The birth order research has been called into question many times over, because it has failed to replicate: https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/An-Attempted-Replication-of-the-Relationships-Birth-Michalski-Shackelford/89646773fd902274d2c8f012609602d47f44a347#paper-header
The part that has replicated is firstborns having a greater “Openness to ideas”, sometimes called intellectual curiosity.
One birth order effect I know has replicated: due to differences in the placental environment, firstborns are more likely to be autistic or have autistic-spectrum traits. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24313668/
well I can help a bit there this book is a great guide
https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting/dp/1501122983
As for making time scheduling is hard but ultimately I think it is worth your time to try and carve out some time when you can and when you do make it special and ephasise its mom toddler time.
I’m a therapist who mostly works with kids who have anxiety. It’s really important to try to figure out (and I know this sounds kind of silly) if he has “regular” anxiety or if it leans towards legitimate OCD. Everything you’re doing is great if your child has anxiety, but if he really has OCD (does he obsess over health things? Is he afraid of bad things/dying? Does he seem to ruminate/perseverate on things? Does he have any repetitive behaviors when experiencing the above symptoms?) because there’s a whole different way to manage OCD in children. (repetitive behaviors in a 5 yo could be constantly asking you questions for reassurance*)
Here is a workbook I use in practice and recommend to families:
Standing Up to OCD Workbook For Kids: 40 Activities to Help Children Stop Unwanted Thoughts, Control Compulsive Behaviors, and Overcome Anxiety https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641527978/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VE3LFb69G6D0N
We used a Mika Mickey bassinet from Amazon. It's rated for 33lbs and size wise is quite a bit larger than most others. We too have a large baby and only stopped using it once my wife had recovered enough from the c section to lift him out of the crib. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J232RV4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_XJCQ3WPDFJ2BDC3Q5ZEM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I have a similar rule with the exception of this little guy that I've linked. This little octopus speaks three languages and knows colors and plays music. My twins are in the relationships leap (leap 5 wonder weeks) and I've noticed they have learned how to push his head to play the songs themselves so while they can't see what's making the noise, they do know how to make the noise they like.
I have done a lot of research on toys...being a preemie mom you only have until age 2 to close the adjusted age vs actual age gap and so I try to buy the most developmentally sound toys I can. That being said the toy that I would pay double for and buy over and over is the Manhattan Toys Skwish!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000TFLAZA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_TPNK7QEMD3KEV6290PVN
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fever/in-depth/fever/art-20050997
The fever is an important player in immune response, so medicine should only address discomfort above 102 F taken rectally, call doctor if fever doesn't go down with tylenol or lasts 3 days, or baby seems lethargic
I wish I had a great recommendation for a parent-centered book that is more curriculum-neutral, but I don't at this time.
The Incredible Years book is a readable option, but it just focuses on that one curriculum.-- https://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Years-Troubleshooting-Parents-Children/dp/1895642027
Everyday Parenting is aimed at clinicians and has more theory built in, if that interests you, but is still very readable, IMO... but it's still a single curriculum (also, it's focused on a broader age range and some of the handouts are, in my opinion, hard to manage; I have my own variations that I personally prefer).-- https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Parenting-Professionals-Building-Management/dp/0878226583/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=everyday+parenting&qid=1619492714&sr=8-3
Honeywell HFD320 AirGenius 5 Air Purifier Cleaner/Odor Reducer, Large Room, 1-Pack, Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009P7SVHS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_XZ023J28XKBWMGZZHM5W?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We bought ours through Walmart though. It works AMAZINGLY, especially since we are a multiple cat household. Worth every penny. It provides clean air, cool air, and white noise.
I have one of those Dyson tall fans with an air filter on it that I got via credit card points to afford (lol) and we have one called the Germ Guardian which is similar to this one but ours is way older. I think they also sell slightly different germ guardians at Costco too.
This one worked for us once he was rolling: Amazing Baby Transitional Swaddle... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0775VNY72?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
He would indeed roll over in it, but he used his arms to push up, adjust his head, and sleep just fine.
We ended up getting a helmet for one of my girls because the mis-shape of her head caused her eyes & ears to be misaligned so the "need" was not only cosmetic, but could later cause glasses not to fit correctly & the dr also mentioned that with the shape of her head safety helmets wouldn't fit correctly either.
