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I just wear hanes xtemp or fruit of the loom breathable.
I find that the long leg makes them bunch less, so while there's a little extra fabric, I don't generally notice. that said, my ass and thighs are enormous, so like. that might be taking up some of the fabric 😂
I don't know how accepting they are of you choosing your own clothing, but they have swim shirts that protect you from the sun. Like what surfers wear.
I usually wear that with men's trunks. Usually a sports bra underneath.
You could express concern of skin cancer or something.
Go to amazon. Search for "breast forms." The photos are mostly in the DD range, but if you actually click the products to buy, most of the results have size option drop-down menus that begin with A-size cups. There are tons of options.
Here is an example, one of many. See the button where you can select size? Pick an A or B.
High-impact sports bras have worked ok for me in the past. I usually would wear one a few sizes too small to bind a bit better (which should definitely be limited to 6-8 hours like a standard binder) but if you got the proper size it could be a bit more comfortable for longer. this is the one I had.
It doesn’t look overly bra-like and does compress pretty well. The 3x was relatively comfortable and bound okay at a 40H cup size (I also had a 1x I wore for better binding, but that definitely was a 6-8 hour option max). The 3x still compressed a decent amount and is/was probably safer than wearing a binder for that long, even if the binder was loose-ish. Getting whatever correct band size for this is a decent idea I think, at least to try? Not too expensive either.
When I started to get dysphoric about dresses, I got a cape/robe thing with a big flow-y back ... the spin-y-ness is the best part of skirts/dresses imo, and that covered it.
Edit: This isn’t it, but the back is similar.
Check out this collection of memoirs from many different non-binary folks. Read it earlier this year, great little read.
I really, really, really like this product:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S7PKPQR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_ReF7NP6wILp7h
Not only is it gender affirming, but in my experience it’s also WAY comfier than a binder. Binders just feel like bras from hell to me tbh, while this just feels like wearing an undershirt. It’s very freeing!
I have a 38C chest and I can get adequate compression—not as much as a traditional binder does, but enough for me. In a semi-loose T shirt my chest is visible but much smaller looking, in a loose t-shirt it just looks like I’ve got pecs for days, and throw on a button up over that (my typical outfit) and I look like I have a cis chest!
I’m 5’8 and roughly 160 pounds, and the medium is the perfect size for me. I have a small as well which has better compression, but isn’t as comfortable long term.
Hope that helps!
You might like something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Bandeau-Strapless-Bralette-Seamless-Non-Padded/dp/B091FR1DCZ?th=1&psc=1
It’s not designed to support or accentuate the actual breast mounds, but the extra fabric will help reduce nipples poking through t-shirts.
I started cleansing and moisturising over a year ago. I use a gentle cleanser and the CeraVe morning and evening moisturisers. The effect was noticeable to the touch after a month or so but it's not like it's going to make you look all that different. I'm in my 30's, I wish I'd started sooner. I'll sometimes use retinol I've been slacking though.
I also use a matte powder foundation/concealer with a beauty sponge. I use this. I don't always do my full face but under the eyes makes a difference and my forehead is oily so it really helps there. It's pretty subtle.
I’m in a similar boat. Sensory issues mean I usually can’t stand having nothing on, but also being too tightly bound creates the opposite problem. Tape would be ideal if it weren’t for those pesky adhesive allergies.
Historically I have just worn a cropped cami, usually in a ribbed texture so it has more structure. Doesn’t feel tight but it’s enough to keep things comfortable around the house. I usually make sure to get ones with adjustable straps so I can avoid any strain on my neck or shoulders. Generally I can get them on sale at American Eagle for around $10. If a cami is too femme for you, you could get similar results with a cropped tank top.
Now that I have to walk more for work (resulting in some unfortunate jiggling…) I usually wear a sports bra. If you get one from an athletic brand (Nike, adidas, etc) they handle sweat well. I have some that don’t have the big elastic band on the bottom, they have a thinner one hidden inside the bottom hem, that are less tight on my chest. They don’t make me completely flat (wearing a size XL over 34DD boobs) but it’s usually flat enough with a loose shirt.
The other thing I have tried is seamless bras like these from aerie. It doesn’t have a defined band, so there’s no lower chest tightness. The pads are removable, and if I wear two bras layered together it’s about as flat as a sports bra. These also have the benefit of being invisible under clothes, because there’s no thick seams or buckles
I’d give sports bras that have a higher compression ability a try for the days you don’t want to bind completely.
I relate pretty heavily to not wanting to compress everyday but that’s because it makes me super sore 😅 I still feel pretty good in this
I get swim shorts on amazon
Yaluntalun Beach Shorts... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q7FYZ63?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
And then I have a black halter top looking swim top
Tutorutor Womens High Waisted... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081SYM3QR?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
The shorts have pockets and I just throw on a t shirt unless I'm in the water. I feel so much more comfy
Maybe these toys could help? https://perfectfitbrand.com/new-kiss-x-pre-order.html https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Strapless-Harness-Free-Vibrator-Batteries/dp/B07BZ95MMY
They had reasonable reviews on ohjoysextoy.
Is she into books? It Feels Good To Be Yourself may be helpful.
