Hey I know what you're going through. I've been there.
The main problem is to actually get yourself to stop making excuses and admit HE was the one with problems and they HE was a narcissist.
I read this book when I was in the relationship trying to find reasons to make myself admit the reality. This Should I stay? Or should I go? audio book helped me. It's on Audible. I guess amazon as a paperback too!
Please have a look at it. It's worth knowing you are so much better than what he had you believing all along. I hope you good luck.
This sounds like one of those N-rules that are only rules b/c they suit what the Ns want at the moment. If they were the parents of a wife, bet it would be the husband's parents who "should" pay up. Get yourself a copy of Toxic In-Laws, ASAP!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003WJRE4Q/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1
On top of the distance therapy, you might consider self-help books that are of actual value. Specifically, those based around the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy school, which is the gold standard in quality therapy. A big part of CBT is self-help, and CBT therapists usually recommend getting one or more books and studying them, and doing "homework" such as worksheets and meditation exercises.
I have this one, and it is excellent. This one is also excellent, and is by one of the people who developed CBT.