Prior to going the helmet route though the dr had us try an elephant ear pillow for use anytime she was in any kind of "holder". https://www.amazon.com/Original-Baby-Elephant-Ears-Stroller/dp/B092PS9FRZ/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=53518521342&gclid=Cj0KCQiA-oqdBhDfARIsAO0TrGEhK6Fo0vDnQnvUQbZlip5rJ-KkTnk17CiQY6FCvo5S74EnBE2rHiQaAkAGEALw_wcB&hvadid=274668715437&hvdev=m...
All late but these lead tests are pretty cheap and I used them when I used to live in an old home. Should work on the zippers, but I'm not too sure if it works on fabrics though.
Read Emily Osters literature reviews on this: https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=397cdd4b-6f2b-48e1-b61a-d393e5718cf5
Tl:dr - there’s a tiny positive effect from the presence of any breast milk. There is zero negative effect whatsoever from the presence of formula
As someone already suggested- chewing on cold. But i wanted to add- we get baby fruit feeders. Its made of netting and i would pop a piece of frozen fruit in there to chew on. The netting prevents baby from biting of large pieces. And if you buy a bag of frozen fruit at the grocery store (strawberries, bananas, etc.) it takes 10 secs to assemble. I always found my daughters gums would be more tender at night, especially before bedtime. You can follow with the frozen or cool wet washcloth to keep teeth and gums clean.
Hope it brings baby some relief! This part is rough but it does pass fairly quickly. Hang in there 🙂
> Keep baby monitors and other products well out of reach. Your baby may be able to reach the cord before you realize it, which can lead to strangulation.
> Keep baby monitor cords at least 3 feet away from the crib and do not place any item with a cord near the crib or under the crib mattress.
"Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5" by David L. Hill MD FAAP -
Himalaya Botanique Kids... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081B9H837?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We used to use regular adult mint toothpaste, but now our daughter likes to set up her own toothbrush and is a little more generous with her portions, so we decided to use this for awhile.
I am not an expert on this, but Ferber has a book:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NY11NI/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0
Are there really different versions of the Ferber Method in the book?
I bought a cheap sensor from Amazon. It seems to work okay. It roughly matched weather reports of air quality particulate when there was a wildfire near me. Though it can give some wildly wrong readings sometimes. For example.. I learned through experimenting that breathing on the sensor registers as Volatile Organic Chemicals (VOCs) and formaldehyde. Not sure that is right.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084N7ZRMJ/
Just note, YMMV when you buy cheap stuff on Amazon though.
For parents that want a super effective way of teaching your kids to read once they know their letters and the sounds they make, here's an amazing old book: https://www.amazon.com/Lets-Read-Linguistic-Clarence-Barnhart/dp/0814334555
Give the reviews a read for this and the first edition.
I really loved The Mayo Clinic Guide to Your Baby's First Years. It has a chapter for each month or group of months after a year up until age 3, as well as chapters on everything you could think of; feeding, diapering, first aid and various other parenting topics. https://www.amazon.com/Clinic-Guide-Babys-First-Years/dp/1893005577/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=3CYPRPM5EAFZL&keywords=mayo+clinic+guide+to+your+baby%27s+first+year&qid=1669909162&sprefix=Mayo+clinic+guide+%2Caps%2C270&sr=8-1-spons&am...
Caring for your baby and young child by American Academy of pediatrics : https://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/1984817701/ref=asc_df_1984817701/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=385575018613&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8254316888478716302&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&a...
Solid Starts app, their website for articles, their Instagram (for starting solids). All evidence based
We just flew internationally with a 2.5 year old and fingers crossed this is what we did to be successful at staying healthy:
-wiped everything down/had plastic tray covers -LO wore a mask as long as he could (which was less than 1/2 of an 11 hour flight - but we prioritized masking on boarding/deplaning when the air isn’t going) -used 2 portable HEPA air filters blowing in him at all times (https://www.amazon.com/Westinghouse-Portable-Purifier-Filter-Technology/dp/B087V6CBT4) -used nasal sanitizer on him before/during/after flight (https://www.nozin.com/nozin-nasal-sanitizer/) -did TSA precheck so we weren’t around lots of other people in close quarters for an extended period of time -let him eat in quiet, isolated parts of the airport
This is our 2nd time flying with him without getting Covid (or RSV). I know it seems like a lot, not for us it’s worth it.
