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Hey.

This book might help.

Basically, live your life from a perspective of unconditional self love, acceptance and forgiveness; with a self-awareness you cultivate, over time, to always focus on your wellbeing as your #1 priority (health is your greatest treasure - mental, emotional, physical and spiritual).

Is this thing, person, situation helping me love myself? Not in a narcissistic jerk kinda way, but in a healthy, I like being alive, healthy, and have full agency of my life.

Is this in the best interest of my wellbeing?

There’s a lot of info out there. Get ready to Google, look within, meditate, get some inner insight. The only way to figure out who you really are is to ask good questions, to yourself, and look within for a response. If you do t get one, if you don’t get a mental image or a feeling, then try new things that interest you and are healthy. See what you learn from the experience.

Live for you. Decide what you love and pursue.

Best wishes, Kay

You sure you can't develop the app with your spare time? Or is it too packed?

I do some programming and could totally help you out with this idea, my dude.

Here's what I'd recommend to get you started:

https://developer.android.com/studio/index.html

It sounds like you're more scared of death. Read on stoicism, specifically Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Death has been around for longer than we have. It's a process of life, a process of nature. Death and the sight of seeing our loved ones isn't, imo, the saddest thing in life. I don't know what is, but death caused (indirectly) by someone else not doing what's best for the greater good is one for me.

Kind of like putting a stop to these unhealthy habits (i.e. food), instead of finding a way to cure these (unnatural) diseases. Cause over symptoms.

Hi Captain, how are you in striking up conversation with strangers? Whats your relationship like with your coworkers? I don't know if there are meetups (meetup.com) you would enjoy going to, but its a good place to participate and meet new people in activities you already like. Hope that helps.

I'd recommend reading "Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed"

"We are living in an age of heightened individualism. Success is a personal responsibility. Our culture tells us that to succeed is to be slim, rich, happy, extroverted, popular – flawless."

From the books description on Amazon, emphasis added is my own.

Amazon Link - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Selfie-How-West-Became-Self-Obsessed/dp/144728366X

Other booksellers are available, this book was quite popular so if high-street bookshops are still open / reopening soon where you live you might be able to get it there.

This post was removed but I think you can still see it? There is a good discussion. https://www.reddit.com/r/philosophy/comments/4ye46g/life_has_no_meaning_but_thats_okay/?ref=share&ref_source=link

I recommend reading Victor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning (I talked about it in that thread), and/or some of Hermann Hesse's works--Siddhartha, Demian. They might help.

There's good advice already on here. I'll just say try reading some books--people struggle with this feeling throughout the ages and write about it, there are tons of sources. Start with Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. Read Hermann Hesse. Go on youtube and watch Alan Watts videos. Start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emHAoQGoQic

Also, if you are stuck like this, you should consider giving up some things you are doing. Right now they feel like all you have, but they may be the very things getting in your way and bringing you down. If you are not doing well, why keep doing what you are doing?

I know the feeling. There's no right way to do things. School for me was a social club. C's for me. I would say this. Make friends. Read non fiction books man. I didn't read a single book I'm college but I am now and it's nuts how amazing it can be. Try to read one of these books.

• The Code of an Extraordinary Mind
• the Millionaire Fastlane
• Bird by Bird
• Triggers
• The Compound Effect

These books are simple but challenge you to think in new ways. I'd start here.

I am so sorry to hear about the terrible things you have gone through this year.

What jumped out at me is that you are trying to "why" - most things I have read about recovering form tragedy strongly advise against asking "why" and instead focus on making meaning from your experience, concentrating on how you can use this to move forward.

If you not read it yet I do recommend Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. And this article is a decent introduction to the concept of Post Traumatic Growth

Have you ever read How To Win Friends and Influence People? I think there is some good advice in there for this situation. It basically comes down to when you admit a mistake, insult yourself over it before they can, and it will make them inclined to defend you and tell you it wasn't that bad insted of being angry with you. Just tell them straight out that you screwed up, call yourself an idiot for it, exaggerate the level of how much of an idiot you were for making those choices. Then stress how much you've learnt from making such an epic screw up, and ask for advice on how you can avoid doing it again. Say a bit about your recovery plan, and get them involved and feeling like you're taking their advice seriously; it'll give them a sense of importance and control, which might help restore their trust in you.

It's a little manipulative but it might lessen the impact for you both. Just make sure that you really do learn from it too! Check out the book when you have some free time, it can be a real help with both your personal and career relations. Good luck with your future study, sometimes learning something the hard way can be a good thing.

Swearing is not a necessity, you don't need to do it. Swearing is used to add insult, or to add exclamation, over use of swearing is vulgar and makes the perpetrator seem uneducated. Maybe consider a book like this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Filthy-English-When-Everyday-Swearing/dp/184627169X/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0EGHMWN5JNRQRN2X8JGB