So. It's from Dr. Burns' book, The Feeling Good Handbook.
I feel like a lot of people have a self-help book they swear by, and this is mine. I always want to talk about it on Reddit but never have because I don't want to look like I'm....advertising it, I guess? But. It's great. And daily mood logs really help me get out of a rut. Especially if something has been eating me up for days.
My first recommendation would be for you to just get the book. I got mine for about $4 off of a used book site. Abebooks or Betterworldbooks, one of those (geez, advertising all over the place!).
Essentially, you identify an event, very specifically, that's been bothering you. Then you identify which emotions you're feeling and how strongly you're feeling them.
Then you write down all your automatic, negative thoughts and rate how strongly you believe them.
Then you go back through and identify the cognitive distortions in each thought.
Then write a more positive/realistic thought and rate how strongly you believe it.
Then you go back to the negative thoughts and re-rate them and see how strongly you still believe them.
I really can't do it justice. The book does a much better job explaining it and giving rationale, but yeah, that's my best coping strategy.
I don't know about the rest of you isfjs, but I sometimes have trouble letting myself relax due to guilt that I should be doing something productive. I've found a good compromise with Duolingo. This site alone won't make me fluent in a foreign language, but it's a fun way to learn the basics or brush up on a forgotten language while sitting on the couch.
Oh btw, here’s a book recommendation for you. Will help with your aggressions/need to be domineering/racist, whatever else you’re dealing with: https://www.amazon.com/Masculinity-Toxic-Primer-21st-Century/dp/0500295026 (Bonus info: the answer is yes😊) Again, have a nice day!
I highly recommend reading Finding Your Element by Ken Robinson. He discusses how a lot of us don't realize our natural aptitudes and how to figure out what our passions and talents are, and what to do if they're not easily monetized, etc.
It didn't help me for a couple years, but I kept it in mind and one day it came together for me. I've been refining my ideas as I gather more info.
I used to feel like that until I finally found what I want to do with my life For some people it's their hobbies, for others it's work or kids.
For me, it's going back to University and to study what I'm interested in and get into a fulfilling career. This has changed with time as I've realized what I want better. (I'm 28 and feeling like a late-bloomer but it's becoming more and more normal for people not to give up on their life before it's even half over.)
Que será, será. / Whatever will be, will be.
Focus on you and your own goals. You don't know if your influence might have a positive effect on them later on. In the mean time, pick up some nice ear plugs and a sleep mask.
Oh yes! I make to-do lists for even the smallest things.
I keep a physical planner since I'm in school full time and work part time (although it creeps up to full time every once in a while) and need to keep everything organized. I like the one I linked to because on one side I can see my week laid out and on the other I can literally make one huge to-do list for the week.
I like making to-do lists because they help me plan out what I'm going to do and keep me from feeling lost. It also eases my anxiety about forgetting/missing something because everything's in one place that I can reference back to at any time. I like having a physical record so if I get behind I can see all the stuff I haven't crossed off and it's kinda like a kick in the butt to get going.
There's also something to be said about the satisfaction of crossing everything out and knowing that you can relax on your day(s) off.