Best of luck!
Sorry this isn’t science based (so delete if not allowed). We’ve had a lot of luck with this plate with the little trap door at the end. I do believe in just presenting food. But I find this a very approachable way to present options. Without asking my child just follows the flow of the plate.
For the first few months, we used this bassinet with a built in mesh canopy. It worked great!
Then please explain the existence of these things. Basically sitting on a balloon and they don't appear to have an expiration date. And there's more than one company that makes these.
If you haven’t yet, I’d check out Fair Play, which is less research and more a useful tool by which you can approach division of labor.
Emily Oster wrote about this here and in her book The Family Firm. Largely the data is mildly interesting but inconclusive and comes more down to your family’s preferences and your child’s individual needs.
Also no popcorn!!!
Until ~4 years old. The kennels are the exact size of their trachea.
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen - https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/150113163X
It's illustrated, it's got TONS of ideas for how to figure out what to do when your little one starts to want things they can't have, or do things you would rather they didn't do.
Whole Brain Child - https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697
This one is great for knowing what's going on in their minds, reminding you what it was like to be a kid, and a little bit of the science behind their behaviors
If you can, I really highly recommend picking up the book "why love matters." It goes into great detail about this. It is not subjective or opinion based. It is actually a very scientific read. https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Matters-affection-shapes/dp/0415870534?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=ccd0dc41-f443-4443-b6d4-4946693f0326
This type of toy was a huge hit with my daughter around that age:
We do a lot of Montessori but don’t shy away from mixing in a nice variety of other options. Toy rotation is probably the most useful part of the philosophy, and little random non-toy objects of interest absolutely end up on our shelves regularly :)
Someone bought us wooden puzzles for our daughter — the type where different shapes go together to make a bee, etc— and she loved them and still loves them. She still can’t totally put them together on her own, but she loved putting them together with me, handing me the pieces, taking them apart, etc. And because they are somewhat challenging, they grow well with her. I ended up buying a couple for little boy whose birthday was a few months younger than my daughter and same success.
For my friend’s child, I got them from petit college. I chose one with gears and one that makes a lion.
I think my daughter’s were these ones from Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/Wooden-Puzzles-Birthday-Toddlers-Learning/dp/B0822GJ6Z5/ref=sxin_22?asc_contentid=amzn1.osa.35df3f30-ce57-404a-adc2-38c394e1d264.A2EUQ1WTGCTBG2.en_CA&asc_contenttype=article&ascsubtag=amzn1.osa.35df3f30-ce57-404a-adc2... We received a slightly different assortment. We have the bear, butterfly, ladybug, and bee. I think the hardest one had 5 pieces but most were less.
I think they mean these? I found them absolutely useless.
I came here to recommend this book as well. Just wanted to add that she has a second edition: https://www.amazon.ca/Science-Mom-Research-Based-Guide-Babys-ebook/dp/B08TTBQ9P1/ref=sr_1_1?crid=FRPONK8BWP3R&keywords=science+of+mom&qid=1666653745&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjg0IiwicXNhIjoiMC45NCIsInFzcCI6IjAuODYifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=science+of...
I've found the AAP's book Caring for your baby and young child a great reference book to have on hand. It's easy enough to read in small chunks and has all the basic info you need.
This is the one we got! We really like it. When I'm not using it it folds up beside my washing machine. However, we're contemplating modifying it a little so it's short enough to slide under the counter.
This is the one we got! We really like it. When I'm not using it it folds up beside my washing machine. However, we're contemplating modifying it a little so it's short enough to slide under the counter.
Honestly when she started showing an interest in actually using what I was using. She was like 12 months? and I was standing on a step stool to get something and she got up after I got off and grabbed a bowl and a spoon from the counter and she was really just banging them but it kind of looked similar enough to stirring for me to realize that's what she was trying to do. The step stool was hella unsafe so we immediately ordered a fold away learning tower (small kitchen, but we knew it's what she needed). After a couple of weeks using the big scrub brush to "help" with dishes (make a very large, wet mess while I do dishes) I started letting her help put things in bowls and hand me things. Like "ok, you hold the squash for me" and then I'd get a bowl out and say "ok now put the squash in the bowl". We got the knives when they went on sale on Amazon like 2 months ago, so about 13 months, almost 14? She's 15 months now, almost 16. I'm not sure when the "right" stage is. We're using super simple wood knives 3 Pieces Wooden Kids Knife Set and not the biggest plastic knives. The ones that look like knives are really only good for really soft stuff like bananas or spreading peanut butter. The square wood one actually cuts through a lot! We use that one the most.