Tbh, I'm not suuuuper worried about her response. I totally get the inherent shudder it brings on, but hey - that was rather tame for a kid! And it's okay if the concept confuses her! It's a new concept for her! It is confusing!
Remember that this isn't something she has to soak in all at once. This can be a continuing conversation! Her attitude will evolve as her understanding does. When you talk about it further, I would engage with her questions and confusion ("it was weird at first for me, too! but that's just because I didn't really understand it yet"), relate them to experiences she may have had, and talk more about your own personal feelings as far as you can articulate them ("you know how you love dresses because they make you feel like a princess? sometimes I like that, too, but other times I like feeling like a prince, and sometimes I don't like feeling like either. It's fun to change things up and be the dragon instead! ROAR!").
It's also okay to tell your sister that the way she used "weird" hurt your feelings and that you understand if she doesn't really understand being nonbinary yet, but she should still be kind to other people and that not understanding something doesn't make it "weird" - it just makes it something to learn about.
If you wear a compression sports bra (just one, not too tight or you can hurt yourself, and you just end up with breast tissue getting pushed out the sides anyway) eventually your breast tissue may start to flatten a bit. I've also personally found that long-line compression bras tend to give me more of the shape I want (long line bras go down to about the waist) even if they're less compressive. Something like this (I don't own this one just wanted to show you an example): https://www.amazon.com/CRZ-YOGA-Longline-Racerback-Antique/dp/B088NMGKWQ/ref=sr_1_28?dchild=1&keywords=longline+bra&qid=1630438768&sr=8-28 will make me look flatter and more like I have pecs instead of like I have just a tube of breast tissue around my chest lol. I layered compression bras a few times to run (the better running bras are super uncomfortable I think) and found it totally ineffective both for bounce reduction and chest reduction, so only use one.
Additionally, shapewear can also be very compressive so you could get one of those shapewear tank tops. I find they squash everything pretty well.
I know you say you don't want to look masc/muscley, but you could try to increase muscle size for your abs/shoulders/arms which will make your chest look smaller in comparison.
PS: Apologies for talking about more than you asked for, and you may already know about these, but I also highly suggest a thigh shaper. Get that hour-glass figure you know you want!
Maybe these sports bras? https://smile.amazon.com/Fruit-Loom-Built-Up-Sportsbra-Heather/dp/B0013Y6KG0/ The sizing is a bit weird and hard to guess online, but they're generally in stock at walmart.
I like them because have a gender neutral design, they're supportive enough so that I'm not constantly aware of having a chest, and they're comfortable enough so that I'm not constantly aware of wearing a bra--I even sleep in them.
They're not super flattening, but they do help a bit. Especially if you can wear a loose flannel or hoodie or something over it.
Glad I was able to help! Yeah, so here's the link for the boy shorts. Fair warning though, it does unfortunately say the dreaded "for women" in the title, but that's keywords for you. There's definitely more and probably cheaper brands but thinkx is the one all the YouTubers were reviewing so yeah haha. And I also managed to find these reusable pads and they don't actually say who they're intended for in the title. It's just sanity napkins and all that, so yeah.
But that's just a random Amazon search result they could be crap, but at least they're gender neutral crap. ^seriously probably do more research on the pads if you can, it might be dysphoria-inducing but if you get a couple good quality ones you basically won't ever have to deal with the shit WOMAN advertising
Yesss I love stripes! I have a sweater sort of like Ernie (Sesame Street). These are the socks if you wanted them (and are ok with Amazon... I feel iffy on it but it’s also accessible like a lot of things aren’t) — also I misremembered, they’re black/white with red accents, which I love. They also have orange and blue ones which are equally affirming!
I consider this one androgenous/modern: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VLXVFMH?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I have this one and wear it often.
Lots of stuff in the lower price range on Amazon. Ps: Sorry for using Amazon. :(
I’ve been working through a similar thing with my therapist. I’m not entirely sure if Im nonbinary, trans, or if it’s a different issue like body dysmorphia or something. She’s having me go through a gender workbook with her that has actually been very helpful and also just very interesting to read. It has you do some little activities and explains gender and sex and presentation and everything, and I’ve found it very useful so far. Here’s a link to it on Amazon if ur interested, there are other places that have it also (I got mine from Barnes and Noble). I defo recommend it if ur looking for a little extra help or even if ur just looking for more info on gender in general.
https://www.amazon.com/Gender-Quest-Workbook-Exploring-Identity/dp/1626252971
I recently picked something up on Amazon...they kinda remind me of bike shorts:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RVJBLNL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Dh-dFbD00R833
They're definitely marketed toward women as a way of preventing chafing. I find that they help with the lower crotch in men's pants (my thighs rub together and that seam is hell on my skin).
They are pretty comfy so far (I've been testing them for a few weeks) and a bit less expensive than anything else I've found. I find the rise in the waist a bit excessive, so I might try to find something lower cut eventually. For now I've been rolling them down.
I've also tried boxer briefs from the men's section and those work well enough for me - I find the extra layer from the pocket overlap at the front more annoying than the extra space for bits I don't have. Men's boxer briefs are lower rise in the waist, and that's nice.