What are /r/lifeinapost's favorite Products & Services?

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You've taken a huge step already, being honest with yourself and wanting to stop spinning your wheels. Now the next step: read this book.

(I'm not affiliated with the author or publisher in any way. I think the answer you've reached out for may be in here. If not, what the heck, it's just a book.)

You are displaying behaviours typical of children of alcoholics. Don't worry. There is help. Try to find an Al-Teen or Al-anon group near you http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen. Although you may be worried about attending, you will feel different when you realise your situation is not unique. You do not have to suffer alone.

A really good book that might help you understand your situation is http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoholics-Janet-Woititz/dp/1558741127.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.