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A great resource is the book Helping Your Child With Extreme Picky Eating. It has great info and lists of resources for parents!
If you want a detailed explanation of the rationale behind both these recommendations I suggest reading “The Science of Mom” by Alice Callaghan. Doctors really simplify the message and make recommendations that are the ideal scenario. A few bites with refined sugar once in a blue moon are not going to do lasting harm. Neither will some iPad time.
If you want to know more about the screens debate, “How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes” has a good chapter on the subject with lots of footnotes so you can explore the sources.
Our toddler was scared of shadows, door knobs, hanging things. Pretty much anything that is indistinguishable in the dark. What worked for us was getting this tent and putting her mattress inside. She has been perfectly fine ever since.
The Nurture Assumption makes this argument compellingly. Raj Chetty’s work argues that the most consequential decision for a child is where (down to the sub-neighborhood) they grow up. Most parenting decisions influence things on the margin, but the margins are often what makes a difference.
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog is by a child psychiatrist, and details stories from his career and research conducted during during that time, as scientists began to learn about the physical development of the brain and what role attachments/early experiences play in forming our minds. There's some horrific stories in there about kids and teens who suffered tremendous trauma. Each case was a keystone "aha!" moment for this psychiatrist, who ended up assisting in research and changing how the scientific community thought about child development, attachment, and the way children need to be treated in order to form a healthy relationship with society. I'm reading it now and almost through, and it has been a huge eye-opener for me.
Laura E. Berk's <strong><em>Infants & Children</em></strong> (she also published a larger edition, Infants, Children and Adolescents). I have a Bachelor's in psychology and started a Master's in developmental psychology and her books were often considered as the reference for all the basic notions in developmental psychology. She touches on emotional development, cognitive development (memory, attention, etc.) and language development, physical development (gross and fine motor skills), etc. They are academic textbooks so it's all scientific, full of scientific references should you want to know more, and very clearly explained and thorough. I sold mine back in the days but I plan on buying her newest edition when I get pregnant ;)
Hiiiiiiighly recommend!!!
So not sensory videos, but I got a specific ok from my pediatrician for the Baby Color Tap app! It's literally just an app where the baby taps the screen and the screen changes colors and makes a funny sound. After watching it for a minute my Pediatrician said there's no flashing lights, no scene changes, and it's basically no different from an electronic toy where the buttons change colors. That app has been a LIFE SAVER when we're out.
I haven't been able to read your entire post or the comments yet, but I wanted to direct you to a book that is in the same vein of "this might not be a popular opinion even if it has merit": Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by psychonanalyst Erica Komisar, LCSW may be of interest to you.
I wonder if a pinch guard like this one would make your husband feel better? The door is mostly closed and you just put it high enough up on the door so you can reach it but LO can't.
For birth, not parenting:
No idea if your the mom or partner, but I learned way more from 'The Birth Partner' than from my in person multi-day birthing class. It was hands down the best out of 7 books I read in advance. Cribsheet and all that other stuff was nice, but this was easy to read, broken up into manageable parts, and includes helpful visuals and check lists. My wife read it a couple months after me, and finally understood why I was disappointed in the birth class.
Use this book:
It’s one of the most effective programs according to numerous randomized controlled trials.
The zero randomized controlled trials that measure the effectiveness of The Whole Brained Children.
Incredible Years get the highest rating for scientific research support in the California Evidence-Based Clearinghouse, but Dan Siegel’s California parent training is not even mentioned there become their is no evidence of effectiveness.
This is an Australian provided to parents rem talking to kids about sex.
https://www.healthywa.wa.gov.au/articles/s_t/talk-soon-talk-often
It encourages following your child's lead - asking them what do you think? This gives you a starting place for the discussion. Start simple and when they stop asking questions you've probably got to the level of depth they need.
Personally I don't remember learning about sex per se, I just remember always kinda knowing from reading lots of animal life cycle books, my awareness that this linked to humans, and sex developed naturally putting the pieces together (we also bred dogs, birds and fish so there was that playing into it too).
