESQ9P6TXC9NH7R7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 It has enough room for a couple of diapers and a pack of wipes, plus some other stuff. I also keep a full sized backpack in the trunk of my car, and I have it loaded with extra supplies should I need more while I’m out and about.
This is my current diaper bag:
It is a good size. My first attempt at a diaper bag was one like you show in your picture, but it was too small.
I'll start. One thing that helps me a ton that I don't hear people talk about is rinse-free wash. The stuff I use is perineal wash specifically for incontinence (specifically this but you can get rinse-free body wash). I keep it in a little pump bottle that's intended for foaming hand soap and squirt a pump or three on a wipe with every change, but especially after a BM. I feel so much cleaner and my skin has been noticably more healthy since I started. I'd say it's 95% as good as showering without actually having to shower.
I really like the Seni Super Plus from Amazon. They work great for me overnight. On Amazon they are $66.89 for a case of 75 diapers. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/Seni-Briefs-Severe-Incontinence-Overnight/dp/B00NOW797S/ref=sr\_1\_2?crid=2MBJXKJGW1AKV&keywords=seni+super+plus+briefs+medium&qid=1642046242&sprefix=seni+super+plus%2Caps%2C621&sr=8-2
I’m using this product on my hips and where the leg gathers contact my skin
Medline Remedy Olivamine Calazime Skin Protectant Paste Cream, Used with Dry Chapped from Diaper Rash, Incontinence, Dermatitis, Psoriasis, Burns, Bites, White, 4 Oz, 3 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078TLM8X3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_9403XEEQJ6QNVQSV8FAG
Have you tried the Seni Super Plus? They are cloth backed, but you could wear plastic or PUL waterproof pants over them. Less than a dollar each on Amazon if you buy a case. Very absorbent for the price! You could buy just a bag and try them out. With these and your M-4s at night, you should be well under $4.00 per day. Here's the link:
I'm similarly incontinent and two things have helped me with a third that's worth a shot.
First, a good diaper pail. I have the XL Dekor, which works reasonably well and they make aftermarket liners that aren't terribly expensive.
Second, M9 Odor Eliminator spray. That's an amazon link, but you can get it elsewhere. Not to put too fine a point on it, but my bowel movements REEK worse than anything I've ever smelled (and I worked in healthcare for years), and that stuff makes a decent dent. It's not perfect but it's significantly better.
Lastly, you might look into an "internal deodorant". Nullo and Devrom are the two big brands. I haven't tried the name brand of either yet, but the knockoffs I've tried didn't work all that well.
So a couple things you can also try to see if you can keep using the same diaper.
Buy disposable liners for cloth baby diapers, for sensitive skin. These are meant to keep solid waste off of the diaper, to make them easier to clean. But, they also put something between the skin and the diaper itself. Something like this. Try them with the cloth diapers, and see if you have any irritation, and if not, try them in the disposables.
Also, try cloth booster pads inside the disposables. Again, it's putting something between your skin and the disposable diaper. Not as much laundry as full size diapers, but still something that might help.
Also, try the Bourdeaux's before trying other diaper ointments. Because it's not petroleum based, I find it to be less slimy than something like Aquaphor. I definitely feel it's slickness when I apply it inside of the butt crack (not to be crass or anything, but there's not a better term), but don't notice it feeling slimy anywhere else, like the surface of my backside.
On the moderately priced, but will definitely help side of things, GaryWear Active Briefs. They're made of PUL, and will trap liquid inside the elastics, for at least a little while. The elastic does need to be snug (although not tight) for them to work, so they offer a large variety of sizes. They can just be rinsed off and hung to dry for a bit to use again, so you honestly don't need many, or to worry about doing laundry when using them. Just throw them in the wash on wash day to prevent odors from building up. Because of the elastic, I find they can contribute to friction rashes, though.
On the more expensive, but totally worth it side of things, ProtecBriefs. They have a fabric interior, which will absorb many leaks, they have a PUL outer layer which will keep the liquid from getting out, they have long legs which further help with leaks and prevent the need for uncomfortable elastic, and the seams are out of the way, which seems to further prevent leaks. I've heard they can be rinsed out and left to dry inside out on non-laundry days, but because they do have an absorbent layer you definitely need to let them dry for longer than the GaryWear's. And, inside out and tossed in the wash on laundry days.
Anything less expensive than the GaryWear that I've tried just hasn't cut it for me.
https://www.amazon.com/Teamoy-Reusable-Sanitary-Menstrual-Absorbency/dp/B07GXBFB5L/ref=mp_s_a_1_12
Maybe something like this would work? 14 inches should cover a fair portion of the range you could need.
For a fungal infection you want this:
Works like a charm and way cheaper than in stores.
Have you looked into internal deodorizers like Nullo?
I haven't tried them myself (I don't think I'm at that point yet), but I've been keeping them in mind. My understanding is that they might change the color and consistency of your stool, and they take a few days to work, but for many people they greatly reduce or eliminate odors to the point that one might not be able to tell anything was amiss.
You could also look into a female portable urinal, in addition to wearing a high-capacity diaper. That way you can still avoid public restrooms but also cut down on how long you might spend in a wet diaper.
https://www.amazon.com/ONEDONE-Universal-Portable-Adapter-Hospital/dp/B071FG46N9
I wear Seni Super Plus for everyday use, and Abena M3s for high-capacity stuff.
Use an anti-chafing product. I use Bodyglide. It comes in a stick form (I think the stick does a better job, but it's more difficult to apply) and alotion form. It works wonders for me. There's likely other anti-chafing products on the market, I haven't tried any because of how well Bodyglide works for me.
I ran across B-Sure ABL Absorbent Pads today while going through some old emails. I don't know if they would work for you, but I thought I'd point them out. They're also available on Amazon for about the same price.