I have this book for my son it talks about the different ways babies are made - https://www.amazon.com.au/Baking-Baby-Introducing-ingredients-surrogacy-ebook/dp/B08GFJ2XWJ
I bought my almost-five-year-old this book to explain how her baby sister came to be. I really like how matter of fact its explanations are.
This brand is amazing! The best natural deodorant I’ve ever tried. Spendy… but works well and goes a long way!!
I recommend that you read Risk: A Practical Guide for Deciding What's Really Safe and What's Really Dangerous in the World Around You
And check out the author's web site.
My brother just scoured through their books and says it is likely this one: https://www.amazon.com/Blood-Bones-Body-Horrible-Science/dp/043994449X I was so sure it was written on rhymes but this one is not. But it was still one of my nephew's favourites for quite some time :)
We tried the baby dust method hoping for 2 boys and we have a 2 year old boy and a 1 year old boy. Obviously it could just be a coincidence but this is the book I read https://www.amazon.ca/Babydust-Method-Guide-Conceiving-Girl-ebook/dp/B01DTLXL3O/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=f13a6954-016e-4a7c-8d6a-eab22347c180
A blender or a gas powered lawn mower is about 90 decibels, to get an idea of how loud they had the white noise at. From "Prescious Little Sleep",
> Turn the volume up to roughly 50 decibels—about the level of somebody taking a shower if you are standing in the bathroom. It shouldn’t be uncomfortably loud—if it bothers you, it’s probably too loud. As a comparison, normal human conversation is about 60 decibels.6 Leave the white noise on whenever your baby should be sleeping, and make sure it won’t turn off.7 Any CD or other device that stops won’t work, or, more accurately, it will work... until it turns off. Generally, white noise is only to be used while your baby is asleep. You want your child exposed to the stimulation of speech, music, and life when they’re awake. White-noise can then become a powerful sleep cue.
https://www.amazon.com/Precious-Little-Sleep-Complete-Parents/dp/0997580801
Yep got the one of these for my toddler and a sun hat and love skipping sunscreen!
When we swam with him as a baby we actually got him basically a baby wet suit, kept him nice and warm, if you’re thinking of swimming more often might want to get something like that or a kind of warm vest at least to keep them cozy :)
The book Nurture Shock makes the argument that peer group has a much larger influence on child development than nearly any parenting choice. This also tracks to Raj Chetty’s research on zip codes — that the most important choice a parent makes is their neighborhood and consequently, their child’s peer group.
Because of that, selfishly I would think a lot about how the different choices of schools will impact the different peers your kid will interact with. That doesn’t mean private school is better or public school is worse - just that when you choose a school, you are implicitly choosing what your child will see as normal and work toward. Your kid may be extraordinary and have a strong self identity outside of his peers, but the truth is, most of us benchmark ourselves against those we know. So it’s important to me that my kid “knows” kids who value kindness, openness, grit, critical thinking and curiosity.
And nonselfishly, we should work to reduce the disparity between schools so that ending up the product of our environments doesn’t lead to such markedly different outcomes.
How Children Learn, by John Holt. It's an older book (from the late 60s), but he was a pioneer in child education and had some keen insight into the inner workings of small children. It really shaped my understanding of children even before I became a parent, and helped improve my relationship to my niece.
You've had lots of good advice in terms of not using roundup and other options you can try. I haven't seen anyone else mention lawn feeds which help the grass to grow like crazy which then suffocates the weeds - it sounds like exactly what you need. We have this onethis in the UK.
Do they have anything similar in the US? Failing that I back the boiling water or vinegar methods!
We've been VERY happy with this! We still make her hold our hands and interact 90% of the time, but it's nice to know I have the back up if she decides to go gremlin mode (which she does often lol)
Hipiwe Baby Toddler Walking... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N0PV4DT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Here is a ranking of parenting programs by research support:
https://www.cebc4cw.org/topic/parent-training-programs-behavior-problems/
An important support factor is their effectiveness in reducing undesirable behaviors as measured in randomized controlled trials. The most effective programs have good results within a few weeks so it is practical to preform relatively short randomized controlled trials.
Incredible Years is one of the top ranking programs and the training is available in a parenting book:
Incredible Years is a gentle parenting approach well supported by research evidence.
From birth to reality
https://www.amazon.com/Heading-Home-Your-Newborn-Reality/dp/1581108931/ref=asc_df_1581108931/?
Our Pediatrician also gave us a copy of this when we toured and it’s pretty good https://shop.aap.org/your-babys-first-year-5th-edition-paperback/
From birth to reality
https://www.amazon.com/Heading-Home-Your-Newborn-Reality/dp/1581108931/ref=asc_df_1581108931/?
Our Pediatrician also gave us a copy of this when we toured and it’s pretty good https://shop.aap.org/your-babys-first-year-5th-edition-paperback/
I work with the school-aged population, which still can have the same goals as babies but it's in a different population and they need different interventions if that makes sense.
I think the Hanen It Takes Two to Talk is a great approach. It's a book written for parents. However it's meant for parents of late talkers which are a year and up. The techniques are still going to be applicable to babies but you obviously won't be expecting a lot of words back at you at so young lol.
Also, I've really enjoyed anything by Laura Mize. She has a podcast geared towards SLPs and sometimes parents called Teach Me to Talk. Looks like she has a free developmental guide on her website, too. https://teachmetotalk.com/
I have several of Mize's therapy manuals and they are very parent friendly, although they are written for SLPs. Teach me to Play with you has a lot of excellent play routines. In the end I'm not sure it would be worth it - what really matters is that you're engaging and playing with your child consistently. That matters so much more than any intervention or program. Sometimes having a guide is helpful and reassuring, tho.
What about a pogo stick? They make these ‘beginner’ ones: https://www.amazon.com/Flybar-Jumper-Toddlers-Durable-Supports/dp/B00WTDXSDM?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
Works with the existing faucet and rated to remove lead
Does anybody know whether powders like this are as effective as feeding the real foods?
This book covers the topic. (Briefly and I dont remember exacy where). It has been causing me to consider not telling my child there's a Santa Claus when he's older. https://www.amazon.com/Lying-Sam-Harris/dp/1940051002?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=2cceb0e0-71f4-4af4-bcad-04222269fb52
I see you’re getting a lot of personal experiences shared here… if you want more of the actual science behind it I really recommend the book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.
https://www.amazon.com/Bionix-Health-Shotblocker-Relief-Solution/dp/B00B2GI3TG
I just want to add this!
We’ll be giving our kids a bunch of shots in the next two months (yay!) and this has been successful for our family.
James Nestor wrote a book on a related topic. Full disclosure: I did not read this book! But my husband, who is a PhD research scientist (albeit in chemistry) was pretty into it and it helped him get on board with BLW. There is a section positing that lack of chewing causes us to have narrower nasal passages and less developed jaws.
This. I've been reading this twin sleep book and it describes the development of circadian rhythm and melatonin production influencing their sleep patterns.
If I remember correctly, the author indicates that this can start shifting forward as early as 6 weeks. I've found this book incredibly useful and wish I would've read it for my son four years ago when I was so confused as to why his "bedtime" was always after midnight. It is obviously geared towards twins but describes the sleep maturation in an easily digestible way without freaking parents out.
I've read all kinds of sleep books and Ferber's is the most comprehensive but it's almost an information overload.
Copying and pasting this quote from the book Sweet Sleep by La Leche League. The info goes along with what I read in Cribsheet by Emily Oster so I am pretty sure the studies they’re citing are the same or related.
“All those scary warnings are about only the first four months. Beyond that? Even the researchers behind the bedsharing cautions agree that by about four months bedsharing by any responsible, nonsmoking adult is as safe as having your baby sleep separately in a bassinet or crib.”
So, the significant age where risk is reduced is 4 months. They cite this sentence in the book but my kindle is bugging and won’t show me the citation. I’m sure you could find it though as I’ve seen it repeated through a variety of sources!
Incredible Years has a parenting book
My daughter has this toolbox, and she really enjoys it! Just be prepared for all your couches to get hammered as your kid “fix”es them. https://www.amazon.com/Green-Toys-Tool-Set-Blue-Assorted/dp/B0762WB24L
Based on both your post and your comments, I suspect you would enjoy my favorite “baby book”. An anthropologist compares infant rearing practices in a range of cultures - which sounds academic, and it is. But it’s distilled for the lay reader, well written, and an engaging and easy read. It doesn’t explicitly address your questions, but it contains a great deal of relevant info. Many, probably most, of the cultures are more community oriented than ours.
This is my favorite shower gift for thoughtful or science oriented expectant moms, because it teaches you that there are many right ways to raise a child and many beneficial practices to consider.
Our Babies, Ourselves by Meredith Small
>A thought-provoking combination of practical parenting information and scientific analysis, Our Babies, Ourselves is the first book to explore why we raise our children the way we do--and to suggest that we reconsider our culture's traditional views on parenting.
Here’s an episode of the research-based podcast Your Parenting Mojo titled Introduction to Mindfulness and Meditation
Also, it’s not technically science-based, but Dr Seuss has unquestionably lended to my kid’s early language and comprehension skills, so I’m leaving this source….
I started with this book as well as Inside Your Outside (also Cat in the Hat Learning Library) when he was 2yo and he absolutely connects to them. We read them both on regular rotation and he references them IRL, so I know the content is sinking in. It’s also fun to watch the comprehension deepen, because periodically he’ll point out something new, or ask a new question.
Lol nope but Amazon forgets nothing. Literally have the below from searching my orders with just blue wrap despite it being about 6 years ago. I loved both of these.
Cuby Breathable Baby Carrier Mesh Fabric, Ideal for Summers/Beachhe Adjustable Ring Sling Baby Carrier. Ergo Friendly (Deep Blue) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DNRQUUK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_K4QW4QSVER3EGV5Q81R3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Vlokup Baby Wrap Sling Carrier for Newborn, Infant, Toddler, Kid | Breathable Lightweight Stretch Mesh Water Sling | Nice for Summer, Pool, Beach, Swimming | Perfect Shower Gift Lakeblue https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DTC7QM0/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_2CVQAFAW04369XVAZ45K?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Yes, this. I use sunscreen on my 3 month old. I try to avoid the sun but if it's not possible, sunscreen is better than not. Also i use a gel pack for the stroller and carseat that you can throw in the freezer as well as a stroller fan
Battery Operated Stroller Fan... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B085L71L9R?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Gel Car Seat Cooler Pad... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B091YPDSRX?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I recommend getting a small portable fan like this oneyou can attach to the stroller so your baby can get some air flow. I plan on getting one myself for my 9-month-old for hot days when I don’t want to be stuck inside all day.
We had a pop up baby tent thing that I used for my daughter. She had room to play even when she was older, but it was small enough to be easily portable. It definitely kept insects out too
Like this style Bend River Large Baby Tent, Portable Baby Travel Bed, UPF 50+ Infant Beach Sun Shelter, Pop Up Toddler Mosquito Net https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078MLYKCP/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_AEMAZ3N2YGN5FQJ0PFJ5
So I read a fair number of infuriating parenting books prior to my children being born. Most were just long anecdotes or personal screeds and a few were maybe one somewhat interesting idea surrounded by chapters of barely coherent nonsense.
Nurtureshock was pretty much the only one that talked about a wide variety of parenting issues and used a fair amount of research to support it.
While it's not really a "family" book. I've done guided reading for both my kids through Cialdini's Influence and while dated has a number of interesting observations about how people interact.
Friends: Making Them & Keeping Them (American Girl Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/160958905X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_JWFXWCP1J9QQHFPZN5Y9
I had a book like this (not this actual one) when I was a kid; it was helpful.
If your kid likes reading books (well, being read to, I guess), try this book:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433801310
It did wonders for us when we were potty training our oldest. It also has some helpful tips for parents in the back, too!
I got something that looked like these a few years back and they worked great for me! Sitting out fourth of July by the lake I didn't get bit while everyone else did.
Mosquito Repellent Bracelet 20 Pack DEET-Free Insect Repellent Band Safe for Kids and Adults Waterproof Bug Repellent Wristband for Indoor and Outdoor Each Bracelet Protection UP to 72Hrs https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B08LK1XF64/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_P2V80G5BXS92A1GZQ892
If they got wet they stopped working though. I kept mine in a ziplock and they kept for several years when not used. And I could use them for a few days before they lost effectiveness. For my toddler I put a small backpack on him and hooked a band to the backpack so he couldn't get it off 🤣
I had a mom recommend this formula mixing pitcher. She said it went a long ways to reduce air bubbles that gave her baby colic.
I'm assuming there's no food intolerances that could be contributing?
My baby has been on them for 2 weeks, due to an infection. I asked the doctor what was most important in a probiotic: particular strains, the most strains, or CFUs. She said CFUs and said that basically, giving a probiotic every day is so minimal risk that she suggests continuing it even after discharge. Our hospital was giving us this:
FloraTummys Probiotic Sprinkles for Kids: 30 Taste-Free, Probiotic Powder Packets, Free of Food Allergens, Dairy Free, Gluten Free Sugar Free, Non-GMO, Vegan. 5 Billion CFU: Bifidobacterium Lactis, Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Immune System Health, Prebiotics(1) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0086GNFRA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_DPKZK6HJCCW47D1PBGBM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
They're actually quantitative, but the instructions say to dump any milk with the presence of alcohol, so functionally go/no-go. These are the ones I use but there are several different ones out there: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07HTM7J29/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_NA2V2E591J9CBE7MJ5FW
Okay so overall idk how to help. But I found these cups & they are really cool but may also help your situation for at least drinking.
Echoing everyone - I think this is very normal!! This is exactly what my 13 mo does. I have heard it said that before kids have reliable impulse control (it will be years), WE have to be their impulse control. If you don’t want him touching the speaker, block his hand from the speaker, etc.
I’m only a little ways into the first book, but I’ve also seen Louise Bates Ames’ series (“your ___ year old”) recommended for this purpose. Generally the caveat is “take the developmental info and ignore the outdated parenting advice” lol
The Pediatrician's Guide to Feeding Babies and Toddlers: Practical Answers To Your Questions on Nutrition, Starting Solids, Allergies, Picky Eating, and More (For Parents, By Parents) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1607749017/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_C0VYK878E9Q558CBX7MR
I found this book an extremely helpful starting point and it was a reliable reference for the first three years. It included concise explanations, convenient summary charts, and recipies. It is authored by Dr. Anthony Porto and Dr. Dina DiMaggio, both of whom have exceptional experience in this subject matter.
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I’ve got a very pale baby. First line of defense is shade/hats/clothing. We have a half dozen long sleeve spf rash guards and two of these hats Baby and Toddler Sun Hat - UPF... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S31YXWG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We have tried a LOT of baby and toddler hats and this one wins hands down.
Then we use mineral sunscreen on his face because the hat doesn’t always stay on, hah.
Queen Bees and Wannabees iirc is a work of sociology that might have the kind of insight into the social lives of girls you're looking for (looks like it has a new edition, title is pretty dated though!)
https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-3rd-Realities/dp/1101903058
As far as curriculum for toddler/preschoolers I don't have any I'd personally recommend but someone brought up this book on a thread recently.
What has worked for me has been just playing games. It will be too much for a toddler but as your child gets older things like snakes and ladders, uno, mathemagical world, ten frame towers, tangrams, cuisenaire rods might be worth looking at. My four year old loves those.
Depending on how old your toddler is the number blocks TV show is really good.
I say this has worked for me but I have yet to see the final results yet! My oldest (7) was one of two kids out of her class put in the advanced maths class... but she has starting telling me she dislikes maths... hmmm. My youngest is 4 and he loves all things numbers and maths so we'll see.
Looks like this will be unpopular based on the replies so far... bracing for downvotes.
As a child psychologist, I would recommend teaching her to sleep by herself, so she (and her parents!) can get good quality sleep. Search "bedtime pass" on Google Scholar, or buy the bedtime pass book on Amazon. I also recommend this book; it's short, funny, and based on good science:
https://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sweet-Dreams-Love/dp/1889322652
Crocs have really thick soles and aren't very flexible. When they say flexible, they mean you should be able to bend the heel and toe of the shoe to touch together. Then they say thin, they mean REALLY thin, like, millimeters thin, if that.
Now, how important these characteristics are is questionable, I'm just clarifying what people mean when they say flexible with thin soles.
You can see the difference if you look at a pair of Crocs https://www.crocs.com/p/kids-classic-out-of-this-world-ii-clog/206818.html?cid=100&adid=Shopping_Google_NonPromo_kids_NULL_206818&CAWELAID=330004870000949352&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=119979382973&CATCI=pla-1213115640676&ef_id=Cjw... vs like a water shoe here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PY6QHNZ/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_PTF4VDAB4VD5PXGYA6D1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
The croc sole is wayyyy thicker and you can't easily flex the sole the way you could with the water shoe.